Samantha loved the book series - A Series of Unfortunate Events - by Lemony Snicket.  It is rather ironic that one of her favorite authors is so relatable to her now. 

Here are some quotes from Lemony Snicket.  Don't expect happy quotes, but Lemony does remind us that even amidst depression & death we can always return to love.

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
 
"They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it isn’t so."

"At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey."

"I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."

"One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant."

At a family reunion we all were taking turns doing skits. I wanted a video of my family's so I asked Samantha to take it for me. Because she was filming you can clearly hear her laugh a few times.

The story of Samantha Margaret Lewis by McKenna Davis 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6XhM3SX5g8&feature=youtu.be

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Samantha was too young to really remember our first dog except towards the end of his life when he was old and not much fun.  But she was still the one who showed compassion towards an old, dying dog.  A few years ago her dad got another dog, Patches.  She loved him right away.  Every time she came home from college she spent some time with Patches.  Patches is a pit bull mix and can look a bit intimidating to those who are afraid of that breed or are too far away to notice his one floppy ear.  We all think he is a pretty cool dog. 

One day I came home from work and Samantha said, "Mom, come see what I taught Patches to do!"  I came over and saw that Samantha had a dog treat in her hand and that Patches was sitting obediently in front of her, waiting.  All of the sudden Samantha said, "Twirl Patches" and our barrel-chested pit bull dog twirled and jumped up to catch the treat Samantha dropped into his mouth.  We laughed, made Patches do it again and again.  It was adorable!  Only my adorable daughter would have thought to teach a pit bull to twirl. Only she would think to put antlers on Patches and make him a reindeer at Christmas.

She also walked my co-worker Cindy's dog, Lola.  Lola is a cute little thing of a dog but was sometimes stubborn about going for her walks.  Samantha figured out, with some strategy on Cindy's part, how to get Lola out on a walk.  At some point I learned from Cindy that Samantha had also taught Lola to twirl.  Now Cindy remembers the best of an adorable young lady by occasionally asking Lola to twirl.  I do that with Patches too. You can't help but smile when you see a dog twirl!

Patti Lewis 

Samantha:

The first time I saw you...

When I found out I was pregnant with you I have to be honest and say I was surprised and a bit unsure.  I knew that I would love you with all my heart but I wondered if I could do it well.  Did I have the capacity to parent another child who deserved the best of me?  But what I discovered was that you made it easy, that you were truly a gift.  You gave me an opportunity I had not expected to relax, to play, to enjoy life at a time when I really needed that.

When I had you I got the opportunity to work from home for about a year and be with you the first year of your life in a way I had not been able to with your brother and sisters.  You were born in May and so we had the whole summer ahead of us.  Your dad would go off to work and the other kids to school.  I would work in the morning and then in the afternoon I would gather you up and take you to the swimming pool.  That is where I discovered that you were a fish, a water baby.  You loved the water and the sunshine and never seemed to tire of being there.  At first I would just sit in the water and hold you or help you float on top of the water.  As you got a bit older you would splash and play in the water and were so delighted by it all.  Then you wanted to jump out of my arms and swim.  You took to it so easily.  Once you had gotten your fill, I would lay out a blanket on the grass and read a book while you slept nearby. 

I loved it because I got a chance to relax, to enjoy the simple things, to renew my spirit and outlook on life.  I reveled in you and your development.  I got to see your first smile, hear your first giggle and spent a year full of love and cuddling, smiles and giggling as we swam and played and bonded.

You didn't like knowing that you were a surprise baby but I hope you eventually knew, that for me, saying that was expressing my gratitude for you.  The long lasting effect of that first year together is that for the 20 years you were in my life I always looked forward to being with you, you kept me young at heart, you brought out the best in me.  I never took you for granted because I realized very early on that you were my wonderful, amazing surprise.

The last time I saw you...

At your memorial, your cousin Dee shared part of a letter you had written to him on his mission.  It was right before you were going off to college and you talked about how hard it was going to be to leave home because you and I had become so close over the last year.  I was excited for you to go off to college and it wasn't until we had moved you in, said goodbye and I had come all the way back home that I felt what it was going to be like to miss you.  I walked into your room at home, sat down on your bed and cried.  I would miss you over and over again while you were away at college and that is why I so looked forward to your visits home. 

