This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Roger Holker, who died peacefully at home surrounded by his loved ones on February 24th, 2019 at 3:22pm. 

 Roger was a loving father, brother, uncle and grandfather.   A man who got a chuckle out of everyone when he would say velcore because he couldn't say velcro, and always answered the phone with a "yellow," or when you would asked how he was doing he'd say, "Oh, fair to midland." That was my dad in a nutshell.

After battling stage 4 Colon Cancer that metastasized for many years, he passed away. He was a true fighter right to the very end.

When he was first diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the odds were against him, with doctors only giving him six months to a year to live, he chose to pursue treatment. Because of his strong will and determination to live, he beat it and went in to remission for 18 months.  During his 18 month checkup, he was told that the cancer had returned and this time it was in his liver.

Over the next few years he continued trying different treatment options, which kept his cancer counts very low for a while. Despite all the treatments and surgeries he had undergone, the cancer travelled from his liver,  to his lungs and eventually his liver began leaking fluids in to his stomach, which we were told by doctors that it meant his liver was shutting down and there wasn't anything treatment wise left to help him.

I created this website to honor my fathers memory. Without him and everything he did for our family, I wouldn't be the person I am today. He was the true definition of a warrior, father, provider and most of all, what it truly means to be courageous.

To look at my father you would have never known how much pain he was in because he didn't let it control his life. This was a man who looked death in its face and told him he wasn't ready to die, to come back some other time.

Roger took his role as a provider, and a father, seriously. He raised his children, but he also stepped up to help care for his wife's son David and her younger brother Denny and younger sister Lisa. He also played an active father role in all four of his grandson's life. If you asked him who their dad was, he would tell you that he was their dad, "I'm the only dad those boys have ever known," he would say.

He loved his grandkids deeply. They never wanted or needed for anything, he made sure they had it and he never missed any of their sporting events, scouts, awards ceremonies, school functions, whatever it may have been. He wanted to instill in them the importance of what it meant to be a dad and a man. 

When my father was in his last days, and even though he was unconscious, he was aware. I remember when I whispered in his ear that it was ok to go if he had too, that I promised we'd be ok and that he didn't need to worry about his grandkids, tears filled his eyes. Not only was he aware but he was also the type of man who had to have the last word and of course he did. For an unconscious man, he sure made his opinions clear. 

It broke my heart to say goodbye to my father. There would be no more calls, no more of him getting on my nerves , no more dad. I could always count on him and not to mention the huge impact he had in my childrens lives.

I had never seen my father cry until the day my mom died and he tried to save her but couldn't. It broke him. He sat there beside her on the floor crying and telling who ever would listen, that it should be him lying there and not her. That was the moment I understood what true love was and I knew then that my dad and mom would not separate for very long. That day changed all of our lives whether we were ready for it or not. 

My father wasn't ready to go, but he was tired of hurting and he was missing my mom. He knew he was sick and it would only get worse.  Death scared him; the unknown scared him.

Just before he took his last breath, I grabbed his hand and I told him I loved him. That's when I felt him squeeze my hand, something he hadn't been able to do for three days. I started to cry and he had tears in his eyes and then he took his final breath. I knew in that instance he was gone. There was no gasp, no long pause or drawn out breath, just a final breath. Even though it was a dark time in our lives, it was the most peaceful moment I had ever witnessed.

Roger leaving us to reunite with his lost loved ones brought on a heartache that will never go away. He will be truly missed more than he will ever know. Left with a void in our lives that can not be filled.

Although his passing makes us sad, we have to remind ourselves that he is no longer in pain and that he is free from worry. He is no longer lost. His death is not about us,  rather the life he lived and the legacy he left behind. A part of him will live on inside all of us through the memories were made.

We will forever miss you dad! Love you.

"Every feather you will see, will be a message from me."

“There is no expiration date on the love between a father and his child.”

"There is no death; people only die when we forget them."

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Roger's History

Roger was born in his family home to Maudie Bell and Orville Holker on March 12th, 1948.

He passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by his loved ones on February 24th, 2019. He was a few weeks shy of his 71st birthday.

 James Richard Holker, June Bell Holker and Cheri Marie Holker. 

His children: David Coe Holker, Susan Holker, Melissa Holker and Roger J. Holker. 

Roger was a salesmen for most of his career. He retired in August of 2000 from a cigar company soon after, he was diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer. 

