This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Rayél Da Silva, 14, born on March 4, 1999 and passed away on July 17, 2013. We will remember him forever.
Tributes
Leave a tributeYet, here I am every year wondering how your life would have been if you were still with us.
Every year I am left feeling broken and filled with pain and anguish as the colours on your canvas fades with time. I reminded of the joy you gave and reminded of your loss without you in our lives. Mommy will miss you forever and yearn for you until we meet again "MY GOLDEN BOY"
It sometimes takes very sad endings to create other beginnings but we will never quite understand why these things have to happen
I love looking at your photos... You were such a beautiful boy... And by the sounds of it you lived a full and good school life... I loved your letter to apply to the high school...which got you in...
So we all cannot help wonder why did your life have to end there?
But I'm sure that through your passing and over these years we have all learned a lot..
Rest in peace special angel....
Xxxx xxxx xxx love to your mom and sisters
..
Then I would know that it was just a nightmare.
Son, I remember when you were small and how you would hold my hand,
and as you grew older you became my best friend.
Son, I have 14 years of memories that I will treasure and keep safe in my heart.
We share a bond that time and distance can never break apart.
Son, oh how my heart aches so.
I would love to have you back and never let you go.
Son, where there was happiness, now there is sadness.
Son, how I long to hear your voice and see your beautiful smile and have you back for just a little while.
Son, until that day I see you again, I will look to the sky and search among the stars for my son and best friend.
Love,
Mom
I wrote a tribute to you a few years later & proudly included it into my first book of inspirational poetry #Pathways OfInspiration
Your mom has & is reaching out to help others. She is a Strong caring lady but we know that her heart is still broken, there will always be a missing piece.
rest in peace & may your memory forever be a beacon of light to others.
So sorry that you could not be rescued to live a long long full life...you would have been AWESOME
In the short time you made an impact in all our lives, especially the youth at St Pius and my Bronwyn Langley.
I miss you everyday of my life. There has not been one day that you've not crossed my mind. I miss you dearly. You were my best friend. You and I had a bond like no other. I miss you brother. You would lighten up my day every time I felt down or not in the mood to talk. You had such a unique personality and aura. I miss you, I miss you oh so much.
Love
Your Buddy Imaad
4 March 2016
Oh young one
Why did it come to this?
What heart-wrenching cries
did you hide from us and from this world?
What demons tormented you in silence
and kept you from speaking out?
Were we to know what you never shouted out?
The cries that come from within now are for you
we did not know we failed you so
If only you had shared that silent part of you -
that inner voice we could not hear
and would have if we'd have had a choice.
Hearts broken as we miss your smiles and laughter,
Miss your being here with us -
Never again be able to hold you
and watch your steady growing.
If only your silent cries were louder to our ears
so we'd have been more knowing.
Forgive us will you child?
Failing you was not on our duty list.
Love sometimes blinds us to reality
and we lose a precious soul-
We cry now as we had no idea
that you felt anything less than whole.
Forever in our hearts you will be -
your memory, chiseled deep within.
May we feel you with the whisper of the wind,
the rustle of leaves or a falling feather,
a butterfly, a budding rose --
May your spirit surround us in our daily lives
and may you be at peace now and forever.
-----Dedicated to Bronwyn-----
in memory of her son Rayel……July 2015, By Laverne Schwimmbacher
Now you're living in the paradise.
Rest in peace mate!...
I was so very proud of you. You always made me so proud and you still said mom I am really working hard, if you can mom, don’t make you short, but I really love this cool dj set, imagine how much money I can make dj’ing at my friends parties. I said to you “my boy knowledge is power and no matter how hard life gets, no one can ever take that away from you and who knows santa might just surprise you”.
You were so excited about everything. I am going to miss your remixes you forced me to listen to almost every night, that I nagged you to place on sound cloud and you said one day when it is perfect mom. I told you it was great and someone is going to hear how great you are, imagine that Rayél and you just said, It not perfect yet, i'm working on the perfect one mom. You found a good song you would call me and say mom listen to this new song, and I would tease you and say oh Rayél that song is old this mom is hip, you laugh and say oh think you cool just go sit inside with the old people. Your science game you got, every time you found the elements to create a virus, moss, glass, coal even a vein you would scream calling to show me the elements and how you created it. I still made a joke and said I hope you not going to become a nutty professor and create a nuclear virus, and we had a good laugh. I pray every morning and every night to find understanding. I cannot accept your absence, I cannot accept you have left me with all your unfulfilled dreams and hopes. I cannot accept I wont see you anymore, I cannot accept I will never hear you laugh, talk and share your future plans with me. Who is going to tease me. who is going make me and daddy laugh with your quirky, witty personality. You were such an unselfish and caring boy and and oh so charming.
I pray to GOD to keep you safe and to give me help to find the peace.
