ForeverMissed
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Robert Allen Lux 

1934-2020
Early Years: Bob was born during the Great Depression, but both his parents had steady jobs: Mabel as a bookkeeper and Henry as a machinist. Bob wasn't very old when his parents divorced. Although he never lived with his father again, Hank kept in regular contact with him and taught him the love of taking things apart and making new things. Bob lived with his mother and grandmother in a modest bungalow on the South Side of Chicago in the Kenwood neighborhood. His mother was a self-contained person who loved to read and valued education. His grandmother was a behind-the-scenes caregiver. As a child, Bob had been exposed to Lutheranism, but he used to say, “It didn't take.” Bob's lifelong love for cats began with his beloved Toby. In high school, Bob played chess and worked on the school newspaper. He was valedictorian of his class and got a full scholarship to the University of Chicago.

Young Adulthood: In college, Bob worked in the bookstore and enjoyed fencing. More to the point, he liked square dancing. His regular square-dance partner was a gregarious and artistic woman named Edith. Edith and Bob got married before they moved to Madison where he entered the U of Wisconsin PhD program. After he got his PhD in physics, Bob worked for General Electric. First the company sent him to Syracuse and then they sent him to Oklahoma City where he and Edith adopted their son, David. Bob turned down the next transfer GE offered. As a parent now, he needed more stability than moving every few years.  

Nuclear Physics Career: Bob's last move for decades was to New Jersey where he got a job as a civilian in the Army Research Lab at Fort Monmouth. He worked on its underground cobalt source for its radiation facilities. He also used Van de Graaff generators as accelerators to generate energetic particles and X-ray beams for low-energy nuclear radiation research. The first computers he worked on were old DOS mainframes. In order to program them, he learned several computer languages. Every year he would adjust to the latest computer models. Bob traveled all over the US presenting workshops and getting awards. He also won many patents. One of them was for a badge someone could wear to detect radiation.

First Marriage: Edith was Bob's social secretary, but Bob always tried his best to play along. Lots of their social life evolved around folk music. They participated in a regular folk singing group and attended folk camps and concerts. He and Edith didn't attend any religious services, although they would put up Christmas trees and eat latkes in December as Edith celebrated Passover as part of her Jewish upbringing. They were married for forty years. Some of their cat friends over these years were: Guppy, Gilgamesh, Chutzpah, Mike, and Hubris. Edith was loquacious and Bob was terse. She was talented and he was skilled. She was social and he was introverted. She was gifted and he was smart. After Bob and Edith had lived in New Jersey for decades, the Army Research Lab planned to relocate to Maryland. Edith and Bob decided he should retire early instead of moving, but Edith died unexpectedly leaving Bob alone with his books in his big, empty house.

Second Marriage: Bob realized being single did not suit him, but his social contacts had always come through his lab co-workers or his wife. No longer having either, what was he to do? Oh, he would be an early pioneer in computer dating, of course. He and Margaret wrote each other intellectual emails about social policy and history. When they finally met, they were delighted with how seamlessly they worked together on simple activities and how much they could learn from each other. Bob tended to choose his words carefully whereas Margaret tended to be more impulsive verbally. In 1999, they got married at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Monmouth County (UUCMC), beginning Bob's long journey into UUism. His UU friends now provided a new community for him and Margaret. Even though Dave lived in Chicago, Bob and Margaret were nonetheless excited when he and Liz provided them two grandsons, Max and Simon. 

Unitarian Universalism: Bob found Unitarian Universalists to be accepting of his agnosticism. He was on the Unitarian Universalist Ocean County Congregation (UUOCC) Board and edited its newsletter. In 2002, Bob and Margaret moved to Vallejo, California, in order to be closer to Margaret's daughter Marlo and Marlo's baby son Tivo. Once in California, Bob and Margaret joined the UU Fellowship of North Bay (UUFNB). Bob served as its treasurer. When many clueless newbies in the community reluctantly got their first personal computers, Bob became the congregation's official computer guru who helped them over their technological hurdles.  

