April 12, 2019
April 12, 2019
Mom's life and legacy.
Once she become a mother,she was mother forever. Looking back through the years with my mother with pictures that actually tells a story.
In each picture, it depict the good times. There is nothing sad that emerge from these photos. Mom loved her family ,even my dad that she divorced when I was 6 months old and my sister 20 months old, she loved my uncle, aunt, cousins and family friends. I can recall everyone of them , It gave me a sense of belonging to a big beautiful family . Her love for others made me feel loved by many. My mother smiled often. She laughed at the slightest funny thing when at home. You see, my mother did not raised me until I was 12 years old , as was too young to tend to 2 babies with my dad, but was always there to my grandmothers house with my dad to tend to us.....Her heart was light and her pleasant character won her many friends.
I saw her cry when she was hurt. The pains shows in her eyes when she felt wronged. But she forgives easily and let things go without remorse.
I could always share with her the stories of my day, while listening patiently, without judgement the "funny" and "weird" things I tell her. She encouraged me to move forward , and to flip my wings after College, mom was the one that found me a job in America from the newspaper. Mom always celebrated my achievements in schools and College later on in life . Mom was a lady of class-
The Grief
Once I landed in the USA, We have been living very far apart from each other. Half-way across the globe, then after a couple years in America, I marry and had children 2 years later, one after the other.....So, I was taking care of my own family. But mom came each summer for a month and I flew each year to be with her with my kids and their father that worked for an Airline , so it was cheap to travel abroad-
My mom's health seems to fail each passing month. She was battling cancer . So, her and I flew to Europe, just the two of us for month, before my marriage to Robert that will take place in Switzerland- But moms health worsened...
The day she passed away, I was there by her bedside, with my husband ( Robert) I cried and grieved. The pain and heartache of losing her was numbing. Even though I was aware that she was ill, the hope of her recovery burns right in front of me. Any age will not prepare me for the time of her demise. And in my heart's desire, I did not want her to go, ever.
I missed my opportunity of being close to my mom as most families do ,due that I am not from this country, and have no family other than my children and their father at the time - I had the chance to kiss and hug her goodbye, stroke her hair, held her hand for the last time...
But I could swear she was still breathing, as mothers just don't die...but the lines in her face was gone, she looked like an angel sleeping , and every day , I picture her in heaven, tending to my baby sister that she lost in 1958 from trauma-
She lived a life by example; forgive and let go. Always taught me that what's in my heart will reflects on my face. Her character of forgiving and letting go is one of her precious gifts to myself.
These pictures of her, now sits in a conspicuous place at home. I get to see her always this way. In confusing situations, I look at her photo and start to think deeper of what she might have to say. The memory of her wise words gives me strength, words she has learned from my grandmother, her mother that raised me- Everyone on the family got along....No one was left behind.

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