You are my only son, my world revolved around you becoming successful, you are my golden boy and you always will be.
“The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand;
the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.” (George Eliot)
PAUSE - SILENCE
I would like to begin by thanking everyone for being here today, we are touched that you are here to show your support to the family and pay your respects to Rayel.
My name is Robyn, 1st cousin to Bronwyn and God Mother to Rayel.
I stand up here with one wish and one purpose. My wish is for everyone to remember Rayel the way I do and my purpose is to share my memories of him so that we will never forget.
As a family we were always informed and involved in Rayel’s achievements, with every accomplishment his Mom always enveloped it with so much pride. She made us feel part of his life and for that we are not only Blessed but divinely favoured.
Rayel was born on the 4th of March 1999 at the St Monica’s Maternity Home in Cape Town. He was brought into our world by his Mom Bronwyn Newman and his Dad Bradley Da Silva. Raised and loved dearly by his step Dad, Troy Newman together with his Grand Mothers ma Yvonne, ma Pam, ma Edith and ma Lucille. Rayel loved children and especially adored his sisters, Trinity, Trista, Jayden and brother Blaine.
I remember Rayel always had the highest regard for his older cousins and they were mentors to him in his life. He loved his cousins as much as he loved his own sisters and brother.
He always surrounded himself with good quality friends that were outgoing and a positive influence in his life. I remember some delightful days spent with Rayel and Bronwyn especially the memories I have of them when they stayed in our home for a short while. Rayel was like my own and I can still remember the way I used to comfort him as he fell asleep as a baby.
Rayel graduated from St. Anne’s school in 2012 where he was House Captain, Class Monitor and also in the General Knowledge Quiz Club. He joined the International School of Cape Town in January this year, after being selected from a large number of applicants for a full scholarship. These scholarships are awarded only to the most deserving candidates. He showed himself to be a student with great potential. In a relatively short time he began to deliver good work and first class results. Rayel fitted in very well with his peers and was also popular with other students in other grades. His cheerful, positive disposition and friendly attitude to all will be missed dearly by those who grew to know him at the school.
Rayel enjoyed many things including science, making his own music, hockey and especially baseball. He excelled in maths and science, loved experimenting with different things and enjoyed making movies. He even completed his first silent movie. When it came to music he was known as the beat boxer and he was even nicknamed Razadee. His passion was his sport, Baseball. He joined the Battswood Baseball Club in 2010. He never missed a season or practise session. He loved the game very much and he was even selected for Provincial trials for season 2012/2013.
He had his first Holy Communion in 2009 and also assisted as an altar boy in the church.
Rayel was raised to be a humble boy, always respectful to his elders. His family instilled the best in him. I remember Rayel always making sure that when he came to visit our home that his little sisters always greeted everyone in the house before they went to play. Of course as he matured into a handsome teenager, he would still visit us, always remaining humble.
He brought so much joy and laughter into everyone’s lives and his humour, respect, love, humility, dreams and intelligence will forever live on in our hearts.
Rayel, your humour, positive attitude and beautiful smile are what we will remember most about you. To me you are a true angel.
In conclusion I would like to leave you with this bible verse and poem:
Romans 14:7-9 for none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
POEM
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
I was the proudest dad, when you applied for the scholarship at ISCT me and mom sat in front of the interview panel with you, you took your time answering each question and answered without hesitation. We knew from that moment you were no longer that small boy, you grew up into the beautiful, intelligent, young man that we have always strived to install in you.
Rayel was always my “Backup” knowing with 3 girls in the house he would come to me jokingly when his mom checked him for something he would say” Dad go sort your wife out” and I would always say Bronwyn what did you do to Rayel.
We had so, so, many good times as a family going away on little holidays because we all loved the outdoors. He went on a road trip to springbok just the 2 of us and Rayel would say dad Im hungry , Im thirsty, I need the toilet, which made we stop and have a break which I needed. It made us also enjoy the trip more . When there was opportunities for you to come with me to work , you would always jump at the opportunity to learn more about what I did everyday at work which taught him so much, insight and appreciation.
He always would say that he was “Mr Break it” and I was “Mr Fix it” and I think he enjoyed breaking things so we could spend that time just fixing things together. He was inquisitive about everything and I was there to teach him. With my guidance I would watch you take a computer apart and put it back together just to show me for fun that he was better than me. He would always assist me when I worked on the car and asked me questions on parts of the car and what it does. I started teaching him how to drive not so long ago and he was so excited because he would say to me this is going to be my car. He was looking forward to get his learners and license which I think he would ace first time because he was such a determined young man.