Recent stories

Three years

February 24, 2022
Three years ago today we had to say goodbye. A day that changed everything. It's sad that it takes a death to make you realize and appreciate what you have in life. It makes you reflect on all the little things and the importance of those experiences. There hasn't been a single day go by that I wished I could have done things differently or said I love you or appreciate you just a little more often. I've accepted that you are gone but you will never be forgotten. I also know that regardless of how much time passes, it doesn't get any easier. It still hurts just as much as it did the day you left. I still need you just as much of it more. You made things so much more easier and without you I feel so lost. I hope you know I will always keep your memory alive and never stop loving and missing you. I may not be perfect and do some stupid shit, but I know that you will always be there watching over me and the kids. I love you dad and hope you are resting in peace. 

One year of tears

February 21, 2020
Today marks the Friday when my dad took a turn for the worse and two days before we had to say goodbye.
All the firsts have come and gone and it still hurts as bad as it did the day he died. I can't tell you how many times I had begged God to let me have one more day with both my parents. I don't think there has been a day I  haven't cried.  
I know I am grown and at times I feel silly for missing him so much and crying so much but he was my dad and he was always there for me boys matter what and he was there for my boys for everything. He was such a big part of my life and losing him changed everything. It's not even so much how much it changed my life but the fact that it hurt so bad to see him suffer. He was so old fashioned and no matter how he felt he never let on how sick and in pain he was because he didn't want to miss out on being there for the boys. He didn't want to disappoint them. 
I wish that I could get through to kids and adults the importance of being thankful and more appreciative of their parents and not to get so annoyed or angry with them, to just let it go because regardless of what they may say or do, it doesn't matter because their your parents. They were the first to love you, to hold you when you were sick, cry with you, celebrate with you. The first to tell you how beautiful you are, to give you money and not expect anything in return, to teach you to walk and talk and so much more. All those things outweigh anything bad. I wish that I had only realized all that a lot sooner. It's easy to forget what they do for us and we get so consumed in ourselves that we forget that without them, we wouldn't be where we are. 
I remember how tired I got taking care of my dad because caring for an adult who cant care for themselves is so much more harder than caring for a child. Regardless of how hard it was, I did it and I'd do it again. That's what love is and that's what they did for me. I can only imagine how difficult it was for my dad to lay there and have to depend on his daughter for total care because his body no longer worked. My father was the provider; the one you depended on and yet now here's this man who went in the matter of hours from being a 70 year man to a man to who couldn't walk, talk, use the restroom alone or even know how to hold a cup. Thank God his mind didn't allow him to comprehend how he was to save him from the embarrassment.  
As hard as this first year has been for all of us it does bring me peace to know that he is free of cancer and I know that the love he had for us was so strong that he will always be with us watching over us and that when our time comes, that I will see him again. My only hope is that if you take away anything from this that it's to appreciate and love your parents even more. To work on your self to keep from getting so annoyed or upset because it's those little annoyances or nagging moments that we remember the most, not in a bad way because when you think back to those moments later on it usually brings a smile or chuckle with it. Theres nothing in life worth missing out on making memories or spending time with tyour loved ones because they won't always be here and regret is a horrible feeling to have hanging over your head for the rest if your life. 

Christmas 2019

December 23, 2019
Christmas is only a few days away. The one holiday dad wanted just one more of. 

I know the holiday traditions have to carry on but they just aren't quite the same. I find myself thinking about him constantly and mom too. My children haven't mentioned my parents for a while now and all of a sudden one is having dreams about him and the other talks in his sleep asking if he is going to grandpas house.

It breaks my heart that they feel this loss. I tell the boys its ok that they are having these dreams because it means that grandpa is thinking about them or that he is letting them know he will always be watching over them. I said that this was the only way grandpa could let them know since we can't see him.

Loss is painful to those left behind because it changes everything. If only people would learn sooner to cherish their loved one's, the grief wouldn't be so bad. We forget that our parents are the reason we made it this far in life, that they gave up so much for us so we didn't have to go without. They were the ones who took care of us when we couldn't care for ourselves.

We owe it to our parents to step up and take care of them as they get older. It doesn't matter if they are grumpy or whatever, they have earned that right. We don't know half of what they went through in life. We forget that as they are aging, diseases or disabilities take control of the minds and bodies and they can't help what it does to them.

Love your parents and honor them while you can. They didn't turn their backs on you when you were unruly as a teenager or even as a child. Parents are just that, parents. Not your friend or slave and they sure as hell don't owe a child anything in life.

My point to all of this is, life without my parents is hard. I never realized how much they did for me or how important they were to my children. Now I have to do everything without them and its tough. I wish I would have shown my appreciation for them more. 

The holidays bring about all this sadness and pain because those are times when family comes together. 

This will be the first without either of my parents. I don't know how to celebrate without them, but I have to figure it out and I will. I believe that my parents will be with us Christmas Day and I believe that we will feel their presence somehow. That's what gets me through the toughest times in my life. My faith and beliefs are what brings me comfort.

Merry Christmas everyone. 


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