Step-Families and In-Laws: In California, Bob and Margaret chose a house with a large deck and a place for Bob to garden in the back. They got to be active grandparents who could participate in Tivo's growth over the years. Bob continued to celebrate life's milestones with Margaret, Marlo and Tivo (who now goes by Julian). Bob was a steady presence even though he played a secondary role in the Kelso/Kindermann dynamic.

Before the pandemic broke out this year, Dave and his fiancée Jessica intended to get married in the summer on a cruise. It was obvious that Bob couldn't handle a cruise, though, so they arranged a simple family ceremony in Marin County in December, not realizing that COVID would make it their only ceremony. The couple's family includes his new daughter-in-law's three sons: Jake, Nate and Wyatt.

Gradual Decline: First Bob botched a chess game at the Senior Center. He got lost while he was driving. He had his cataracts removed and his knee replaced. He stopped gardening, stopped driving, stopped doing the taxes, stopped paying bills, stopped cooking and stopped taking out the trash. It was no surprise when Bob got his official Alzheimer's diagnosis in 2018. In 2020, he was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome, a bone marrow disease. As soon as he got this new diagnosis, he was moved into home hospice care, and Dave came from Chicago to Vallejo to help Margaret care for his father. Bob got weaker and weaker and slept longer and longer. He was never in any physical pain.


Surviving Family Members:

Margaret (Meg) Kelso – Bob's second wife
Dave Lux – Bob's son
Max & Simon – Bob's grandsons (Dave's sons from his first marriage)
Marlo (Mary) Kindermann - Bob's step-daughter (Margaret's daughter)
Julian (Tivo) Kindermann - Bob's step-grandson (Marlo's son)
Jessica Cummins – Bob's daughter-in-law (Dave's second wife)
Jake, Nate & Wyatt Cummins – Bob's step-grandsons (Jessica's sons)  










February 17, 2021
February 17, 2021
From Maggie Ingalls
I want to let you know that several contributions to the building fund have been made in honor of Bob.
What a sweet soul!
Maggie
NVUU Treasurer
January 17, 2021
January 17, 2021
From Ren R. W. Monsondegrass
I remember that Bob was one of the original founders and members of the Carquinez Cluster. I always enjoyed him in the group. He always had something intelligent, quietly humorous and unusual to say that taught me something new and made me think. I remember Bob's eyelash story, how it felt like there was an eyelash in his eye and the doctors thought it was something else and it turned out Bob was right. I remember when I first met Bob he had three lovely cats. He even knew about the neighbor's "Yellow Cat." Bob was intelligent, nice and fun to talk to.
November 30, 2020
November 30, 2020
From Bill Wedin
I don't think condolences are in order here. I think congratulations are! It sounds like the 2nd time around you found yourself a real good man. And you had some good solid years in which to enjoy him. And he you. For he chose well in choosing to spend so many good years with a good woman like you. You are one of the warmest wisest women I have ever known.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, Maggie, towards the end with Bob. 

Love, Bill
November 23, 2020
November 23, 2020
From Carol Lilleberg
Dear Meg,
Seeing you yesterday (NVUU Zoom) reminded me to look at the link to Bob’s page. I’ve heard you say that others have said they wished they had known Bob better. I sometimes sat next to him during our 1625 Salvador Social Hours, but never thinking to ask him to tell me about his life and work.

Looking at the Photos of Bob growing up I was amazed at how much he and Al looked alike! I wish I had known more about his scientific work. I was like a “Kelly Girl” at Stanford Research Institute and remember working on a card-sort computer that took up a whole building - the only one with air conditioning. I remember being fascinated by the VandeGraf generator and the talk I heard of their linear accelerator.

His dancing was a surprise to me too. I think he may have been the man watching a UUFNB “Talent Show” when I was dancing in the audience who asked “WHAT is she doing?”

