Last week was Aunt Ruth's birthday and the second anniversary of her passing. Sometimes, it seems longer and sometimes, it's as if we came back yesterday from New Zealand to the voice mails from the Saugerties NY Detective.  Those first few days are still a bit of a blur.  The police wouldn't release her documents because of an earlier incident at the cottage and we fumbled trying to figure it all out.  It was extremely upsetting to know a family member was unclaimed in the morgue - so we immediately focused on providing Aunt Ruth with a proper burial.  We were fortunate that Aunt Ruth's close friend knew in which cemetery Julia and Hans Bornemann were buried.  And, so we arranged to bury Aunt Ruth with her parents.  Knowing of her love of all things animals and nature, we chose to read the Prayer of St Francis at her graveside service.  It was a damp and overcast day with some rain sprinkles, but while the priest was speaking, the clouds parted and the sun shined on the cemetery.  It's a scene that will always stay with us.

Just before Christmas that year, Aunt Ruth's dear friends held a lovely memorial service in her honor at a quaint church in Woodstock.  It was very touching to see the small circle of loving friends and neighbors pay their respects and share special moments of their times with Ruth.  And, we were honored to have been invited and learn more about her humanity and kindness towards others.  

At this time of year, we remember her most.  Ruth, Aug and I all share October birthdays.  At the time she passed, she was making out birthday cards to us as we found them on her kitchen table with her calendar and pictures of Wheaten Terriers and Collies.  We had mailed her birthday card from New Zealand as we knew she'd get a kick of the card traveling so far!  

With the leaves changing and acorns falling, we are reminded of her beautiful Thanksgiving tablescapes - done with such artistic vision and creative touches.  They were always so beautiful - and it was something that was mentioned at her memorial service.  She so enjoyed the holidays and delighted in creating things for others.  In her Thanksgiving card to us in 2011, she wrote of attending a large Thanksgiving gathering with good friends at the Mill.  She was also very reflective - "missing those we have lost makes it very bittersweet - family really tugs at the heartstrings this time of year".  Aug's dad passed in June 2011 and her cards that fall hint at a sadness for past times and memories, especially with her parents and Augie & Waltraute. So, we are very glad that her last Thanksgiving was a happy one.

The weather today in Saugerties reminds us very much of the week in which she was laid to rest.  Because of the rain and fog, the natural light wasn't great for pictures - but I know she would have remarked at the "fire" in this beautiful maple tree just down the road from her cottage.

 

The journey regarding Aunt Ruth's estate has come with blessings, challenges and many acts of kindness.  It has been very clear these past few months that there have been angels supporting and assisting Aunt Ruth through the years - and angels at work even as we continue to make decisions for the family.  

Based upon the notes, cards, letters and pictures that Aunt Ruth kept, we know she cherished those closest to her over the years - family, friends and neighbors.  It has been an honor for August and I to spend time meeting and speaking with those that Aunt Ruth considered part of her "inner circle" over the years.  There are also those we have met around town who knew Aunt Ruth casually, but she left an impression and often a kind word or gesture.  We have learned stories about the kindness of her neighbors and her neighbors' parents relationships with her parents - generational stories to be passed down.  And, there was a very small circle of special women who she seemed most fond of in later years.  We are grateful that she found comfort and companionship close to the home she chose after her mother passed; and then after Waltraute passed.

While she clearly remained fiercely independent and very much in control, there are glimmers that she allowed some to help her in very specific ways.  Her calendars are like time capsules - daily routines, outings, etc. spelled out very carefully and with very clear intent. 

However, what continues to challenge us at times is a quest for better understanding as to why she seemed to pull back somewhat from some family, friends and neighbors her last two years.  The calendar isn't as complete or full, the notes and cards to others are alittle more staggered - and in a number of cases, evidence of outright rejection of support or help from those who she previously allowed to help.  There did continue to be a constant stream of cards and notes from those who crossed her life over the years (which she all kept) - and we hope she truly felt and embraced the imprint she left on others.  Many people were open to her, yet we've learned she remained extremely private and shared little back.

As Aug continues to make decisions around her belongings and property, we continue to meet angels willing to lend support and/or help.  It's a very difficult line to walk as we guard her privacy, but still need to provide some information as decisions need to be made.  

