Sabrina-   

Not an anniversary to commemorate, but this will be ten years to the day you passed. I still can’t believe the events of this day in 2013 happened. In some ways, the numbness never truly disappeared. The morning, still etched in my brain . . . still, so many questions unanswered. I still question the ‘What if I had known you were struggling?’, ‘What if I investigated what was happening earlier?’, ‘What if I had called for help earlier, would you still be with us?’, ‘What if we helped you on Saturday?’, ‘ What if . . . . .’. The list goes on and on, my heart just breaks. On top of it all, I still question, ‘Why were you taken from us?’. No answers!!!! I’m just left wondering and dealing with the unknowns.

I found a poem that truly describes what I went through on December 1, 2013 . . . .

The death of a spouse or partner is different than other losses, in the
sense that it literally changes every single thing in your world going
forward. When your spouse dies, the way you eat changes. The way
you watch TV changes. Your friend circle changes (or disappears
entirely). Your financial status changes. Your job situation changes.
It effects your self-worth. Your self-esteem. Your confidence. Your
rhythms. The way you breathe. Your mentality. Your brain functions.
(Widow/Widower Brain?) If you don’t know, consider yourself, lucky.
Your physical body. Your hobbies and interests. Your sense of
security. Your sense of humor. Your sense of individuality.
EVERY. SINGLE. THING. CHANGES.
You are handed a new life that you never asked for and that you
don’t particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific,
life-altering of things to live with.

Please know that I’m not trying to ‘blame-you’ or minimize your passing, just knowing that a part of my soul is gone and the process I have gone through as I engaged in this emotional transition. I would like to believe that if you were present to this day, we have weathered the storm, continued to experience life together, and plan look forward into the horizon as a couple. From day I met you (August ’95), I had hoped we were to become soulmates, which did come true, and will never depart. On our wedding day, I pledge to our lives forever . . . spiritually, that never changed to this day. I have always loved you, will continue to do so until my time expires. Nothing will ever destroy that feeling, you’re always within my heart!

It's true, hard to believe, Bryce is a FRESHMAN in high school. I challenged him this year with his course load. He is taking 2 AP classes, 3 Honors classes, and 1 Dual- Credit class. Yes, I know, why am I exposing our child to a schedule that is unnecessary. Well, your child aspires to attend a top-notch college and they will need high-end classes for him to demonstrate his abilities. This is the way to go . . . . I’m proud of his tenacity and he has been hard at work demonstrating his abilities to be laser focus and succeeding. Bryce has currently produced 5 As and a B+ thus far. I’m sure you would be proud of his work ethic and ability to match the challenges of a rigorous schedule. In fact, these courses is the result of Bryce maintaining straight A’s in junior high school. When he graduated from Keller Jr. High School, he was one of 20 students (graduating class of approximately 300 students) to obtain this honor. A truly outstanding feat in my book!

His course work includes AP Human Geography, Ap Computer Science, Honors/Accelerated Algebra 2, Honors English, Honors Biology, Native-Speaking Hispanic (Dual-College Credit), and Wellness. As I mentioned above, he has been working hard and putting in the time to do his best. The only problem with that, is I’m trying to help him understand that he also needs to be involved in high school life through a club or activity. A work in progress, but I hope to have a break-through moment sometime this school year. Either case, I know he is working hard, and he continues to impress me with his intellect daily.

Speaking of talents, Bryce has continued to produce on the field. He played travel ball with Northwest Travelers – 14U and his team consisted of hard-working ballers.  Sure, there were times when they didn’t look their best, but other times they really shinned. For instance, they were playing in a tournament in Freeport (being the #7 seed), they ousted the #1 seed in bracket play, ousted the #3 seed in bracket play, and almost made it to the Championship game. It was a sight to behold. Also, the team did well in the out-of state tournament, Grand Rapids, MI, producing some solid play and working through some talented teams in bracket play. Unfortunately, things didn’t pan-out in the end, the team worked hard and left it out on the field. Lastly, the team did an amazing job in Divisional Playoffs (higher bracket, #8 seed), ousting the #9 seed, #4 seed, and the #1 seed to be an inning away from being a part of the Championship game. Sure, there were many high and lows with the season, but our son improved throughout the season, too. He was nominated for MVP honors in a tournament, his second consecutive year for this honor. Bryce opted out of playing in the MVP festivities this year, but the acknowledgment of back-to-back years is amazing.

His play at first base produced many memorable moments throughout the season. Bryce has continued to learn the game, be observant, and produced some astounding ball movement to garner outs all over the field. He also has dabbled in the outfield and provided a huge asset in the defense for his team. Though, his biggest continued passion and focus has been being a pitcher. Out of the 16 games that Bryce pitched in, he had maybe two games that didn’t work out the best. However, as the season continued, his velocity, accuracy, and confidence grew. There was one game, late in the season, was a pitcher’s dual up into the 3rd inning and Bryce was taking care of business. The team had his back, scored runs late in the game, allowing minimal pressure for Bryce to pitch 4 innings of amazing baseball. He ended up with 8 strikeouts among 12 hitters enroute to a huge win against a team that underestimated them from the beginning. For the season, Bryce ended up with 45 strikeouts, which produced 3 seasons in a row, of approximately 50 strikeouts. Given that each year, the talents of the kids do increase, the challenges of producing strikeouts is equally difficult. Bryce has produced amazing qualities as a baseball player and I’m sure he will continue to develop his craftsmanship in the game of baseball.
Bryce also took the opportunity to participate in Conant’s summer sports camps this year. Believe it or not, Bryce participated in the golf camp (also, baseball). At first, he was not fully vested, but as time wore on, I think he was getting his groove. In fact, by my urging, he did tryout for the Conant’s golf team in August, making it to the final rounds. Unfortunately, he didn’t make the team. But, I think the golf-bug did catch has Bryce has gone out several times with friends to play rounds of golf, each time getting better as he played. I’m hoping he will continue to play and perhaps truly develop a love for the game and it may lead to other opportunities in the future.

Meanwhile, Bryce continues to hit his workouts, getting stronger each week. He also participates in ‘classes’ at Fastball USA. He will be playing for them next summer (2024), while hoping to make the high school team in the Spring. Given the opportunities between academics and sports, Bryce has tackled each area – head-on! Sometimes he grumbles, express his frustrations, and dislikes me for putting him into situations . . . . but his tenacity of being successful and growing is always evident. I’m sure you’d be proud of him . . . I am!

Not only is your oldest son an art in the making, Blake is a Picasso in the works. His abilities in academics, language, athletics, and personality will have you amazed! Oh where to begin . . . . Blake has done an amazing job finishing up 5th grade. He excelled in all areas with little to no issues. He continues to do well in Math, Writing, and Spanish. All of his teachers carried over from 5th Grade to 6th Grade. Though Blake does enjoy being with Mr. Baez, it does come with (almost) daily news of something. Regardless, Blake continues to demonstrate high levels of academic success. It also goes without some sadness that Blake will be completing his elementary program and moving on to junior high school next year. He will continue with the Spanish Dual Language and hopefully participate in the Discovery program, too. Without a doubt, I’m sure he will complete 6th grade with high marks! Oh, I almost forgot, Blake continued the tradition of participating in Math Olympiad in 5th grade. He had to best his brother and received a PERFECT SCORE from October – March (I believe that 6 tests) on 5 question submissions. Blake is always trying to one-up Bryce . . . but either way, proud of his accomplishments!!!

Blake has continued to grow within himself and displays a high level of athleticism. Last we checked-in, he was playing basketball with the Hoffman Estates Park District. Without a doubt, he led the team in many different categories, played aggressively, and worked hard all season long. Competition was fierce, playing 5th and 6th graders in the same league. The team did okay in the post season, winning two games, but wasn’t able to advance past that. Also, Blake was selected one of two by his teammates to represent in the All-Star game at the NOW Arena. It was a fun experience to play on a professional basketball floor and go against other players at his level. This year, we have ventured into the youth feeder basketball program at Conant. He was selected to play at the silver level and already played a couple of games. This is a step up for him and I’m sure he will endure some growing pains with this experience. Nonetheless, I hope he learns a lot and help him grow as a baller.

Not to be outdone by basketball, Blake has shown some tremendous growth in baseball. He continued playing for Streamwood Stampede and worked out from January thru October. He played in 68 games, consisting of regular season, fall ball, two post seasons championships, three tournaments, and several exhibition games. In all, Blake has produced some amazing stats through hitting, running, and fielding. I’m sure you are aware of his accomplishments and proud of the player he has become. Hopefully Blake will continue to develop, get stronger, and grow within the game. Though, he won’t be playing for SS next year, decided to jump to Northwest Travelers. I believe Blake will continue his development and be enriched in a new experience. Luckily, the organization will attend Cooperstown, which should add another dimensional experience to the game. I’ll keep you posted . . . .