I am so grateful to all the kindnesses you both have given Al and me. I remember changing our route as he drove us to visit Al in the SF Kaiser, you having me over for dinner, and even going back to visit him yourselves in the cardiac ward. And you spending the morning of a busy teaching day with Al in the Kaiser Vallejo visit he found delightful. I also remember earlier inviting you both to Sunday lunch at that restaurant I wanted to support (where Marie Callendar’s had been). And you welcoming me during my first visits to UUFNB at the Boys and Girls Club. Thank You!

Love & Light,
Carol

November 23, 2020
November 23, 2020
From Bonnie Richardson
Dear. Meg,

I am sad to hear of Bob's passing. I read comments on his life (much more than an obituary). He was an amazing person and even a dancer and folk music lover. I am sorry I did not get to know him. 

You are in my thoughts in this difficult and I am glad you have family around to celebrate his rich life.

Love,

Bonnie Richardson
November 22, 2020
November 22, 2020
Dearest Margaret,

What a wonderful man Bob was! I had not known all the things I just read about him. Wow. So multi-faceted. I wish I could have known him when he was in his prime with you and the church. In the limited time I did know him, what I saw was his devotion to you and yours to him. It was as if an aura of love shone around and between you both. As people die, often they become more and more themselves. It seemed at the end that Bob was pure love. I know how strong you are, so I know you will do your grieving as beautifully as you do all of your living and all of your loving, but I want you to know that if any dark times come, I am here for you. 

Blessings,
Rev. Leisa
NVUU
November 19, 2020
November 19, 2020
From Ruth Korte
Dear Margaret, I just found out that our Bob is no longer with us. I know how wrenching it is to lose a loved one. I feel your pain
and sorrow.  But I do know that when the dark cloud rises you can look back at many happy times.
   With love and sympathy, Ruth

November 16, 2020
November 16, 2020
From Sylvia Jones
Dear Margaret,

And so begins the next part of your very full life. Welcome.

I admire you so much for your dedication to the people you love and to
our church community. I like you for your enthusiasm for life, learning and teaching, and I love you for your essential goodness. I saw how you
made Bob's days glad, as we sing in one of our hymns,

Maybe there's not much I can do to ease your life now; maybe later we
can get together online with Margo, Jane and a few others and talk about
the rest of our lives. I hope, even though we just turned back to having
to have meals in our rooms, that maybe spring will bring health to our
country and time for a cup of coffee with old friends.

I am glad to have known Bob and experienced his kind nature and fine mind. You were a gift to each other.

Love and remembrance,

Sylvia
November 16, 2020
November 16, 2020
From Alison Weber
Hi Meg,

So saddened to learn of Bob's passing! And such a loss for you though not entirely unexpected. I will always remember him with affection for his wry comments and his helping me set up my computer. 

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and wish you all the best. 

Love

Alison
November 16, 2020
November 16, 2020
Margaret,
My condolences for your loss. Thank you for sharing Bob’s life story with us. He was an amazing person who had a full life and accomplished a lot. From these tributes I can see he had a lot of friends and admirers. We miss you on Thursday nights. When you feel ready, please come back.
Best Wishes
Jill White
November 15, 2020
November 15, 2020
From Cathy Wagner
Dearest Margaret❣️ Alan Just Came Into The Living Room To Tell Me Of Bob's Passing Over! Once Again, Your Visit Brings To Mind Such Warm & Stimulating Friendship After Jennifer's Passing! I So Wish That Alan & I Could Be With You As You & Bob Were With Us! Know You Are On Our Minds & In Our Hearts! Love❤️ & Peace☮️! Cathy

November 15, 2020
November 15, 2020
just adds much depth the I am grateful for knowing bob


privilege of knowing the many facets of such a remarkable man

iam grateful
barbarakummer
November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
From Frances Corman
Oh, Margaret,

We’re so sorry to hear about Bob’s death. What an amazing life he had! It is wonderful that he found so much love. We are thinking about you and holding you in our hearts.

