I will never forget my dearest friend - Sandra lives on in my heart and beautiful memories of her come to my mind constantly. She enriched my life beyond measure is remembered with love

Treasured forever!

Taken at wedding of a friend at Richmond Gospel Hall.

Taken at wedding of a friend at Richmond Gospel Hall.

I loved my friend

I loved my friend.
(S)he went away from me.
There's nothing more to say.
The poem ends,
Soft as it began- I loved my friend.

-Langston Hughes 

ONE DAY

 
One day I will say

the gift I once had has been taken.

The place I have made for myself

belongs to another.

The words I have sung

are being sung by the ones

I would want.

 
Then I will be ready

for that voice

and the still silence in which it arrives.

And if my faith is good

then we’ll meet again

on the road

and we’ll be thirsty,

and stop

and laugh

and drink together again

from the deep well of things as they are.

-David Whyte

A Tribute to Sandra

To say a light has gone out is not enough,

This light of many forms,

A flashlight, illuminating a path through darkness

A light in the window, calling the homeless home

A stadium light, revealing secrets of the night

A new green fluorescent bulb, coiled in complex circles to out-glow and out-last the incandescents

Or bright, summer sunlight, burning itself up in sustaining others

And then there is the soft glow of campfire framing each face in a golden hue

 
Or the raging fire burning all that needs to be forgotten

And last, there is the tiny, sweet light of a birthday candle, so small, yet so important it grants wishes to all who blow on it the ruach of spirit

 
The heat of one candle has passed, the sun is hidden by clouds,

And the light is now cast on you, on me, on all the crowds of people who felt her warmth, who shared her light

 
Good night, sweet Sandra, good night.

Dear Mum,

As we approach the end of our time together, I wanted to write you a letter of love and gratitude.  I wanted you to know how deeply and profoundly you have influenced my life and how thankful I am for all that you are and all that you have been to me.  You have always been my rock and yet my soft place to fall.  You have guided me with unconditional love, encouraging me to be the best ‘me’ I can be.  You have taught me so many things…SO many things: the value of listening; the importance of strength and character and loyalty; the gift of giving; the significance of learning and wisdom; the power of surrounding yourself with strong & positive women; and the worth of spirituality, just to name a few…

Despite all my shortcomings, you have always made me feel like the most special person in the world.  If my heart broke, you helped me pick up the pieces.  If I felt I couldn’t go on, you were there to cheer me on.  If I had a problem to solve, you helped me find my own solution.  If I had a victory, you were there to celebrate with or for me.  You always had time for me and listened.  No one has loved me like you have.

So, thank you for being my mother and my friend and for enveloping me in your love every day of my life.  When your body can no longer go on I will miss you until eternity.  But please know that you will be in my heart always and you will forever be my inspiration - the wind beneath my wings. 

I love you Mamma xxxxxxx

February 25, 2013 

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in gloom-filled rooms,
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little--but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low;
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And busy your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me - but let me go.

I Give You This One Thought 

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still - I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still - in each new dawn.

Dear Michelle & family, 

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful mum.She always made me feel so warm and welcome in your home and on your family holidays to Lorne.

Our thoughts and love are with you, Jen

Sandra was a welcoming presence when Toni and I moved to Enid in 1994. Her home was always open to us and our children as they made their adjustments from Missouri to Oklahoma. I am grateful for the privilege of having known Sandra for these years with the many stories we shared. My condolences to all of the Tabbernees and related on her death with the assurance of God's comfort and eternal care.

John Imbler   Mar 20, 2013 Tulsa, OK USA   
 

Sandra would always make every individual feel that they were the most important person in the room.
A very special lady.

Terry Henrie   Mar 20, 2013 Philip, SD   
   

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Sandra was a delight. Kind and funny. She made you feel like family the moment she met you. I know she will be badly missed. But I also know that she is home now.