I think there have been some very clear signs to guide us.  Aug, the ever pragmatist, scoffs at this notion.  For example, we were challenged finding an appraiser to review the artwork she collected.  Through a connection, we found someone to call.  When he answered the phone, he asked if we could hold on a minute as he was standing in "Bread Alone".  As we waited, I got goose bumps as this was a much frequented spot for Aunt Ruth in Woodstock.  She mentioned it frequently over the years and would bring goodies down to August's parents in NJ from there.  She knew the staff well and some people who left over the years still corresponded with her.  

There have been a number of these things of late - call them coincidence or happenstance, but it seems as if there's been quiet guidance or signs to pave a path through her estate.  Perhaps, it's just comfort for us on the days when the decisions seem hardest.  We scratch our heads, as do others, that a person who kept such copious notes for herself - and had a veritable time capsule of notes and letters from others appears to have decided not to document her final wishes.   Because she appears to have been very intentional in her actions til the end, this remains the biggest mystery of all.

Today's picture is of the beautiful birch tree Aunt Ruth could clearly view from her kitchen table.  

Since we've been spending time at Aunt Ruth's, we have been cautioned by the neighbors to be mindful of the big brown bear that roams the area.  Until this week, we've never seen him/her up close and personal - but now we have!  He/she was much less impressed with us than we were of him/her.  We heard some branches snap and looked through the ferns amd pine trees off in the distance - and there it was standing up on its hind legs and looking around.  He/she then went down on all fours and ever so slowly walked away - never even looked over at us.

This week, we've added some more pictures of the cottage as it looks today - along with the views of the back.  The trees and foliage have definitely grown alot since the early days.  The dogwood in the front needs to be pruned, but we have been cautioned by a neighbor (whose background is Native American Indian) that's its the wrong season - and we need to wait til fall.

We've continued to make progress the past 2 weeks on sorting, organizing and handling items from Aunt Ruth's cottage.  We will continue to provide updates soon.

It's been another productive week at Aunt Ruth's and we were able to handle a few more donations.

Most importantly, the plumber came to fix the well pump as there was no water to the home for the past few weeks.  We are very happy to report it was an easy fix and once again water flows in the cottage!

Most trips, we visit the cemetery nearby to pay our respects to Aunt Ruth and her parents.  It's a small cemetery, set on a slope off Route 212.  It is surrounded by lovely trees and sloping hills.  The names on the gravestones represent many of the older family names in the surrounding communities and its a very peaceful setting.

We found at least 8 - 10 pairs of eyeglasses around the cottage and we donated them to the Saugerties Lions Club.  They have a drop off box at the Saugerties Public Library.

We were also able to take Aunt Ruth's used art supplies to the Woodstock Art School.  They graciously accepted 2 boxes of art supplies, brushes, paper, etc and 2 baskets of used acrylic paints.  We know Aunt Ruth would be pleased for eager, young art students to carry on with her passion and the "tools" of her trade!

We came across a number of well worn planters around the cottage - of various materials, sizes and condition.  After a few inquiries, we decided to donate 2 boxes of them to the Ulster Greene ARC Program in Kingston.  ARC is a private, not for profit agency founded in 1956 and offers customized support for intellectually and developmentally challenged individuals.  Their mission is to offer these individuals opportunities to live and work in their community and experience full lives.  Through them, we learned about the Green Thumbs Plant Care ARC program which is a dedicated group of individuals who cultivate their own plants, use donated and recycled containers and gather many of the stones, twigs, etc. to create fairy gardens, plant dishes, etc. which are offered for sale.   They have a store front on Wall Street in Kingston and we were very proud to donate the planters in Aunt Ruth's honor.  They were very excited to receive the donation and it was a good day!

Now that there's some breathing space in the cottage, we have been able to better appreciate the beauty and serenity of the property - and enjoy the views and solitude.  We can definitely appreciate Aunt Ruth's decision to leave her home in NJ and make her parent's home her own in later years, even though there were hardships for her choosing to live in such a secluded location. 

For an artist and nature lover, the setting could not be more bucolic.  Sometimes, as I walk around, I see a young deer prancing around the stream.  In recent weeks, I have been feeling alittle better and I have begun tending the gardens which had fallen into some neglect.  I'm sharing a pic of the front the cottage taken yesterday.  We are fortunate that the neighbor has a grass cutting business and he's been helping to keep up with the mowing.  He and his entire family have been very gracious towards us - and they keep an eye on the home, along with several other neighbors when we can't be there ourselves.  The rainy weather of recent weeks has been a concern for the area, but Aunt Ruth's cottage is up a bit on a slope which is good.  