Rayel would never give up on any project or task. One evening he sat up till after 4am finishing a silent movie for which he achieved top marks . My son,you amazed me every day showing me that you had so much talent and such a bright future to look forward to. Because every goal you set, you would achieve it successfully
In my mind I knew that I won’t last forever and that you would take care of our family
Rayel,I will sadly miss you forever, and ever, you made our family complete
Love you always
DAD
Leave a Tribute
Happy 25th Angel birthday Today
Blessed Be on your 20th birthday young man
dear Rayel so hard to believe that you would now be 20.
Your mom & sisters are beautiful and I am sure you are with them often.
I have again read through various posts here in this memorial sight & your mom has shared special moments. These moments are theirs forever.
R. I P precious SOUL
In loving memory of Rayél Owen Da Silva
4 March 1999 – 17 July 2013
By his mother, Bronwyn Newman
My son Rayél was a brilliant boy, with so much love and compassion for
others, so much sensitivity and brilliance. He was awarded a scholarship for
the International School of Cape Town, and could not wait to complete year
13 and qualify to get into Cambridge in the UK. He wanted to be an engineer
– as he put it, not just any engineer, but one who would change the world.
But now all our dreams are shattered, and you who read here, please
take this to heart, and help us make a difference in order to ensure
depression does not claim another young victim.
I often wondered, when watching the news, how parents survive when
losing a child, having raised, fed, clothed, taught and loved that child so much.
I could not imagine such a loss, or comprehend such pain.
One knows what unconditional love and protection mean: Your flesh
and blood, your creation, given as a gift from God to care for and nurture.
And then it happened to me, and my world fell apart.
One is never the same person when your child dies.
I gave birth to my son when I was 22. I was not married and was living
with his father, but we soon separated, and it was just me and my son, and
his father, every second weekend.
I met my husband Troy, and my son, who was almost two, bonded with
him and he soon called him Daddy. Our family grew, Rayél now also had our
two daughters as his little sisters.
Rayél loved spending time with his paternal grandparents and father
and came home happy. I thought he was growing up and understood life.
His father got married when he was about seven. When they started a
family, he started to feel unwelcome. His grandfather now became the father
figure, but then he passed away. Rayél was shattered and feared the bond
with his paternal family would now weaken. Yet his grandmother was his link
to his family, but Rayél was anxious about losing her as well.
He often spoke to me about his fears, and I tried to reassure him about
never losing his paternal family. Also with us at home he would share his
fears, we would feel bonded as a family, but when he went to his grandmother
he felt the loss, but also the obligation to care for her as his grandfather was
no longer there.
During 2011 my son’s anxiety led to self-wounding… He did not know how to
deal with his emotions.I was devastated and immediately arranged for counselling, which
seemed to be helping. In 2013 he even bragged about his scars going away.
“I don’t feel the need to cut anymore. I am feeling so happy and I am feeling
good,” he said.
On Saturday, 13 July 2013, we ate out before going to the movies. On
Sunday he went out with my husband, and the evening to Youth meeting as
usual – he enjoyed it and said it is always so much fun.
On Monday, 15 July, the girls started school, but he still had a week’s
holiday. He asked whether he could spend the last week with his grandmother
as he misses her and has not seen her in a long time. She fetched him that
Monday evening. When I hugged and kissed him and told him to behave, he
said “Always, Mom”.
But … that Wednesday evening I got a message from him saying I
must tell his sisters he loves them and will see them in heaven. And: “I love
you, Mom.”
I replied asking what kind of messages it is. He pinged me and asked
to phone him. I called immediately, and he said “Mom, I am feeling
depressed”.
I asked why, what happened, but he answered it is on my phone in a
note – which I never got. I told him I am coming to fetch him. He replied I
shouldn’t, he is only joking. I then messaged his grandmother to say Rayél is
sending good-bye notes. I also messaged my brother, sister and mom who live
four doors away. I messaged his cousin, whom he is close to, to get him on
the phone and speak to him. She replied his phone was off.
I rushed through, and seeing an ambulance, I put my hazzards on.
When I got there they were busy in the room. I could hear the heart machine. I
collapsed and just started screaming...
I have never in my life felt such a pain in my body. I thought I was
going to die.
As a family, we are broken. I have not accepted that he will not be coming
back. I miss him so much.
I have continuous pain in my soul, and think about him all the time. He
was my golden boy and I am angry at myself for not saving him. It feels as if I
cannot function any more. I was booked off for eight weeks, and in a clinic for
two weeks. Our home can never be the same again, and I live in fear of losing
my daughters.
How do we carry on living without the plans we had?
The dreams we shared?
The stories and music he made?
And there are so many teenagers who are also not coping with the
stress of our modern age. They now contact me, telling me about their anxiety
and depression – and that they have no one to talk to. They also fear being
labelled…We need an awakening of how life-threatening these feelings of
helplessness are – and that it is an illness called depression. We need to
educate parents and teenagers, that depression is an illness, and that one
can be treated. No one needs to be afraid to speak out. There is help, there is
hope.