Love,
Frances and Roger
November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
From Patricia Lopera Garcia
Ahhhh my Margaret,
He was your love....your husband, your partner, and everything for you. You also became his everything in his life.

We rejoice in the hope that our Bob is now in heaven enjoying the glory of God. No pain, no memory issues....no nothing.

My heart goes with you and the rest of your family.
Our prayers for all of you as family and friends.
Our Lord Jesus gives you all His comfort my Margaret.
I love you,
Patricia
November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
From Beth Bevington
Margret, Don and I heard of your husband’s passing and are thinking of you and your family.  We are never ready, as it changes our lives.  Hoping you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Beth and Don
November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
I always enjoyed the thoughts Bob shared in our Carquinez Cluster meetings. He was very deliberate and thoughtful and I always felt that there was much more behind what he shared verbally. I wish I would have been able to have longer discussions with him and learn about his work accomplishments first hand.
I extend my condolences to Margaret and all of Bob's family.
November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020
From Nicholas Carlisle
Dear Margaret

I'm so sorry that you have lost your beloved Bob. He was a good man. I know you loved him very much and this must be such a painful transition for you.

I had heard from Julian that he was getting weaker and less able to function. So maybe there's also a sense of relief as he is freed from this body?

I hope your family and friends are gathering around you to give you support.

Sending you much love

Nicholas
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Paul LIgda
Dear Margaret -
I have been thinking about Bob since first reading your email not knowing quite what to say.
I have been saddened over the many months it was apparent to me that first his motor skills and then his cognitive skills were waning.
When I first joined the group he so often impressed me with his insightful observations into the topics of discussion. Those contributions were infrequent but often had me reconsidering the view I previously held or had voiced.
I do hope the memories from the sharing of a loving relationship will help sustain you in the adjustments you must make in the days ahead.
Sincerely,
Paul
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
PS from Carol Abi Bass
Shall be saying some special ❤️ heartfelt prayers for Bob and you this evening sabbath, over
candles and wine!

Am feeling sad just just now, thinking of the many times I had the privilege of
just hanging out with you 2 and feline.....and eating! Or whatever!
Xxx
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Carol Abi Bass
I have had you 2, as you know, very much close in my heart and mind these recent weeks. I am most saddened to not have been able to hug and sing/hum to Bob in his last days. To sit in the house with you both.
What an incredible human being and life Bob has had. He packed in a lot! I loved teasing him and immensely enjoyed his gentle presence. I shall miss him greatly. Bob’s dry humor and perceptive comments were so “spot on”. And, you made an incredible pair.
I suspect a myriad of feelings will be swelling up, now/ soon, and even 3 years from now. I send you strong hugs! Abrazos, abi
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
Dear Meg and family,

Bob was such a loving and gentle soul. Thank you for the 'backstory,' I am glad to have known him at the tag end of such and full and interesting life.

