Well son, another year has gone by. It seems so much longer for me since I saw you. I miss you so much and will til I see you again. I’m blessed with your boys, Tracy and all the kids to be here with me. I h know if you were here you’d be able to get me thru the bath oaths I have taken. Tracy and kids help me tho. I love you so much and see you in your sons.  I know you are with family and I will see you again too.
Always in my heart son and forever you are missed and lived. Mom

There are no words that can tell you how deeply I, as your family, friends miss and think and talk about you in conversation. I miss you so much son. So much is happening here and I know you see this. 
I feel very alone at times now with the passing of MJ.  I am so blessed having Shylen with me and Tracy and her kids. They have helped me and are there for me. You'd be proud of Shylen how he stepped up for MJ and me as well as Tracy and family.
I wish you were here so I could hug you once more and tell you how much I love you. I know time here is so short and I will see you again. Never ever forget how proud I am and blessed to have had you as my son!!
Til I see you again. Love you..mo.

9 years it's been today since you left! I can't believe it's been that long already. I miss you but I know you are with the lord and are happy and because of that, I can't be sad. You are the lucky one. So much has changed since you left and time keeps passing by. We are all growing older and finding our ways. We have lost other family members, and gained some new ones. Everyone is okay here but you are still very much missed. Tommy and I plan to come visit the lake tonight just to say hi. You should see our granddaughter River. You would love her! She looks so much like Tommy. You would also be so proud to see Tommy with her. Seeing him be a Daddy reminds me alot of watching you be one. Wish you were here to see it!

Well son it's your 48th birthday and you should be here. I miss you so much znd my heart aches every day not seeing or having you around. You left behind two terrific sons and sister and family who love you so much and miss you. I know you are with family and the lord and that helps me. I still hear your laugh and can play movies or look at pictures of times we had but it's not the same. 
I love you dearly son and happy heavenly birthday. Love..Mom

It’s been 8 years little brother since we got one of those hugs or saw that smile. Holidays, birthdays they got easier but those little moments we are missing like your crazy jokes and movie nights and visits from Illinois, those still sting. Being able to call you and having you here to hold my hand while we walk through what life brings us to next, that still brings the tears. Not being able to share the most wonderful times and have your support through the tragic times, that can still bring me to my knees.
Everyone is all grown up now and moving on with their own lives. Shylen has been traveling became a bartender and getting to know his brothers. Tommy is engaged to Taylor and your granddaughter is so beautiful.
Sara is lost so if you can watch over her…
Chris is a machine operator and is just living life, back in Illinois for a little. Mike is going to take his Journeyman test this year and working the job you loved. Taylor is getting ready to start school and looking into a medical or electrical trade. Moms busy with something like always haha. I became a mom again and you’d love your little niece, she likes your monkey face picture. I thought we’d be watching the kids do this together, but in a way we are so that’s good enough for me.
Maybe it’s because of how we grew up, dad in the Air Force, moving all the time, you were never just my annoying little brother…you are my best friend, my day one as the kids say and I miss you.
But I’m glad you’re missing the craziness of the world today and we needed another angel up there to help dad watch over us.
I know I’ve got through some days just because of you…
Give dad and that grand baby of mine a hug,

This year I will watch the most important thing I physically possess and that you put all of yourself into it. When I checked the mail that day I was so confused and then I watched it and felt all your love. It’s the hug you left me and I’m so thankful ❤️

#keepingyourmemoryaliveforever

It's your 8th angelversary today. I can't believe it's been that long already. So much has happened here since you left. Time keeps passing and those left behind are getting older. Our granddaughter River is 9 months old now and so adorable. You would love her so much. She looks so much like Tommy. Her momma Taylor is a good woman and is good to Tommy and her. I like her a lot. I think you would too. I wish you were able to meet them both. Thinking of you.

Remembering as I do every day my son Randy. There isn’t a day I don’t think of you and miss you dearly. It’s hard to believe it has been 8 years as it seems so much longer to all of us. I wish he was here to share the growing up of his sins, and great granddaughter and be in the lives of his sister and nieces and nephews. I know I will as they will all be together one day again in a world so much easier then this.
I love and miss you son. 
Forever your mom

So fashionably late, midnight passed before I could get this up but tbh I think you've been messing with Tay and I lol
7 years of birthdays in Heaven, we were there again today to celebrate our love for you and the great memories you left us. We caught up, hugged, laughed and reconnected. You are still able to give us some of our best memories and we thank you❤️
I love you little brother and thank you for the pieces of you in this town that carry me along

Happy heavenly birthday son. It doesn’t seem possible that you have been gone for this many years. I miss you every day and I am glad I have memories of you, your funny ways, and family time we had. I see you in your boys and they miss you a lot too. Yet, I know we will all be together again. Sometimes I feel you around me and when I have talks with you I feel your answers. Know you are much loved and missed and my heart has a big chunk missing since you have left.  I will see you soon son. With deep love....mom

Happy heavenly birthday Randy. I wonder what you would be like if you were still here. 47 years old you would be today. I wish I could have been able to watch you grow older. This world has gone crazy and back again since you've been gone. You would be so shocked at the way things are now. Miss you.

