It has been 27 months. In that time, I can count on one hand how many times you've visited me. I woke up yesterday from one of those visits. I was confused and troubled. We were in a place and watching some sort of entertainment. I heard you laughing so many times. But when the singer pointed you out, dedicating a beautiful song to you (I can't remember the song any more), you ran out. And I ran after you. Entered a dark, scary building and you were there. But scary looking angry men wouldn't let us near each other. Words were exchanged and they relented. We then embraced and I carried you to a white room with a white bed and laid you down. I wanted to just stay in this dream with you. But I couldn't hold on to it. :( See me some more please, Love.

20230304 I've heard it said so many times, read it in so many places that grief lessens over time. NOT TRUE. And it is unbearable agony going through every single second of every single day. It seems like you have been forgotten. I don't really believe that. Maybe everyone else can carry on without you. I am still finding my way. To you, Love. Until that day, I shall know no peace.

part 2:

pls haunt me somewhere and give me a sign on what to do with my hair (pls don't say pink. that's creepy) - cass

hey bff of megan thee stallion, doja cat, lil huddy, ed sheeran

miss u bestie <3 hope u hear taylor every time i listen to her, i make sure it's loud enough for you to hear HAHAHHA anyway, my fav song is labyrinth . i think you wouldn't have a favorite bc u'd love every single track anw. there's a (RUMORED) concert soon, so i wish you were here to see taylor live esp knowing you were salty since the last time she went here was during her red tour .

anyway, i genuinely hope ure okay wherever you are. please keep bringing spiders everywhere i go ;'[ and visit me again in my dreams OR move something around my room HASUASHUSA,, the right space on my bed is always yours ! ALSO ur toothbrush is still here HAHHAHAHAH miss you every second of the day :) sleepover soon . love you always

Happy 17th Birthday Sam! We know you are in a better place now, celebrating your birthday up there. I will always remember you as my first best friend. ❤️ I should have cherished the last time we saw each other six years ago, and I wish I wasn’t so shy to see you. I do have regrets, but I will never regret the friendship we had. I miss and love you always.
- Alyssa

Hi there, Sam! We know you're in a good place now, and surely, you are celebrating your eternal peace and joy. Send hugs and kisses to your mom, dad and kuya!

Happy Birthday, Sam! Hope you can feel the love everybody’s sending your way. You will always be special. We love and miss you.

Hi, our little angel!

Happy happy 17th birthday!! ❤️ How are you? Have you blown your candle already?

I’ve been thinking and dreaming of you lately… Days ago, we went to the beach and the sky was so beautiful. The sea was calm. The weather was great. And you were all I thought of during that 3-day stay. I’d like to think you were there watching over us. I’d wake up early to watch the sunrise and greet you good morning, and I’d thank you for the beautiful day as the sun set. Everything about that place just reminded me of you.

Sam, it’s tough celebrating without you here. But even if we’re not together, I hope you’re having a blast up there!

You have no idea how much we love and miss you, our Samantha. Hugs and kisses!

Happiest Birthday Sam!

I hope you're celebrating your big one-seven up there. I'm pretty sad that we don't have much photos together, especially during the time when we were a bit more grown-up. But that's okay. I wouldn't need physical copies of photos to remember you. I'd just have to think about the stuff we laughed at, the times I saw you walking around the school, the weird conversations we had, your exquisite taste in music, and the other things that remind me of you.

I keep a picture of you in my wallet and by my desk all the time. And I can't wait to finally bring you to campus with me! We miss and love you always Sam!!!

Hi Sam!

Today would’ve been your 17th. I know you’re in a better place with God, and I’m sure you’re celebrating with Him. We’ll also celebrate your birthday like we always did, Sam. It will never be the same without you, but I’m at peace knowing that you’re in God’s arms.

Whenever I look at the sky, you’re the first person that comes into my mind. I will always miss how contagious and genuine your laugh is, how you’d always light up my mood whenever I’m down, and how much of a happy person you are, Sam. We may not be able to create more memories together, but I’ll always cherish those nine years of friendship with you.