Well, I hope I caught you up to speed on the boys. Currently, COVID has simmered down, but still floating around. The world has opened up, but there’s still some craziness happening. We did some more traveling this past year between sports and personal endeavors. The boys and I have ventured to Florida, Michigan, Wisconsin, and a few trips out to the country. Not sure what is in store for the coming year, but I believe we will be heading out to Florida, Iowa, Michigan, New York, and a few other places.

I, um, what else can I share? My heart is truly broken that you haven’t been with us these past 10 years. I don’t know if anything would have changed or if our lives would have taken a different direction. In the end, it doesn’t matter, it truly sucks! I see so much of you in the boys it’s painstakingly sweet. If I could turn back time, be with you, and had helped you possibly overcome your passing; I would. However, I (and the boys) keep pushing forward, carving out the best scenario for our future. Always keeping you in my mind, heart, and soul! I love you, Sabrina . . . . always have, always will!!!!!!

Your Loving Husband-

Ari


Missing Love

Our angel, missing you daily.

We may be apart, but you are always in our hearts.

Memories we have cherished, will stay for eternity.

Though you are in heaven, your spirit lives daily.

We see your beauty in the skies.

You are always loved and never forgotten.

Missing Love

Dearest Sabrina-

As we enter the 9th Anniversary of your passing, a lot of events have occurred this past year. First and foremost, the boys and I think of you often and miss you daily. We wish you were here to celebrate, cry, laugh, and sigh to all the activities the boys and I were involved in. Our hearts still ache, but I constantly see a part of your soul in Bryce and Blake!

The boys continue to excel in almost everything they are involved in. Through academics, sports, and in life in general . . . the boys have shown poise and success. I’m sure you would be proud of them in any manner, but they have worked so hard to achieve their goals and be as successful in their endeavors!

Bryce continues to strive in junior high school. He continues to partake in the Dual Language Spanish program and has gained quite a bit of momentum in his understanding of the language. I truly hope this investment will pay-off in the long run. In other academia content, Bryce has continued his mathematics knowledge in Algebra I and Geometry. As I mentioned before, I think he truly been gifted with mathematics and technology. In fact, he has produced some interesting projects in STEM I/II that has garnered huge support from his teacher. I believe that one of his current projects is being entered into a competition for junior high students. Fingers crossed on that! As for his other subjects, Bryce has done an excellent job maintaining his academic thirst and achieving high marks. He earned Straight A Honor Roll for 7th grade in all three trimesters. He has continued his academic pursuit with straight A’s in the first trimester of 8th grade. In all, I think Bryce is destined to be on the high track entering high school. Speaking of . . . . your oldest baby will be heading to Conant HS next fall! Yep, a high schooler, UNBELIEVABLE!

As an 8th grader, Bryce was lucky enough to participate in the Washington DC trip. I know he was adamantly against going, but in the end, I believe he had a good time. The trip hit all the major memorials and a couple of other venues. They also went on a dinner cruise on the Potomac. In all, from Friday to Monday, the group was on the go, all the time! Hopefully this experience was positive and Bryce garnered a better understanding of our US history.

Oh, I forgot . . . . Bryce and a partner of his built a bridge out of various supplies in 7th grade science. In the end, big washers were used on the bridges to see how much they can hold. Out of 168 bridges that were tested, Bryce and his partner held 138 washers. This placed them as the strongest bridge in the entire school! An unbelievable accomplishment for our son!

As for sports, Bryce has dabbled in basketball and participated in the 7th grade Basketball Team. As I mentioned last year, they had a great season and the team had the best regular season record, ‘winning’ the Conference. Though, their post season run was a struggle and they ended up in 4th place overall. Despite the unfortunate post-season outcome, I think Bryce had a lot of fun, made new friends, and picked-up a few elements in the game of basketball!

Now, to the most important thing your son is currently into . . . . BASEBALL! Bryce’s season with Northwest Travelers has been some amazing highs and unfortunate lows. In all, I think Bryce has developed into a strong player and continues to learn the game. He has experimented with his pitching, but continues to rely on his fastball. I’m hoping he will gain the confidence to throw a variety of pitches has he continues to experiment, gain confidence, and ‘hone’ his skills. With this, Bryce did accomplish a feat of back-to-back seasons of 50+ strikeouts! I’m sure you are smiling ear-to-ear for this news! On top of his pitching, Bryce has been a very solid fielder at first base, committing about only a handful of errors. He continues to improve his skills and works towards a higher level of 1st fielder development. Lastly, Bryce have worked hard on his hitting and has shown tremendous growth in this skill. In fact, towards to end of the season, Bryce has hit a couple of doubles and two triples. Through it all, Bryce continues to make strides and improve daily as he steps out onto the baseball field!

Your little Bug-a-Boo isn’t so little anymore. I know, I know . . . you probably want him to stay small forever! However, he continues to grow into boy who is very spirited and has tons of energy. Every time, I look deep into his eyes, I see you. Blake continues to be astounding and amazes me at every turn!

Academically, Blake continues to strive in his classes. His ability to be laser focused, give it his all, truly awe-striking. Blake works diligently in all subjects and continues to garner praise from his teachers. Yes, he continues to learn Spanish and improves daily in all contents. In fact, Blake wrote a beautiful narrative of me and entered his speech in a Spanish Contest within the district. Not being bias, he was shortchanged in the judging, but I was told that he did a PHENOMENAL job. Proud of his accomplishments and his willingness to step out of his comfort zone. Blake is on a path to take responsibility for his education and take the world by storm!

Speaking of storms, Blake has ridden a tremendous wave in baseball. From Fall 2021 to Fall 2022, Blake has played on 6 various teams. During that time, he has accumulated a 70 – 6 record. He partook in three undefeated season, played in three championship games, and won two championships. As a contributor to the various teams, Blake has hit a couple of homeruns, triples, doubles, and so forth. His ultra-human power has been his base running. With lightning speed, Blake has stolen approximately 200 bases. On top of his offensive attributes, Blake has made numerous play all over the field. More noticeably, short stop and second base. He has made amazing catches and throws to various bases (also various parts of the field) to get a runners out. Lastly, (no at all least) your son is an amazing pitcher. In most of the games he has pitched, he will strikeout batters to quickly retire an inning. There was one game, Blake only threw 7 pitches to end an opponent’s at-bat. Blake demonstrates an incredible amount of knowledge and gutso in baseball that simply can’t be “taught”. He is instinctive and he attributes those skills from his older brother!

In addition, Blake did play basketball with the park district during the winter months. He contributed to helping those who weren’t as skilled, while working his magic on the court. He was a proficient scorer, leading the team in points. Blake also hustled as a rebounder, despite his size, and was able to help the team both offensively/defensively in this area. As a whole, we had a roller-coaster season, no playoffs were played, but in the whole scheme of things . . . .Blake continues to grow and learn.

As we enter your 9th Anniversary, life continues to move forward. We faced many events this year, which I have witnessed with tears of joy, a little laughter, and sometimes with a broken heart. With every triumph or unfortunate break, my mind and heart always turns to you. I’m sure you would be elated with joy seeing your boys have so much success in their endeavors or share a tear when things just aren’t going so smoothly. You may not be with us physically, but I hope you are spiritually. I can’t thank you enough for providing us two wonderful human beings and it shows they are truly a part of your soul.

As for me, it’s been a challenge! I continue to face the days as they roll by. Trying to figure out how to push forward without you. It is true, a part of my heart died when you passed. I’m not the same person and I’m forever changed. I try to do my best daily and hope I have abided by your ideals. You will always have a place in my heart! Forever remembered, never forgotten!!!

Truly Yours-

Ari

My Sweetest Sabrina-

It has been eight years since your last breath and not a day has passed that I haven’t had a memory or recollection of you. As one believes, each passing day, life would be easier, and the pain would lessen. To me, I still miss you dearly and continue to struggle daily without your presence. Especially at times which we have recently experienced, I have felt very isolated and (at times) desolate with the world around me. We continue to deal with COVID-19 and at times, I wonder how to push forward and make best of an incredibly difficult situation. Hoping a mystical whisper of your soft voice allows me to find the path that best fits the boys and I.

As I mentioned, we are still in a pandemic with Covid-19. Luckily, a vaccine has been developed among several manufactures and has been provided (by the government) free to the public. The roll-out was slow and broken up into phases. Extending to adults and established conditions/professions in the early part of the year. Then, the vaccine was made available for individuals aged 17 – 12 by late Spring / early Summer. Which was followed by late October, with vaccine allowed for children 11 -5 years old. Masks are still highly suggested and keeping in mind the level of proximity you have with someone while being indoors and/or outdoors. However, the choice to wear a mask and to be vaccinated has truly become a political fight more than a personal choice. Honestly, the world has gone crazy and has led people to make some unsavory choices regarding their behavior. Unfortunately, (approximately) ~800,000 deaths have occurred in the US due to this virus. It’s unprecedent times and it is far from over!

