A year ago today... seems so long and yet so recent.

Everyday we find ourselves wishing he was here to tell us one of his silly jokes; explain about something no one else seems to know except him; to ask for technical assistance on our darn computers or the password to something; to see his wonderful smile or raised eyebrow; to hear him play guitar with Katy and sing us a song; to watch him wiz through crossword puzzles; to watch Regis and Kelly in the morning over a lovely cup of coffee; to work on projects around the house or in our garden;  to watch him be silly with his granddaughters; or to just sit quietly and enjoy his calm, loving presence. We have these and so many other memories to give us strength in the days, months, and years to come. We see his touch in everything and his smile all day long. And really, there is a certain crow that seems to show up at the most unusual moments….

I just learned about Russ’ passing on FaceBook. We had become “friends” again in recent years. I have known Russ—or rather Rusty, as he was called back then – since the 4th grade when he moved to Camp Hill. I remember him and his family from both school and the country club, which our families both frequented.

Rusty was always very different from most of the other boys – he was much more mature and got over the “girls as cooties” thing much earlier. He actually was one of the first boys to have a girlfriend—a very pretty girl named Vicki Ryder. I think that may have been short-lived. But he was always popular and sought after by girls for his good looks and charm—even then. For some reason, I valued his friendship and never saw him as “boyfriend” material. He was just fun to be around and great to talk to about anything.

I particularly remember 6th grade— in Mr. Berner’s class. It was the year after John Kennedy was shot. The space thing was big. There was a group of boys who built “rocket ships” which they raced around the town of Camp Hill on Saturdays. Each week was a different launch – and always, only boys were allowed to be the “pilots”. They really didn’t want girls involved, but Rusty was always pretty cool and kind to the excluded girls – at least he was to me and made me feel somehow better. I remember hanging out at each others houses and talking about the world – as much as 12 year olds could.

We knew each other through junior/senior high school (in Camp Hill, the school was 7th to 12th grade) and we hung out with many of the same kids. As we got older, we became the hippie group, the ones that protested Viet Nam and had sit-ins to allow us to wear pants (for girls) and then to wear blue jeans. But I remember Rusty went away to a private school. I remember missing him being at school. I think I saw him again when we were seniors when I was making plans with some of those “rocket ship boys” to get a VW bus and travel around the US after graduation and out to California. I think Rusty may have even been a part of that plan. That never happened. We all went off to college.

We lost touch. I often wondered what happened to him over the years. I had looked for him on occasion, wanting to just say hello to an old friend again.

It is interesting that our lives must have paralleled on occasion. After graduating from Penn State, I went on to San Francisco where I met my husband in 1977—around the time Russ met Lynn, it seems. We married in San Francisco in 1979 and lived there for most of 22 years, then moved on to Carmel for seven years, and then Fresno. We both have one daughter, ours was born a few year’s earlier, in 1984 (no grandchildren as yet). I wish our paths had crossed again. It would have been fun to meet up and get to know each other’s spouses and children.

Russ and I first met in 1977 at Thunderbird - over 32 years ago.  Lynn and Russ were an “item” even then. We were like the 3 musketeers back then on campus and later living together in Mexico together.  I had the honor to be best man for Russ & Lynn's wedding. Even then, when you think of soul mates or those folks fated to be together- I always thought of Russ and Lynn.  And I know Russ thought how lucky he has been to have Lynn as his wife, partner and best friend. He always thought he got the better part of that deal.
 
We remained friends after graduation, with Russ in Rochester and later in their first CA apartment in Menlo Park and later in Cupertino and San Diego. There are casual friends and there are deep, abiding friendships that mean everything in one's life. Russ was one of the latter - the kind that make all the difference in the world. Russ got me my first tech job by going to his boss and vouching for me. That simple act of faith from Russ led to my career in technology and to my relocation to California. I owe much of my success to Russ as a friend and mentor because Russ  was always there to help someone else out.  And that was just Russ, he always made the other person feel more special than himself. Which just made Russ himself more special.
 
Russ was a tremendous teacher on the value of being a good human being - it was a rare moment when Russ said a negative thing. For him the glass was always full. Even in fighting his disease, Russ always spoke of it as an inconvenience or something that had to be overcome. And for Russ, it was also about love his family, for the apple of his eye, Katie, and then for Charlie that gave him the will to push back on his disease. Few men have to overcome and fight so much to be with his loved ones – Russ did that for 15 years,since he was diagnosed in 1996. Russ set goals to be there for Katy and later on for Charlie – all out of love. Just remember Russ's Mohawk haircut, that he did with and for Katy – to get a sense of both his ability to laugh at himself and his love for Katy.
 
I'll always remember Russ for his sense of adventure, abiding curiosity, quirky sense of humor and ability to be passionate about so many things. He loved the unique nature of life - his collection of Mexican dog statues, cool old movies like “The Good the Bad and the Ugly” and interesting music like George Thorogood "Bad to the Bone”,Tom Waits and his favorite “More than a Feeling” by Boston, technology like his red Audi Quattro and the endless electronic gadgets --- Russ always made it interesting. One thing for sure, you would never be bored around Russ.
 
In the end, I'll remember him for his perseverance. Most of us get upset because we lose our keys or our cell phones. Russ stayed positive while they were taking parts of his body and living in pain. Russ was strong and wise like a 100 year old  oak tree that has survived many storms. Russ never mentioned how bad things were for him  - I only got the inkling of it from Lynn and from the times we tried to get together where he just could not.
 
Let me share one last memory of Russ.  I was coming to visit him in mid April when Lynn called me in Mexico City to tell me that Russ was near the end of his time with us. I spoke to Russ via phone from Mexico - russ could  speak in a whisper I told him of memories like driving with him in intense Mexico City traffic in the 70’s, his passion for Latin America, of life with him while sharing a house in Guadalajara together, and driving back to Thunderbird from Mexico with Russ when we lost our map in the middle of the countryside.  I told him that his friendship has been and always will be special to me as it is for us who gathered here today to celebrate his life.
Russ  will live on in our hearts and never be forgotten. Russ  is out there now smiling down on us with his russ smile and making others feel special through his memory.