I think about my dad often. I tell stories to people in my life now that never got the chance to know him. While I’ve had a difficult couple of years with the embarrassment of losing my job as a police officer, I know my dad would have supported me emotionally and told me that my job shouldn’t have defined me as a person. He would tell me to look back on the experience of a twenty year career with pride. He would tell me that they were all “a bunch of assholes” that I worked with. We often talked about our careers as cops, sharing stories of our battles. Our battles weren’t always with the “bad guys”; many times we shared our battles with our co-workers. I seemed to follow in my dad’s footsteps in many ways. People either love my dad or hated him, I fell into that same envelope. While we both had many who thought we were charming, smart, charismatic and humorous (and humble lol), there were plenty who thought we were smug and arrogant. We liked to say those were the ones that just didn’t “get” us. We often laughed over our detractors and figured we would always rise above and that they would remain miserable. And as usual, he was right. I allowed my job define who I was for far too many years. I allowed the job dictate who I allowed into my tight circle. I gave up too many days of fun with friends and family so that I could be available for callouts. And while I did not have the chance to come to that decision on my own, I am grateful for the lesson. I used to run through life in a hurry, always feeling like I needed to accomplish more and more professionally. I now realize that was a mistake. I needed a reason to slow down and let more people into my life.
I have discovered a new set of friends who share my love of music and concerts. I met the love of my life. A wonderful man, Tony, who stuck with me through the hardest time in my life. He braved the worst of me to get to the best of me. I’m in a good place right now.
I know that I am strong because of the lessons my dad taught me about life while I was growing up. I knew that it was natural and okay to be sad and that I was in charge of my own happiness. I knew that there would always be “assholes” to deal with in life, but to never to become one. I miss you every day dad. I know I am who I am because of your love and devotion to us, your children. We always felt special and loved.

Bob invited me to stay at "Trail's End" (?) for the Jazz Festival in Port Townsend at Fort Worden. I brought my trumpet and got the invitation to "sit-in" with the great Bobby Shew, world renown jazz trumpet player. During the festival, while I was playing, Bob was approached by the woman in the photo , who happened to be on the board of the festival and wanted to know who I was. Well, Bob , being his charming self, Invited her and her friend to dinner at "Trail's End" where she could hear my CD, "Straight From the Heart."  As the photo reveals, she accepted the invitation. As it turns out, Bob only had some chicken in the fridge, for which they had a good recipe. They offered to prepare dinner, which was for the best. We enjoyed dinner with some of Bob's select wine , from Spain. The evening was a smash with my album playing, and some great conversation about jazz, Bob giving his famous tour of the premises. I remember making a toast at dinner, "to long lasting friendship", and sheading a tear. This photo is so appropriate to this occasion.

Ode to my Ole Mate Bob

I have to admit it has been a challenge writing this- and have attempted it several times before. Now that I have traveled from Spain to be with Bob’s children- my deep and longstanding friends since 1976- and, having sat a his own desk with a glass of red wine next to me, it is easier for this Englishman to pay homage to this wonderful man.

I remember very clearly the day I was introduced to Bob by my best mate Scott- his son. Bob- always engaging and welcoming- set about me with diverse questions, testing- what I felt was- my mettle. This was to form the foundations of a longstanding friendship with this powerful, generous and challenging man- but would also take the backdrop to our relationship. For although in later years we found more and more things in common, and I was fortunate to spend more time with him, and to receive his counsel and guidance- that was always unflinchingly and generously given when asked for. Though we must also admit that we rivalled in some areas- as would naturally be so for a patriotic Englishman and an Irish blooded American- but our differences always lasted minutes only. Even though he had many things very clear in life, I think it is also fair to say that there were some things he could not accept. We shared in many areas, from ideals, politics, humour, wine, cigars, whisky, food, travel, cars…and views on the female side of society. Indeed he recommended all of us- his boys- read The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar. Good grist for the mill in later years, even though we didn’t fully share his total enthusiasm for it’s contents.

Bob was a giant of a man in many ways- his handsome square features made him immediately attractive to most women and equally challenging to most men- his presence filled most rooms. Aided by a charming smile and easy tongue for conversation in whatever subject he fancied propelled him easily into most peoples high estimations. A tall six footer, he ambled with an easy gait that made him instantly recognizable. As we all know, though, not every weakling individuals warm to power, and he did have his detractors, as he knew too well, though he never seriously lamented this. Always sharp in intellect, he never lacked for conviction. Almost always argumentative and occasionally and apparently unfair, one soon realized that this was his tactic- as a stubborn Taurean, he would probe his opponents with phantom arguments- only to withdraw gracefully when  he knew he could push the point any further, with an easy laconic smile on his face. Some would find him infuriating and our conversations on Religion were a case in point- but there were many others- hell, he wouldn’t have all the answers, but he would damn well make out he had all the bases covered!

Whilst living in Seattle learning to fly helicopters, we spent quite a considerable time together enjoying the social life in the City and in South Bend where he had set up home. Later, we made fantastically memorable trips to Las Vegas and a five State trip in an open top white Mustang to discover these magical places that make the USA a fantastic place to visit. We marveled and argued, drank and eat, and felt alive in our travels. The memories of those wonderful times – and many others- are immortalized on my camcorder tapes. Visits to London, to my wedding, to my home in Spain, to parties in Spain with my friends, where he was always appreciated, admired- nay loved- contributed to his reputation for being jolly good fellow.

Years later, as his health began to fail, I made visits to him to see what he was up to and- of course- indulge in our intense and sometimes conflictive relationship. I remember with fondness taking him on a marvelous trip to see the coastal areas of Oregon and visiting the Evergreen Flight Museum- as I do the fun conversation we held a couple of days before his passing. We shared many enjoyable moments and visions together and I was glad to have spent some time with this wonderful man. And in my sadness I feel that the America I love is and respect is a little further away from me than before- I don’t know why. So I dedicate this poem to him:

I asked for strength….and God gave me difficulties to make me strong,

I asked for wisdom…and God gave me problems to solve, 

I asked for prosperity….and God gave me a brain and brawn to work,

I asked for courage….and God gave me danger to overcome,

I asked for love…and God gave me troubled people to help,

I asked for favours….and God gave me opportunities,

I got nothing I wanted…But I received everything I needed.

In his passing his family and friends are immeasurably poorer and will miss Bob tremendously- he was quite simply irreplaceable- one of a kind, a diamond of a man. Whilst we all suffer in our sadness, and miss him, we will ensure that his legacy lives on and shines bright- for my thoughts of him make me smile in my good fortune at having spent such good times with such a genuinely good man.

Thank the Lord for that- may Bob live forever in our memories and his lamented Soul rest in Peace!

Godspeed Bob…until we meet again.