ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Spring Friedlander 75 years old , born on July 24, 1943 and passed away on March 22, 2019. We will remember her forever.
Posted by Patrice Woeppel on July 24, 2020
Your birthday will be remembered, dear Spring. Happy Bday in the great beyond.
Posted by Carol Silver on March 22, 2020
Today is the yahrzeit (anniversary of date of death) of Spring Friedlander, friend, feminist, leader, obsessively unique in her choices of life, love and death. Thank you, Spring, for helping us see you, and life, in different ways. You will be, as the mantra of this web site suggests, Forever Missed. Love,
Carol Ruth Silver
Posted by Delsa White on August 9, 2019
I hope someone will read this on the occasion of the Memorial for Spring. We were long life friends as I posted before. Spring and I used to commune during our lives about our left wing upbringings. I believe Spring was worried for us and this country and the direction it was headed. Her life is a tribute to trying and, at times to making things work better; and the outcome, for better or worse could never be as bad as the politics of this period we are watching unfold. She has done her part and I hope we all keep on keeping on for the good causes Spring cared about.
Posted by Carolyn Arnold on August 9, 2019
Spring was a pioneer, and a brave one, as a bisexual, a co-housing advocate, and in living and dying . I honor her life and her spirit! I knew her from the 1970s in the women's community in Berkeley. She was a model of being strong and forthright at a time when we were all learning to speak up for ourselves. A year ago, I recorded an interview with her about her experiences as a bisexual in the women's lesbian community in Berkeley in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s. She put the transcript in her archives. Thank you for living such a large and important life, Spring! Your spirit lives on in your work and the people you touched.  I am sorry to miss this event with others who loved and appreciated Spring. Have a great celebration!
Posted by Spring Friedlander on August 5, 2019
Evite, to August 11 event
https://www.evite.com/event/01F45UNFX23RKIRAMEPJVHQ4EL3DBI/activity

Location: Shoreline Center in the MLK regional Shoreline, Oakland (near Oakland Airport)
https://www.ebparks.org/activities/corpfamily/shoreline/default.htm
Posted by Patrice Woeppel on July 24, 2019
You will always be remembered, dear Spring. You were amazing, and will be missed.
Posted by Deet Lewis on July 22, 2019
I met Spring when she was a shy 9-year-old Ruthy. She was in a group I lead (I was 15 then) in HaShomer HaTzair, a SocialistZionist
youth organization. We stayed in touch over these MANY year and I often stayed in her communal house during the 3 years that I lived in California. I always admired how she came out of her shyness, embraced her parents' progressive ideas and lived in her own unique way.  I died in that unique way too, and I admire her bravery to continue to be strong and resourceful all the way to the END. BRAVA Spring!
Posted by Laura X on July 21, 2019
it was wonderful seeing Spring Friedlanders Estate on the big screen at the SFJFF, where we always saw each other.. the estate made a donation ie per her wishes..
let me repost my request for donations for us to finish cataloging what she left in trust for us.. and shipping costs from STL to SFLAbor.
these will be shipped Just the week after her birthday, fittingly enuf! thanks all, in advance and belatedly for caring for her and therefore all of us.. lx
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Posted by Laura X on May 26, 2019
hello, I just got an announcement that says there is a new tribute , but I don't see it,, so i will say hello to you all, amazing how many of you i know but did not know that she knew you!
fyi we are currently fundraising for turning over her collections she asked me to curate and ship to U of Houston with the 1000 boxes we have culled down.. and to the SF State Labor History archives.. The Bancroft library requires 1000 a box if someone donates to them for them to process it.
hopefully SF State will not require that, but it is a costly process..
any donations for the Breakaway or Tradeswomen collections are so welcome at http://Lauraxarchives.org in Spring's honor.
