I woke you up at 7 in the morning hurting so bad.  I went to the bathroom and ran bathwater so that I could lay in it for a while to ease the pain.  I got out about an hour in a half later.  I woke you as I got back into bed with you and told you it was time.  You got so excited that you packed my bags for us and got all dressed up even put on your watch.  You said you wanted to look nice for your son.  You drove us to the hospital I remember you would only go 75 so you would not get pulled over.  It took a while with a lot of pain before they would give me any medicine at all.  You held my hand through the pain.  I remember you had went to go smoke a cigarette and while you were gone my blood pressure dropped and they made me get on my hands and knees I was so scared then they would not let you or anyone back in the room and you were scared,  After they got my blood pressure back to normal they let you come in and I was crying because I was scared.  Then it became time to push and I pushed for  three hours and then it was time to have a c section.  You had to wait while they took me to get ready and I was so scared without you Ricky I was so worried that you were not gonna get to be there with me and I had never had any type of surgery ever in my life.  Finally you walked in in your white uniform with your little blue hat and mask on.  I remember I was shacking all over because of the medicine and you were worried asking me if I was ok.  Finally they pulled Little Ricky out and I heard him cry and we saw him and he was so beautiful like you and you cried.  Everyone said we made a pretty baby,  I was jealouse becasue you got to feed him his first bottle and you got to hold him before me.  I wish I could go back to that beautiful day baby.  I just wanted to say that you were a great father and husband and that you were there for me whenever I was sad or hurt you were always there when I needed you.  I wanted to thank you for giving me your son and always being there for him and me both.  I miss you and love you more than ever,  Every day is harder than the last.  I love you!


Lisa