INS conference dinner at the Vasa Museum in Stockholm.  Bob knew how to have fun!

We had just gotten our marriage license from the Pono Market in Kauai.  He was the love of my life, and I miss him every day.   Happy times.

As a pre-doctoral intern under Bob’s tutelage at OHSU I was quite frankly terrified of him. He’d return my apparently pathetic report attempts covered in red ink with such comments as, “Karla, you might want to think about reviewing  your High School grammar book.”  I first caught a glimpse into another side of Bob when, after a few days  of high pressure sales I was the only intern to buckle and “volunteer” to watch Molly-Bob for the weekend.  I was amazed to find my hard-nosed, tie-sporting supervisor living in a place filled with music, color, and several pieces of his own artwork. I was amazed to find a note on the counter stating, “by the way, Molly is in heat, here’s 5 bucks for your trouble.”  As hoped, my sacrifice yielded a just perceptible softening in our subsequent supervision sessions…but he still scared me.  When after a brief educational interruption for motherhood I decided to pursue post-doctoral training in neuropsychology, I came to know Bob in an entirely different manner. Not only as an incredibly supportive mentor, but as a much-valued friend.  Like an out-of-town relative who you only see once in a while, Bob would greet me warmly each year at INS and dive right into gathering every last detail about my life since we last met until he deemed us sufficiently all caught up. (The difference from the relative being, Bob always made me feel like he was genuinely interested.) From there would ensue several days of pure fun that left my stomach aching not as much from the requisite conference over-indulgences but the hours of pure belly laughs only Bob could inspire.  He was hilarious, brilliant, cranky (I was still just a wee bit scared of him), sensitive, and thoughtful. And for the last 10+ years his thoughts were clearly never far from Sarah. Bob apparently didn’t wholly succeed in curing me of my love for superfluous adjectives and run-on sentences but he taught me so much more- about being a clinician before a neuropsychologist and about life, balance, priorities and friendship. There is a tall, warm, toothy-grinned, ripped-sweatshirt-wearing hole in my heart.

One of my fondest memories of Bob is from INS in Sweden.  Roger and I went to Sweden with our two young girls for a trip that coincided with INS.  We did not know that Bob was going.  Getting off the subway in Stockholm. we hear a familiar voice and there is Bob with Sarah!  We ended up spending several days together and seeing some sights.  Bob was his usual "bad influence" on Roger and the two of them nearly got arrested arguing with a police officer over a parking issue in the peaceful country of Sweden.  

Another wonderful memory is that of meeting Bob at a NAN conference in Nashville. We enjoyed the music scene and met a neuropsychologist he was mentoring.  I was struck by the relationship he had developed with his coworker, giving so much guidance and support.  Bob was so dedicated to his field and to his patients.

Bob was the kind of person that you could see after a long period of absence and immediately connect with, as though no time had passed.  He was a dear friend and we will miss him so very much.  He made a contrubution to his field and to those fortunate people who knew him.

Lori Zaremski  

One of the many things I loved about Bob was his keen appreciation of humor. While not always having the most positive view of the world he always found the humor in it.  It is hard to be sad thinking about Bob even considering his stuggles over the last few years since nearly every moment we spent together we would end up cracking each other laughing.  The times come to mind of joking at a sushi bar, putting sea animals heads on our noses in Sweden ("Vasaaaah" - inside joke), cracking each other up in a conference lecture or just observing the humor in those around us.

While not the classic joke teller, Bob could easily find the humor in the hypocrital nature of some of the big wigs in our field of neuropsychology.  He was one of those people that just "got it" and found it humorous that so many other did not.

Looking back I can only think of good times with Bob.  From our days of cutting out of boring seminars to see afternoon movies during our post doctoral training years at UCLA to our time in Nashville,Tennesee hanging out at the Ryman ragging on those in attendence, I only recall fun and games.  Being in a bar in that decidely red state during the announcement of Obama's re-election was a treat (having to hide our glee from the red necks all around us).  He is one special friend that I will miss forever but the memories of his humor I will hold onto dearly for the rest of my life.

Bob always looked forward to meeting Sarah's students each year.  He so enjoyed picking a new book out to bring to the classroom to read to them. One that comes to mind is "Tulip Across America."  The students adore Sarah, so of course they loved meeting Bob. I enjoyed hearing about his selections so I could then add them to my classroom library.   The first grade students loved his last name Butler.  They are so young and immature that they'd say his name and giggle.  They imagined his name was Butt-ler and were thrilled to have the opportunity of saying a "naughty" word, butt. Ah, the joy of first graders.  

I'm a neuropsychology colleague of Bob's, and also work with children with cancer. Bob was always a wonderful mentor--available to answer questions or to help along his younger colleagues in their professional development.  He graciously shared some of his early cognitive rehabilitation materials for me to use.  He had been a very active participant in Children's Oncology Group (COG) and gave generously of his time mentoring early career researchers (myself included) and encouraging us in our efforts.  His concern and advocacy for childhood cancer survivors never waned. On a personal note, my mother met him at a conference for caregivers of persons with TBI and he was very warm and personable to her. My condolences to his wife and family. He has left big shoes to fill and will be greatly  missed.

Joy. That is what Bob brought to Sarah. I remember when Sarah told me she met Bob. My God, the smartest man ever. She was in awe of him when she would talk to me about him. Brilliant psychologist,not scared because she had three kids and crazy in love with him. I met Bob on a visit to see Sarah in Lake Oswego. We met at the home they shared - full of Bobs quirkiness, the dogs and Sarahs girly, girl stuff - a house full of estrogen. Sarah, so proud to introduce Bob to me. Bob, such a gentleman, looking at Sarah, my dear friend, with love and admiration. We talked about kids - sick kids, kids with serious health issues at dinner. Bobs passion and compassion for his field was very evident. But, most importanly,  Bob loved Sarah and for that, Bob, I loved you. Life was better because of Bobs gifts and passions. Bob made some incredible contributions to children and mental health but thank you most, Bob, for loving my dear friend so much and for bringing such joyful love into Sarahs life. The world is indeed a better place.

From 2001 to 2008 I am thankful for the 7 years of simple pleasures I shared with Bob & Sarah.
Those were the challenging girl teen years. I have fond memories searching for Sarah and tall Bob in a crowded gym, to sit side by side for hours, week after week, on those hard gym bleachers, cheering for our daughters, during school related activities.
 Bob was a great conversationalist, smart, witty and that voice ~ the accent, it was always enjoyable to share light-hearted stories as the hours flew bye. Faithfully he would take time from his work day, to be present and very supportive with ease. Yes
Bob was daily surrounded by females even the dogs were girls. He knew how to
get along and be fun.
          It is very sad news at 61 years young Bob is no longer with us.
Reflecting back on thoses 7 years it puts a smile on my face to have those precious parent timeline memories. A joyful reminder sharing special times with friends and family make beautiful memories for time passes so quickly.
Bob your are missed but never forgotton,
Lori Arneson