Well son, it’s 7 years now you have been gone from out lives. It seems so much longer, yet doesn’t seem that long too. I miss you every day and you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I remember the times we had together and hold on to those memories. You’d be so proud of the young men your sons are growing into. I have had a few bumps along the way with them, but I know you have guided me thru those and with the Lords help they have overcome much since you have been gone. They miss you as all of us do. I pray the lord will let me stay here til they all are secure in themselves and your sister too. Deep down, I think He will.  Life has had a lot of ups and downs, corners not expected but your sister and I and kids (now young adults) are getting thru it.  I can still hear your laughter and voice. I thank the Lord for letting me keep that. Sometimes I feel you near me, especially when I talk to you on things troubling me. I love you son, and I know you know how much now. You are and always will be loved and missed. Give all our family a big hug for me and let them all know how much they are thought of and loved.  With much love.....MOM

1/29/2020
The years keep on ticking away, life goes on, we all get older. We take day by day and do best we can. The hardest part is you not being here son. I miss you so much and you are in my thoughts every day. Decisions I make with your sons, I ask myself what would you want me to do and I know answer as tho you are here.  I remember good memories of you and what an awesome son you were. Yes, you had issues but we know what caused them.  You'd be proud and I know you are of your sons.  They are becoming fine young men and Tracy and I will be here and continue to help them as you would.
We miss you and love you dearly. Happy 46th birthday and give family love from me. With much love. Mom

Happy Birthday Randy! I Love You Cousin...

Happy Heavenly Birthday Randy! I hope you are enjoying a party with God and those friends and family that are already in heaven. Til I see you again...

Wow, 6 years already Randy. This is also the first year this date is falling on exactly the same day of the week (Friday). Somehow, this is making it different this year and a little harder than years past. So many memories swirl in my mind, replaying all of the days events leading up to your leaving. The memory of the police coming to our house and delivering the news is still horrid to me.
I can't begin to tell you what that felt like. So many things could have been done differently so this didn't have to happen. You leaving changed so much, some immediate and others following over the next few years. I guess we all have found our new normals by now and life is still good although much different than what it was supposed to be. I hope you are happy and at peace where you are. I will see you again someday.
In my thoughts,
Denna

Happy 45th Birthday Randy... I Love and Miss You and Uncle Mike Very Much!

Happy Heavenly Birthday Randy.... still think of you every single day.

22 DEC 2018
Today is Mj and my anniversary... 12 years. It seems longer then 5 years you have not been here. I miss you so darn much son. I miss our teasing, joking, even difficult times... I just miss You!! I am doing best I can with your boys and they are growing into men. It hurts you have not been here for them. They miss you dearly.  I know we will all be with you one day and I know you are with your dad and our family and believe you are all taking care if Cayson for us. He was a beautiful baby and we miss him too. Watch over us, esp your sons OK.  Keep eye on our girls mitzi and candi too.
I live you more every day son. You are always in my heart and thoughts.  Love mom

Thinking of you today on your 5th angelversary....

Love and Miss You Randy.

It has been five years today you left to be with the Lord. It seems so much longer than that. I miss you everyday and you know you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday too. No one know when your time to leave this earth is, but I still believe and trust in the Lord that He takes you when it is best for us and we all will see the reason when it is our time. I love you more every day son and I know you are proud of your sons as they are becoming wonderful men. I am doing my best to do as you would want me to. Your presence is deeply missed by all of us, your sister and family and your sons. MJ and I talk about you often and we miss you. Give our family with you a big hug and care for Cayson til we see you again. Loving you dearly...Mom

Happy 44th Birthday Randy! Love you very much!

Happy heavenly birthday Randy.....it's the 5th birthday you've had there already and your presence here is still missed everyday.

I so miss you guys sometimes
I love you Randy
Give dad a hug and my love
You two are the worst part of letting go so far...
I miss your hugs
You are forever my favorite dude

Happy 4 year angelversary Randy. I still hate the fact that each year that passes there are more things you have missed. I have accepted it was your time though. I hope you are enjoying heaven. Miss you!

It has been 4 years today that you went to be with the Lord. there are no words that can tell you jow deeply i love and miss you. it seems so much longer then 4 years. i know you are with your dad and our family and we will all be together again one day. you'd be very proud of your sons and I am doing the best I can to guide them with God's help.  i miss you son and i know you know now jow much i love you.

