ForeverMissed
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When I grow up

August 21, 2012

Kiahna cried for you last night during our prayer time. Me, Kiahna and Avie were lying in Kiahna's bed, well except for Avie she decided she wanted to lie on the floor. As we were all lying in the dark we started a conversation about what they want to be when grow up. Kiahna said she told you she wanted to be a teacher, however you replied  " your too smart to be a teacher." I don't think you realized how serious she took this. Now she says she has to do something else. She started crying and said, "if I could just have one more time with him then I could ask him what I should be." I told her you probably wanted her to be a scientist and that she could teach science. She has such a big sensitive heart. She miss you greatly. We all miss you dearly.
Avie on the other hand.... man that girl's tough. She told me when she thinks about it she just stops and thinks happy thoughts. I told her sometimes it's good to cry and be sad, but she says, "nope, I just don't think about it." Then we had a long conversation about how people deal with losing someone they love and we talked about how some people have different reactions and that some get sad, cry, or get angry. She says , "Jim gets angry, he goes in his room and shuts the door and watches tv in his underwear." I chuckled. Kids and their perceptions. So raw and honest. I think she is wise for her age and is always "secretly" concerned about everyone. She loves you so much. We all love you so much.

dream

August 1, 2012

I had a dream about you last night.
 I came out to the living room at Jim's house and there you were sitting on the couch chair where Jim's loveseat is at. You were facing forward with your legs crossed nonchalantly and looked healthy and happy.  Tom was sitting at the living room counter facing us and Jim was sitting on the couch. In the dream you had never passed away and somehow it was all a mistake. I pinched you and tap you to make sure you were alive... you kind of did one of your famous chuckles. I looked at Tom and he smiled and rolled his eyes. All of us  just couldn't believe it. I said to all of you out-loud, "Is this real or just a dream? are you really alive?" The dream was one of the few dreams that a person has that seem so vivid and real. I remember thinking to myself, but didn't say it out-loud then "then who's body was it?... Who was cremated?" But, sadly the dream went on to something else that was nonsensical and I woke up shortly after....

Snake Hunter

July 19, 2012

Sean,
One of the thing about you that seems to resonate the most is how protective you are. I remember when we were both teenagers we took a trip to Sabino Canyon to meet our friends. You were ahead about me by several yards and I just saw flashes of the back of your shirt as you were so quick to run around the trees and so light-footed as you jumped over rocks. That's how we were two kids that could run anywhere. We grew up exploring nature and learned how to maneuver through the desert like two little Indians. As I was running along my foot landed just inches from a rattle snake, but out of no where there you were. I remember your arm reached across me as you grabbed the snake by its tail and flipped it back and forth on a rock like Crocodile Dundee. It was a sight to see, you were absolutely fearless and never hesitated when it came to protecting me. Thank you for these memories. I will deeply miss having more.
love u!
Your sis,
Amie

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