After weighing the pros and cons, I went ahead and received the vaccination and the boys are vaccinated, too. I firmly believe in mask wearing, dependent on the circumstances involved, also respecting various parties and their choices, but never sacrificing the health of myself and the boys. It has been incredibly difficult to deal with and carefully navigating the various thought process that has floated around. Simply - - - - it is insane and madness. Despite everything, the world has cautiously moved forward to a new sense or ‘normalcy’.

Bryce has pushed forward in school and finished 6th grade with a tremendous sense of pride. He returned to in-person learning in January and worked hard to finish his elementary years with high marks. Working hard in Spanish, high-level Math, and continued pursuit of the Written Language. You would be proud of his academic accomplishments and receiving all A’s. I know the Spanish was an issue over the years, but he worked hard to meet and (in some areas) exceed the benchmarks that were required of him. Without a doubt, I’m proud of his academic accomplishments!

Would you believe, your oldest baby is in Junior High School?!? Given that he really didn’t have a formal transition, he has stepped up and took the bulls by the horn. It seems like he might have struggled a little, but eventually took everything in stride and had a productive 1st trimester. I’m sure you had no doubts, which I didn’t either . . . . Bryce received all A’s and made the straight A High Honor Roll. He really enjoys his Science and STEM classes because of the new and exciting ‘things’ they can do. Math (Algebra 1 – 8th grade level) is probably a close follow-up, but he has a really, tough teacher. As you know, LA has been a challenge and his least favorite, but he works hard and hasn’t faltered! He continues to work on his Spanish in dual-language and has grown steadily on his learning. I know his teacher continues to encourage his dialogue and attempts to boost Bryce’s confidence with the spoken aspect of Spanish.  Oh, let’s not forget PE and lunch . . . . he likes showing off his abilities in PE and doesn’t stray from exhibiting his abilities among his peers! Despite all this, I’m sure you are very proud of his hard work and continued perseverance in his academics.

Not to be out done by his academics, Bryce has truly excelled on the baseball field in his first year with the Northwest Travelers. His love and passion for the game has grown and is evident from his day-to-day demeanor. His play at first base has provided a tremendous boost for the team’s defense. It has been estimated, he only missed (count on your hand) a few balls that came his way. With every game, he works hard to provide the stability and accountability needed of a first baseman. Not only did his work ethic at first-base grew, but pitching is his true love. Bryce started out in a relief pitcher role when the season started but moved into the starting role around mid-season. His presence on the mound led way to a team high of 50 strikeouts and an ERA 4.30. I’m sure as I write this, Bryce feels that wasn’t a great stat and hopes to lower his ERA to below 2.0. He is so hard on himself but works toward his goals and improves daily. 

Unfortunately, due to COVID, Bryce didn’t play basketball with the park district in early 2021. However, he did make the 7th grade Junior HS basketball team and they have done well within the school district. As of current, they hold the best record and hopefully in a week’s time, they can attain a District Championship. Though Bryce isn’t a starter, he has provided his team a lot of support and have stepped in when asked. I’m glad he took the opportunity to join them and make the most of the experience.

Your Bug-a-Boo continues to amaze me daily. Blake’s achievements in the 4th grade classroom is bar-none, astounding! There have been brief thoughts about moving him up a grade to try and match his academic abilities, but I don’t think that would be the best move for him. He is now working on 4th/5th grade math. He continues to do well in his other subjects, earning high marks. In addition, he has also gained an incredible amount of discipline in Spanish and never shy away from the challenges of learning. His accomplishments in school, has garnered him straight A’s across the board. His utmost favorite class is gym, because he is so athletic and excels in almost any activity, he is involved in. Blake is following in Bryce’s steps and is involved in Math Club and coding. As usual, your Bug-a-Boo works hard and plays hard; leaving everything on the “field”. 

Speaking of athletic accomplishments, Blake has been a terror on the baseball field. He has been very dominant at SS and as a Pitcher. He played for two different organizations this past year and been just a terror! Blake played for the HEPD N60 program for the Spring/Summer. Unfortunately, the program didn’t live up to the expectations we had hoped for, but Blake displayed some amazing play during the season. A few times, Blake would have to play cut-off into the outfield and was able to throw out runners at 2nd or 3rd from afar. Also, he has been able to make some amazing catches or knock balls down while playing SS that makes one think he is ‘super-human’. Not just in the field, but at the plate, he hit three triples in the last four games of the season. He was then recruited to play for Streamwood and he continued to establish himself as a high caliber contributor to the team. Amazing work at SS, pitching (he has an arsenal of pitches), and running! His coach loves Blake’s speed and his level of baseball concepts when running the bases. Blake demonstrates skills that are natural and simply aren’t taught. The Streamwood Fall Ball went undefeated with a record of 12 – 0! This group of kids were truly astonishing and so supportive of each other and I look forward to Blake continuing his baseball pursuits with the Streamwood organization and continue his amazing style of play.

Sabrina, the days without you have continued to be a struggle. Trying to survive this pandemic and all the daily struggles have been a tremendous undertaking. I wish I could hold you in my arms and just be able to ‘escape’ within each other momentarily from our troubles. But reality quickly settles in, and I face the true fact of what lies ahead for me and the boys. I have done everything I can at the moment and keep things at status quo. My only hope, I’m meeting the expectations we have set forth for our children and I haven’t disappointed you. You are always on my mind, my heart cries in silent, and I’m always yearning for your touch. You are missed every day and you are always within our hearts!


With Love,

Ari

My Dearest Sabrina-

Seven years ago today, you left the world peacefully in your sleep. The boys and I have continued to push forward and leave imprints around us that would make you proud! It sure has been a year of struggles though by different means, but despite all of that, a day doesn’t pass without a thought of you.

Let’s share the obvious news . . . .the world has been hit by a horrible pandemic that has caused havoc to millions. Covid-19 has been rumored to started in the US, moved to China, and somehow was released to the general public in a providence within. The spread occurred exponentially and the world basically came to a stop around mid-March (if not slightly earlier) with this virus leaving many people passing, becoming very sick, and/or passing the strain without knowing they were infected. Businesses, schools, and communities came to a screeching halt due to the unknowns and the effects of the Covid-19 Virus. Even eight months later, we have hit a second wave and has turned all of our lives upside down once again. The silver lining, a couple of vaccines have been developed, but it is unknown how everything will play out in the next year. Hopefully, I will have better news for you the next time we chat . . . .fingers crossed.

Now, with some more shining news of your boys . . . .

Your baby, Bryce has grown and excelled in school in various facets. He continues to pursue his love for science and how the world works around him. In fact, he and his good friend entered the Science Fair (5th grade) at school . . . .Electromagnetism. They created a telegraph from scratch and worked on a beautiful (with my help) display board on the topic. With a few other examples to complete the topic, the boys netted a first place ribbon for their topic/display. Also, with the first place in their grade, they earned themselves a perfect score and won an outstanding prize against all other first place winners. You should have seen his modesty when Bryce accepted the award . . . . with a slight hint of a smile. Bryce also conquers the world of numbers around him in math. He continues to learn and grow in mathematical concepts, working on skills a grade to two above ‘normal’. He continues to strive and build on his knowledge in math. Luckily, he inherited both of our brains in these areas. (SMILES)

In the areas of English and Reading, Bryce has shown a lot of growth and understanding. He still has some work to do in piecing his thoughts a little more clearly, but has shown tremendous growth in this area. Bryce has continued to learn and conquer the Spanish language. He has worked (tirelessly, with my urging) with Ms. Liz (Nanny) on the various aspects (vocabulary, conjugating) of Spanish and has shown a tremendous amount of growth and understanding. With that hard work, I think he has reached a level of comprehension that is equal of his grade-level and peers. I know that you were on the fence about introducing dual language and it has been a struggle for Bryce, but I think he has made huge gains and will continue to work hard to develop his Spanish skills in the years to come.

Your first born isn’t so little anymore . . . . he has incurred a tremendous growth spurt from the Spring into the Fall, estimating at least 3 to 4 inches. But before I discuss that, let me back track a little. Bryce did play HEPD basketball last winter/spring. He has proven himself to be a invaluable piece of the team . . .though they struggled a little throughout the season. Despite those struggles, Bryce was selected as an ALL-STAR and played among the best of the best in his group of ballers. He contributed on both sides of the ball and helped his group win the game. Though basketball wasn’t his strongest or favorite sport, Bryce did learn a lot and I believe he grew from the season.

