Merry Christmas Rick - miss you muchly

This year would have been your 70th birthday….somehow 20 years have passed by since you died. Did you see that Deb and I went on vacation together? We had a blast - but would have loved it if you could have been there. We were going to have a 70 bbq and Leo was going to come! Unfortunately- work and life got in the way, so it was cancelled. Next year, dear brother, next year. Miss you now, miss you always, love you forever.

Daddy I woke up this morning not even realizing what day it was. Life has been so busy for me lately. So many changes so much has happened over the last 3 yrs, some good, some bad and some really good and really bad. But I am surviving it and figuring it out. I wish you could see Sage and Ocean daddy you'd be so proud of them. 

Sage is killing it in life, she just graduated with a masters is psychology. She works with autistic kids for a living. She is my little hippy girl. She is a nature lover, she loves pets and exploring and going on adventures. 

And then there's Ocean - he is our triplet. Literally if you look at me, you and him we are literally the same human. He is the most amazing human. He has done so many amazing things over the years and now he is a 2nd Lt. in the USMC. Something I never wanted for him but that's just because I am anti the man. lol but in true Nottingham fashion that kid did whatever the fuck he wanted lol. 

And Brandon, well he got lost along the way, but I haven't given up hope yet on him. He's an amazing human who doesn't see or feel his worth which is heartbreaking as a parent to watch. But he isn't a lost cause, but I could use your help with him. He needs a guardian angel out there making sure he doesn't kill himself lol.  So watch over him for me when I am not able to.

I miss you so much. I wish I could hear your voice just one more time. It feels like a memory that's stuck right now, like when you forget a word and its on the tip of your tongue but just wont make it out the memory bank enough to remember and say that word if that even makes sense.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Today is especially hard because I doing so good and I wish you could see. I got a killer new job this year, like finally made it to salary manager level again in life. I have the most amazing boyfriend ever, Squirrel, you'd love him. He is so amazing and such a pain in the ass lol he reminds me of you. Add all that to the amazing kids I have and I am definitely living a good life. I have to get back to work now Daddy.... I love you so much and not a day goes by you aren't on my mind. I am so sorry I was such a pain in your ass growing up, I'd give almost anything to see you and hear your voice just one more time. Because there wasn't enough hugs, not enough I love you's, not enough time. The reality is shitty, life's too short and seriously what's a girl supposed to do out here without her dad? Its like the night sky is missing the moon and there were no more shooting stars to wish on you.  RIP and Happy early Birthday Daddy. I LOVE YOU.

Its been 17 years and so much has happened since you left us. Still miss you the same amount as I did then.....don't think that will change. There have been times that it would have been nice just to sit and chat....smoke a doob and laugh with you. But, I suppose you know that...right? Love you big Bro....give Mom and Dad a hug and kiss from me. xx

Since when is 15 years the same as one day? It feels like yesterday that you passed, and yet according to the calendar...it's been 15 years. 15 years of missing you, missing your crazy sense of humor, your infectious laugh....not to mention you lighting your farts on fire! Miss you Bro...if I could wish you back - I would

I wish Heaven had day passes...I'd come visit.
Happy birthday Ricky

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.