I am Sally Beelner and Shirley was my friend. I do not use that word loosely.  A friend is one who guides you, supports you, laughs at your stories, even if they are not funny and does not allow you to indulge in too much self pity. A friend pushes you to be better than you are.  Sharing boxed wine, day old bread and cheese with a friend becomes a feast.  Yes, Shirley was my friend.

I met shirley at the bridge table.  Shirley, a proper, older woman was a fierce competitor and would always stand her ground.  We would battle eachother over the meaning of cue bids, weak twos and short clubs.  I I misplayed, in her eyes, she would go stone cold.  I am a better bridge player because of Shirley.

For the past five years, Shirley and I went to the Mark Taper Forum-season ticket holders, in the nose bleed section.  We'd either pack a picnic lunch, which always included red wine and dark chocolate-need to get our antioxidents you know.  Or we'd hit Phillip's for a French dip sandwich, beer and 10c coffee.  It was a sad day when the price wet to 35c. We would talk about god, with a small g, politics, books we had read and of course our grandchildren.

Mother Teresa said it best:
Take time to think
take time to pray
take time to laugh

It is the source of power
It is the greatest power on earth
It is the music of the soul.

Take time to play
Take time to love and be loved
Take time to give

It is the secret of perpetual youth
It is God's given privilege
It is too short a day to be shelfish

Take time to read
Take time to be friendly
Take time to work

It is the fountain of wisdom
It is the road to happiness
It is the price of success

Take time to do charity
It is the key to heaven

I read this every day and I cannot help but think of my friend Shirley

From my years of working with Shirley as the President of the Arthritis Foundation Orange County Auxiliary and a board member of the Orange County Advisory Board, she was not only a selfless, loyal and dedicated philanthropist but also a great friend.

Shirley was always dedicated to the mission of the Arthritis Foundation and made it her daily passion to raise money to help the children who suffer with arthritis but always make in impact in the community through money raised for research and programs.

Her absence will create a great gap but her memories will remain strong. At the last auxiliary meeting, I remembered Shirley setting up her home beautifully for us to enjoy lunch, catch up and share the progress of the Foundation. Before we started, Shirley held the flag up high and waved it in the air as we did the pledge of allegiance. And at the last Arthritis Foundation juvenile arthritis conference, 1,250 people came from 42 states. The theme was super hero and Shirley arrived as her super hero, wearing a Dr. Seuss hat because she wanted the children to be happy.

Shirley, we will miss you dearly. Your smile and laugh will be everlasting.

For me, my memories are about what great friends, both Shirley and Bob, together and separately, were to my parents, Jules & Helen.  When we count our lifetime friends, there are a few that last through all the trials and tribulations of life.  They all kept in contact, even into the elder years. When a major event occurred or they need to touch base, as life changed they talked and supported each other.  Even when life was tough for me, Shirley and Bob were there to care and with understanding.  We miss them, but remember the laughs and wonderful times they had with their friends.

Shirley had a twinkle in her eyes and a smile that would not quit.  Our condolences to all of her children and grandchildren.  She will live on in spirit with all of you.

Pam Gage Ferguson