During the early part of the year, Bryce has been working with the N60 baseball program (in-house travel), working on fundamentals. They worked out in the loft and the gym at HEPD and an indoor facility in the neighborhood. It was pretty cool to see the slow growth that our son has engaged in and developed his love of the game of baseball. Then, COVID-19 hit us hard in March and practices were at a standstill. During this time, the boys and I would still go outside and practice the various skills, which I think later had some big dividends. Luckily, by early June . . . . restrictions were slowly lifted by layers and Bryce was able to have a (long) season of baseball with many ups/downs. The team as a whole showed a lot of growth and promise, but just couldn’t piece the necessary skill set to get those W’s. Despite this, Bryce truly showed his colors about half-way into the season and became a SOLID pitcher. With his growth, he was throwing harder, more accurate in placement, and providing his team shorter defensive schemes while on the mound. He probably averaged at least two strikeouts per appearance and rarely gave up no more than a run or two. His command at the mound was evident compared to his peers and just truly was amazing. I honestly had some high expectations for Bryce as a pitcher, but he surpassed those levels and SURPRISED me with his abilities as a pitcher. Does he have some work to do, absolutely! However, he might have found his niche and I hope he continues to develop, grow, and excel in this area. In fact, I decided to pursue the next level of exposure and Bryce will be playing for the Northwest Travelers in 2021. I think this move will expose him to the next level of the game he loves and enable his skills to grow in all areas of the game. Also, Bryce will (hopefully) be playing in a prestigious Tournament for 12U players in Cooperstown, NY. I will inform you on how his season and that experience in my next letter. Regardless of what transpires due to the virus and the season, I can’t wait to see Bryce’s capabilities and how he will develop as a baseball player. You’d be proud of him!

Speaking of your oldest not being little, your ‘Bug-a-Boo’ has shown some tremendous growth over the year. As Bryce has mentioned over-and-over, Blake is a FREAK of NATURE! (In a good way!). Blake has continued to be astounding in so many ways! Sometimes, his eagerness to be so good at everything, also frustrates him when he hasn’t quite attained that level of perfection. Partly to blame, I try not to expect perfection, but I do wish he does his best in his performance in various magnitudes! With all that being shared, here is Blake’s highlights . . .

Blake continues to excel well in school. There really isn’t any subject that Blake can’t tackle. From 2nd grade to 3rd grade, he continues to excel well in school. Rumors could be that Blake potentially could skip a grade due to his educational abilities, but I have decided against that. I would rather he be doing well in his respective grade level, then struggle if he advances (which I doubt that will happen, but I don’t want to gamble on that notion). He has continued to strive in his understanding of the world and enjoys topics like Science and Math. Lucky us, both boys enjoy these subjects! Blake also entered the Science Fair (2nd Grade) with a friend of his and did a project on MOLD. They wanted to see which surface had bacteria, grow mold, and how fast it would grow. They selected surfaces like a toilet seat, door knob, and Bryce’s face. Yes, you are reading this correctly, Bryce’s face! Despite their hard work, they boys received a participation ribbon, though I believe they were cheated. Despite the placement, I know they learned a lot and had a lot fun looking at the grossness of mold and how it affects our lives. In addition to this learning experience, Blake continues to astound his understanding of numbers and math computations. He is probably working at least one and a half grades above his abilities and continues to grow exponentially in numbers. Blake wants to learn more and allows me to foster that growth throughout the year. It truly amazes me (which it probably shouldn’t) how numbers/math concepts are so easy for him. Hoping, he uses his understanding for good and not evil. (ha ha ha)

In addition to science and math, Blake has astounded his 3rd grade teacher in the use of reading and comprehension of the English language. His writing (a work in progress) continues to grow and his ability to show proper writing development beyond current grade level. In fact, his teacher was surprised on how advance his writing ability is and the way he expresses himself on a daily basis. With that in mind, Blake’s Spanish teacher has been pleasantly encouraged on well he paces himself with the language. Likewise during the Spring/Summer, the nanny has worked with Blake to increase his vocabulary and grammatical knowledge in Spanish. Again, you would be proud of his accomplishments and growth in his educational development. Truly impressive and I firmly believe that Blake’s future will be nothing less than amazing!

Again, to compliment his brain, Blake’s athletic powerless goes without mention. He has the ability to move graciously and continues to be amazing. Like Bryce, Blake did play basketball with the park district (which I coached) and had an outstanding season. He averaged approximately 41% of the team’s points for the season, which netted him almost 7 points/game on average. In conjunction to his offensive performance, he made many defensive moves which provided the opponents a very difficult time managing the ball while on court. They finished the season against some tough, tough competition and finished the season with a 6 – 4 record, nonetheless I couldn’t be more impressed and proud of his tenacity on the court.

With everything that occurred and transpired with COVID-19 , luckily Blake was able to have a baseball season that covered a four month span (summer – fall). With Blake’s Fall Coach’ s suggestion and my decision, I selected to skip the second year of Pinto and placed Blake in Mustang Level (should be > 3rd – 4th grade) baseball. Given that the Palatine Park Districts scrambled to put together a season/program, the two teams from Hoffman Estates played against four teams from Palatine. The catch was that those Palatine teams consisted a majority of 5th graders and a handful or two of 4th graders. Whereas, the Hoffman Estates teams were primarily 4th graders, a handful or so of 5th graders, and possibly two or three 3rd graders (which puts Blake in this category). With this background information, Blake’s team did struggle against the Palatine kids. Despite these struggles, our son was a starting pitcher in all the games except one, maybe two. Rarely gave up runs to the opponents and tallied at least 3 to 4 strikeouts/game, and/or contributed to an out or two as a pitcher in many as games he played in. Also, as a batter, Blake was able to get on base fairly frequently . . . and when he did, he was able to round those bases quickly and steal home on several occasions. A few times, Blake was caught in a run-down and was either able to score at home or avoid the tag to keep the inning alive. It truly amazed me that he was able to keep up with the style of play (though struggled here and there {independently or from the team} and overall was able to play some high caliber ball. I can see a bright future for our kid if he keeps up with this sport!

The boys have also engaged in golf and football around the house and has shown some promise in these sports. As they continue to grow and get stronger, I have no doubt that our boys will be a force to be reckon with! I know that you would be proud of their accomplishments and continue to keep them safe!

As for me, not much has changed . . . .except my hair has become more gray due the stress of everything. Seven years, with a little help here and there, but nothing compared to really isolating myself and carrying a lot of ‘weight’ to manage the day-to-day stuff. No, I’m not blaming the situation, just trying to make sense of the how and why. I’m sure, if we had the choice, I wouldn’t be writing this letter and we would be walking together through this crazy life. My heart is full, but empty at the same time! My head spins, but our kids keep me in a straight line (mostly). My emotions is a roller coaster, but know that tomorrow always brings a new day. I have always loved you (Oct. 1996) from the moment of our first kiss to today {24 years later}, you will always be with me and that will never stray!

Affectionately Yours-

Ari

My Sweet Sabrina-

Sigh . . . six years! Though the time has been short, it sure feels like a millennium. I still struggle day-to-day during your absence. There really isn’t any way to put this in words and having experienced the loss that we have . . . just seems like a black-hole kind of void that never really resolves itself. The daily pain, struggles, despair, heartaches, and sighs continues and I don’t believe it will ever end. The only silver lining, the precious gift of our boys. We both know the truth . . .you created some truly spectacular, charismatic, talented, well-mannered humans that have grace the Earth. With that . . . thank you for providing me with two special gifts.

Bryce has been nothing but marvelous and inspiring over this past year. He played park district basketball and improved ten-fold in his game. Though he still has some work to do, Bryce has learned some new elements in the game and worked hard on those skills. He was voted as an All-Star and provided some quality support to his teammates. In all, through leadership and basketball-sense, Bryce showed some true grit in the game.

But that didn’t end in basketball . . .his skills and tenacity in baseball has really shined over the last 8 months. Bryce has really developed into a ball player. He has the ability to play multiple positions, yet he truly focuses on where his heart leads him. He hopes to play 1st / 2nd base and continue to improve his skills in these positions. Bryce did struggle with his bat during the Summer season, but came alive in the Fall. Though, he didn’t reach the bases as much as he wanted, he was seeing the ball much better. His team did play in the championship game (summer season), but loss by a run. Fall Ball, was fairly decent, but they fizzled out towards the end. My only hope, Bryce continues to keep his passion and tenacity at a high level; he could really make a difference in the game and himself.

Through some convincing and loyalty, Bryce did give the Junior PGA another round of golf. He was fortunate to be part of a great group of kids in a weak conference. Nonetheless, the team went on to an astounding undefeated season and obliterated their opponents. Given this unheard performance, Bryce did provide sparks of support in various moments. Not everything was ‘rosy’, but Bryce continued to work through his roller coaster and played some strong golf toward the end of the season. It looks like golf might not be in the cards at the moment, but I hope the game has taught him some valuable lessons about himself and his own confidence.

Speaking of strength and determination . . . you would definitely be impressed by Bryce’s growth educationally. Overall, school has been going well and Bryce did very well in all his subjects, achieving high marks in everything. He also joined the Math Olympiad at school. By season’s end, our son was marked by the program at the top 50% percentile, top 10% percentile, and the top 2% percentile in the world (though I think it was the nation), according to Bryce. No matter how this is interpreted, Bryce has continued to expand his educational horizon and pushes himself to yearn for more.