Blessings,

Jane
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Facebook
Heather Lakin
Dear Aunt Margaret. I am so sorry for your loss.
· Reply · 1d
Joyce Keller
Hi Margaret. I read the memorial. I think you were well matched.
· Reply · 1d
Bert Monroe
I'm so sorry to hear of Bob's passing, though we did expect it. Bob was a wonderful man. We so enjoyed visiting you two and playing bridge. I loved reading his eulogy. There were so many things about him I didn't know, like he had been a square dancer and a folk singer. Rest easy, Bob. ❤
· Reply · 1d
Susan Artz Okun
Yes, folk music and square dancing were a surprise to me too - Bob was an amiable, go-along kind of guy, so I can see how that could happen. My, my did he love a good discussion! We had some great ones about science, history, and politics. He was my go… See More
· Reply · 17h
Robin Doerffel
Margaret, You will be in my thoughts. Sending you thoughts of comfort and strength.
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Cindy Barcime Berkowitz on Facebook
He was a quiet gentle genius. I’m so sorry David. May his memory continue to comfort you.
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
Tracy Bellarosa-Bonanno Sgro on Facebook
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I have very vivid memories of your dad and mom trying to teach me how to polka at midnight. Also when me and my cousin beat you and your dad at trivial pursuit. I’ve got a lot of mileage telling people I beat a
Nuclear physicist at trivia pursuit. I really enjoyed the time I spent with your parents. RIP Mr Lux.
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Rachel Wyatt on Facebook
Rachel Wyatt
I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a very sweet man. That’s so nice that you both had that extra time. Prayers to you and the family.
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
From Dave Lux on Facebook
This evening I was lucky enough to be able to say goodbye to my father Robert Lux as he peacefully passed away. A solid 86 years was spent observing the world around him and choosing his words sparingly and with thought. Usually the smartest guy in the room he was the polar opposite of my mother's social and gregarious nature. I’m glad I spent the last year or two ignoring the physical distance between us and getting to know him on a different level. His presence will be missed.
November 13, 2020
November 13, 2020
This from Shirl Giles, UU Ocean County Congregation: Bob and Margaret joined our congregation and almost immediately became a big part of all phases of our wonderful group. I was in awe of their many talents. What a big loss for our group when they moved to California! I am sorry to hear of Bob's passing and send heart-felt condolences to Margaret.
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
Margaret, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Bob was not someone I came to know well other than through passing exchanges at NVUU; he was always so pleasant. After reading the fascinating account of his life and interests, I certainly regret not having known him better. My thoughts and heartfelt condolences go out to you and all the family.
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
I so enjoyed reading and seeing photos about the Bob I didn’t know before he came to NVUU...all fascinating to me. Margaret and family, I am thinking about you and Bob’s family especially losing this wonderful person....what a rich exemplary life he led. Sending you all warmth and love - Phyllis
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
Bob was a kind and thoughtful person. David and I are so glad that we got to know him through the Carquinez Cluster meetings. He didn't say much, but when he did speak, he was worth listening to! I loved his subtle sense of humor and that twinkle in his eye. We are going to miss him very much.

November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
Watching Bob and Meg together over the past few years has been truly inspirational.  The tribute above was so lovely to read and I really appreciate the pictures.

Sending lots of love and gratefulness for a life well lived to you all.
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
Seeing Bob at NVUU was always a delight. We will miss him. All of our condolences and thoughts to Margaret and the rest of his family. Love, Cindy, Jesse, Kat and RJ
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
DITTO what Christy said - even at the last Carquinez Cluster he was able to attend :-) ! (Was surprised by how perfect his comment was!) & At a recent mtg, l almost swooned when you (Margaret) said that towards the end, Bob became quite verbally affectionate! HOW wonderful!! Boy if we could all go that way.... :-)
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
As Bob and I got to know each other, we found that our formal studies and work lives were in related fields as we both worked for the military. (We also both fondly remembered the same bagel bakery in Tom's River, NJ) But I will always remember him more as a philosopher than a physicist. I am glad I got to know him, and will miss him very much.
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
Whenever Bob had something to say, I always leaned forward and paid attention- he was full of wisdom and mirth. A wonderful combination, earned thru a wonderful life. Blessings and much love to Margaret and his family. 
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
I remember with great fondness my visits; Bob didn't say much, but when he did say something - especially when he said it with a twinkle in his eye - it was worth listening to. I'll miss him terribly. I could see how very much he and Aunt Margaret were in love, and my heart goes out to the rest of the family.
November 12, 2020
November 12, 2020
I didn’t know Bob very well, but when he spoke he always had something to say. My condolences to the whole family, but especially to Margaret, who has stood up so strongly through his illness. So many accomplishments in his life and a great sense of humor. He will be missed by all who knew him.
November 11, 2020
November 11, 2020
Bob was a kind and wise man. I will miss our conversations about science, history, and especially about local politics! He read the local newspapers, and had savvy insights about the candidates and issues. I greatly enjoyed reading about Bob's early life and work and seeing the wonderful family photos. 
My condolences to Margaret and the Lux family. Bob will be greatly missed. Love, Susan