We would arrange your ride on Amtrak or with Kaley and I always wanted to be the one to pick you up.  I so looked forward to the first sight of you, the first hug, the "Hi Mom, I love you.  Guess what?"  I found ways to spend as much time with you as I could.  Even the errands to replace makeup, worn clothes and such were heaven. That is when you would put on "Mom's playlist" and we would sing on our way somewhere together.  It reminded me of our year together before you left for college. 

Again, I always wanted to be there to send you back to Chico.  I wanted your last memory, your last thought of home to be of me giving you a big hug and saying, "I love you" right before you got on the Amtrak train or went into Kaley's house.

The last time I saw you we were at the Amtrak station.  I had given you my hug, said, "I love you" and gotten back in the car to watch you get on the train.  I never left until I saw you get on the train.  You walked up to the train door, waited for some people on front of you to get on and then were told this was the wrong car for you to get onto the train.  So you began walking down the platform looking for an open door.  Instinctively, I got out of the car, went over near the train so that I could watch you walk down the platform and make sure you got on.  You walked and walked to the very front of the train and I remember having a momentary wish that you would miss your train and I would have more time with you. 

I saw you talk to the train conductor and get on the train.  I walked back to the car.  Even though I saw you get on, I texted you and asked, "Did you make it on?"  Your response - "Yup".  "Cool, I said, safe travels all the way home.  Love ya!"

If I had known then that this would be the last time I saw you, I would have held on tight and kept you close.  But I didn't know that you needed so much more than to make it onto that train.

Samantha, I miss you!  I will miss you every day for the rest of my life!

Mom

I wrote the following letter to Samantha when she was 11.  Man did I love that girl!







Samantha,
I'd like to express how much I love you today - Valentine's Day.

I'm sorry to say it but its true, When a child is born there's not much to them.  Sure, they're cute and their parents and family love them.  But, babies don't have much going on.

It takes years for a child to grow into the person they'll become.  I know, 11 years seems like a life-time (well, in your case it is).  But you'll find that it takes more than 11 years to grow.

And I am glad to see that you are growing into a person I can be proud of because some of me is in you.

You remember a couple of years ago I told you that grown-ups had to learn to be patient and flexible?  And then I saw you becoming more patient and flexible.  That's the influence for good that parents want to be.  That's what makes us proud.

But there is something else that makes parents proud - seeing their kid develop their own personality.

Here's an example: You love doing well in school - I didn't (not until I was an adult anyway).  This is an example of your developing your own personality - you didn't get it from me that's for sure.  And this personality is good!  Really good!  Something to be proud of.

And I am glad to see that you are growing into a person I can be proud of because some of you is just you.

So, you are becoming your own person and I love the person you are becoming.

I love you.
Dad

A few years later she wrote me the following Valentine note.

Dear Dad,
I want to thank you for all of the things you've done for me.  If I could I wouldn't replace you for anything.  It's not very often that someone has a cool dad that looks like Jesus.  I love having you as my dad!  I love how we always go on bike rides.  Not all dads have time especially if they're business dads.  I think that if all the dads in the world were lined up you would be the coolest.  I love how we both love the same things like nature, bike rides, and hiking through nature.  I want to thank you for all those things and more.  If I lived without you I would be very sad and miserable.  I don't think I could live without you and I'm so glad that I have you in my life.  I really love you and I want to thank you for everything.

Filled with love and care,
Samantha

Samantha, I am so sorry you ended up in such a dark place that you forgot how very sad and miserable I'd be without YOU.

Samantha, stay with me. 

I wrote this short, very short story (more of an allusion) about a man coming to grips with the sentimentality of becoming a father - a real man.

Many parts of this story are true but, to be honest, I never really had to come to grips with becoming a father because I cherished the experience.  And by the time Samantha came along I was fully aware of how much a gift she was.


I'm a family man - a wife and four kids, three girls and one boy.  I may not tell them I love them, but they know.

My wife leaves my bag lunch by the front door every morning and this morning something was written on the bag.

She's done it before.  You know, "I love you" messages in black felt tip pen.  Once she wrote, "Hunka Man."  I was real careful about that one - right to the bottom of the frig at work.  Message side down so no-one would see.

