It is said that the two most important dates in a person’s life are the date one was born, and the date of one’s death. Separating the two dates is a dash—what does that dash stand for? If two dates are the bookends of one’s life, then the book itself, or the content of the pages of the book are what gives significance to the book itself. It’s what determines whether a book becomes a bestseller or not.
To write a book about kuya Romy’s life is a daunting task even for the best of authors. Kuya Romy was the epitome of James 2:18—Someone might say, “You have faith, but I have deeds.” Show me your faith without doing anything, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
Looking back, God knew what he was doing when I was sent to First Filipino-American United Methodist Church as my first appointment back in 1986. What a distinct privilege it was to work closely with kuya Romy—a layperson that every local church ought to have! I may have been the younger person, but he had the fire, the ideas, and the stamina to get things done. He had the charisma; he had a way with people that brought them together to collaborate, which was no easy thing in a congregation that had some real strong personalities.
Kuya Romy kept it simple. The Bible says in James 2:8-9, This royal law is found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” If you obey this law, you are doing right. But if you treat one person as being more important than another, you are sinning. You are guilty of breaking God’s law.
Kuya Romy organized our elderly members for fellowship, for outings, for road trips. I remember borrowing a 15-seat van owned by First UMC Los Angeles from the Rev. Fink. We used it to take the seniors on a road trip to Santa Barbara.
Kuya Romy, a social worker by training, was a walking resource center. He helped new immigrants secure their social security card, first job, first car, first dwelling, etc. He took them to the public clinic, connected them with Filipino doctors. He showed them how to use public transportation. He was the public transportation majority of the time. He and ate Rosie opened their home as a temporary shelter, as a feeding center, and when Pabling used to live with them, even as an auto repair shop helping countless folks who otherwise could not afford to have the necessary repairs done to their vehicles.
Kuya Romy and ate Rosie were part of an all-church effort that orchestrated the wedding of Brenda and I on June 25, 1988 at Covina UMC. In fact, he was one of our ninongs. This union produced three children—Katerina, Julian, and Pauline, and two grandkids—Caden Joel (3) and Malia Angeline (9 months), by Katerina and our son-in-law Jape Cadlaon. Rosemarie is one of Katerina’s ninangs. Rose Lynn is one of Julian’s ninangs.
I can go on and on. But I cannot possibly capture the full significance of kuya Romy’s life. It is too much a task to place upon one person. The author of the epistle of James writes in chapter 2, verse 23—"Abraham believed God, and God accepted Abraham’s faith, and that faith made him right with God.” And Abraham was called God’s friend. (James 2:23)
No higher honor can be accorded to anyone than to be called a friend of God. Kuya Romy was a friend of God.
In closing, I’d like to share a poem by Linda Ellis entitled, “The Dash.”
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?
Kuya Romy, you have all the reasons to be proud! We love you!