But not far behind, is your Bug-a-Boo. Blake is truly a natural in so many different ways. I think the mold for him can never be replicated. His tenacity on the basketball court, baseball field, and anything else with athleticism; is absolutely astounding. His ability to understand the game at many different levels goes without notice. He was an unbelievable basketball player, understanding the plays, working around opponents, and scoring baskets every chance he could. For a first year player, Blake made approximately 60% of the team’s points! Also, he has proven himself on the ball field time-over-time. From helping his team with key hits . . .to pitching 3 up – 3 down . . .making plays all over the field . . .Blake is truly a natural!

Not only is his athleticism a work of art, Blake is one smart kid. I think we both can brag that we have a share in developing his ‘smartness’. Blake is doing very well in all subject matters and truly has shown a level of high aptitude for learning. He is a candidate to take a special assessment exam to see if he qualifies for additional support for his learning. To me, I know that he has a gift and I hope he will be guided to use it in a manner that will make him successful, as well as, those that are around him. I know that you would be proud of his abilities, talents, and charismatic wits that makes him your Bug-a-Boo!

As for me, it doesn’t seem to get any easier. It has been mentioned that time heals wounds, however, my wounds still feel fresh! To truly comprehend the feelings, emotions, anguish, anxiety, complexities, and anything else . . . is basically an understatement. Pushing forward, having the boys being my ‘light’, has been keeping some level of sanity for all of us. Please note, I harbor no ills . . . but wish for a different path in life. My heart still weeps, my memories never fade, and my soul keeps yearning for that connection. We miss you tremendously and love you deeply.

Ari

You are still missed! It’s hard to believe you have been gone for 5 years! Happy birthday!

My Dearest Sabrina-
We are embarking on the 5th Anniversary of your passing. I look back at those years and really try to understand how I managed. How the boys managed? How we all continued to move forward without you in our lives. And every time, I tend to be speechless. I guess, I really have just figured things out and hoped that my actions were reasonable. I know that many of times, I probably didn’t make the best decisions, but the outcome has always been positive (or at the least, manageable).
It has been a year of unbelievable growth and amazement for our kids. Both academically and athletically, Bryce and Blake have astounded me beyond belief! But before I go in that, I would like to share with you some of my thoughts . . .
From the moment you passed away,
   my heart was torn in two.
One side filled with heartache,
   the other passed away with you.
I didn’t get to say farewell,
   there was no time to say goodbye.
My heart still aches with sadness,
   secret tears still flow.
I lie awake at night,
  taking a stroll down memory lane.
What it meant to share our love,
   no one can truly ever know.
Remembering your smiles and laughter,
   brings tranquility to my soul.
I hold you tightly within my heart,
   there you remain for eternity!
I have heard and been told that each day should get easier and the memories will stay with you for eternity. Each day, doesn’t get easier and the memories are still endless on a daily basis. Not a moment passes that I don’t have a thought or recollection of you popping up in some form. It could be as simple as seeing a glimpse of you in Blake’s eyes, seeing something in the house that brings a momentary smile, or a tremendous achievement that Bryce accomplished, but you were missing out on. Will it get easier, heck no! Actually, it will probably get harder and bring a quiet tear or two, but being able to witness these events for the both of us and smile, laugh, cry, or a moment of silence thus will be cherished forever in your memory. I can’t change the past, present, or future - - -but know, I will try my best to witness all of these events for the both of us.
Now, who should I start with . . . . I believe I started with Bryce last time, so it is Blake’s turn. Our little Blake isn’t quite the Bug-a-boo you remember him to be. He has grown so much over the year and it is strikingly amazing! He is definitely a very handsome, cute, charming, athletic, and intellectual young boy. He has a smile that can light up the sky! His demeanor makes you chuckle and almost to the point of wanting to eat him all up. But in all honesty, Blake is our child that you can be truly PROUD of.
Blake has demonstrated a level of intelligence that is beyond his years. Perhaps, having an older sibling to ‘learn’ from has its advantages . . . he truly embodies a sharp mind. Blake’s hunger for knowledge is evident throughout the school year. He is on pace to being a grade to a grade and half beyond his peers. Blake’s ability to read and comprehend the material is remarkable. He continues to do well in Spanish and has actually conversed unconsciously with Bryce. Also, he loves numbers! Our son constantly wants to learn more and have the ability to demonstrate his competency in math. I have tried to provide him an opportunity to rightfully engage in that kind of learning, but was told that he needs to have a solid foundation. I think otherwise, so I have done my own (at his discretion) push of math and he just simply loves it. I’m sure you are thinking that I might be pushing him a little too much, but he is the one that is eager to learn . . . I’m just fostering it. (Smiles) In all, we produced one heck of a smart child and I am certain his impact on society will be profound!
On top of Blake’s intellectuality, he knows how to get it done on the field, too. Spring soccer (Iguanas), your son contributed to over 1 /2 to 2/3 of the team’s goals in soccer. In doing so, he helped the team to an undefeated season (8 – 0; outscoring opponents 50 to 2).  He then continued into the Fall season (Serpents), playing quite a bit as Forward and Mid-Fielder. Blake did struggle a little in the fall season, but contributed in many ways as a Forward and Goalie. Again, the team was amazing in their performance. The Serpents went 7 – 1; losing a heartbreak game on a doubleheader when temperatures hovered in the 40s. I’m sure you would have been proud of his tenacity and determination to make a difference and help his team in many different ways!
Not to be outdone by all of the soccer, Blake also entered the world of Tee-Ball/Baseball. He really came about in the game (of course with Bryce’s help) very quickly. Yes, it was a water-down version of the game of baseball (which you already knew, but I didn’t), but Blake quickly adapted and actually showed a tremendous amount growth and comprehension of the game. Premature it may sound, I really think Blake will continue to grow and be a major contributor to the game.
Lastly, I signed Blake up for basketball this coming season. He has been working hard (on the driveway/gym) and has already shown some promise. Yes, I will be coaching him on the park district team, and yes, I promise to not go crazy and provide him room to grow in his own way. 
Not to be a broken record, I know that you would be truly proud, impressed, and enthusiastic about all of Blake’s actions, accomplishments, knowledge, and the overall development of a young boy. Yes, I know that he will always be your Bug-a-Boo, but he is also growing up to be a huge contributor to our society.
Now, your oldest boy . . .Bryce continues to amaze me in so many ways. In his own right, Bryce is tremendously inquisitive and intelligent. He is doing an amazing job in school and pours his heart into all his subject areas. Yes, he still struggles with Spanish, but has made some strides and continues to improve. Bryce’s love is definitely in math and sciences. His ability to understand the various methods of math and solving mathematical problems seems to be very easy for him. No surprise, he is already learning math above his grade level and continues to easily understand the material. I even placed him in Math Olympiad in hopes that he can contribute and learn with his peers. Bryce also loves Science and Social Science. He is always yearning for more information to gain a better understanding of the world around him. He hopes to be involved in the Rocket Club in the upcoming Spring and launch a rocket. Sometime, Bryce’s love for learning brings me a chuckle and a smile. I just love seeing his eyes get wide, ‘seeing’ his brain churning, and the light bulb showing above his head. We are quite blessed with children that are very smart and strives for learning about the world around them.
Speaking of striving . . . Bryce has really come out of his shell in athletics. He did play basketball last season and did fairly well. He is still learning the game of basketball and my hope is that he will continue to develop as he grows. Bryce has also played another season of Golf with the Jr PGA Golf Association. He had some ups and down while competing and definitely showed some improvement in his game. At season’s end, he did mention that he really didn’t want to compete anymore, but his coach moved to another club and insisted that Bryce joins his team there. He is considering it . . . even without me nudging him. In addition to the competitive season, Bryce competed in the Drive, Chip, Putt challenge. He came in 8th place compared to his competitors, which was a huge improvement from last year.
Then there is baseball . . .WOW! Not just one season, but back-to-back season, Bryce was on two CHAMPIONSHIP teams. The first team (Red Skulls), Bryce was selected through a draft process. He was selected by his coach due to his ability to pitch fairly decently. Given that situation, Bryce worked very hard to work himself into the rotation on a regular basis as the season went on. Also, he worked hard as a selective hitter, due to that work ethic, Bryce ended up being the lead-off hitter in the latter part of the season for every game. As a team, they struggled, but came around the corner a little bit and ended on a strong note, finishing the season at .500. Then the Red Skulls cranked it up and plowed through some great gamesmanship and ended up taking the Park District Championship in unbelievable fashion!
In the Fall Season, Bryce on a completely new team (only 4 team members he knew from Spring), this team decided to do a curtain call. With an abbreviated season, the Firestarters went on to have an undefeated season (9 – 0) and claim the Interleague (Palatine and Rolling Meadows) Championship. 
I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of our boys. Whether it is on the field, in the classroom, or in general, they are truly the epitome of you. Every laugh, gleam of their eyes, dimples of their cheeks, everyday mannerism, and their outwardly demeanor truly reminds me of you! A day doesn’t pass that I noticed within the boys some element of you. You may not be here in the physical presence, but you are definitely seen spiritually through our boys.
In all, I’m managing . . . Sabrina. Five years seems like a millennium, but yet feels like yesterday. I miss you without a doubt, but I know that I must move forward and make the best of what’s in front of me. Our boys, is my inspiration and reason to make the best of each day. Please know that a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of you and my heart still weeps. But the boys feed me strength through their smiles and laughter, just enough to make each day count. I love you hon, always did, always will . . . . now and eternity!

