Christmas 2023 has come and gone. I spent the holiday with J and his family. I actually got to see Ed twice as he lives less than a mile from J. It was good having them together, but your absence felt like a heavy cloud above me. J's son, Levi, is a terror but so cute, so much fun to watch and so different from any child his age (18 mos.) that I have ever known! I wish you had stayed to know him. I didn't hear from your girls, but that's part for the course. I'm accepting it. So as we say goodbye to this terrible year for so many and await 2024 and the hopes we have for a better year ahead, I feel it just brings me closer to when I get called home and hopes that I will reunite with you and so much of family waiting there. I LOVE YOU, SCOTT. You are still my shining star.
                            Ma

I cannot believe you would be 49 today! But birthdays are not about numbers, they're about celebrating the person. Even tho you aren't here in person, I celebrate all you were to me and the memories you left behind. Without them I'd be lost. (Your favorite thing to do was to spend your birthday at Bike Week in Galveston). 
The day you were born still fills me with joy. I celebrate this day for you and for me. Happy Heavenly Birthday, Scott. I'll love you forever, my shining star.
"Ma"

Today was Father's Day. I couldn't help but wonder how your girls address this day. They have never really talked about losing you or the why of it all. Trinity at 18 finally asked Aunt Heather how you died. It never was really addressed at the time I suppose because they were so young.
Fathers are important in children's lives, whether they have a good relationship or a bad one. Just relating to having that figure in your life sorta grounds you atleast. You were a good father the years you were here. All my boys grew up to be good fathers even tho they had a poor father figure growing up. I had a wonderful father, but I only had him for 12 years. I hope you are remembered with love and admiration. Happy Father's Day, Son.

Well, graduations are over. Carleigh graduated on Trinity's 20th birthday.  I was able to attend and altho it was a long ceremony (500) students) and she was "W", it was enjoyable to watch.  We had dinner before at Cafe Adobe. Her ceremony was at 8pm.
I was not able to attend Tristin's because of distance and time. Her graduation was 5/25/23 at 7pm. There were 800 students graduating, but she's an "H", so I only watched till then.  I did watch it on live stream and was able to capture a picture of her walking the stage. I had sent a card and gift card also. I sent a message the next day to congratulate her, but as of today, no response.
I hope both girls have a bright, happy future and a safe one. I will keep them in prayer and continue to love them and be interested in how they are doing, regardless.
I just wish you were here for this and "just here!"  I miss you, Son
                    "Ma"

Dearest Scott--Today we mark (13) years without you. We've gone thru most of the grieving process but the emptiness still remains. We have to move on. This doesn't mean or diminish the love we carry in our heart for you. I hope you know that. I'm finally realizing what the phrase "life goes on" means.
I still talk to you, recall our memories, look for you, desperate to hear your voice, your laugh. I find signs I hope are from you letting me know you are near; pennies on the ground, cardinals close by, butterflies flitting close and landing nearby. These give me peace and comfort.
I want to get to the point where I can count the time we had, not the time you've been gone. I'm working on it. I love you, Son. You're still my "shining star" and always will be.  Soon we will be together with the Lord in His Heavenly Paradise and there will be no more sadness.
Love you ALWAYS, "Ma"

Merry Christmas in Heaven, Scott. I hope there's celebration with family there. Christmas has changed for everyone through the years, but 1 thing that hasn't changed is our memories of you and the emptiness we all feel. You have missed so much that I know would have brought you joy. But this day and everyday we carry your memory with us. God bless you and may you visit in spirit. I love you, Son, my shining star.  "Ma"

Today we had our Thanksgiving gathering. It was small but enjoyable. I wish you were here to share it with us. Heather got text from Trinity saying she will visit sometime during Christmas.  I am going to J's for Christmas and hope I won't miss her visit as we haven't seen Mateo, your grandson, in person yet. I hope you can send a sign to let me know you're near as I miss you so very much! Take care and know you are loved. "Ma"

It's your birthday! Alot of memories are surfacing today. They are what keeps me here. I saw an ad for the Lone Star Rally in Galveston this weekend and I remembered it was always your birthday treat to yourself to attend the rally. 
It's hard to think of you being 48 today if you were here and being a granddad twice! You are remembered by many and it is reflected in your grandson's name, Mateo Salvadore-Scott Perez and your nephew, Levi Scott Hommel.
Sending birthday love to you and hoping you're looking down and smiling. I love you, Son! Happy Heavenly Birthday!

