Dear Sifa,
Today is 3 Months since you’ve been gone. Gone...but where? We can't call you on the phone; No BBM, no E-mail, no WhatsApp, no Viber message, we can't knock on your door somewhere and you open for us as it use to be. No matter how loud we scream you can’t respond.
A thousand times we needed you, A thousand times we cried, If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. A heart of gold stopped beating; two twinkling eyes closed to rest. God broke our hearts to prove he only took the best; never a day goes by that you’re not in our heart and our soul.
This morning as I sit here looking up to the sky I keep on asking myself WHY; I have cried and pleaded for a day to come; A day that I would get over it, a day that I can accept the fact that you are really gone. Ma Sifa, Ma Sifa ulituweza kweli. Mavi yako mbalala….
The memories of you will always be locked in the corridors of my mind and they will be visited from time to time. You left this world so soon, but with dignity and grace; forever in our heart you will have a huge place; I miss you sister.
I wonder if you know how many lives you have touched, Do you know that people here love you so much? Can you even know how many dreams you made come true? Or if you can hear the voices saying I love you? Do you know how many lives you have changed, And how many lives you completely rearranged?
I wish I could have just one more year. For some of us it is just hard to picture the rest of our lives without you here. Just another chance to spend the evening together, and share a laugh. Do you know you'll be greatly missed by us all?
Just one more time I want to hear you're voice when I call. Just one more laugh, one more time to see you walk through the door, another smile, another story, another hug, another day...Just one more.
At the beginning, memories of you came crashing in, beautiful, and angry, as I was very angry. Today they are gentler, but no less vivid. You are no less colorful, no less a part of my story. You just play a different role. I really hope were you are there is Justice and you don't have to fight for any Human right anymore.
However, I am starting to reclaim my place in the world. Each of us has to do so in order to truly live. I know it will be much harder for Daniel, Odette and Jeff. Thinking of them HARDER sounds as a weak word, I mean something close to IMPOSSIBLE. But we all have to try and be strong. We all contribute. We all err. We start anew and wait for our day.
I don’t know what you would say today if you were here among us in the living world. But I know that death doesn’t destroy love. It only heightens the experience.
Please continue to be a greeter of angels, my sister.
Say hi to Dad, Louis, Aime, Jeff’s Dad, Munya’s Mom and many, many others that we miss a lot.
I will see you again someday. Good Bye Angel.
Your Brother Roger.