Posted by Robin Woodstock on July 20, 2019
Hi
Is there any more information about a celebration/memorial for Spring on her birthday? Please let me know. Thanks
Posted by Grace England on June 9, 2019
Ms. Spring will be missed, but we can Celebrate her memory in our hearts everyday. I and a few others are working on a Celebration and I was thinking about the park or marina in Emeryville off of Powell and I880. In order for everyone not to have to rush perhaps Saturday or Sunday near her birthday on Wed. I met Spring in 1983, but in many ways I realize I did not really know her, but enjoyed being around her. Spring will always be with us. Dance and have fun. I can be contacted through Stephanie, if anyone wants more information on the Celebration any contact information to get the Celebration going.
Posted by Delsa White on June 6, 2019
Spring was a friend since the third grade. Our parents were left wing and we could talk about such things during the McCarthy period, a saving grace. I remember Spring continuing to associate with our family; she said he felt like a relative. I remember her choosing her name and changing it from Ruth to Spring, nice choice! A UW grad and then a Hunter College grad and short time city planner, she found more satisfaction in carpentry and working with women and youth. She made a communal life in her own style too. and it lasted about forty years, I think. One of a kind, she was and to the end did it her way. It was good to have Spring in my life.
Posted by Carol Ruth Silver on May 29, 2019
The memorial for Spring on her birthday, a Wednesday -- the 24 of July -- is coming up. We need to plan! Who is thinking about this?  
   Some one on this site suggested reserving the picnic location at Pointe Pinole, where Spring liked to walk. Sounds good to me.
   I suggest late afternoon, say 5:00 PM to 7:00 (some of us work). 
   Spring always liked to do every event as a Pot Luck, which however requires someone to keep tabs (or else A-G bring main dishes and do set-up; H-L bring recyclable plates, cups, napkins, forks & spoons; M-Q bring salads and manage food tables; R-Z bring drinks and deserts, and organize clean-up).
   Someone should make a decision and send out an announcement. Sooner is better, because all of us are multi-taskers!
   I knew and loved Spring for almost forty-six years, and I love her still in her absence. She has used her end of life as she used her living, to point to a new and better way of being in the world, of relating to our environment and to each other. Truly she will be missed, and remembered.
Posted by Laura X on May 26, 2019
hello, I just got an announcement that says there is a new tribute , but I don't see it,, so i will say hello to you all, amazing how many of you i know but did not know that she knew you!
 fyi we are currently fundraising for turning over her collections she asked me to curate and ship to U of Houston with the 1000 boxes we have culled down..  and to the SF State Labor History archives.. The Bancroft library requires 1000 a box if someone donates to them for them to process it.
hopefully SF State will not require that, but it is a costly process..
any donations for the Breakaway or Tradeswomen collections are so welcome at http://Lauraxarchives.org  in Spring's honor.
Posted by Robin Woodstock on May 25, 2019
To Friends of Spring - I hope there will be a memorial for Spring -
Spring - I love your clarity and unwavering commitment to make choices about your life. I honor those choice even though I would have liked to have you still be here to talk and walk with. We shared connection on many levels. I appreciate your integrity and unique wisdom. I liked the ways you tried to manage your life - from organization and time management. Even when it didn't go smoothly or as planned you kept re approaching the areas you wanted to changed. Thanks for taking me to see Hick. I learned a lot over the years. 
All Ways Moving in love
Robin
Posted by Victoria Hamlin on May 22, 2019
Rest in gentle peace, Spring. From our Tradeswomen days, your smile and vibrancy will be remembered.
Posted by Darlene Jang on May 13, 2019
I will remember Spring as a kind and generous soul. She never hesitated to share her vast resources to help women in design and construction. Be at peace.
