ForeverMissed
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Her Life
November 14, 2013

Many of you have probably heard about my Mom's passing on September 8th. While the last three weeks were great agony for her, her last 4 hours or so were at peace and she went in her sleep. She sometimes used to say that she wished somehow she could see what people would say about her once she is gone. I wonder if she is somewhere in a better place and whether she can see how much she is missed.

I wish I gave her more hugs.

I wish I had children I could pass her legacy on to.

My Mom was a very strong person with a lot more common sense than what we frankly gave her credit for. There were some very difficult times when we did not have much money and had lots of uncertainties. She managed and carried on without complaints and without letting us know about the hardships. She went too soon. There was much she still wanted to do and much she deserved to enjoy. I wish there was little more time.  Especially after she got a second chance at life in June when she went to the hospital and her heart almost stopped.  She was so happy after she returned home and felt so much better than she did in years.  She wanted to live.

But more than anything, she did not want to become a burden and until the very end, she managed to carry on - sometimes with great difficulty but she held on to her dignity until the end. She knew how much I will miss her and how difficult it will be for me to carry on without her. She let me know even in those agonizing days just before her passing that she was thinking of me. She knew that I loved her and it is a big consolation to me.