John Kingston   Mar 20, 2013 St. Louis, MO

There is a moment in life when all masks are stripped away and the reality of our mortality confronts. One such moment for Sandra occurred immediately after she had surgery to resection a tumour when she was hospitalised in Plymouth. It was September 2012 and I was privileged to be at her bedside with Jason while her surgeon told her that the tumour was malignant and aggressive, that as much as possible had been removed but there was not a margin of safety around it. At that existential moment I observed Sandra's strength and courage: she did not flinch but accepted this reality that could not be changed. She did not bemoan her fate, instead with a quiet mindfulness and a sense of peace with the inevitable said that she knew that she was going to die and then immediately she expressed her concern for her family. This is the strong Sandra who has contributed to our lives in ways that were sometimes beyond her comprehension and we bless her and are inspired. Thank you my dear 'soul sister' and friend! Sandra will be forever missed, but lives on in her wonderful children, grandchildren and all of us.

Our prayers are with you and your family.

John & Jill Breeze   Mar 18, 2013 Sherman, TX USA
       

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Jason. May you take this time to reflect on your mums life and the blessings and memories that will always remain.

Michelle DeCosta   Mar 17, 2013 China, ME USA
      

Fondly remembering Sandra.  She was always gracious and fun to be with.  
I'm glad I knew her.

Connie Inglish   Mar 17, 2013 Bartlesville, OK United States
     

With great respect and fondness for Sandra and our sympathy with her family.
Vic and Lynette Hunter

Vic and Lynette Hunter   Mar 17, 2013 Lakewood, CO USA  
   

My deepest sympathies to a wonderful family. My thoughts are with you during this sad time and the lose of an extraordinary woman, wife, mother and grandmother.

Katie Sykes   Mar 16, 2013 Melbourne, - Other - Australia 
    

We are saddened by Sandra's passing.  She was a lovely and gracious person and will be greatly missed.

Jim & Von Prichard   Mar 16, 2013 Greeley, CO USA  
   

Sandra had a warm and openly hospitable nature that we remember well from our student days at Glen Iris ('76-79). This then seemed to grow deeper and more welcoming as the years unfolded. Sad news ...

Alan and Chris Niven   Mar 16, 2013 Melbourne  AUSTRALIA

May God tenderly bless each of you as she holds you in the palm of her hand and shares your grief!
Blessings, Loma Sullivan, Assoc. Regional Minister, Oklahoma

Loma Sullivan   Mar 19, 2013 Oklahoma City, OK United States 
    

Nic's Mum was such a beautiful woman, inside and out.  Her influence and guidance will live on in her amazing children and grandchildren who were blessed to have had her in their lives. Peace be with the family.

Allison Papastathis   Mar 19, 2013 Naperville, IL USA 
    

Sandra was a wonderful person, talented and kind, and I know that you and your family have suffered a great loss. My deepest sympathy.

Marilyn Dorsey   Mar 19, 2013 Hoffman Estates, IL  
    

I shed a tear as I read a Facebook message from my dearest old friend that Sandra had passed away. I have very fond memories of the wonderful mum your were. You were always so kind and gentle. I'm sure all the years gone by since I've been part of your lives have brought your family loads of wonderful memories. My sincerest condolences to you and families Nic. Xxx Natalie Miller

Natalie Miller   Mar 19, 2013 Melbourne , IL Australia
     

I was saddened to hear of Sandra's passing.  She was a warm, gracious and loving woman and will be very much missed.  My prayers are with her family at this time.

Glynthea Finger   Mar 18, 2013 Salzburg  Austria
     

To Jason, and the whole Tabbernee family:
My prayers are and have been with you all during this time of great sorrow.  The mark of a beautiful human being is how much they are loved and remembered by others, especially their family.  Knowing this, and from what else I have gathered about her, Sandra was a wonderful woman.  The Lord will consider heaven even more rich.  My prayer is that you all are comforted and have peace.
Jason - If you need anything brother, don't hesitate to let me know.