My Dearest Sabrina-

Today marks four years since you have passed. My heart still grieves and my tears have never stopped. I miss you daily and I still struggle without your presence. However, the two reasons my life moves forward, is for the gorgeous boys you have provided me. Speaking of our boys, I know you would be thrilled to see/hear their accomplishments over the past year.

Bryce has been very involved athletically. He has participated in competitive basketball, baseball, and golf. His participation in basketball would make your heart melt. He might not be the best ‘baller’ out on the court, but his heart is in the right place. Bryce does a wonderful job defensively and always gives his opponents a hard time. He does show his boldness on the court, despite not being the biggest defender out there. As for showing tenacity, Bryce dipped his toes in baseball this past year. Who knows, if the Cubs had a thing or two about his new interests in this sport, but he sure did enjoy himself. It was a long two seasons, but his growth in the game has been astounding. From someone who could barely field a ball in March to becoming a fairly decent catcher in October, has shown exponential development. He does have a passion for pitching, third base, and second base. I firmly believe that his idolization of Anthony Rizzo has shaped a lot of the ballplayer that he has become and hope to be. Also, his ability to make friends through his commitment has paid huge dividends. Hopefully, you were able to catch several huge plays Bryce made over his two seasons as a baseball player. Lastly, yes, I did enroll Bryce in a golf program this summer. I think you would be pleasantly amazed as to how he developed and performed over the season. Bryce did play against kids that were three to five years older than him, but the level of grace and determination he showed, brought warmth to my heart. His play was sometimes like a roller-coaster, but I think he truly learned a lot about himself and a new profound ideology for the game of golf. You would be proud of how he listened to his coaches, tried various skills, and developed a level of toughness. Down the stretch, Bryce was able to make some big strides in his short game and improved tremendously on his putting. I’m sure you are having some doubts about golf and for a 7/8 year old to play, but I hope that the future is promising for him and golf will open some doors.

Speaking of doors, Bryce has been doing really well in school. He finished 2nd grade with a flurry and earned himself high marks in all subject areas. Yes, Spanish was a slight Achilles-Heel, but I did secure a tutor for him over the summer. I think the tutoring was helpful and allowed him not to be so frustrated with this content area coming into 3rd grade. In fact, he had a better start with Spanish and his teacher has commented that his progress is improving steadily. A huge strength for Bryce has been in mathematics. A big experiment in third grade was to teach the 4th grade math curriculum, which he is doing very well with. He has also shown a good deal of interest and has a good ear in music. Bryce was introduced to the recorder and absolutely loved it. Other subject areas that he shows interests in is Science and Social Studies. He definitely has a thirst for knowledge and isn’t shy showing his interests. Bryce does have some issues with writing, but I’m confident that he will develop his talents of being able to write with guidance. In all, you should be proud of what Bryce has done, continues to do, and be pursuant of his own educational destiny.

Bryce has developed into a son you would be unconditionally proud of. His role of big brother is nothing short of his demeanor. Bryce LOVES Blake so much, that makes any other relationship look almost fake. Yes, they do have their sibling issues, but the overall kindness Bryce gives Blake is truly heart-melting. You will also be proud of the young man Bryce has become to others. He treats everyone with compassion and a huge smile, leaving no one an enemy. A lot of people have remarked the similarities of his behavior to yours. The two of you are like two peas-in-a-pod when it comes to that. I’m sure you have nothing less then beaming pride for your ‘B-man’!

As for Blake, he definitely takes after your side of the family. He has made some significant strides this past year. One of the biggest jump, has been his athletic pursuit in soccer. He mentioned in the early summer that he wanted to play soccer. I laugh at this because this was the one sport I had tried to steer the kids away from, unless it was recreational. Yet, Blake was very adamant about it and wouldn’t take no for an answer. We started out slow and I put him into a ‘class’ . . . that was when I realized that he does have some raw talent and is decently good. Thereafter, we tried the park district program in the fall. He started out a little slow, but a switch turned on and he cranked up the volume, quickly. In most of his games, he was the leading scorer, scoring around 85 to 90 percent of his team’s goals. In a double header, he scored four goals in each game. Then a few weeks later, he scored seven of his team’s 8 goals. Our son is a little rocket with that right foot of his. I wished you were able to see his performances, but I know in ‘spirit’, you were cheering him on. Blake does well in a range of other sports, keeping up with his brother. I have no doubt, that Blake will do well athletically and I’m sure he will excel in various athletic competitions.

Not only has Blake’s excelled on the field, he is remarkable in school. As you are aware, he finished the preschool program at HEPD with a flourish. As you know, Ms. Colleen and Ms. Joyce did a wonderful job giving Blake the foundation needed to further his education. Now that he joined his big brother at Enders, he has shown some remarkable strides. For instance, he entered knowing some basic sight words and reading those words accordingly. In a few short months, his reading shot-up 3 to 4 steps and is able to read nighttime stories to us. Which you are aware, is truly amazing at that age. By the way, Blake was lucky to draw Bryce’s teacher from 2nd grade and has her for Kindergarten. Speaking of teaching, Bryce has really drilled math into Blake’s brain. As a result, Blake’s mathematical abilities are beyond his years. In fact, he is tutored with a couple of other kids from his class by a gifted/resource teacher. Working on various skills that is mostly 1st to 2nd grade material range. Just like athletics, Blake will truly excel in any of his endeavors and won’t take any prisoners.

Speaking of which, Blake’s tenacity in everything he does is nothing short of persistent. Yes, he does get frustrated easily . . . but I know that he wants to do well. No wait, he wants to exceed and be the best! I’m working with him on this issue, but knowing that he has that ‘drive’, already makes him a winner in my book! Another thing I want to mention. . .Blake’s smile and laughter is so infectious! Every time he giggles or has that huge ‘golden’ smile, nothing else matters. He has that ability to just make everything else unimportant and make you smile or even laugh! Along with this magical gift, he loves everyone. He can make friends with anyone who passes and invite them along for the ride. Your ‘Bug-a-boo’ is a true treasure and I am very, very lucky to have him!

As for myself, I wake up every day and face new challenges that await me. I have been told that over time, things will get easier . . .honestly, it doesn’t. I have found ways to manage and prioritize, but I truly wish you were here to witness the growth of our children and share in the memories I see daily. My heart still aches, I shed my tears, I still ask – ‘Why?’ . . .knowing that the answers may never come. But the one thing I do know and cherish . . . are Bryce and Blake. I know this will never get old and sometimes overused . . .Thank you for providing me two wonderful joys of life. I know for a fact, when I lay in the dark or when I take a moment to think . . .what a lucky man I am and for showing me that life must continue on despite the circumstances. Yes, it is true – that I would rather have you here to share these experiences, but life shouldn’t be black and white. You have shown me that life is colorful and it is important to persevere no matter how high the bricks might be stacked. You have shown me that stopping to smell the roses or to hear the laughter of our children is more important than the complexities of life. I truly appreciate your loving and compassionate spirit. Thank you Sabrina for who you were and continue to ‘stand’ next to me as I journey life.


With Love-

Ari

My Dearest Sabrina-

Today marks your three-year anniversary since you have passed away. A day does not go by without a thought of you entering my mind. Even your boys will mention your name and smile because they say you are still in their heart. Even though time has grown since we were separated, our hearts still aches and our tears have never stopped. We continue to miss your presence . . .

Blake continues to show that gleam in his eyes when he smiles; it is almost as if I can see you when he smiles - which is quite astonishing, but not at all surprising. Blake continues to strive in his learning and grows daily. He loves going to Preschool and interacting with his peers. Blake loves to work on his letter writing and continues to push forward with his fine motor skills. Yes, sometimes he doesn’t take helpful criticism well. Nonetheless, he loves to learn and works hard on his writing abilities. Oh, before I forget, our boy can write his name quite legibly. I am very proud of his tenacity to accomplish this feat. As for physical play, he loves to participate in anything with movement. He continues to figure out what his body can and cannot do . . . even though he thinks he can do it all. (He wants to keep up with his big brother . . . sigh!) Blake thoroughly enjoys his gymnastic class because nothing seems to stop his level of curiosity and daringness. I’m telling you, our boy has no fear and is willing to continue until success is achieved. (ha ha ha, an admirable trait he picked-up from you.) I’m sure you will be proud to see that Blake loves the water and swimming. He can now put his head in the water and actually swim a short distance. (A big skill jump from this time, last year.) Another trait that amazes me, is Blake’s ability to show compassion and understanding to anyone he meets. An admirable trait, but one I have to be very cautious of with him. Rarely does Blake show any insensitivity to anyone and tries to make everyone his best friend. Especially, his uncanny love for Bryce. If I had to, I might need a pry bar for all the times that Blake is literally attached to his big brother. A blessing in disguise that shows me that brotherly love is very natural between the two of them.

