This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Roger Holker, who died peacefully at home surrounded by his loved ones on February 24th, 2019 at 3:22pm.
Roger was a loving father, brother, uncle and grandfather. A man who got a chuckle out of everyone when he would say velcore because he couldn't say velcro, and always answered the phone with a "yellow," or when you would asked how he was doing he'd say, "Oh, fair to midland." That was my dad in a nutshell.
After battling stage 4 Colon Cancer that metastasized for many years, he passed away. He was a true fighter right to the very end.
When he was first diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the odds were against him, with doctors only giving him six months to a year to live, he chose to pursue treatment. Because of his strong will and determination to live, he beat it and went in to remission for 18 months. During his 18 month checkup, he was told that the cancer had returned and this time it was in his liver.
Over the next few years he continued trying different treatment options, which kept his cancer counts very low for a while. Despite all the treatments and surgeries he had undergone, the cancer travelled from his liver, to his lungs and eventually his liver began leaking fluids in to his stomach, which we were told by doctors that it meant his liver was shutting down and there wasn't anything treatment wise left to help him.
I created this website to honor my fathers memory. Without him and everything he did for our family, I wouldn't be the person I am today. He was the true definition of a warrior, father, provider and most of all, what it truly means to be courageous.
To look at my father you would have never known how much pain he was in because he didn't let it control his life. This was a man who looked death in its face and told him he wasn't ready to die, to come back some other time.
Roger took his role as a provider, and a father, seriously. He raised his children, but he also stepped up to help care for his wife's son David and her younger brother Denny and younger sister Lisa. He also played an active father role in all four of his grandson's life. If you asked him who their dad was, he would tell you that he was their dad, "I'm the only dad those boys have ever known," he would say.
He loved his grandkids deeply. They never wanted or needed for anything, he made sure they had it and he never missed any of their sporting events, scouts, awards ceremonies, school functions, whatever it may have been. He wanted to instill in them the importance of what it meant to be a dad and a man.
When my father was in his last days, and even though he was unconscious, he was aware. I remember when I whispered in his ear that it was ok to go if he had too, that I promised we'd be ok and that he didn't need to worry about his grandkids, tears filled his eyes. Not only was he aware but he was also the type of man who had to have the last word and of course he did. For an unconscious man, he sure made his opinions clear.
It broke my heart to say goodbye to my father. There would be no more calls, no more of him getting on my nerves , no more dad. I could always count on him and not to mention the huge impact he had in my childrens lives.
I had never seen my father cry until the day my mom died and he tried to save her but couldn't. It broke him. He sat there beside her on the floor crying and telling who ever would listen, that it should be him lying there and not her. That was the moment I understood what true love was and I knew then that my dad and mom would not separate for very long. That day changed all of our lives whether we were ready for it or not.
My father wasn't ready to go, but he was tired of hurting and he was missing my mom. He knew he was sick and it would only get worse. Death scared him; the unknown scared him.
Just before he took his last breath, I grabbed his hand and I told him I loved him. That's when I felt him squeeze my hand, something he hadn't been able to do for three days. I started to cry and he had tears in his eyes and then he took his final breath. I knew in that instance he was gone. There was no gasp, no long pause or drawn out breath, just a final breath. Even though it was a dark time in our lives, it was the most peaceful moment I had ever witnessed.
Roger leaving us to reunite with his lost loved ones brought on a heartache that will never go away. He will be truly missed more than he will ever know. Left with a void in our lives that can not be filled.
Although his passing makes us sad, we have to remind ourselves that he is no longer in pain and that he is free from worry. He is no longer lost. His death is not about us, rather the life he lived and the legacy he left behind. A part of him will live on inside all of us through the memories were made.
We will forever miss you dad! Love you.
"Every feather you will see, will be a message from me."
“There is no expiration date on the love between a father and his child.”
"There is no death; people only die when we forget them."