ForeverMissed
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January 14, 2014

I am Sally Beelner and Shirley was my friend. I do not use that word loosely.  A friend is one who guides you, supports you, laughs at your stories, even if they are not funny and does not allow you to indulge in too much self pity. A friend pushes you to be better than you are.  Sharing boxed wine, day old bread and cheese with a friend becomes a feast.  Yes, Shirley was my friend.

I met shirley at the bridge table.  Shirley, a proper, older woman was a fierce competitor and would always stand her ground.  We would battle eachother over the meaning of cue bids, weak twos and short clubs.  I I misplayed, in her eyes, she would go stone cold.  I am a better bridge player because of Shirley.

For the past five years, Shirley and I went to the Mark Taper Forum-season ticket holders, in the nose bleed section.  We'd either pack a picnic lunch, which always included red wine and dark chocolate-need to get our antioxidents you know.  Or we'd hit Phillip's for a French dip sandwich, beer and 10c coffee.  It was a sad day when the price wet to 35c. We would talk about god, with a small g, politics, books we had read and of course our grandchildren.

Mother Teresa said it best:
Take time to think
take time to pray
take time to laugh

It is the source of power
It is the greatest power on earth
It is the music of the soul.

Take time to play
Take time to love and be loved
Take time to give

It is the secret of perpetual youth
It is God's given privilege
It is too short a day to be shelfish

Take time to read
Take time to be friendly
Take time to work

It is the fountain of wisdom
It is the road to happiness
It is the price of success

Take time to do charity
It is the key to heaven

I read this every day and I cannot help but think of my friend Shirley


January 9, 2014

From my years of working with Shirley as the President of the Arthritis Foundation Orange County Auxiliary and a board member of the Orange County Advisory Board, she was not only a selfless, loyal and dedicated philanthropist but also a great friend.

Shirley was always dedicated to the mission of the Arthritis Foundation and made it her daily passion to raise money to help the children who suffer with arthritis but always make in impact in the community through money raised for research and programs.

Her absence will create a great gap but her memories will remain strong. At the last auxiliary meeting, I remembered Shirley setting up her home beautifully for us to enjoy lunch, catch up and share the progress of the Foundation. Before we started, Shirley held the flag up high and waved it in the air as we did the pledge of allegiance. And at the last Arthritis Foundation juvenile arthritis conference, 1,250 people came from 42 states. The theme was super hero and Shirley arrived as her super hero, wearing a Dr. Seuss hat because she wanted the children to be happy.

Shirley, we will miss you dearly. Your smile and laugh will be everlasting.

 

Friends

January 8, 2014

For me, my memories are about what great friends, both Shirley and Bob, together and separately, were to my parents, Jules & Helen.  When we count our lifetime friends, there are a few that last through all the trials and tribulations of life.  They all kept in contact, even into the elder years. When a major event occurred or they need to touch base, as life changed they talked and supported each other.  Even when life was tough for me, Shirley and Bob were there to care and with understanding.  We miss them, but remember the laughs and wonderful times they had with their friends.

Shirley had a twinkle in her eyes and a smile that would not quit.  Our condolences to all of her children and grandchildren.  She will live on in spirit with all of you.

Pam Gage Ferguson

 

 

The ham bone

January 6, 2014

One of my favorite memories of my mom was the Christmas of the missing ham bone.  Shirley had wanted the leftover bone for soup (as she always made the best homemade soups).  The whole family shared a beautiful dinner and as always cleanup was chaotic.  After everyone left, Shirley starts to hunt for the ham bone.  She was determined that my family had taken it because at the time we had a yellow lab named Bailey and I would give my Bailey everything!  We did not have it.  She then proceeded to call  Amy and accuse her of throwing it away.  This went on all the next day with Shirley determined to call Peggy and Steve to see who took her missing ham bone..............No one had............but she was sure we did.  She got even steamer and steamer.....then on the third day she went to use her oven.  She had put the leftover bone in her oven.  There it sat!!! She was mad - we all laughed and laughed.  Shirley failed to see the humor.  We still laugh about it today.  So moral of the story------ never put your hambone in the oven!!!  We love you mom!! Miss your soup........

From Jackie and Don -Moms Cousins

January 4, 2014

So many times with relations, some live close by and you see them on a regular basis, others live many miles away, and for some unexplained reason there seems to always be excuses that create problems in seeing each other.  And, because of this you seem to lose touch, but yet you always continue to think about them and wish that things had worked out differently.

This is how it was with our Aunt Ann and Uncle Bob and cousins Shirley and Bobby.  They came to Oklahoma City to visit our two families and, of course, my grandmother was there, so this gave them a special reason to come.