It's 12 years today. For those people who think it has to be easier by now, it isn't. How can losing a child, regardless of age, be easy? On this day I relive that day from the moment I get up. I'm always still hoping that it was a nightmare I haven't woke up from, but when realization sets in, my heart hurts and I know I have to get through this day for others. Today was odd because it was also Easter. The celebration of Christ rising from the tomb. Yet I'm saddened by the loss of my son.
I'm glad I can still picture him with his smile and hear his laughter. I don't ever want to forget those.
We added to the memorial site and had a Shiner in his memory and even shared stories of him, so it ended better than it began. I love you, Scott, my Shining Star! Stay close.  "Ma"

Happy Valentine's Day, Son. I wish you were here to feel the love I have for you, still and forever. I'm working on a few things to add to your memorial on the 11th anniversary of losing you. I try to create a few things instead of buying things already made. I hope it brings more love to your site. My heart is filled with love, memories, and still sadness for you. But I'm stronger because I have God and the promise of eternal life and know someday in the near future, I will be where you are and there will be eternal love, no more sadness. I pray you are with family as there are so many of them who have passed. Send me a sign if you can that you have received my Valentine wishes. 
Much love always, "Ma"

Merry Christmas, Son. I swear you woke me up at 5:30 am by plopping on the couch and saying "wake up it's Christmas!" Then you looked at me and said "Mom, I love you." I sat up but you weren't there but those words made my Christmas and I will forever hold them in my heart. I know you are where you wanted to be and there are so many family and friends there with you, plus the beauty, peace and wonderment of God, so I am happy for you. We all miss your presence here with us and will forever remember you and keep you in our hearts. I love you, my "shining star."    "Ma"

It's Christmas Eve.  I am at Justin and Kayla's apt. in Alvin to spend Christmas with them and her son, Haedyn. They are having a baby boy, Levi, in June. I am hoping on my birthday! Justin is doing well in life. You would be proud of him. I am. I don't get to see him often enough, but that's part of being a parent to adult children, yet in my mind you are all still my babies.
I miss your holiday calls, your laughter, and I miss family gatherings, but most of all, I miss you, Son. I love you.    "Ma"

My Son: I hope there's a celebration in Heaven for you today.  (#47) I was blessed the day you were born. I gathered memories as each day passed and tucked them safely away in my heart. Now I can use those memories to remember the happiness you brought into my life, remember the way you touched others lives, see your smile, remember you as a brother, a dad, and a talented artist. I still feel the emptiness you left in my life, but the memories slowly fill in that space. I love you, Scott. I miss you. You will forever be my "Shining Star."
HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY.
              ......"Ma"

Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.

When a man loses a wife, he's a widower.
When a woman loses a husband, she's a widow. When a child loses his parents, he's an orphan. When a mother loses a child, there is no word for that. That's how bad the pain is!

Even 11 years can't remove the deep feeling of loss. Memories are the greatest gift for times like this. I love you, Son and will always remember the years we had together.      "Ma"

New Year's Day, 2021
Everyone seems to think life will change for the better now that 2020 is over. We still have a way to go and soon we will adjust to new leadership with Pres. Joe Biden. My life, regardless, has settled into a waiting game. There's not much for me to do in life. I try to interact with family and get them to do the same, but everyone is too busy and unconcerned. I am very aware of your absence and I know I will feel it for the remainder of my life. I miss you. I miss the me I used to be. I miss the granddaughters you gave me. I hold tight to what was and am sad for what would have been. I send love and prayers to Heaven for you and pray you will send signs to me that let me know you are near. Here's to another year of adjustment without you. Forever my shining star. I love you, Scott. "Ma"

It's Christmas Eve, 2020
This has been a terrible year for so many because of covid-19. Luckily none of our family have suffered health-wise, but there have been many who have had a tough time financially and work-wise. It's still not over. This could last into 2021!
Holidays have been affected. Families are asked to not gather. Money for gifts is tight. There's more families then ever who need help with food. It's sad. And when there are so many family members and friends already passed, my heart is full of sadness. I miss you, Son. No amount of time will ever fill the void you left. I hope you can send me signs that you are near and help me smile when I notice them. You are in my daily prayers and tucked away in my heart. I love you! Merry Christmas. You are so blessed to be there with God. You are still my "shining star ".        "Ma"

This year I came to spend Thanksgiving with Justin and his new wife, Kayla. The food they made was delightful. We watched the Texans beat the Lions. J lives only a few miles from Ed now, so I also got to see him. I got Thanksgiving wishes from your girls. Heather is having her dinner tomorrow with Ashley and her family. I will stay here until next Sunday. Covid 19 has changed the holiday alot. We still have months ahead of dealing with it. The one thing that hasn't changed is feeling your absence. I love you, Son and will forever miss you and hold you in my heart.  "Ma"