Jeremy Brown   Mar 18, 2013 Canton, ME USA
     

Jason & Family,
May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared, comfort you now and in the days ahead.
"In darkness, The beauty of stars and constellations Will be admired all the more now Your dearest mother is up there Shining like a bright star."

TaJindah K. James   Mar 18, 2013 Gardiner , ME 
     

Jason,  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. It sounds like she enjoyed life and made the best out of each day. May your memories of her get you through this season and help bring you peace at this time. If you need anything at all let me know.

Chris O'Grady   Mar 18, 2013 Windsor, ME 
     

So sorry to hear about your Mom- I can only imagine what a beautiful soul she was from all that you have told me. I wish you peace and strength.

Stacey Soucy   Mar 18, 2013 Augusta, ME 04330 
    

My friend Sandra, I am so greatful we made contact after so many years. What a joy to remember our youth. You were one very special lady. May God hold you in the palm of His hand. My thoughts and prayers are with you Nicole, Jason and Michelle. I will light the candle, and remember with love. Dorothy.

Dorothy Smith   Mar 18, 2013 Melbourne, IL Australia

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Your Mom was a wonderful fun loving women. She was taken too soon from us, but she is at peace now.  I will forever remember the beautiful Christmas stocking she made for me to match the rest of my family's stockings. Hugs and kisses to you all.

I was so shocked and saddened by this news.  I was in consultation group with Sandra and loved her input.  She was a lovely, delightful and warm colleague and friend and she is greatly missed.  I send my deepest condolences to all her family and loved ones.  She left wonderful, loving energy and will be greatly missed. 

Jo Ann Howse, MS, LPC, LMFT

With great respect and fondness for Sandra and our sympathy with her family.
Vic and Lynette Hunter

Vic and Lynette Hunter   Mar 17, 2013 Lakewood, CO USA     

My deepest sympathies to a wonderful family. My thoughts are with you during this sad time and the lose of an extraordinary woman, wife, mother and grandmother.

Katie Sykes   Mar 16, 2013 Melbourne, - Other - Australia
     

We are saddened by Sandra's passing.  She was a lovely and gracious person and will be greatly missed.

Jim & Von Prichard   Mar 16, 2013 Greeley, CO USA  
   

Sandra had a warm and openly hospitable nature that we remember well from our student days at Glen Iris ('76-79). This then seemed to grow deeper and more welcoming as the years unfolded. Sad news ...

Alan and Chris Niven   Mar 16, 2013 Melbourne  AUSTRALIA

Jason ,
If there is even a single thing I can do to offer you my help in this stressful time, I would consider myself lucky and honored. Please accept my deepest condolences. Stay strong Mate.
KNP

Kevin N. Pollard   Mar 16, 2013 Waterville, ME Kennebec
     

Sandra's passing from this life leaves me both sad and very grateful that I knew her while she lived in Oklahoma.  Many prayers for her family.  
Nancy Claire Pittman

Nancy Pittman   Mar 16, 2013 Broken Arrow, OK United States
     

Michelle, Jason and Nicole -   Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.  Your mother was such a loving, caring and thoughtful person and I feel blessed to have had the chance to meet her several times over the years.  She will always be with you looking over you.  God bless your Mum and all those who loved her. I know she will be greatly missed.

Juli Donoflio   Mar 16, 2013 Cape Coral, FL   
   

I remember Sandra as a strong and graceful woman.  I'm so sorry for the loss that her family and friends, and the world at large, experience with her death.

Anna Holloway   Mar 16, 2013 Norman, OK
      

We did not know Sandra very well but did enjoy the little time we spent with her.  She will be in our prayers not only on March 23rd but every day.

Marty & Kathy Leffner   Mar 16, 2013 Schaumburg, IL USA   
 

Sandra was a brave, loving and compassionate person who cared deeply for others.  Her family and those of us who knew and loved her were fortunate to be a part of her life.  We will miss her very much.