Posted by CATHERINE CAMPAIGNE on April 25, 2019
I met Spring relatively recently—about two years ago at the funeral of the mother of a friend of mine and a friend of hers. We ended up walking out together and, knowing Toni had been her friend, I asked her how she was doing. She told me she wasn't doing very well and that she was considering committing suicide. This was quite shocking to me, of course. I had recently started offering a Shamanic Healing Clinic once a month and invited Spring to come, thinking that perhaps some work on a spiritual level could return her to balance so that she would feel better. I was quite surprised when she showed up! She became a regular at the clinic for the next year or more, working with all our practitioners here, and received many healings, a soul retrieval, and was reconnected with her own personal power animal who could act as her personal connection to spirit. These things appeared to have a beneficial effect on her as when she returned each month she had more color in her cheeks and seemed more energized. I was once again surprised last summer when she said she was still committed to ending her life. After we had a good talk about it, I finally understood where she was coming from, and the work at the clinic moved in the direction of preparing for her transition, and being ready for what was on the other side.
Spring had a powerful effect on everyone at the clinic with whom she worked, and I really miss her, even though we really didn't know each other very well. I was drawn to her so quickly on our first conversation, and was so sad to learn of her passing without having been able to say goodbye. I know she is finally at peace and without pain. May she walk with the spirits in joy.
Posted by Tiffani Neal on April 23, 2019
It was a pure blessing that our paths crossed as we both served as a educators/teachers.
Spring was a true inspiration to all women especially in all fields construction, & engineering.
She may be gone but she will never be forgotten here on earth.
Prayers to all that knew Ms. Spring...
Posted by Willie Hill on April 17, 2019
I sincerely prayed that you would change your mind about the plans you had made. There were still substantial reasons to continue on in this life.Still the final decision on one's life is theirs alone. Rest it in the peacefulness of your belief.
Posted by Cierra Powe on April 16, 2019
Aunt Spring,
So thankful for the support you have given me and the lessons you've taught me. I learned hardwork and frugality from you. As well as being comfortable being my own person - as you were always you're unique self no matter what. There's no other Spring like you and you are definitely missed! Still can't believe you're gone but happy to know you were at peace when you left.
Cierra
Posted by Stevanne Auerbach on April 12, 2019
Spring
you touched do many in heart mind with your spirit energy thoughts and actions
Blessed to have known you
we celebrate your life and light
we will miss you
thanks for leading the way with courage
Posted by Laura Knoff on April 6, 2019
Congratulations on a life well lived. Rest well.
Posted by Annette Kindred on April 4, 2019
I will miss your generousity, values and determination. Go in peace.
Posted by JJ Noire on April 4, 2019
Spring was a passionate & energetic being. So outgoing. She will be missed.
Posted by Maiyim Baron on April 4, 2019
Thanks for letting me know here, I wasn't sure how this went. Spring was unique and I was priveleged to share some time and space and love with her near the end of her life. Rest well, my friend, and lets do it again on another round of the wheel.
Posted by Bridget Basham on April 3, 2019
Dear Spring R.,
Towards the dark I’ve planted a seed; I hope now, three years later, that a corinicopia awaits you on the rim of that dark. Only you know the details of this journey.
Enjoy your cosmic travels and know that I look forward to chasing you and for you to share all the hidden things, again.
your buddy, Bridget
Posted by Hali Hammer on April 3, 2019
So sorry to hear this. I knew Spring since our Oakland East Bay NOW chapter was in full swing in the 90's. She was a wonderful person.
Posted by Heather Angeloff on March 29, 2019
Goodbye Spring - You are a special soul, and I count myself very lucky to have known you. You are missed.
Posted by Stacey Martin on March 29, 2019
Dear Spring. I am grateful to have known you. Peace and blessing be with you.
Posted by Laura X on March 28, 2019
hi there , do any of you know how to email Aleia to alert her to my note ?
Posted by Bear Dean on March 28, 2019
Much love spring, grateful to have known you. Blessings that you Rest In Peace surrounded by love
Posted by David Lincer on March 27, 2019
Dear Spring;
You and I made a great time together for the last 6 months. I met you through our common connection to the HAI organization. 
That truly describes your intention -- building connections. Because I saw the name of your friend on your phone, I got to call my friend that I had lost connection with. 