Happy Birthday, Son. It's been (46) years since your birth! What a marvelous day that was! I still remember the dr. coming in and saying you had quite a set of lungs on you, but he didn't know what you were fussing about because you had your own "little harem" in the nursery as you were the only boy amongst (5) girls! The mayor of Houston sent me a certificate declaring Nov 4, 1974 as "Scott Hommel Day." It was evident you were destined to be special and loved as you still are to this very day and always!  I miss you.     "Ma"

Today your brother got married. I wish you were here to share in this event. It took 33 years for him to find a life partner, but I really think this will be a good marriage and that she will fit very well into our family. You have missed so much and we notice that void. You are forever in our hearts and on our minds. God keep you! 
Love forever, "Ma"

Father's Day, 2020
Another special day to remind me your gone. The girls would love to celebrate with you, but you gave them no choice. I get a bit angry on these type of days and it doesn't lessen the love I have or the pride I still carry for you. It's the choice you made without reaching out that angers me. I know you must have felt you had to be alone or it wouldn't happen. You did this for YOU because you couldn't see an answer to the future with what you were facing. I kinda get that, but kids need fathers who care, love and protect and you were all of that. Happy Father's Day, Son. You remain in our hearts.   "Ma"
         

Son, your first born is 17 today! It's really hard to grasp that. She is an amazing young lady. You would be proud! She is about to begin driving. She is busy, busy with school and life, just like her Aunt Heather was at that age. She and Tristin are to come visit the first part of June. It seems like forever since we saw them! I hope you are smiling down on her as a proud dad, this day and always . I love you and miss you!    "Ma"

Today is Mother's Day! I missed you. I remember you and Heather competing to be the first to wish me Happy Mother's Day. I miss that. Overall it was a nice day. I have alot of happy memories to help me get thru this day. Tristin texted me and that helped too. Jaden was here as well. I was proud to be your mom and I'm thankful for my children. Life takes us in all directions and if a few times a year we can just connect and reminisce, then life is good. Smile down on us and let us feel your presence.  I love you, Son!   "Ma"

10 years! Why do I count time when it has stood still since the day you died? I don't miss you any more or any less because time has passed  I can bring back the feelings of that day in a flash. The disbelief, the sadness, the loss, the horror of those words, the question of why. No matter of time will erase that day and what I had to face and accept, so why do I keep track of lost time? I should focus more on the time we had. The memories of laughter, family, accomplishments, celebrations and dreams. I thought you had your own piece of life and things were good. You never shared that "dark place" that eventually took you from us. But my pride and love remains always. You will forever be a part of me and remain my "shining star". I love you, Son......"Ma"

Easter Sunday, 2020
The corona virus has us all in self-quarantine. The weather is beautiful. Having a small dinner later. Tristin texted Happy Easter, then later, I miss you. She is so sweet! She has your heart and Trinity has your personality. You are missing SO much. I can't believe Friday will be 10 years. I miss you SO much Son and I love you even more!      "Ma"

Today Tristin is 15! She's smart, beautiful and enjoys school. Oh the joys you're missing!!

It's 2020. Everyone says "may it be a better year." I say " may I get thru another year." Trinity is going to the Dominican Republic this summer for a week with a church group. I don't hear from them unless I text 1st and then it's a quick answer. But they are both doing well, achieving! My heart still misses you, tears still flow. I love you, Son!   "Ma"

Christmas 2019, nine years without you and it still feels like yesterday. Each year that passes I'm more and more disinterested. There's no gathering of immediate family anymore. As soon as Christmas Day ends, everyone is on to the next holiday. Although I have 3 sons, I won't see any of them, life gets in the way.
But my heart is full of love and memories of you and that's the gift I treasure. No one knows what Heaven is really like or if you meet with those who have passed, but it's comforting to think so. I miss you and I miss the "me" I was when you were here. Merry Christmas, Son! Love, "Ma"

Scott: Today is Thanksgiving. We miss you. There are pros and cons for this holiday this year. To be honest, holidays aren't my thing anymore. This void can never be filled, but family still matters so I do my best. I love you forever....."Ma"

Scott: Of all the precious gifts in life however great or small, to have you as my son was the greatest gift of all.
I miss you with every beat of my broken heart. Happy 45th birthday Son.  "Ma"