Speaking of brotherly love, Bryce is also very compassionate and warm-hearted, despite his ‘pint-size’ body. He continues to show Blake the world through his eyes and I know he is in good hands. Bryce had shown tremendous growth (in my eyes) in school. His ability to read (a special thanks to his 1st grade teacher) has grown steadily over this past year. In fact, his growth has moved him into the second highest reading group in his class. In addition, Bryce’s ability in math is quite impressive. In fact, with the dual language program, he brought home a couple of worksheets in Spanish with math problems on it and had them solved/finished. Amazing! In all, Bryce is doing well in school and seems to enjoy learning new things daily. Also, his love to draw and create pictures has definitely shown through his daily display of artworks. Maybe, he has a talent that needs to be fostered. Among other “talents’, Bryce continues to grow in sports. His participation in Basketball, Golf, and Swimming has continued throughout the year. It is true, he might not be the strongest athlete out there, but his perseverance and determination to succeed has shown through his work ethic. For example, he can now make a basket in basketball and has an interesting way of playing defense. He has a long way to go, but his initial steps are in the right direction. Golf, a game you were not too fond of, has shown Bryce the choices he makes on the course, correlates with the many facets of life choices. To him though, “killing” the white ball makes him very happy. Nonetheless, his game is improving and I hope he will engage in it for a lifetime. Lastly, I think Bryce might have been some sort of water creature in his past life. He loves the water and seems to treat it like his playground. Bryce needs to continue to work on his strokes, but it appears he has found a level of peace in the water. With all being said, Bryce loves to move around and continues to dabble in various games and other sports interests. There have been talks between him and I in regards to trying baseball in a more organized form of play. (Time will tell, smiles!) In all, Bryce is developing into a strong, independent, and mindful young boy that has no problem facing the world and achieving his goals.

As for myself, I honestly feel the struggles of how are lives are at this moment. I am not complaining, but I do miss the level of patience and understanding you bring when raising our boys. I miss the reassurance you brought when making those tough decisions. I miss the calm, gentle reasoning you provided when deciding the boys’ fate. I know that all of my actions and demeanor is the best for our boys and by what I have outlined . . . everything seems to be okay. Nonetheless, it doesn’t compare unless you were by my side. It is funny, maybe I am hallucinating, but I swear I hear you, reassuring me, calmly telling me that everything is okay. Erringly as that sound, I appreciate all that you have spiritually handed me and I hope to make you proud.

I put together a few words just for you:

I have collected “our” heartfelt love
and all the cherished memories.

I have collected “our” kisses
and the laughter at each day’s end.

I have collected “our” hugs
and the spoken “I LOVE You”.

We will send these gifts, which
weighs not a thing.

Hoping to catch the sunlit rays
to the open skies.

A loving wish wrapped tight with “our” gifts . . .

To you, “our” LOVE!!!

With Love-

Ari

Think of you often...
Hugs and Prayers with you and the boys Ari...

Sabrina it is so hard to believe you have left this world 3 years ago. you will always be remembered for your kindness and warm spirit. I know you are watching over you beautiful boys and loving Husband.

happy b-day Chief !  We all miss and think of you everyday

Happy Birthday Brina Rina:)

We Miss You!!

Cant believe its been 2 years..I remember out last talk, the day after thanksgiving right before I went up north to Prescott. You were actually talking about football and how you were looking forward to seeing each other at Christmas..I look back and you taught me what it took to be a leader and I use the skills today to help voice how bad teachers pay is in Shannon's school district..By the way I am engaged again, this time will be better.. Miss you every day!!

Sabrina, I think about you every day as I pass your house to go to work or to the grocery store. I didn't know you for very long but you were truly a very special person. My heart goes out to Ari and the boys still.You are deeply missed by so many.Hugs!!

I walked in to the Y this morning and as I was unlocking the door and thinking about the day ahead I thought of you. I sat down at my desk as I do each morning to check my email and in my inbox was the reminder of your passing. You are forever missed by your Elgin Y family.

My dear friend,
I cannot believe that it has been 2 years since you were taken from us too soon. I miss you so much! I can't begin to count the times I have wanted to tell you something or share something with you that would make you laugh. Life has been hard without you, but when faced with a challenge I often ask myself "what would Sabrina tell me". That comforts me and there have been many times, I'm sure, that you would have kicked my ass for my behavior. That thought has helped me to get through the hard days. Things will never be the same without you, nor do I want them to be.

As kids, we often think that we when we get older we'll "catch up" in age to the people who are older than us. Well, that day has arrived and I am now older than you, which is something I never would have dreamed would come true. You were always the older and more wiser one, but I guess it's now my turn. I don't know if I am ready for that, but I will try.

You were an important part in my life, one that I will continue to treasure forever. I love you and miss you and keep you close in my heart.

Your friend,
Melinda

Sweetheart-

We come upon the anniversary of your passing, which my heart is still a shatter. Despite this heartache, our boys still keeps me going. Speaking of which . . .

Blake is still your bug-a-boo, but not the peanut he once was. He is growing like a weed and continues to discover the world around him. His heart is truly pure and gentle, but occasionally shows his temperament when things don’t necessarily goes his way. (I wonder where he gets that from?)  Despite this, he is definitely learning things daily and craves for the attention. His smiles light up a room, and the gleam in his eyes, makes others laugh with him. His dimples must be something he got from you, because I see those similarities. His hugs are pure with the strength you have given him. There is no doubt that you would be impressed by his charisma and mannerism.

Bryce continues to keep the world as an oyster in his palm. He has the ability to make others laugh when he does and make those around him feel special. Bryce is very sociable and is adored by all those he comes in contact with. The talk of his eyes still resonates with those who meet him and describes his personality as magnetic. Bryce loves his little brother so much and is very supportive of his developments and milestones. There is no mistake; Bryce truly epitomizes your heart and sincerity. He still talks about and reminds me of the many adventures that we have been through together as a family. I’m sure that none of this is surprising to you, because you raised a child with such radiance and passion.

As for me, I still struggle emotionally with you not being by my side. I continue to second guess all my actions, hoping I make the right decisions for our family. In all honesty, I truly did value your thoughts and knowledge in everything we have done together. There is no true way to put into words how I miss your touch, warmth, and sincerity. Please don’t take what I’m saying as something I took for granted, that is not true. I have always thought of you as my mortar to brick that kept us strong together. I miss that strength and compassion that you provided on a daily basis. Have I been able to piece back my heart since your passing, no I haven’t. But what has helped keep my heart going has been the love and smiles of our children. I can’t thank you enough for providing me two priceless treasures that has shown me how to push through the days.

I’m reminded of a picture that I saw the other day with two ‘chairsma’, attached, that sat opposite of each other, but still faced one another. Under that picture, a question was placed . . .”If you were given an hour to talk with someone, who would it be?” In my case, the answer is quite simple . . .

Missing You Eternally,

Ari

Happy Birthday Sabrina. Much loved and missed; may you have peace forever more.

I'm saddened to know it's been a year without you. This was a hard year for many of us. Emotions continue to run deep. I miss you and think of you often.

I can't believe it's been a year... You are still sorely missed. Your boys are beautiful and Ari has been amazing as a dad. I'm sure you are looking down beaming with pride at them. Your boys are such a wonderful reminder of how special you were.

My Dearest Sweetheart-

It will be a year today; you were taken away from us.

A lot has happened over the course of the year that I’m sure you are well aware of. It truly caught my breath in how many people have taken us in their warm embrace. The community of Hoffman Estates (especially three moms) has provided a tremendous amount of support. Everything from meals to fundraisers has helped eased some of the difficulties we have freshly faced with your passing. In addition, the John Hersey Community and surrounding areas have too been instrumental in looking after us. Meals have been provided, gift cards donated/bought, and a couple of fundraisers/contributions have been very useful for day-to-day to long range planning for the boys and I. The movement of support and graciousness from everyone has really been one of the few ‘moments’ that allows me and the boys to move forward.

As for the boys:

Blake is still that Bug-a-Boo you love to your heart. He made some remarkable strides (thanks to Bryce the Teacher) this past year. He has been able to put shoes on by himself and on the correct foot, too. His language development continues to build in amazing fashion. You won’t believe (actually you would) how many people say that he is just an adorable young boy and sees a lot of you in him. Blake has been nothing short of how you would perceive him in your eyes. He is definitely has your smile, laugh, and gleam.

Bryce, your precious first born, has been astounding me daily with his demeanor. His level of understanding and wit carries your personality with accuracy. The way he sees the world, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has the world in his palm one day. On the other hand, his level of sincerity and thoughtfulness is unparalleled to the way you saw human nature in your eyes. He continues to develop in such a manner that would have you bursting at the seams.

