Missing you
February 25, 2019
Its been 2 months since Ryan passed away. To lose someone so close to you... its incredibly painful...
This is what grief looks like:
-Buying multiple boxes of kleenex at a time...all the time, knowing I'll need it.
- Putting my clothes away and finding shreds of said kleenex because it got washed & dried in my pockets.
-And then finding a random sock of his.
-Crying to sleep nightly, in the shower, doing the dishes, driving, hearing a particular song... anywhere.
-Staring at his stuff in the fridge daily, can't get rid of it.
-Wearing his clothes because it makes me feel close to him.
-Wondering what I should do with the rest of his ashes I have.
-Missing him so much its physically painful.
-Waking up every morning wishing it was all a bad dream, then reliving that pain of losing him all over again daily.
-Sleeping is my favorite thing to do because that's where I can see him.
- Knowing that the pain and loss is a reflection of love, I will never regret loving him with all I had.