This morning's message was different.  "Samantha's Daddy," written clearly, legibly, still in black felt tip pen, by my wife.  Samantha's two and a half.

On the way to work the bag sat on the truck seat kinda staring at me in a Samantha kinda way - all cute and giggly.  I looked over at it maybe a half dozen times on the way to work.  Thinking.

Its strange, a couple days ago I read something by an author I like.  He's won some awards for his stuff, but it just sounds like normal life to me.  Nothing special but I like it anyway.  He was talking about some fancy writer who said that by the time somebody's 20 they can spend the rest of their life writing about it.  Well this guy, Mr. Outdoorsman, said that was a bunch of crap.  That his whole life practically began when he had kids.  That he could barely remember anything before he was twenty.

I never read anything about any of his kids.  He writes about hunting, fishing, smoking, drinking and women.  Like I said normal stuff.

Anyways, here I was Monday morning, 6:35 a.m., driving my old Chevy truck, with a brown bag that says "Samantha's Daddy."  Thinking.

At work I opened the crisper drawer on the bottom of the refrigerator as usual.  But closed it without putting the bag in.  I put the bag right up front in the middle of the top shelf, message out because I'm Samantha's Daddy.           

 

Samantha had a beautiful spirit that all little children gravitated toward.  She made them feel special, interesting and loved.  It's this type of person that helps everyone feel included and noticed.  We miss her tremendously. 

I think there are two things that when I see them they will always remind me of you.  One is a music note because of all the music and singing we shared.  The other is a tree.  Not just because of your orchard, but because of the New Mexico trip we took together.  It was you, your Dad and me on a spring break trip together.  We had so much fun on that trip!  One day we decided to take a walk down this canyon to the Rio Grande.  As we were walking along we suddenly heard a big cracking sound and as we turned to look a huge tree fell and crashed into the canyon.  We were so amazed and then began laughing as you said, "I saw a tree fall in the forest and it DID make a sound!"  We would recall that shared experience every once and awhile and laugh, laugh, laugh. It was as if no one else in the world but us three had ever had that experience.  Trees and Samantha, yep.

Mom 

I first met Samantha when I was in high school with her sister Afton. Samantha was the cutest little girl, always smiling and warm to those around her. You can tell that she was loving and sweet to everyone she met. I didn't see Samantha for a few years until after I graduated from college, and Afton asked me if I would be Samantha's mentor for her high school senior project. I was amazed at what a beautiful young woman she had grown into, in what felt like such a short time to me! I was so impressed with her creativity, her thoughtfulness, and how mature she seemed. She struck me as a wonderful balance of someone who was wise beyond her years, and someone who embodied the passion and excitement of just entering adulthood. I didn't get to spend much time with Samantha, but the time I did spend with her made me proud, and I could see the bright warm glow that everyone who is missing her right now has been writing about. Rest peacefully, sweet girl. Your warmth and love live on, and I know you will not be forgotten-- you remain in my heart and mind now and forever. I hope the sweet memories of you brighten the hearts of your family and friends, especially when they are missing you most. 

Thinking of you and your family.

My Darling Samantha
I was so honored when your parents gave you my name as your middle name.  It has been wonderful sharing a name with you.  You have always been the sweetest, most genuine person.  Around me, you were always quiet and reserved.  But your beautiful smile was always there.  I have been looking at all your school pictures.  They are now covering my refrigerator.  You are just beautiful and always have been.  I have had the thought run through my mind that maybe you were just too good for this earth.
I was so glad that you would urge your parents to bring you to our Campouts and family reunions.  Your cousins just loved getting to know you and loved you so much.  I think you were about the only cousin that wrote to Dee on his mission and that meant alot to him.  You always loved the younger children in the family and latched on to them.  You even share a birthday with young Tanner.  You are just special in every way and my heart will forever be broken.  How I wish I could tell you one more time how much I love you, but perhaps you know that.  I know you are now in a beautiful and glorious place, surrounded by other family members who have gone on before, and that does comfort me.
Love is eternal, my darling Samantha.