Myrna Jones   Mar 16, 2013 Tulsa, OK    
 

Dear Nicole, Jason, Michelle: Thank you for letting me know that Sandra is gone. She was such a light to many. I ,too, wish that I had heard her sing. She had a beautiful speaking voice. She was so wise, kind, talented  and yet modest. Her journey from a 16 year old girl who did not complete her education immediately to becoming  a truly well read woman whose intellectual powers were fully utilized and so well expressed is a rare one-worthy of note. She introduced me to the work of several wonderful poets.  I know how much she loved all of you and delighted in her  grandchildren. All of us who knew her were better for it. Thank you also for suggesting a way that we can celebrate her life communally.

Mary Holden   Mar 16, 2013 Tulsa, OK 74114  
   

We send our deepest condolences for the loss of your loved one.  We pray that God is with you and your family during this time.  Sincerely Emile & Nicole Pitre

Emile & Nicole Pitre   Mar 16, 2013 Lawton, OK United States   
 

Sandra, was a sweet soul and a blessed presence.

Litton Logan   Mar 16, 2013 Los Alamos, NM  
    

I am so sorry to hear about Sandra. She was such a wonderful woman and will always be remembered.

Robyn DeCoster   Mar 16, 2013 Tulsa, OK United States

Sandra was a woman with a big heart, a fine mind, and boundless love for her family.  We met  during our undergraduate years and became playmates, study buddies and friends.  We laughed and cried together.  My life is the richer for having been with her.  I miss her.
Nicole, Jason and Michelle my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Pamela Wade, Melbourne Australia
 

A beautiful photo of Shell and her Mum! 

  Jason, Nicole, and Michelle -  How sorry we are to hear about the passing of Sandra, and we wish to pass along our condolences.  Be assured though that this life is only the beginning and that we all have the opportunity to reunite with loved ones who have gone before thanks to our Savior, Jesus Christ.  We will keep you in our prayers and hope that you may find and feel the peace that we all desire in this life.

Michael and Brita Scott   Mar 15, 2013 West Jordan, UT
 
     
We are so sorry for your loss.  Such a wonderful lady.  Nash Family

John Nash   Mar 15, 2013 Wilmette, IL United States   
 

A wonderful, strong woman who will be missed by all who ever met her. I have so many fond memories of Sandra from her time in Enid. She is in my prayers today as are her family members. Blessings and peace to all of them.

Michael Sohn   Mar 15, 2013 Oklahoma City, OK United States
     

Dear Jason, Nicole and Michelle, We are so sorry for your loss and are here if there is anything we can do. Love Travis & Amanda

Amanda & Travis Edmondson   Mar 15, 2013 Dallas, TX USA
     

It was a priveldge to take care of your mother. She was a great lady... The compassion she had for all of you was so Loving !!! I could tell she was a wonderful mother to all of you and to the grandchildren. My prayers are with all of you and may peace be with you........

Laverne Ziganto   Mar 15, 2013 Barrington, IL      

I am deeply saddened to learn of Sandra's death. I will remember her as a person full of practical wisdom and good humor; and she was insightful and compassionate regarding human nature. I am grateful to have known her during most of her many years in OK, and I know she had the admiration of professors, student colleagues, and friends.

Gary Peluso-Verdend   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK USA  
   

Dear Nicole, Jason, Michelle & your respective families,  My deepest condolences.  My life is better because Sandra was a part of it.  I will always remember the authentic, generous hospitality that she offered to me. Blessings to each of you, Bethany

Rev. Bethany J. Imbler Albrecht   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK USA 
    

Our deepest condolences to your lovely family. Sandra was an amazing woman and a devoted mother and grandmother. She is in all of our hearts now as she touched all of us with her amazing, love, energy, kindness and devotion. We miss her already terribly but know she's a little bit in all of us her family especially. So grateful to have known her.

Jennifer and John Nash   Mar 15, 2013 Wilmette, IL USA      

Dear Nic, Jason and Michelle, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. May the great memories of her stay with you forever. Love, Shenia

Shenia   Mar 15, 2013 Chicago, IL  
    

Dear Nicole and Scott.  My sincere condolences to you and your families during these trying times.  Your friend.  Tim

Tim Decker   Mar 15, 2013 IL

 Nicole,Jason & Michelle We are so very sorry for the loss of your Mum, She was loved by many.  May her love live in your memories and bring you peace.

