“You Were Always There”
I find myself laughing in the joy of your paradox.
You have managed to obtain the reward of something you fought so hard to avoid…
-center of attention – you never liked it, it was not you, but allow me to focus on our stories told so true.
Don’t roll over in heaven if I share, or if you do, forgive me because I love you and
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
You were there when we first met in college, drawn to each other & forced to acknowledge our similar beings: thank God in His infinite knowledge: he gave us both built-in BS detectors;
Shared ciggies, hesher reunion, convos of boys - whether lame or hot, being misunderstood by sorority-type girls thinking they were superior. But ,Not!
God put us together, bonding forever, every one of us in this spot. Because
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
We talked about it all and more (it wasn’t always G rated)…We ended up bonding for life, a friendship that never faded.
Never about you, always wanting to connect with the humanity in us on some deep level,
And when you did: the world was meaningful, and real, and for a some of us, even monumental . Because
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
After college you went away for graduate study to the cold winter chill of Milwaukee while I walked down the aisle of matrimony.
I know you hated the floral print bride’s maid dress I made you wear, you couldn’t bear
I loved how you told me, Cut to the chase: with your words, with your family, with your friends, with anyone who mattered, it was how you would share. And again,
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
Just before my first child was born you flew out during winter vacation, deciding it would be your job to document this monumentus occasion.
And like everything you did you always gave 200%, snapping pictures like a fashionista photographer at a runway event,
You in the delivery room, camera in hand, every imaginable angle of birthing action by me, girl, I don’t need to tell you there were some pictures I just did NOT need to see. And even then,
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
Time progressed, talks on the phone - I making dinner strapped to a different crying child sharing the woes and joys of family life, you sharing your studies, frustrations, and strife.
A constant about you Sacha, throughout our relationship and to the end, I could tell you anything, share my darkest secrets; you listened, understood and kept them safe because you were my dearest friend. And I know
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
You moved to LA attempting a Phd giving care to your sweet Aunt Betty. Proximity allowed a deeper understanding of friendship for us, but also gave us moments when you were rather demanding , And let’s face it, girl, sometimes you drove me nuts.
Undying devotion you gave to your elder, No one on Earth could have done it better than you. Fortunate and blessed I will feel if my own children give me just half the love and care you shared with her, so true.
You were just that good. The thing about you, Sacha, was, if you were gonna to do something, you were gonna to do it better than anyone else could. She knew
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
You threw yourself into everything you attempted. Remember the days of the phase of your body building craze: lean muscles added to your intellect and beautiful smile made it easy to catch so many gorgeous “fish”, if you get my drift.
One such specimen in particular carried a name as beautiful as his face Sergio, Oh, poor souls who made the mistake of calling him Sergio, such was that debase.
To them a short lecture you would launch very deliberate, regarding the appropriate pronunciation of Latin American names & unacceptable misnomers used be the less culturally literate. I received it because
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
It is true you were tuff, you took no crap, no compromise and if someone was foolish enough to think otherwise, well a verbal exchange would ensue from you, much to their surprise .
I could give the example of the Vegas bachelor party, sharing a single hotel room, you and I, with four other girls (sorority-type), their reaction to your Buddhist chanting, such hype, in the middle of the night, and your response to set them straight and right with all your might. But I won’t dare to share, don’t want you to roll over in heaven, so I’m gonna keep that secret tight.
I loved your strength in those days, I always knew you’d have my back. Hell, you know together we would never lack the ability to take down anyone in an attack.
And inner strength as well, such strong conviction, Countless times I confided to you and you let me have it, telling me your position and pulling me back with logical diction, yet you always managed to convey that you still loved me in any condition… I know
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
And just like Aunt Betty you took care of your friends too, genius in the kitchen through and through, pampering us with special dinners made exclusively by you.
You enjoyed sharing your culinary talents and intellectual banter, a room filled with a cacophony of our words, providing us with special time to get away from the mundane tasks of our own little worlds.
I didn’t learn much in the kitchen growing up, but most of what I know today came from you showing me what to do, just us two, side by side with spices I had no clue. What I wouldn’t give to have you back tonight and make dinner with you.
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
You called me one day on the phone in a very serious tone, I needed to meet Dave; it could not be postponed. It was then I knew it was something important, and so extreme, Sacha you rarely confided in others, and you know what I mean.
A special time that was, a whirlwind of romance and love abetting. In karmic retribution for my floral print dresses you insisted I drive 8 month pregnant across two states and get there alive to be in your wedding . And I was proud to be there for you, it’s true.
Lucky enough to be in the room when your first-born came too. Senna, I watched your mom walk through her entire labor like a caged tiger and then deliver you like it was easiest, but most important thing she was put on this Earth to do. Don’t you all ever forget she loved motherhood through and through.
True to your form bucking the norm, you went full steam ahead to the tune of five of the most beautiful children I have ever been blessed to see. Anyone who saw you and your commitment to your children knew they were your very heart and soul, even when life began to take its toll. And we knew
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
So many poignant moments between these few I have shared with you, we had. Memories I cannot bare to let go of, both precious and painful, happy and sad.
In the last month of your life you allowed our relationship to change, rearrange, reaching out to me more than you had ever before.
To your children I say today, never forget her infinite love as she most surely looks down on you watching you from above. Infinite love because
SHE IS THERE FOR YOU
Sasha was who she was and we all are who we are, and that is nothing short of human. She just wanted to be a superhero in a world filled with flaws where no man or woman can withstand a perfection ideal so grand.
I thank you so much, dear Sacha, for being my friend until the bitter end, God help my heart mend; I will always honor your love, integrity, conviction, intelligent wit, firey grit, I will never forget.
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