"WHY"
EVER SINCE YOU WENT AWAY THE DAYS GO SLOWLY BY, AND THE HARDEST THING TO COPE WITH IS NEVER KNOWING WHY...
THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND AND MAYBE NEVER WILL, QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED, NOW YOUR VOICE IS STILL.
TO LOSE YOU WAS UNBEARABLE AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN, I'VE TRIED TO LOOK FOR REASONS THAT NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN.
LIFE AND DEATH HOLD MYSTERIES BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE. I LOVED YOU THEN, I LOVE YOU NOW AND I WILL FOREVER MORE!      "MA"

Easter....your absence is still felt. This holiday was just with Heather and the family. The best part was the sighting of a red cardinal....was it you? I prefer to think it was. We miss you, Son!      "Ma"

This day is here again! With every passing year, I think it will be easier, but it's not. I still flash back to that morning that changed my life forever. I can hear myself screaming and feel myself shaking. 
I know I'm not the only mother who lost a child, so many have and some in more horrible circumstances and at earlier ages, but he was MY son and he meant the world to me! 
Seems death comes more frequently as I age. One doesn't become more at ease with it tho. I think I know more people who have died than those that are alive and that's sad. 
But this is "our" day son; not in a good way but you remain my "shining star" and I will forever miss you and shed tears.
                        Love, "Ma"

Today is Valentine's Day and my heart is aching in your absence. It's a day all about love and I have no way of giving you my love but through thoughts , prayer and wishes. I miss you SO much Scott! You will forever be my valentine ❤  "Ma"

Today begins a new year. It is 2019. It will soon be 9 years since we lost you! Time stands still in my heart tho. A slight trigger can return me to that horrible, heart-wrenching day and I feel all that pain again. I struggle to move on but I have. I remember you and all you gave to so many of us and I smile because when you were here, you brought smiles and happiness to so many. I'm never gonna be complete again but your siblings and your daughters give me reason to go forward. I know where you are is a place of love, peace, beauty and comfort. What mom wouldn't want that for her son? I miss you, I love you and I look forward to being there with you.     "Ma"

Scott: Christmas 2018 is almost over. We have somehow made it thru 8 Christmases without you. Although you aren't here in person, each one of us carries you in our thoughts and in our hearts so you are still a part of the holiday.  Your girls will be coming tomorrow to spend time with Heather and family. You would be so proud of each of them. We are going to the memorial we made for you before I leave on Friday.  Nothing we can say or do could replace having you here but it's our way to show our love and our desire to keep you close. I love you and miss you immensely! ❤

Its almost Christmas time again bro . Every year I just wish I could spend one more Christmas with you. I have such great Christmas memories with you . Alot of my teenage Christmases were awesome with you there and you always managed to totally surprise me with something really great. I wish Tyler could have had at least one Christmas with you. I know he would of been your best bud. He reminds me alot of you. I see you all the time threw him . I miss and love you so much bro . Merry christmas!

Son: Another Thanksgiving without you, but I've managed to give thanks for those who remain, for the memories of past Thanksgivings and other family gatherings, the granddaughters you blessed me with and for the time you spent making me feel loved.
Nothing is or ever will be the same! You were a blessing from the beginning and when I look past the pain, I have to smile because of who you were and the joy you brought to each one of us. Happy Heavenly Thanksgiving, Son. I love and miss you.       "Ma"

Scott: As the thundering roar of motorcycles hit Galveston for the annual Lone Star Rally, I remember how each year you were there with your motorcycle for your birthday weekend. It was your gift to yourself to just be you and have some fun. I'm glad to have memories of you enjoying life. So I will smile when I see groups of riders headed to Galveston as my "Happy Birthday" gift to you. I miss you my "Shining Star". Life isn't the same anymore, but my love for you remains. Smile down from Heaven this weekend, Son!       Ma

Hi, Scott. Happy Heavenly Birthday. Even tho I don’t post on your site often I do however think of you often. Probably as often as your mother does. When I think of you I think of the heartache your mom is feeling. I know she would love to have you down here on earth so she could hug and kiss you and really be able to celebrate your birthday with you. Just show her somehow today that you are right there with her. I would love nothing better than to see your mom happy in some way. Since you can’t be here with her celebrate with your family in heaven with you. I love you.