Turns out I am one of the less fortunate, that gets to miss you for longer than I've had the chance to know you. I remember talking about your father and how he left so young, and how that affected you. Your skills at pool, your natural ability to lead people and to have people willfully follow you, your charisma, your origami art and your poems, most of all your intellect and depth. You were a rare gem, and the most important parts of you still shine as brilliant as ever and are carried on here in my memory and in so many others. You never will fully die. Even on Earth your soul still shines on. Miss you, friend.

Happy 43d birthday son. It still is hard to believe you have missed 4 birthdays with us. This day hold many wonderful memories for me...the day you were born and I was blessed with a son. It is also a day of remembering you the good times as a kid and the smiling young toddler that your sister adored. I wish we could move time back and redo things that could make life easier for us and bring those we love back. That happens in Gods time and plan when we will all be together again. 
Always know that I love you more then words can write and miss you every second of every day. You are in my thoughts and prayers. A candle is lit for you today and your are deeply loved and missed....

Made you your birthday video again...

https://flipagram.com/f/136LK9te71p

To the guy that I prayed for
That made me laugh
That made me cry
That made me so angry sometimes that I thought I'd kill him
To the guy who brought out the smiles
To my brother, my best friend
To the guy I miss with ever breath I take
Happy Birthday
I love you
Yesterday today and in all the tomorrows God gives me...

Happy Birthday Randy! I know you are in Heaven with Uncle Mike and one day I hope to see y'all again. I Love and miss You, Uncle Mike, Aunt Jamie, and Cousin Tracy very much! My heartfelt thoughts and prayers with you always...

Another year without you. In some ways it seems like it was yesterday and others it seems like so long ago. We still miss you so much. Things just aren't the same without you. Love you forever. I wish you were her. There are so many thing I want to tell you. I miss all of our holidays together and the bbqs and everything we all did together. We will always love you.

Happy 3 year angelversary Randy! We miss you~

Today it is gloomy, rainy outside and my thought are with you more than usual. I miss you Son so much. It doesn't seem real yet that it has been almost going on 3 years you have been with the Lord. Each day it is harder to deal with knowing that you are gone from our sight and presence. You would be proud, and I know you are, of your sons. They are becoming strong young men. Both miss you dearly too and even tho they dont say it, I feel their pain.  You should be here! I trust in the Lord that He knows the reason why you had to be taken so young and I know we will all be together, our family, again. Please guide your sons, sister and me and help us thru times we have our lows. You left an empty spot in our hearts.  I love you son, and I know you know just how much now.  Forever, Mom

Happy Birthday Randy. I Love You!

Another birthday son. I miss you so much. Still having hard time dealing with all of the things that have happened. I love you and wish you a heavenly birthday today. Til together again. Live you. MOM

Happy Birthday Randy! I hope your messages made it to you!
I love you Randy!

Another year older today. It occurs to me every year that you and dad never got this far in life and that makes me sad.
Knowing I won't get that phone call I waited every year for is just a reminder that this is an unchangeable situation.
Getting older doesn't make me sad....the things I miss do...
Love ya Ran

Another year is about to pass without you. It's so crazy but dealing with you being gone is like living with half of myself. It's funny how after you lose someone you realize how much you took for granted when they were there. I'm so sorry I listened to people and didn't come to you. I needed you but I didn't want to bother you and I know that hurt you. I love you Randy. I am trying so hard to be safe for our kids so I can be here for them for both of us. I even freak out in vehicles because I am afraid of what could happen. PTSD after you, my superhero brother died, maybe? But you'd laugh cause I drive everyone crazy lol!!
Watch over them with dad and keep them safe and I promise in 2016 I will try harder and give our family a good happy life, even if I have to go crazy doing it lol. I can do this, Help me find a better place I need you and your craziness and your support. Fact is I just miss you so damn much!
Love you little brother, please give our dad a big hug...
Happy New Year....

Christmas three without you...it still sometimes seems unreal. So much has happened and changed since you went home to dad.
I really think we are all doing better, not great but better. The void in our hearts that can only be filled by you are still very present but we are learning to live with it.
Not a minute of the day goes by that you don't cross my mind. There are so many things you should be here for big and small.