Please look over us up there and help our hearts heals. Happy 17th birthday!

Til we meet again, Sam! I love you always

Hey Sam.
This is all still surreal. We live just about a minute away from each other yet we weren't able to see each other as often as we wanted.
As it is your birthday, I'd rather just think about our memories. We were never the kind of friends that hangout on weekends. We were more of after-school friends which most of our memories are eating out after school, missing the bus service, driving thru. I remember the time you got mad at me for eating out alone and didn't bring you guys any food. Lol sorry about that XD
We also used to be in charge of making the intrams banner. Jeez we were lame at it ahahaha
I do miss talking to you. We always have juicy gossips. Happy birthday! Love you and miss you!

Sam,

I honestly dont know where to start. I still cant accept that everything happened so quick. I still see things as ‘unfair’ sometimes because I wish this didnt happen at all, but all I know is that you’re way better up there.

Every birthday of our group is celebrated each year, we make plans on where to go and what to do. It feels a lot different now because we can’t be with you physically, but I promise you that we’d make your birthday and the rest of your birthdays worth it.

I know you’d laugh up there because were gonna make sure we’d fill your day with laughter, even if its the hardest thing to do with the fact that you’re gone.

Everytime our group takes a photo, we make sure we leave a space for you, we then edit your face with it, sounds funny but it makes us feel comfortable doing that cause we could really feel you with us.

We miss you, sam! I pray you have all the food u love up there. I know God is celebrating with you.

Happy birthday! We love you!! ❤️❤️

How do I say happy birthday to you today my baby? 

You know I'm always the first one to greet you. You'll always smile or laugh at me whenever I say, I'm the first one to greet you ha? Now I can only imagine you do either of the two.

I will forever miss you, Sam, I will forever miss preparing for your birthdays even if you didn't want to celebrate your birthdays anymore with us. I would insist because I want you to know and feel that we love you so much every day, especially on your birthday.

Help me, Sam. Help us survive this life without you.

I love you, my baby. Forever and always <3 <3 <3

In my world of darkness, you were the last light to enter my life, and then the first to leave. But oh, what a light. So full. So bright. An angel.

You had it all, except for a good enough daddy. So I still have no words. You are My Love. Forever.

For those who never got to experience Sam, she was a bubbly, happy baby. A cute, curious, intelligent, loquacious toddler who grew up to be smart, wise-beyond-her-years, talented, eloquent, funny, profound and beautiful young lady. She was full of life. She was academically gifted and had no compunctions to try out and engage other interests, like cheer dancing, volleyball, and other sports, games and hobbies like looms. She loved to read anything and everything. She taught herself how to play guitar and piano. To skateboard. She loved animals and empathized with them. She had 5 tarantulas. Wanted to keep a snake as a pet. Later on, a mouse too. She loved spiders and bugs. She wrote. Meaningfully. Beautifully. She sketched. Beautifully. She painted. Beautifully. She had a wonderful singing voice. Her smile would light up a room, anybody's day. She loved her friends and her special someone unabashedly, unapologetically. She gave her entire self. And always tried to add to herself so she could give more and more.

Her laughter was genuine, infectious. The most beautiful sound I always longed to hear. Having serious conversations with her was always an unburdening experience. Catharsis. And coming away with new perspectives and emotions.

It will be your 17th birthday on earth soon, and we won't be able to go on our traditional date. My tears are boundless. My life is seeping away.

I miss you so much. I pine for you, Love.

I need you.

In my heart and soul, I fervently hope you are happy.

I LOVE you LOVE. With all that I was. With all that is left of me.

To my one and only Sam...You know how much i love you... I love you with all my heart and whatever is left of me. I am foever broken for losing you. I will foever long for you, long for everything, your memories and the future that we could have shared, my Samantha.

I hope you are happy now. I can't wait to see you again my baby.

I miss you every second of every day, Sam!

I love you ❤❤❤

Your Mommy