Fifty Three Years: The Director's Cut
It was wonderful connecting with all of you at Sheryl’s celebration of life. Following is an unedited version of my tribute to Sheryl.
Good Afternoon.
Mr. Larson, Renee, Jana, Hank, Hannah, Ella, Taya & Kyle: I’m holding you especially close in my heart, as I share in your crushing grief. Hank, thank you for your steady care of Sheryl. Her eyes sparkled whenever she spoke of you.
“My Cup Runneth Over” when I think of the friendship I had with Sheryl and I’m grateful for the honor of remembering her with you today.
Sheryl always greeted me with “Hello, my oldest friend”. What she really meant was our friendship was the longest - for both of us.
We first met in fourth grade, I was a new girl and we clicked over our matching bass weejuns. With her typical kindness and concern for others, Sheryl took me in. Her talent for making each of us feel special was already fully-formed at age nine. I count her friendship as one of the greatest gifts of my life.
Our lives intertwined throughout grammar school, middle school and high school. We attended the University of Illinois together, living in the same dorm, across the hall from each other. We both had Pam as our college roommate, sharing many (redacted) episodes. It was the ‘70’s.
Sheryl and I were each other’s date, to a pig roast, the night Toni introduced her to Hank (who wasn’t wearing a lime green jacket that evening). Sheryl uncharacteristically ditched me, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Hank and Sheryl were married a few months later at Avanzare, a hip Chicago restaurant where our late friend Dennis, the chef/owner, created a Larson/Kinzie worthy dinner party.
Sheryl was such a lover of good food & music, hence a glorious hostess. She brought a certain sharpness to almost any discussion and graced our senses with thoughtfulness and style. She was intuitive – tenacious – courageous and her girls are a mirror image of her.
Sheryl listened to understand and not just to reply. That’s why she was the unofficial Godmother to so many of her friend’s children, including my daughter, KK. Taryn, Lucian and Andrew are blessed with Sheryl as their official Godmother.
Sheryl was my most steadfast, supportive friend. Not only did she encouraged me to start a baking business, she also served up my best customer, Jonathan Black and his 7-tier wedding cake order - a feat Sheryl, Jonathan, Kaarina and I were still discussing at Hannah’s wedding, some twenty years later.
Sheryl and I were kindred planners and perfect travel partners. I went on more soul-restoring getaways with Sheryl than any other friend.
Sheryl’s long fashioned, magnetic persona offered “shelter from the rain.” She always responded with patience to see things through and found time to thank the people who made a difference in her life.
I’m finding it very hard to live without Sheryl. Our lives will simply not be the same. She was a fetching, bright light and so reliable. Could Ginny, Jill, Susan and I not notice this month the birthday card we didn’t receive? She had mastered friendship and personal interaction.
We all know Sheryl doled out wise words. She taught me “belief in yourself” is “the head chemist of the mind”. She also shared practical strategies and gave me the best driving tip ever: if someone is tailgating you, press the emergency blinker button. It works every time. So very Sheryl: non-aggressive yet effective.
Her mindset of “living in the present” was a valuable asset. She believed the purpose of life is to evolve and become a better human being. Sheryl was a fully evolved human being.
Quite fittingly, one of our last outings together was a trip to a fabulous shoe store in Kansas City. Sheryl was clad in her Chloe studded ankle boots: “Retail therapy”, she said, after completing her targeted therapy. Our friendship was bookended by a mutual love of design (& shoes!).
Our final time together was last May, at my family’s Wisconsin vineyard. What was planned as four days of fun ended up being two days of goodbyes.
I now realize Sheryl was resolved to honor our last get-together. Short on energy, she still swung by the Milwaukee airport on her drive up to retrieve Toni, who had flown in from San Diego. As always, Sheryl was determined, helpful, and loyal. Toni and I hold the memory of those two days with very deep reverence. There is no doubt in our mind this was divine timing.
We bundled Sheryl in blankets, as we sat by the bonfire endlessly talking and forgetting to let Hank know she’d arrived safely. We plied her with homemade soup, massaged her feet with essential oils, and tucked ourselves in bed with her, sharing photos on our phones.
Sheryl spoke about not wanting to leave this world or those she loved, so soon. Her words were brave, painful, and true. She marveled about beauty and nature. She summed up friendship with this quote from Ghandi:
“Friendship that insists on agreement on all matters is not worth the name. Friendship to be real must ever sustain the weight of honest differences, however sharp they be.”
We are all greater to have had the privilege and joy of knowing Sheryl. She was confidant, authentic, lived her values daily, and held herself to a high standard.
May we carry on her legacy by doing as much as we can to help others, and by being the very best version of ourselves for the rest of our days.
I will always hold a sanctuary in my heart for Sheryl Larson.
Thank you and I send love to all of you.