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Recent Tributes
February 17, 2021
February 17, 2021
From Maggie Ingalls
I want to let you know that several contributions to the building fund have been made in honor of Bob.
What a sweet soul!
Maggie
NVUU Treasurer
January 17, 2021
January 17, 2021
From Ren R. W. Monsondegrass
I remember that Bob was one of the original founders and members of the Carquinez Cluster. I always enjoyed him in the group. He always had something intelligent, quietly humorous and unusual to say that taught me something new and made me think. I remember Bob's eyelash story, how it felt like there was an eyelash in his eye and the doctors thought it was something else and it turned out Bob was right. I remember when I first met Bob he had three lovely cats. He even knew about the neighbor's "Yellow Cat." Bob was intelligent, nice and fun to talk to.
November 30, 2020
November 30, 2020
From Bill Wedin
I don't think condolences are in order here. I think congratulations are! It sounds like the 2nd time around you found yourself a real good man. And you had some good solid years in which to enjoy him. And he you. For he chose well in choosing to spend so many good years with a good woman like you. You are one of the warmest wisest women I have ever known.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, Maggie, towards the end with Bob. 

Love, Bill
His Life
November 11, 2020
Robert Allen Lux 

1934-2020
Early Years: Bob was born during the Great Depression, but both his parents had steady jobs: Mabel as a bookkeeper and Henry as a machinist. Bob wasn't very old when his parents divorced. Although he never lived with his father again, Hank kept in regular contact with him and taught him the love of taking things apart and making new things. Bob lived with his mother and grandmother in a modest bungalow on the South Side of Chicago in the Kenwood neighborhood. His mother was a self-contained person who loved to read and valued education. His grandmother was a behind-the-scenes caregiver. As a child, Bob had been exposed to Lutheranism, but he used to say, “It didn't take.” Bob's lifelong love for cats began with his beloved Toby. In high school, Bob played chess and worked on the school newspaper. He was valedictorian of his class and got a full scholarship to the University of Chicago.

Young Adulthood: In college, Bob worked in the bookstore and enjoyed fencing. More to the point, he liked square dancing. His regular square-dance partner was a gregarious and artistic woman named Edith. Edith and Bob got married before they moved to Madison where he entered the U of Wisconsin PhD program. After he got his PhD in physics, Bob worked for General Electric. First the company sent him to Syracuse and then they sent him to Oklahoma City where he and Edith adopted their son, David. Bob turned down the next transfer GE offered. As a parent now, he needed more stability than moving every few years.  

Nuclear Physics Career: Bob's last move for decades was to New Jersey where he got a job as a civilian in the Army Research Lab at Fort Monmouth. He worked on its underground cobalt source for its radiation facilities. He also used Van de Graaff generators as accelerators to generate energetic particles and X-ray beams for low-energy nuclear radiation research. The first computers he worked on were old DOS mainframes. In order to program them, he learned several computer languages. Every year he would adjust to the latest computer models. Bob traveled all over the US presenting workshops and getting awards. He also won many patents. One of them was for a badge someone could wear to detect radiation.

First Marriage: Edith was Bob's social secretary, but Bob always tried his best to play along. Lots of their social life evolved around folk music. They participated in a regular folk singing group and attended folk camps and concerts. He and Edith didn't attend any religious services, although they would put up Christmas trees and eat latkes in December as Edith celebrated Passover as part of her Jewish upbringing. They were married for forty years. Some of their cat friends over these years were: Guppy, Gilgamesh, Chutzpah, Mike, and Hubris. Edith was loquacious and Bob was terse. She was talented and he was skilled. She was social and he was introverted. She was gifted and he was smart. After Bob and Edith had lived in New Jersey for decades, the Army Research Lab planned to relocate to Maryland. Edith and Bob decided he should retire early instead of moving, but Edith died unexpectedly leaving Bob alone with his books in his big, empty house.