Ray & Carol Charest   Mar 15, 2013 Augusta, ME USA   
   

Dear Nicole, Jay and Shell, I am so sad to hear this news. She was such a special person. My memories of your beautiful mum are mainly from our childhood, when as a little girl she was a big role model in my life.  Raising three children, studying, volunteering at Lifeline, helping out dozens of people in your church - she was just amazing. And still she made time to bake those perfect little cupcakes that Nicole always had in her lunchbox (and include one for me each day!).  She was always warm, always smiling, always welcoming and for this I truly loved her like a second mum. I am so sorry for your loss - the world is a sadder and darker place without her. Love and hugs across the miles.

Caz   Mar 15, 2013 Geelong  Australia   
 

Nicole and family, i am so sorry for your loss. I loved your mom.  She was,indeed, a wonderful listener, with her heart and mind and ear, and I loved listening to her and being with her.  I am sorry I never heard her singing voice .  We will all surely miss her smile.  Her 50 plus friends will miss her beautiful accent and expressions we loved to hear her use at card games.  She was a joy and a blessing to everyone.  I wore the beautiful hat she knit for me yesterday and thought of her and the beauty and generosity of her spirit and her handiwork.  I am grateful to have known her.  I will participate in the candlelight ceremony and appreciate a way to honor the light that she will always be.

Gail DeVet   Mar 15, 2013 Hoffman Estates , IL USA  
   

I was touched by the description in the obituary that noted the warmth of her personality and how, as a listener, she gave you her full attention. So true. I will miss that most about Sandra. My condolences to the family.

Dennis Smith   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK 
     

My thoughts are with Jason and his family.

Larry Bukacek   Mar 15, 2013 OK    
 

Sandra was a skilled professional counselor and a wonderful, gracious friend to so many in the seminary community over the years.

Don A. Pittman   Mar 15, 2013 Broken Arrow, OK USA
     

Sandra was a light shining in the darkness, a kind and gentle and generous spirit, a blessing to countless people, including me and my family. We are so very sad at her departing, but I am confident that she rests in the eternal embrace and love of God. Hers was a life truly well lived!

Rick Lowery   Mar 15, 2013 Indianapolis, IN USA   
 

Thinking of your family.  I'm so sorry for your loss.
Kristina

Kristina Dierking Morgan   Mar 15, 2013 Enid, OK USA   
 

Our sincere thoughts and prayers are with the Tabbernee family.

Scott Lennox   Mar 15, 2013 Coppell, TX USA
     

Dear Nicole, Jason, and Michelle,  I loved your mom.  She was a warm and wonderful woman and was so down to earth.  What a beautiful smile and way she had about her.  I am grateful to have known her during her years in association with the Seminary here.  She will always be in my memory.  Sincerely, Ginny

Ginny Walker   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK

Members of our 50+ Club, of which Sandra was a beloved member, will follow your wishes and recall your dear Mum, next week. Our heartfelt sympathy to family.

Rica Cuff   Mar 15, 2013 Hoffman Estates, IL USA  
   

Dear Nicole, Jason & Michelle,
We are so sorry of your loss.. Let God give you strenght in this difficult time. Terry Tabbernee & Fedor Oude Lenferink

Terry Tabbernee & Fedor Oude Lenferink   Mar 15, 2013 Hengelo, - Other - The Netherlands     

God rest her soul.  She was fun and witty and a joy to be around however brief it was.

Darrell & Jeannette May   Mar 15, 2013 Evergreen, CO USA 
    

A beautiful life.  Gentle, gracious, spirited.  We are richer for having known her and called her a friend.