Grandma Davis 

The Lewis Family was a second family to me during my high school years. Afton  was my best friend and along with that friendship, I felt Samantha was like the little sister I never had. When I was at the Lewis' to hang out with Afton from slumber parties, baking cookies, making breakfast, geting ready for a winter ball, watching movies, playing games, and just hanging around- you know high school things - Samantha was always there. And never in a negative way, but to be involved in a positive way. She was always curious (in a polite manner) about what we were doing, helping us out, lending her ear. She was always so sweet and wanting to serve on us and would even give us massages. Anyone who has had the pleasure knows that a Samantha massage was a great massage. 

Some of my favorite memories with Samantha were on two annual camping trips with the Lewis' for Afton's bdays. I feel it was almost thirteen and twelve years ago around this time. The Lewis' were kind (and brave) enough to take a bunch of teenagers camping. On both trips, Samantha was right by our side - hanging out with the girls. Keeping our secrets as we played cruel games on the boys, playing board games, helping with the fire, showing me around the beach/campsite, she and Afton taught me how to make a banana boat, she fit in with us big kids with such confidence. She always complemented the situation.

When I would come home from college, I remember visiting the Lewis' and saw that was Samantha growing up. It was difficult for me to grasp that she wasn't the baby anymore but a young lady. I remember interogating/bombarding her with questions like "How's school? What are you taking? How do you like your teachers? Are people being nice to you?" She would laugh at me and say "Yes, Beth, everything is good!" 

Samantha was fiercly indepedent, confident, beautiful, and a joy to be around.

I send all of my love to Samantha and to her wonderful family.  

One summer Samantha, our dad, our mom, and I went to Cherry Lake (right outside of Yosemite National Park) to go camping. I cannot recall why Christina and Blake did not come, sometimes the responsibilities of being an adult don't lend themselves to summer camping trips. 

I really loved this trip and still hold it in my heart, specifically because Samantha and I did not have all that many times in our young adult/adult lives that just her and I spent a lot of time just with each other. I moved out of my parents house in 2006 for college at CSU Chico and did not come back to live with them for much time at all thereafter, so often I felt that I was watching my sister grow into an adult from afar.

While on this trip Samantha and I decided to explore the forest near our campsite, in true Lewis fashion. Eventually we found a trail and followed it until we reached an amazing view: several boulders had fallen onto each other, creating a puzzle of rock that led down to the waterlevel of Cherry Lake. Upon looking at this treck down to the water we said "challenge accepted!"

We eagerly climbed down each boulder, finding little waterfalls, dead birds, intricate roots, and finally at the bottom.....a rope swing. Apparently our "amazing discovery" had been discovered and enjoyed before.

We walked excitedly up the boulders and back to our campsite to tell our parents what we had found. The very next day we took them to the same site and the 4 of us climbed down each boulder while Samantha and I explained each amazing thing we had found the day before.

About half way down the boulders we rediscovered a beautiful waterfall and decided to wet our hair in it because it was hot! Samantha did this with plenty of grace. I on the other hand finished off my head drench with a fall that Samantha suprisingly caught on camera, before busting up with laughter. 

I remember vividly loving that both me and my sister had shared this moment, just the two of us. We were forever joined through our sense of adventure, enthusiasm, love for nature. We had discovered a "secret" boulder wonderland, and that would always in my heart be "our place". 

Even though I cannot physically share this again with you Samantha, I will always have "our place" and this happy memory in my heart.   

I had this note saved in my phone for a rainy day when you were feeling down, little did I know I would be sending it too late.
 
 
I keep thinking of all the times we would litterally tie ourselves together when we were younger so we could be joined at the hip. We would wrap one of our arms around each others hip and you would use one arm to maneuver, I would use the other. Our legs would have a ribbon wrapped around them so we had to master walking which was quite hilarious. It would be hours of laughter and we'd never get sick of it. The bathroom always broke our bond though, I did not want to be connected to you for that. We've been linked ever since. On the weekends shopping with mom we'd do it in the store, or walking around on many of our amusement park trips, or when you would come home from Chico and we'd roam the town. All of this of course without the ribbon, we mastered it at this point. It never seemed odd to me because this is how our sisterhood started and how we became best friends. 

Its hard to function without my other half and my ribbon feels broken but we will always and forever be best friends. I have and always will cherish our moments together.

Sweet dreams, 
Sissy Poo (as you so gracefully put in your phone with a poop emoji)