Second Marriage: Bob realized being single did not suit him, but his social contacts had always come through his lab co-workers or his wife. No longer having either, what was he to do? Oh, he would be an early pioneer in computer dating, of course. He and Margaret wrote each other intellectual emails about social policy and history. When they finally met, they were delighted with how seamlessly they worked together on simple activities and how much they could learn from each other. Bob tended to choose his words carefully whereas Margaret tended to be more impulsive verbally. In 1999, they got married at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Monmouth County (UUCMC), beginning Bob's long journey into UUism. His UU friends now provided a new community for him and Margaret. Even though Dave lived in Chicago, Bob and Margaret were nonetheless excited when he and Liz provided them two grandsons, Max and Simon. 

Unitarian Universalism: Bob found Unitarian Universalists to be accepting of his agnosticism. He was on the Unitarian Universalist Ocean County Congregation (UUOCC) Board and edited its newsletter. In 2002, Bob and Margaret moved to Vallejo, California, in order to be closer to Margaret's daughter Marlo and Marlo's baby son Tivo. Once in California, Bob and Margaret joined the UU Fellowship of North Bay (UUFNB). Bob served as its treasurer. When many clueless newbies in the community reluctantly got their first personal computers, Bob became the congregation's official computer guru who helped them over their technological hurdles.  

Step-Families and In-Laws: In California, Bob and Margaret chose a house with a large deck and a place for Bob to garden in the back. They got to be active grandparents who could participate in Tivo's growth over the years. Bob continued to celebrate life's milestones with Margaret, Marlo and Tivo (who now goes by Julian). Bob was a steady presence even though he played a secondary role in the Kelso/Kindermann dynamic.

Before the pandemic broke out this year, Dave and his fiancée Jessica intended to get married in the summer on a cruise. It was obvious that Bob couldn't handle a cruise, though, so they arranged a simple family ceremony in Marin County in December, not realizing that COVID would make it their only ceremony. The couple's family includes his new daughter-in-law's three sons: Jake, Nate and Wyatt.

Gradual Decline: First Bob botched a chess game at the Senior Center. He got lost while he was driving. He had his cataracts removed and his knee replaced. He stopped gardening, stopped driving, stopped doing the taxes, stopped paying bills, stopped cooking and stopped taking out the trash. It was no surprise when Bob got his official Alzheimer's diagnosis in 2018. In 2020, he was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome, a bone marrow disease. As soon as he got this new diagnosis, he was moved into home hospice care, and Dave came from Chicago to Vallejo to help Margaret care for his father. Bob got weaker and weaker and slept longer and longer. He was never in any physical pain.


Surviving Family Members:

Margaret (Meg) Kelso – Bob's second wife
Dave Lux – Bob's son
Max & Simon – Bob's grandsons (Dave's sons from his first marriage)
Marlo (Mary) Kindermann - Bob's step-daughter (Margaret's daughter)
Julian (Tivo) Kindermann - Bob's step-grandson (Marlo's son)
Jessica Cummins – Bob's daughter-in-law (Dave's second wife)
Jake, Nate & Wyatt Cummins – Bob's step-grandsons (Jessica's sons)  



Recent stories
November 12, 2020
Bob's gentle presence within our NVUU congregation is missed.  He was a most special man.  My condolences to each of you who loved him so.
November 12, 2020
Bob was a sweet, wonderful man, who married my dear friend, Margaret Kelso. I sang, "Let it be a Dance" at their wedding and their life was, indeed, a sweet dance. I love you both.

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