I want to thank Sandee's friends for their posts, stories, and photos on her memorial web page. They nicely capture her spirit and sense of humor (including the dark side tinge) and how much she meant to so many people. These posts mean a lot to Kate, Erin and me, and they will help our grandchildren appreciate just how special a person she was.
I met Sandee in 1976 when we were both at Yale. In 1977, Sandee moved back to LA and in 1978 I moved to Pittsburgh, to assume a faculty position at Pitt. Our moving at the same time led us to strike up correspondence. Eventually, I built up the courage and asked her if she would like to join me in Pittsburgh. Amazingly, she said yes, and in early 1980, she, her daughter Erin, and their cat Daphne made the move to Pittsburgh. Sandee and I married in May of that year. Our daughter Kate was born the following year.
Sandee was immensely supportive of me in my scientific career, but at the same time she taught me the importance of balance in life (i.e., the importance of family and friends and taking time to explore when traveling, etc.). We especially enjoyed the travel that we were able to do together. This includes extended stays in Salt Lake City, Boulder, Manchester, UK, Canberra, Australia, plus a year outside Washington DC, while I was working at the National Science Foundation. There were many shorter trip to Norway, Italy, Ireland, Germany, New Zealand, Iceland, Sweden, France, the Czech Republic, Japan, and Switzerland. Almost every one of our trips had surprises and led to stories that we would tell for years to come. And, of course, there were many trips to visit Erin and Kate, and their families, in the various places that they lived.
Many of the posts on the memorial page have commented on Sandee's dedication to her family. She was always there for Erin, Kate, and me, as well as for other members of our extended family when needed. When I experienced serous back problems four years ago, Sandee drove me to numerous doctor's appointments as well as to physical therapy until I was able to do this on my own. When Sandee learned that she had pancreatic cancer three years ago, her first thoughts were how to maximize time with family and friends. As noted in my Shiva post, Sandee was able to make two trips to the UK, one to Houston where Erin and family live, and two to Virginia Beach where Kate and Family live, two trips to the UK, including a girls only trip with Kate, Erin, Leah and Jordan and a road trip to New England to visit friends in Vermont and family in Massachusetts. The second trip to the UK, was by the two us, and we first went to York (which Sandee very much enjoyed) where I was attending a meeting, and then down to London. When her friends the Mineos, and Kathrine (our former exchange student) learned that Sandee was going to be in London, they booked flights to be able to get together with us there (and Kathrine was accompanied by her sister and parents). This reflects on how much Sandee was loved by her friends. We were both very moved by this. In addition, this trip gave us a chance to get together with the Earls and Christies, whom we knew from when they were in Pittsburgh.
Our close friend Khrys said to me that "if anything, Sandee become more fully like Sandee after learning she had cancer". Although that statement may seem strange, it is on the mark. If anything, Sandee's zest for life was even greater over the past three years. Even in the last month of her life, Sandee was planning new trips to Europe and in the US. I will so much miss not being able to undertake these with her. But I do hope to undertake some of the trips, especially those to visit friends, that we had been discussing, once it is safe to travel again. I know that she would want me to.