well cant believe its 8 years sand yet still seems like yesterday.we done what i promised by going to ireland last week and it was great retracking back to places we lived as kids and with mum and dad,just sad the 3 of you were'nt there though i expect you were in spirit,we seen the house where we used to feed the mouse when mum was'nt looking,the house where we saved the tadpoles all in jars under the beds.i would like to go again sometime cos dave wants to go aswell.life is ok here and all are plodding on,i miss you still all the time and that will never stop,wish you were here to chat to when i'm feeling low,well i chat to your pics but you don't answer back lol,hoping to go avebury your fav place but weathers crap at the minuteand hopefully kim,saff and kids will come too,gonna get a coffee now so bye for now,love ya lots xxxx 

well it is 5 years now and where does the years go,did you find ticky and have a good old boogie woogie.zara got married on your day which was odd but it was her choice so i had time to get used to it,strange to celebrate her wedding yet your leaving me.she looked stunning and the girls and matt looked handsome,it was a great day and im sure you were looking down.we were tears all round when they played your fav ub40,red wine at the end of the night.we wore butterfly stuff and purple in your memory which im sure you liked.well miss you always love kath xxxx

i hope you liked the lanterns we set off last night,2 of them landed in somones garden but hey ho,its still hard that your not here and im still waiting for you to do stuff to let me know your there,i know your busy visiting your girls and other people but fit me in eh? i got your photos dotted around but i still miss you,they still say that it gets easier as time goes by but that is rubbish,it still seems like yesterday that you went,only problem is, is that im sometimes finding it hard to remember your voice yet other days it is plain as day,strange that is'nt it ? we are gonna do avebury again cos you liked that place and meet up with bill later in the year and have a wine for you,hope all is ok with you,mum and dad up there sand,love and miss you always xxxx

we all got together for your first memorial,we got kerb stones and colourful gravel and let the kids make a lovely garden on mums grave for the 3 of you.we said a few nice things,i hope you enjoyed the glass of wine we left you lol.
we left some small meaningful stones cos you loved all that stuff.,when we visited the lizard we put a rock on there as you loved that place.we also set off some lanterns at avebury last year as you loved that place aswell.
kerry had a lovely plaque made for you with 'mum,dad and sandy,diamonds amongst the stars'
kim and saffy have visited and planted some flowers,so its just a lovely little place to visit now and light the candle and leave bits and pieces in memory of you
when we went to avebury last year,we left a ribbon with little bits on and tied it on that big tree
      not sure what we are doing this year  but i'm sure we will have more bits and pieces to add 
     miss you xxx                 

hi sand, i just sent a happy birthday message to dave [56] now,don't time fly.he has lots of great family pics on his site which was good to look at,some funny ones with me and my goofy teeth [thank god i had them done] sad looking at you in them and thinking you should be here,so bloody hard, in it funny that you hated your pics being taken yet you are a right little poser with your cheeky smiles for the camera in them. we are gonna get a new lantern cos that one is looking rusty now but the grave looks nice with all the bits and pieces don't it
   miss you always bye for now xxx

it floated down from heaven
a feather white as snow
an angel passing in the sky
must have let it go
in the hope it would be found
by someone sad like me
so i would know an angel
was trying to comfort me
angels are always close
they watch over us night and day
white feathers are a sign
that they're not that far away
our angels guide us with their love
watch over us with care
and sometimes drop a feather
to let us know they're there

          ken and me were tending the grave when this white feather floated over and landed on the headstone,i'm sure it was a sign from you letting us know your around,i've put it on your photo,looks good like a brooche
              xxxxxx

i love nothing better than sitting in my garden on a warm sunny day gathering my thoughts together
today was my birthday,i had just finnished work and thought i would grab a quiet hour in the garden before all the family arrive
walking to my car i smiled as i read my texts but the fact that i had not received one from my sis sandy brought a tear to my eyes,it seemed so odd
i arrived home to a surprise greeting from my family who led me to the back garden with eyes closed
i looked to see a newly transformed garden with solar lights,candles,chair cushions and a ornamental butterfly,on the newly painted decking was a schroll with the words "i'm smiling cos your my sister,i'm laughing cos you can't do anything about it"
you see 3 weeks ago,sandy told me she had "c" .
a week later i held her hand as she slipped away
white butterflies had been everywhere that day,one perched on me as if to re-assure me that her spirit would be free
the grief of losing sandy inspired my kids to create my haven, a birthday memory i will always cherish
now as i blink away a tear,i know sand is looking down knowing that though she may be gone she will never be forgotten
love and thanks to my loving family,love mum xxx

[this is the original story i sent to take-a-break mag though they changed some of it when they printed it,the money helped make a lovely graveside to visit which my grandkids created,love them all xx

i stood by your bed last night
i came to have a peep
i could see that you were crying and found it hard to sleep
i spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear
"it's me,i haven't left you,i'm well,i'm fine,i'm here"
i was close to you at breakfast
i watched you pour your tea
you were thinking of the many times we chuckled,you and me
i was with you at the shops today,your arms were getting sore
i longed to help you carry your bags
i wish i could do more
i was with you at my grave today,you tend it with such care
a plaque with diamonds in the sky for me,mum and dad,stands there
i flew with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key
i gently landed on you,i smiled "it's me"
you looked so very tired as you sank into a chair
i tried so hard to let you know i was there
it's possible for me to be near you every day
to say to you with certainty that i never went away
you sat there very quietly,then smiled, i think you knew
in the stillness of that evening  that i was very close to you
the day is over,i smile and watch you yawning "goodnite,sleep tight,i'll see you in the morning"
and when the time is right for you to cross the great divide
i'll fly across to greet you and we'll stand side by side
i have so many things to show you
there is so much for you to see
be patient,live your journey out
then come home to be with me

             xx i know your with us all,sand xx

kath,please don't feel guilty
it was my time to go
i see you are still feeling sad
and the tears just seem to flow
we all come to earth for our lifetime
and for some it's not many years
i don't want you to keep crying
you are shedding so many tears
i haven't really left you
even though it may seem so
i have just gone to my heavenly home
and i'm closer to you than you know
just believe that when you say my name
i'm standing next to you
i know you long to see me
but there's nothing i can do
but i'll still send you messages
and hope you understand
that when your time comes to crossover
i'll be there to take your hand

          i love these words, xxx

those we love don't go away
they walk beside us every day
unseen,unheard but always near
still loved,still missed and very dear
death leaves a heartache no one can heal
love leaves a memory no one can steal
you are not lost our dearest love
nor have you travelled far
just stepped inside heavens loveliest room
and left the door ajar

         for you,mum and dad miss you xxx