I can remember ther first time they came, it was I believe in 1948 when Don and I would have been 12 years old and Shirley would have been 14 almost 15.  What a great week that was, and I can remember it almost like it was last summer.  Shirley was one of the most beautiful young girls I had ever seen and such fun to be with.  We did more in that one week than most would do in the entire summer.  We played games on Donny's back porch each day, and the evening were alwasys spent in the Douglas' back yar after dinner telling stories about "the family", or simply looking at the stars on the beautiful summer evenings.  And, there was always a cold watermelon to eat that we would go get out of the big ice cooler on 23rd street for 50 cents!

You see, this was a time that was so wonderful to be young and alive---the late 40's and throughout the 50's.  Parents  didn't worry about where their children were, because they knew everyone "in the neighborhood" and were safe.

It was a time we played "kick the can" and "hide and seek" and everything seemed so simple.  That summer with Shirley meant so much to us that we felt we had been together forever.  We would go swimming at one of the local pools during the daytime and went to the big amusement park one time.  That had the biggest pool in town--Springlake was the name and had a big ride called the "Big Dipper" that everyone had to ride.

So, this was the summer we got to know our cousins from California--Shirley and Bobby.  Aunt Ann and Uncle Bob came back a couple of times to see our grandmother, but it would be many years before we would see Shirley again, yet our thoughts were always with her.  Bobby came to Norman to stay with me for a week at the Kappa Sig house and we had a grand time.  Later Shirley visited Aunt Betty, Don's mother several times.  Judy and I would come to see my mother and we would all visit.  One time was when Don's daughter, Jennifer, got married--that was a great visit.  We would visit on occasion on the phone, but it was never the same as being together.

Then in October of this year, I got a call from Don and he said we need to take a trip to California as soon as possbile as Shirley was sick.  So, I called and she told me the bad news, we both shed tears and set a date to come in November.  Donny and his wife Tiana and myself (Judy couldn't come.)  We had a great "reunion" and took her out to eat and mostly just talked about old times and of course, plyed with her beautiful dogs who I adored--we're all dog people.  We have six dogs, Don and Tiana eight or nine.  They lose count!

As we drove away on our last day, Shirley stood at the door and put her hand to her heart telling us she loved us.  There are two things that I took away from that day, one is to not put off seeing people you love and care for, and the other was that I was so glad we met a number of her kids and grandkids.  Amy and I have talked numerous times in the last several weeks, and will continue our relationship--we seemed to "hit it off" with each other.

Shirley was a special person and had a deep love for her children and grandchildren and her church.  She will be so missed, but we have the memories of this last visit and of that summer so long ago that only seems like yesterday.

Jackie Backe
Written for Donny, Tiana and Judy                         

My Mom

December 22, 2013

Mom,

We love you and you will never be forgotten.

We love you,

Scott, Yolanda, and Alexis Hunter 

By Grandaughter Emma

December 22, 2013

I hope you have fun up there Grandma with God. I hope you are having fun with Grandpa. Grandma I love you!  By Emma Roginson

One of Shirley's Beautiful Prays...

December 22, 2013

I received a couple of prayers my mom had written for her church and the practitioner work she provided to others.  This particular one reminded me of her and I wanted to share it.  She was inspired by an unknown author: "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." 


"Ah yes, my potential is so much more that I have ever even thought about, it is magnificent! And so I stop my motion at this minute to think and to feel, to remind myself again just who and what I am.  And as I breath that thought in I am aware that I am recognizing my connection of ONENESS with not only the Divine but with everyone on this planet.

I am perfect, whole and complete just as I am this minute.  And I am excited to go to the next minute.  I am aware that I am just one person, however, when I am doing the work of the Divine, the goodness multiples and spreads out into the hearts and souls of everone I meet when their hearts are open too.  And then we are then be reminded of our oneness as we pass our goodness to someone else.  We may be just one more person on this earth but we have the potential to be so much more than that.  I claim that potential for me to work with and to work for.  Will it be smiling at a stranger, will it be waiting in traffic patiently, will it be the kindness I give to myself at the end of the day by doing what I need to do for my health.  It will be everything I am capable of of doing and if my heart does not sing and endorphines do not surge through my body thenI will know to do more or do something different because there are no mistakes, I can turn  a different corner.  I promise myself that I will be a passenger for this energy, for it's life giving stardust is shining in my veins always there and always waiting to be expressed.

I finish my day with gratitude for my heritage of ONENESS.  I will not forget who I am and what I am made of.  I will not forget why I am here, not only to enjoy all of our planet's resources but to nourish them and show my gratitude with an awareness of conservation to our EARTH.  I am ONE with BEAUTY, LOVE, PEACE, JOY, LIGHT and LIFE and so is everybody else.  Thank You GOD!"  

If my Mom had a chance to leave a pray for all her family and friends, this would have probably been the one. I know this is a message she would want us all to remember and strive to live by!  Daughter Amy

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