As for myself, there is still a huge void in my heart. I know that we drove each other crazy and a lot of our antics would truly make one of us want to scream. Yet, we always still went to bed together and never made one sleep elsewhere. We managed to figure out our differences and to strengthen our bond for one another.  I get a sliver of an understanding when I talk about you as my soul mate. Like those couple who may have known each other for three-quarter of a century and say that they are soul mates. But when does die leaving their partner behind . . . I feel that I have a better comprehension of losing someone who meant so much to me and loved me for who I was.

I know we spoke at length about moving forward and trying to live a good life for ourselves, as well as, our children. That promise is really difficult for me. I will continue to strive and create wonderful memories and moments with our children. I will make sure they never forget the mother they once had. Despite the void in all our hearts, I do see you in the boy’s eyes and that really helps me to push forward and keep your spirit alive.

Sabrina, thank you for giving me 18 years of wonderful memories, two children who are a blessing in disguise, and the love you shared with me is truly priceless in my heart. I continue to miss you and love you daily.

Eternally Yours,

Ari

You are missed and thought of often:) Prayers and love to your family from your Y family.

"I still can't believe it's been a year. We all are still striving forward like you would want use too. Thinking about things over the last we were a lot a like in some ways. Determined, passionate, competitive, stubborn yes Sabrina was stubborn it a family trait, motherly well you more than me I,am more fatherly, and most of all caring. So you did teach me a few things over the years.

Your little brother
Love Matt

One year already...You are missed everyday..Your boys are two of the best I have ever seen, I can say that after working so long with you and getting a taste of all kids at different ages.  It's been hard to realize your not around, some days I still forget. We all miss you and will not forget

Happy birthday. I know you are with us in thought. I miss you everyday and especially on days I share with your family. You would be proud of Bryce and Blake. They talk of you often. I wish we could have had more time to celebrate life together. I hold peace with knowing I spent so much time with you and your family. You made a huge difference in many lives. Thank you for the difference in mine. I wouldn't be where I am in life without you. Rest well.

My Dearest Wife:

I guess eternity wasn't meant to be. Yet the memories, laughter, and tears will live forever in my heart. Our motto, "Two lives, two hearts, joined together in friendship, united forever in love." will never fade from my soul.

I will always remind our children of how wonderful you were to them and how much you LOVED them. I'm sure you'll be their guardian angel and show them how pure and rich your feelings were for them and to share that with others.

Bryce has recalled a memory every night on your behalf. He wishes you pleasant dreams, misses you, and says, "I love you, Mom!"

Blake, your 'Bug-a-Boo' still looks for you and calls out Mama (as well as other things he sees - ha ha). He will carry your infectious laugh and knows that his cuddle time with you are treasured moments.

For others you have touched or pissed-off, are in a better place for knowing you. (Which have been repeated by numerous individuals.) They have been touched by your charm, beauty, and dedication. No matter how busy you were or how complicated life was --- you still gave a smile and a helping hand. Bless you for a heart bigger than yourself.

When people talk about a diamond in a rough, Sabrina was this DIAMOND! She knows how to shine and radiate like no other, yet still has the compassion to be a phenomenal wife, mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, best-friend, friend, associate, co-worker, boss, and individual.

Rest-in-peace my LOVE, now and forever!

Sabrina,

You taught so many people about compassion and leadership. I think so fondly of our camp days. Early mornings, late nights, and weekends in the Dells. You taught me how to care for others with compassion and love. I am so grateful that I had you as my leader so many years ago. Thank you for being such an amazing person. I am certain your boys will know the imprints you left in so many people's hearts. My heart goes out to Ari, the boys, and all of Sabrina's loved ones. She was an amazing person.

Hi Ari-

I know we haven't seen each other for some time now, but I am heartbroken to hear of Sabrina's passing. May your love for her, and cherished memories of her, forever comfort you during the challenging days ahead.

I had fully intended to come out today to visit with you and your family, but there were too many accidents on the road, making driving long and tiresome. 

HUGS
Lori

I am saddened that Sabrina gone too soon... No word I can express but I cherished our friendship....We both went NIU together and we both were roommate.. She was the best roommate I ever had. Sabrina had a big heart for everyone. She was such a sweet, loving, funny, down to earth and wonderful person!! Ari and Sabrina came to our wedding and some parties as well. She is sorely missed!! God bless her life and My heart goes out to Ari and two gorgeous young boys... Love u, Lisa

Our condolences on the loss of your beautiful wife and wonderful mother of your children. We pray for your strength during this saddest of times.

Ari,
 You and your sons are in our thoughts and prayers in this difficult time. We did not know Sabrina very well, having only met Sabrina and you when you came to Florida after Brice was born, then at your brother David's house, and finally at your parents Dan and Eileen's 50th wedding anniversary here in Florida. Nevertheless we were much sadden to hear that Sabrina is gone. Reading about Sabrina's life and looking at her photos brought her to life for us. She did indeed leave this life too soon. Sabrina made the most of the life she had and your love made her the most she could be. May God Bless you always.

Sabrina was a dedicated hard working young woman.she had a special ability to engage our youth. Her attention to detail brought many opportunities to the Y community. Most of all she loved her family and friends. Our hearts are heavy with loss.

Like everyone else i am heart sick about Sabrina's passing and the pain and sorrow Ari, Bryce, and Blake now face. Her wonderful boys (all three of them) were her pride and joy! I'm so very sorry she is no longer with them and that she will not be able to directly share their lives in the future. I treasure the friendship we had and I'm ever grateful for the support she provided down through the years as an active and excellent volunteer for the American Camping Association, Illinios Section. May you rest in Peace beautiful person!

Ari,
 You and your family will be in my prayers!

Ari,
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you during these very difficult times .
Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything at all . ( 847-987-4484)
Stay strong for your kids and use all the support that is offered and needed . Hersey is a great support system !
One day at a time ...
Xoxo karie McClure

Sabrina- You have been a teacher to my children, a mentor to my daughter, guided my son and a wonderful friend to me. I will always see the influence you have had on my children in their eyes and hearts.
Thank you so very much my friend, love you.
Rest in Peace,

My family and I send our condolences on the loss of Sabrina. She was a true leader in the community between the YMCA and Gilbert"s elementary. May you Rest in eternal peace. May God heal and protect your family.

Sabrina was such a wonderful person and I'm so saddened by this news of her passing. My son attended the kindergarten club at the Y last year and he had a hard time adjusting to the swim days. She was so wonderful in helping him acclimate. I spent many times during pick up chatting with her and I can't say enough wonderful things about her. I'm so saddened for her boys and husband. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time.

Sabrina you were such an amazing person, friend, role model to so many. I'm so saddened that you have been taken from us so soon. I have so many wonderful memories of our time together. To Ari and the boys I am so sorry for your loss. I'll miss you Sabrina, know that I am a better person for having known you.

To my sister : I miss you, I love you and will never forget you.

My sister touched more lives than I could ever imagine. From old class mates, roommates, co-workers, friends, family and anyone else that had the privilege of knowing her. From myself and our family we thank you for the tremendous amount of support we have received during these difficult times.  

   THANK YOU

Ari, Our prayers are with you and your family at this time of loss.

Dear Sabrina and Family - We met through the sisterhood that is Tastefully Simple's local small group. I didn't know you well. I didn't get to know your husband or beautiful boys. But I got glimpse of the warm, wonderful, "we will figure it out together" kind of person you were. I am sad and shocked that you are gone and I am thankful for having had a chance to know you at all. Prayers are with your husband, sons, extended family and friends, and that you are already in God's arms in a place where you can watch over them always. You will be missed.

I am so sorry about the loss of Mrs. Sabrina. I didn't know her for long my daughter is in her preschool class. The first day of school I felt comfortable leaving my daughter there because she went by Mrs. Sabrina right away and was happy. Mrs. Sabrina will be missed.

Sabrina, I knew you from NIU, and Ari, also. You were so warm and friendly and I regret not staying in touch after we parted ways. I'm just heartbroken for your family, you have been blessed with two beautiful boys and it sounds like from all the tributes I have read in attempt to catch up that you had been living a very rich and happy life. God bless Ari and the family, may they feel your love through your family and friends forever.

Sabrina, you are gone from this earth way too soon! Working for you at the YMCA was so much fun and it taught me how to be professionally stronger and I made a great friend in the process! Thanks for everything and you will be miss by our world!

Sabrina will be remembered as a kind, warm, caring person that took on so many activities and programs such as YMCA Easter Egg Hunt in Gilberts. She will be truly missed!

I always thought we would have the rest of our lives to watch our children grow up together as cousins. My promise to you: I will make sure our boys continue to make memories together and carry on traditions. I will always remind Braden and Camden what an awesome aunt they had and let Bryce and Blake know how much you loved them!

You may not be here with us physically but your spirit will live on in our hearts forever!