ForeverMissed
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Her Life

Infinity and Beyond we will meet again

January 5, 2016

My crazy sister, that's what I called her because she was always doing crazy stuff. She always made me laugh, cry, live, dance, she brought out a side of me that I wouldn't normally show. If she got into something, I was either there watching her back or she was calling me saying sis your not going to believe this and sometimes it really was hard to believe, but no matter what it was I was there for support. She loved to cook, all holidays with family, and she loved making others laugh and happy. I loved making her laugh cause 9 times out of 10, I knew she would pee. One time I did it and we were all dressed up. When we were together usually she was always squating, one minute I'm talking and the next she is gone, squating on the street, in the lanes at stores, or even in the back of a car. I remember her getting me up Xmas eve, grabbing my hand and sneaking to the living room to see if we could catch Santa and to see what we got. She was ocd when it came to herself or her house. She always looked nice and so did her house. When my mom left us at a young age, she stepped in and tried to be Mon, but of course I wasn't having it. We would fight because she would try to rule me. One day I locked her out in the snow in her night gown, I went and put layers of cloths on and unlocked the door and ran out the back, I knew she couldn't catch me cause her feet and body was frozen. We grew out of the fighting stage. She looked at me one day and said; sis I love you more than life or anything in this world and from this day on we are never fighting again, we shook on it and gave each other hugs and never fought again. We loved each other, supported each other, and always had one anothers back. We were like Thelma and Louise. She always said, sis I really think we are twins because we knew what each other was feeling even if we were miles apart. She would call me crying, I would say sis what's wrong she would say, oh it's this dam commercial, or she was watching little house on the prairie, or days of our lives. But she was fighting a battle even I couldn't help her fight. She would call me crying, or singing me a song that reflected our childhood, I knew she was drinking. She would try to quit, but she said the demon would talk to her. She was depressed and said , sis if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here. You are my world. I begged her to get help. She would go to counseling, rehab, and even did nine months of in house rehab, but couldn't stop. I knew some day it was going to get her and it did. I would cry and say please sis stop, I don't want you to die and she would cry too and say sis I try, but I just can't. She had severe depression and said her life was ruined. Five years ago today I received the worst call of my life, her amonia levels went threw the roof, her body went into shock, and she was rushed to the hospital. I had to decide what to do, whether to put her on life support or not. I told the doc to go ahead that I was on my way. She went through a lot leading up to this, but we thought we could some how beat it.  From Nov. 29th - Jan.  5th, she fought it. I was going to give her half my liver, and a kidney. I discussed it with the liver team and if I was compatible they said I could do it. There was one problem, she had an infection and they couldn't find what was causing it. She came out of it and was moved to a regular floor. I came HM to take my finals in college. We talked every day. I told her I would do anything I could to save her, she said, sis we can beat it, we have been through worse. She also said she had never been so sick or scared. She said she would always be with me and she loved me and of course she said infinity and beyond. I let her win and say it first. She ended back in ICU back on ventilator. We never spoke again. I had to make the decision to take her off the ventilator and transfer my best friend, sis, and my world to hospice. At this point I had to throw all my feelings out the window and think of her. I had to be strong for her kids and there for them. Each day in hospice I prayed with her, the kids and the preachers that would come in. I would go to the chapel and pray every day. I would lay by her side every night and listen for each breath, if something was abnormal I was up and on it. She was there 17 days with nothing. The docs said they never had seen anyone so strong in all their days there. She didn't want to leave us. The day she passed I wasn't there, but got there soon after she passed. I had to txt and call family, well I was checking my messages back and what I saw was unreal, it was her. It was a picture she sent me when she was better for that week. Even though she was so sick, she sent me a picture of her smiling. She also looked like my sis, as beautiful as ever. Her skin and face was perfect. She looked like my Sissy. I then had to bring all her stuff and her back from NY to Ohio. This was not going to be easy. She was in a little box. This to this day I can't handle. I think I cried all the way back. I placed a picture of us inside the box telling her I love her forever and from infinity and beyond. If you have any memories please share. She would love it. Thank you for reading and bless u.