A song for you and dad...yes both of you its country lol sorry
You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell

Christmas two without you...2014

Christmas Eve... The smiles of the amazing family I have helps hold back all the tears that are always just a blink away. When I moved my family back here JULY of 2013 i was so looking forward to being here and being with my brother and his family and my mom. I crossed the border into Oklahoma and my soul screamed with joy! Sadly this is another holiday I was looking forward to spending with them that, although happy because I'm so lucky to have great kids, is also bittersweet because through this last year we have lost so much. All the hopes and dreams I was so looking forward to are now just realizations that those who we love leave, whether by circumstance or choice. It's a lesson in life I will never get used to. We will enjoy today and tomorrow for you dad and Randy, we will continue to grow and get stronger together as a family and I know you are both right beside us all cheering us on. The people in my life, this family is unbreakable and share the truest form of love. I have complete faith in that. You all are my reason to keep on keeping on and the smile in my heart! I love you mom Jamie Aufieri Ogden I love you Sara Elizabeth Aufieri I love you Chris Sondag I love you Mike Sondag I love you Shylen Aufieri I love you Tommy Aufieri I love you Taylor Sondag I love you Neall I love you Sam
Thank you for truly loving me, I'd be lost without you

With a heavy heart for the second time in my life I enter the holidays clinging to every great memory I have. I know my dad and brother will be with us all but long for a knock at my door and a surprise Christmas visit. Somehow, sometimes my mind tricks me into thinking its possible for my brother to still show up tho I know its not. I know longer think my dad will... Maybe they will find a way to visit somehow. Love will carry us all through this...I am blessed, I have a great family and great friends. I am thankful for that. Miss you like crazy Dad and Randy...I need a time machine

Christmas 1 without both you and dad 2013

I was scrolling through all this and my only thought is
Hey Ran do you see how loved you are!!! If you ever doubted it in this life you now know you were wrong to doubt it. Hind sight is 20/20 right?!

Miss ya a lot Ran but yeah I'm starting to smile more! Missing you is hard. Thanks for leaving me with such great people to help keep me going! I'm so very thankful for our mom, kids, sis, Sam, my other brothers, family and friends, the job you sent me as my trump card, waking up every morning to this gorgeous sunrise and just life in general! If you were here it would be perfect but I'll take what I can get! Got a job to do here and people counting on me!! Couldn't do this without you by my side and dad having my back! Aufieri's never give up and fight fight fight!
Just love you guys up there and everyone here, just felt like letting you all know wherever you may be!

These are the hardest times...the times when we should be preparing to come see you all. The decades that the week before we came was all we looked forward to. Thanksgiving Christmas Spring Break Summer those four day weekends throughout the years when all we talked about and got excited about was being here with ALL of you...no turkey dinner, no Christmas gift topped our trips. Once the happiest most exciting times now come with a silent storm that makes me feel bipolar.
I miss you Randy! Love you always

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you. I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself to, you gave me all of you.

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear, because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent. And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.

I challenged you because I loved you.

I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn't easy — as in, I didn't just "go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you - I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.

I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired.

There are many things I never thanked you for.

I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open and new light got in, you made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.

I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one, it was the kind of love that gave me new life, that taught me much more than a happily ever after ever could. And I don’t regret a second of it.

Today you have been hone 2 years. Today also Leah has been gone from her family. I am mising you son, I am still angry because this should not have taken place 2 years ago. I accept this because as a child of God, I believe the Lord gad his reason for taking both your lives that day. Yet I can still be angry.

There isn't a minute you aren't on my mind, I don't miss you and feel the emptiness you, my son, left me with. I miss your smile, laugh, yelling, I miss YOU. There is no fu)in this spot with another son, as no one can fi) this hile. Nor can any one fill that spot in your sisters heart, nor your two sons,nieces and nephews ever. We had one chance at having that with you.

I need to grieve soon as my heart is needing it. I am driving everyone away that I live because I am trying so hard not to hurt like this again so I am holding on so tight everyone is leaving me. I pray every night for thus ache to get beter, but it get worse every day.  I know when all turmoil it over I can heal...I pray our family and sons will too.

I love you and miss you. Hugs to our family in heaven and a hug to mitzu for me and scooter. Mom

We're there is great grief there is great love...I must love you a lot because sometimes it's hard to breath without you. Happy two years with dad in Heaven Randy. I have so much I want to share with you...
It was always Tracy and Randy, now I struggle to feel whole without you...I miss and love you...

Well honey, it's not officially the date of your angelversary but it is the DAY.....this day, Friday, two years ago. You were working at this time....and chatting with me during lunch. I would see you for the last time briefly around 6pm and you would never return back home to me. I still miss you everyday and thinking of you often. I will always miss your sweet smile. I still wish I had known our time was ending so we could have said Good Bye. There was so much left unsaid. I guess that is the worst part about this tragedy that took you away so suddenly. Thank you though for the wonderful years we shared while you were here. Those years and memories we created are irreplaceable and will stay with me forever.

Happy Father's Day Dad and Randy. The two most influential men in my life, the two men I loved first... My heart aches for you both and I miss you so much! The day I join you I will be sad leaving the ones I love behind but I know I will smile seeing your smiles again. You are our angels and I thank you for looking out for all of us. And I thank God for letting you continue to guide us. Every breath I take is to breathe your memories into our new generations. I love you both, forever and always! Your memories with live on forever!

Thinking of you Randy....