ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Ravinder Kaur, 80 years old, born on April 11, 1940, and passed away on November 10, 2020. We will remember her forever.
Posted by Kanwal Kaur on April 4, 2021
Amma..I miss you

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Posted by Kanwal Kaur on April 4, 2021
Amma..I miss you
her Life

A Mother - With a Difference

Moms are moms. but my mom was with a difference. She was an angel in disguise of a human form who dedicated all her life to God's service and chanting prayers. She never wanted to be in the limelight and showbiz. She was a simple woman with love in her heart towards all living beings- be it dogs, cats, birds, monkeys, cows, or anyone. And this is what she taught us: Compassion to one and all.

Qualities in her that made mom unique:

  • She was beautiful both inside and outside
  • She had big and beautiful eyes and a long nose
  • A firm believer of that superpower that controls all planets: life and death
  • She was a miraculous woman who faced so many hardships in life yet not lost faith in herself and her God.
  • Shy and reserved to herself and her little world
Her Qualifications:
  • Did Graduation from College
  • Was a diploma holder in Giani or religious studies
Whom she met in life

  • Mahatama Gandhi
  • Jawaharlal Nehru
  • Giani Nirankar Singh (her master who was blind at the age of 5 but a great intellectual figure)
Her Parents

Mother: Bhagwant Kaur
Father: Gian Singh

Her Siblings

Sister: 2
Brothers: 4

(None of her brothers and sisters ever gave her love)

Her kids
Two fortunate kids to have an extraordinary mom like her
  • One daughter
  • One son

Mother - Whose destiny was such

Her Marriage:

Her marriage changed her destiny from a cheerful, young girl to a woman who was looked upon as a step mother or second mother.

Her husband was 14 years elder to her and she was 28 years when she was married. Her husband was previously married to her own elder sister from which he bore 5 children. Unfortunately her elder sister died due to tetanus then a deadly disease leaving her 5 young kids behind, elder son being 15 years old.

Ravinder's mother never wanted to marry her daughter to a man with 5 kids. But she had no choice so she nodded for this marriage.
 
Mothers' marriage took place in Patna far from the city of Hazribagh due to the shame it might bring in marrying a virgin to a previously married man of 5 kids.

After marriage, she came to Lucknow the city in UP India where something else was in store for her. 

She met the worst of fate any woman could imagine. Her in-laws started the abuse and mental torture by exploiting the kids minds that she was their stepmother and would treat them badly.

Kids took advantage and started living their way of life whereby mother couldn't even speak a word of her mental atrocities to anyone or any relation.

Seeing all this she never wanted her own kids, but one of the famous doctors of Balarampur hospital advised her to have her own kid as the kids from her elder deceased sister would never be her own.
She wanted to abort me, her elder daughter who is writing this memorial for her now here at this site. But listening to the advise of the doctor she gave birth to me within 7 months of her marriage.

She was all alone in her pregnancy period as well as while giving birth as none of the ladies of the house, her sister in laws or mother in law thought to care for her at that time.

Soon more children were born from her womb, and fortunately I would say 2 males died of miscarriage and one died at the age of 18 months. 
She wanted one of my siblings to play with and her prayers gave birth to another male who is now my brother.
Mother thus bore two kids of her own.
She loved her sisters kids but they never called her mom, but called her Aunt or second mother due to the relation as such.

Mother - Relation with her husband

Mother's relation with her husband seems a business to me. When he needed her she was there, otherwise, she was secluded and left alone. She didn't had any money as she didn't earn and was totally dependent on her husband. It was his mercy or choice whether he brought her good clothes to wear or good food to eat. 

I don't understand but one thing I do recollect that one day her husband my father thrashed her badly and she kept on crying the whole night.
At that time I was studying in school and I remember she was so depressed from her sisters kids and her husband that she went mental. She used to speak to herself for hours which my little mind never knew what she was saying. 

After an year her sisters kids who were now young and working, had a tiff with my father due to some money matters and beat my father and mother. That day my father was also depressed as he who believed that his elder sons and daughters respected him was now in reality something different.

Then I was in college he had asked her to get out of the house with her both kids.

As mother's parents died just before her marriage and her brothers never cared for her she had nowhere to go except to remain at her husbands house.
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