Scott: Today is Mother's Day. It's the 8th year without you. I wish I could say it's easier, but it's not. Just one more special day that intensifies the loss. I miss you and Heather trying to be the first to wish me Happy Mother's Day and I miss everyone getting together on that day. I'm so thankful for memories. They are a lifetime gift. I'm blessed and thankful that my children all gave me those or getting thru these times would be even harder. I love you Son! You are tucked away in my heart and there you will stay, forever.   "Ma"

8 years....the major change is that I've been able to become functional in life; one must go on. I do all that is expected of me and I don't expect or ask of others. I carry you safely tucked in my heart. You do not ever disappear from me. When I am to myself, my thoughts are of you and the memories you have left me.
It's true, time marches on and I am prepared to go to "the end of my journey" whenever God calls me. Life here on Earth is a struggle for so many and I'm ready for peace and joy and to be with family and loved ones who have gone before me.
I love you, Son! I miss you SO much! I wish I didn't have to face this reality every year. You remain my "Shining Star."  Ma

A brand new year has started. I have high hopes for good things to come to many family members this year. 2017 has been quite a struggle. As for me, I'm content with "holding my own" in life. I have decent health and at this point, I can pay my bills by continuing to work at a job I no longer enjoy, but that is life for many. I keep my memories close and they still bring tears, but I handle my days and allow the nights for myself. The more years that pass, the greater the loss I feel. I miss the bond we had and I wish you had stayed to see your girls grow up. We all miss you terribly but are doing our best to move forward. I LOVE YOU, SON!  "Ma"

Missing You At Christmas
Tears to you at Christmas time are gently tinged with joy, at every precious memory of when you were a boy. For you were goodness here on Earth, adored in every way and you are missed so very much every single day! We will meet again, Son, but until we re-unite, may heavenly peace surround you and bathe you in its light!
      Missing you as always, "Ma"

Well, it's Thanksgiving 2017. It's nothing like the family gatherings we had when you were still with us. Everyone just does their own thing. It may have gotten like this even if you were here because life these days is nothing like when you were growing up. People struggle just to make it to the next paycheck. Everyone is busy. Life goes on. But I am thankful this day and always for years of memories that get me thru to the next day. I feel your absence, Son, but I also feel your love. Missing you, always, "Ma"

Dear Scott: You would have been 43 today if we could have saved you, if you had even hinted to one of us that you needed our help, if you had reached out to us on that horribly sad day when our world blew up and we lost you forever. There has been alot of changes in the world and in our family. Your girls are amazing and you would be so very proud of them. They each have their own talents and are gifted as well. I'm so glad they got beyond losing you and have flourished. They still talk about you with love so that's great, but they needed you to be here. We all did. I can't move on as most have. I don't ever have a day you aren't in my thoughts or one without tears. Yes, there are those beautiful memories to hold onto, but I'd rather hold onto you!  I take off work every year on this day because I don't trust myself to not have a moment I can't control. The day you were born, a light was turned on in my heart and the day you left, it went out and I'm always stumbling in the darkness. I love you, Son. I miss you terribly and I will remember you ALWAYS! Happy Heavenly Birthday my "Shining Star".    "Ma"

Hi, Scott. I have been gonna write to you for a long time. I think about you most every day. While thinking of you I also think of your mom. I can't even imagine how she feels but I do feel her pain. I really wish we lived close together so I can hold her in my arms. Let her cry if she wants.Let her scream if she needs to. If she feels she wants to go running just to rid herself of pent up frustration or whatever she needs to do. I hate myself for living so far from your mom. She needs someone to be able to talk out her hurt and frustration. I think she needs someone to just talk to and listen to what she has to say and help her to try to go on without so much pain. I know she loves you and misses you more than anyone can comprehend. So, Scott........please show yourself to her every now and again. She needs to know you're there. Since I can't be with your mom physically I will pray for her. You have a very amazing mom. Well, Scott, I love and miss you as well. Remember...visit Mom.

"Small things can trigger a fresh wave of grief....a smell, a look or perhaps a song....within seconds you are flung into a time machine and are transported back to that 'moment' when time stood still and the world had crashed at your feet!" I experience this quite often. I'm back to square one, having to face life without you and believing that it's true. I miss you so much, Scott! Love forever "Ma"

I'm here, Son. I never stop missing you. I pray every day for you to come to my dreams so I can see your smile, feel your presence again. It's been awhile now. My life isn't anything like I thought it would be at this age. I struggle thru each day, telling myself tomorrow will be better, but it never is. Those I needed so much in my life are gone and it seems there's not much left for me to do. But God has me here still for a reason, so I hang on, pray and wait. I love you and miss you SO much. "Ma"

Son, my heart has not healed from losing you and now we release my big sister, Sandi's, soul and pray you and so many others are there to greet her and welcome her to her eternal home. Come to my dreams and leave me signs that you are still with me. I miss you so much and await my exit from this world. Love always, "Ma"

We think about you always, we talk about you still; You have never been forgotten, and you never will. We hold you close within our hearts and there you will remain; to walk and guide us always until we meet again!
Love n miss you Son! "Ma"