Stephen Cranford   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK USA   
 

Sandra was a soul mate to me.  I met her when we were both working at Lifeline.  She was the best listener I ever met.  She listened with her heart and her soul.  I have been missing her love and friendship since she left Australia in 1991.  She was a light in the darkness for many people.  love Margaret

Margaret Crutch   Mar 15, 2013 Melbourne, IL Australia 
    

Dear Nicole, Jason and Michelle, I am devastated to learn of Sandra's passing. At Doncaster CC Sandra helped  me become a real minister but more so she helped Jenny understand and become a beautiful minister's wife! In Oklahoma Sandra became a great personal friend during our counselling training. Mostly though I loved her for her friendship and support Of Jenny (and me)during Jenny's battle with cancer. Sandra has now won the same victory! I will never forget her beautiful manner.

Greg Shaw   Mar 15, 2013 Winter Haven, FL United States     

Jason, Nicole and Michelle, We are so very sorry for your loss and know our thoughts are prayers are with you always, a kind and beautiful soul and her presence will be missed.

Kenny Funk Marlene Urban Funk   Mar 15, 2013 Divide, IL
      

I am sadden to hear of your mom passing,My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family

Steven Boutilier   Mar 15, 2013 Augusta, ME USA   
 

I loved Sandra dearly and counted her a friend of the heart while she lived in Tulsa. She shared her deep love and pride of her family with me and others. I grieve with you her loss, while celebrating her life, a light that made the world a better place.

Mady Fraser   Mar 15, 2013 Tulsa, OK United States   
 

My deepest sympathies to Jason and his family. I'm sure that there are no words that could describe the pain of losing a mother and grandmother. My prayers have been and will be with your family in this hour of darkness.

Chris Owens   Mar 15, 2013 Augusta , ME USA

Sandra provided care and support for students at PTS for several years.  I appreciated her graciousness and hospitality.  It was always a treat to sample Sandra's pavlova at faculty Christmas parties.  My prayers are with you in this time of grief.

Susanna Southard   Mar 16, 2013 Tulsa, OK
      

Ourvthoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve the loss of a mother and grandmother

Pat & Bruce Greig   Mar 16, 2013 Melbourne, - Other - Australia  
   

Words, however kind,  can't mend your heartache:  but those who care and  share your loss wish you comfort and peace of mind.  May you find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace of friends.
Deepest Sympathy Wish I could be there to hold your hand Fondest Love Jane and Family xxx

Jane Pocknee   Mar 15, 2013 Melbourne, - Other - Australia 
    

Sad news! Sandra was a warm, caring person who always made people feel welcome.  She will be sadly missed.
Robin Bowes

Robin Bowes   Mar 15, 2013 WA Australia   
 

Sandra was such an amazing and contagiously upbeat woman.  I wish I could express my gratitude to this beautiful lady for all that she did for my Mum, her friendship was one that she held very dear to her heart.  Thank you! And my thoughts and hugs are with you guys, love to you all.

Bronwyn Luettgen   Mar 15, 2013 Port Orange, FL USA
     

Sandra was a beautiful soft person and will alwys be in our thoughts. Her singing of "Scarlet Ribbons" was treasured.

Ian and Jan ALLSOP   Mar 15, 2013 Melbourne, IL Australia  
   

Sandra was an intelligent, empathic, hospitable, generous, and loveable human being. There is no doubt she will be missed, especially by her family, to whom Eileen and I would like to convey our love and sympathy.

Graeme Chapman   Mar 15, 2013 Ararat Vic  Australia   
 

Wonderful shared Outreach Group at Lifeline memories. Laughing, crying, singing, eating, drinking. You will live forever in my heart dearest friend.  Peace and Love  Moyra Dovolil

moyra dovolil   Mar 15, 2013 CA Australia   
 

Respectful memories of a kind and gentle person.

Dennis Ryle   Mar 15, 2013 Perth  Australia   
 

We very much appreciated knowing Sandra, and have enjoyed her gracious friendship and hospitality.

Dawn and Richard Lawton   Mar 15, 2013 Oakden, - Other - Australia