While Aug's parents were still in NJ, Aunt Ruth usually came down to NJ for visits and holidays, so I had only seen the cottage with Aug's mom a few times.  Aunt Ruth loved to visit local mansions and historic sites during the Christmas holidays, and we had the chance to visit them with her over several years.

When Aug and I relocated back to NJ, we asked to visit Aunt Ruth on a number of occasions.  As you know, Aunt Ruth could be set in her ways and we would not visit without an invitation. In recent years, she explained she didn't want to make the trip down to NJ.  The sad thing is we would have welcomed the trip up - and thinking how many times we have made the trip since she passed makes us miss her stories and witty remarks that much more.  We do still cherish her notes which slowed in later years.  Losing both of August's parents in a few years was devastating to us - and I don't know that Aunt Ruth fully appreciated that SHE was our connection to Waltraute's life, history and family.  But, we are where we are and we continue to do our best to respect her privacy and property - and make the best decisions we can to honor her memory.  

Next on the list will be to meet with art appraisers who are familiar with Woodstock artists as Aunt Ruth was definitely a supporter of the local art enclaves.  We will continue to provide updates here so you can all keep along with things.

It has been a challenging journey getting to this point with Aunt Ruth's estate.  When Aug was named administrator in late April 2014 by the court, we were able to begin the process of going through Aunt Ruth's belongings.  The tiny cottage contains not only many things from Ruth's parents, but also a literal wall of boxes in the garage of all the things she brought to Saugerties from her home in New Jersey in 1990.  It has taken Aug and me a number of trips to Saugerties and more garbage bags than we can count to begin to make some headway.  Aunt Ruth was a very clean person, but it is apparent in recent years that the clutter, papers and recycling began to overtake her and her home.  We've started by shredding years of statements and non essential documents scattered around the cottage.  We then began removing many empty jars, containers, plastic bags and magazines/newspapers.  Our next step was to go through each of the boxes piled in the garage.  Unfortunately, after 24 years of sitting against damp walls - most of the boxes were wet and moldy.  Most of the dishes and figurines could be salvaged.  The books and wood items were almost a total loss.  This past Tuesday, we made 3 car trips to the local Transfer and Recycling Center to remove the last of the garbage from the property.  Our next step will be to catalog her artwork, collectibles, china, figurines, furniture and vintage items.  We will then bring in appraisers.  Our attorney has been instrumental in providing guidance and suggestions as to how to tackle all this.

We also received this week from the Saugerties Police Aunt Ruth's personal effects which were held since the time of her passing.  Going through her papers was a very difficult and emotional process for us the other night.  Aunt Ruth was so private - and we always respected her privacy, as did Aug's parents.  So, to actually go through her things, her closets and her drawers is somewhat unnerving for us.  We know it needs to be done, but it's still difficult.  I'm sure you can all imagine her things are folded just so, and each drawer has a small bar of a fine handsoap - so everything has the scent I associate most with Aunt Ruth - a slight and delicate flowery hint.  We have  also found several wrapped Christmas presents for Aug's dad, Aug and me, but we still can't bring ourselves to open them.

We were able to donate her worn (and nicely smelling) clothing to the local Goodwill charity in Kingston.  We donated her well worn linens and towels to the South Peak Animal Hospital; and we donated some small wicker baskets to Happy Tails Animal Rescue.  We plan to donate her used art supplies to the local art school in Woodstock.  We also will be able to donate her canned and jarred good that have not expired to the local food pantry in Woodstock.  By donating some of Aunt Ruth's items to local organizations in need, we feel her personal values are respected and she would approve that we were able to help others in need in her area on her behalf.  

It's not just difficult physical work, but it's also taxing from an emotional perspective.  We have come across things we gave to Aunt Ruth as gifts along the years.  She saved many cherished notes from dear family and friends.  Finding notes written by Aug's mom  Waltraute are particularly touching.  She loved beautiful things and fine things and we know how difficult certain times in her life have been.  She struggled financially and we hope she found some comfort in those things from her parents and nature.  

Aug and I have now been responsible for settling several family estates and it never gets easier.  Years of memories, travels and daily life.....  We find some peace from knowing others can now enjoy, use and benefit from many of these items.    

We will continue to use this site to provide updates on our progress - and will share pictures of her artwork.