by Lubaina Fidaali

This eulogy was read at the funeral service of Sham on January 10, 2014 at the Association of Progressive Dawoodi Bohras of Ontario (APDBO) Centre, Hamilton, Canada.

Today, we are gathered to say our goodbye to our dear friend, Shahnaz Banu, who we lovingly used to call Sham. There are not enough words that can express our grief and condolences to Sham’s family. I will attempt a few words to describe Sham and the lovely and full life she had lived.

Sham had turned 42 this year, a birth date she shared with husband, Rashid. She was born in Udaipur to Mohammedbhai and Zainubben Dehliwalla. Sham’s sister is Shakila Banu, who we are now so familiar with, and she has 2 brothers  Hatim and Mumtaz, who live in Udaipur.  Before she married Rashid Sanwarwalla, Sham had graduated in an Arts degree in Udaipur. Later on she completed a course on teaching children with special kids and was worked at Springlfield school in Mississauga

Sham had so many fine qualities, she was beautiful and charming as we all know her, always smiling and looking like she was always enjoying life. Additionally she had 2 other qualities that those who knew her well would acknowledge – she had infectious enthusiasm and a real sense of adventure.

I first met Sham, when she had come to Canada in 2002 to deliver Aqsa.  She was hosted by Shaukat and Shahnaz Ajmeri.  Her bravery really struck me at that time. To arrive in a foreign country and have a baby and then travel back to Kuwait with the newborn is not an easy task. But Sham handled that in her normal easy way, with optimism and enthusiasm.

Sham and Rashid returned to Canada from Kuwait in 2005 to start a new life with their 2 children. They have enriched the lives of the community and that of their friends. Aftab and I were privileged to count ourselves amongst a close set of friends with Rashid and Sham. Over the years we have celebrated so many major milestones, summer camping trips and many, many parties. Sham was always game to participate and organize any event. She was a wonderful cook and a team player. She would always be the first one at the sink to help clear up and never without a smile.

I particularly remember Sham, when she returned to Canada. It was in 2005, during a camping trip at Algonquin Park. We had organized a 10 K hike one day and to my surprise Sham was the first to jump in the car. I was not sure she would be up to it, but she marched past all of us and seemed to be the one enjoying the walk in nature more than any of us. Such was her sense of adventure. Rashid and Sham drove to Eastern Canada one year and made a trip to East Africa another.  Sham’s enthusiasm took her family to places where most us only dream of going. In Kenya they met up with Arif and Leena Mandviwalla (Fehmi’s brother and his wife) and with my sister and mother and bonded with them instantly. Today, they too grieve and pass on their condolences to Sham’s family.

We are a community in mourning today. We have barely registered the passing away of our dear Naseen Behn and now face Sham’s loss. May we all have the fortitude to bear this and move forward.

To Sham’s friends, our lives have lost a certain joy and our laughter will not be as raucous.  But Sham’s charm and happy spirit will be reminder of the happy memories.

Shahnaz, Shaukat, Akhtar, Saira, Danish, Kaamel and Tahzin, you have all be a rock of support to Rashid and Sham throughout their lives in Canada and especially during the last trying year of their lives. May you find forbearance and strength during these difficult times.

Shakila Banu, only a sister can feel your pain today. Your constant companionship and care in the last year was a comfort for Sham, Rahid, Arsh and Aqsa. We pray that in time, you will overcome your grief and can smile at a lifetime or memories you shared with Sham.

Mohammebhai and Zainubben, aapki beti Sham bohut pyari our bholi thi, per shaid, Allah ko zyada payari lagi. Hum sab ki dua hein ke aapko sabr aur sukum milee.

Rashid, you have been a wonderful husband. This was reflected in how happy Sham always looked. You were a perfect family, wanting for nothing more. During her illness, you left no stone unturned to make her life comfortable and indeed to find a treatment for her. As a father, Arsh and Aqsa are surely lucky to have such a good “buddy”.  Your concern for their well being has always been evident – you were the one who worried when the kids were not back from the park or if Aqsa was not wearing a warm enough  cardigan. While you will not be able to replace Sham’s place as a mother, you will fill a very large gap in their lives.

Arsh and Aqsa, over the next little while, it is ok if you feel sad and even angry. We all feel the same. It will also be ok for you to go back to school and play and enjoy your friends company once again. It will be ok to smile, laugh and find happiness. It is what your mama always prayed for, for you.

Arsh, your mama’s good graces are shown in your thoughtful and kind mannerisms, in the way you greet people, ask about their health and even compliment an aunty on how she looks. Your mama taught you well.

Aqsa, when you smile in the mirror, as you try on a pair of earrings or a new dress, it will be your mama smiling back at you. Her beauty and good taste show on you. She always wanted you to look pretty and feel good.

Arsh and Aqsa, over the years whether you play a game, excel in your studies or travel the world, your mama’s enthusiasm and adventurous spirit will be driving you. Remember your mama wanted the best in life for you. She prayed for your happiness always.