And you had a picture of yourself with another of my special friends as well.
I am a larger heart because of our time together, and have watered my face every day recently because of missing you... and that too feels right.
David
Posted by Joan Margaret on March 27, 2019
Love you, always, Spring. Be well now.
Posted by ReeAnn Dixon on March 27, 2019
A warm,. talented and honest woman, very much herself at all times.
I will miss her.
Posted by Jim Charley on March 26, 2019
I had many long conversations with Spring on community living. She seemed to be at all my HAI Workshops - Always there with a little ditty about shared housing and a smile on her face. I miss her...
Posted by Kristi M on March 25, 2019
Spring, I will miss our moments and unique faux pas communication style. Rest easy for a bit, then, come back and stay for a while, my friend. Terra awaits. I'll leave the porch light on for you :)
Posted by Susan Ruth on March 23, 2019
We will miss Spring very much. We always had a good time together!
Posted by Laura X on March 23, 2019
I am so glad i ran into her recently, so she could teach me a bit about about her planned passing before hand, and we could get clear on what she wanted to do with the Breakaway school materials i have for the U of Houston archive I am donating to... and the SF State Labor History Archive will receive the
Tradeswomen materials. What a great organizer she was.
and Aleia your first name is gorgeous.. is it a flower ? your last name intrigues me also because maybe 4 decades ago i met someone with that last name and it suddenly occurs to me that I should have thanked Spring for an introduction because the person was very, very kind to me. i slept for 22 straight hours on her floor.. i wonder if you were there!? Please email me at lauraxarchives@gmail.com ( lauraxinstitute.org) thanks and condolences to all!
Posted by Anita Goldstein on March 23, 2019
I honor Spring's life and death. She brought her conversation and questions to The Brain Exchange, and we were enriched by her honesty, clarity and integrity.
Posted by Patrice Woeppel on March 22, 2019
You will be missed, my dear friend. You were an amazing friend to so many. You were a pioneer for women in construction, and now for ending one's life on one's own terms.
Posted by Matthew LeGrant on March 22, 2019
Farewell Spring- Thanks for your contributions to us all while you were here.
Posted by Aleia Luster on March 22, 2019
Aunt Spring you will be missed and loved forever by me! Thank you for being an essential part of my family's life. Rest Easy

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Patrice Woeppel on July 24, 2020
Your birthday will be remembered, dear Spring. Happy Bday in the great beyond.
Posted by Carol Silver on March 22, 2020
Today is the yahrzeit (anniversary of date of death) of Spring Friedlander, friend, feminist, leader, obsessively unique in her choices of life, love and death. Thank you, Spring, for helping us see you, and life, in different ways. You will be, as the mantra of this web site suggests, Forever Missed. Love,
Carol Ruth Silver
Posted by Delsa White on August 9, 2019
I hope someone will read this on the occasion of the Memorial for Spring. We were long life friends as I posted before. Spring and I used to commune during our lives about our left wing upbringings. I believe Spring was worried for us and this country and the direction it was headed. Her life is a tribute to trying and, at times to making things work better; and the outcome, for better or worse could never be as bad as the politics of this period we are watching unfold. She has done her part and I hope we all keep on keeping on for the good causes Spring cared about.
her Life

MY REASONS FOR SCHEDULING ASSISTED SUICIDE WITH DIGNITAS

I have been surprised that ending my life while still somewhat functional has become one of my main personal and political causes over the past 2.5 years. I have been saying for decades that at some point in the aging process, prior to when my body fully closes down, and while I still have my mental faculties, I will choose not to create another phase of my life.

One reason I am going forward now, is that my physical health keeps slowly spiraling downward with an ever expanding range of problems that began with a serious injury when I was 28 years old. I am tired of the increasing work it takes just to remain barely able to do activities I value. An equally important reason is that my capacity to contribute is vastly diminished now that I have fully retired from being productive professionally, am no longer an active member of a shared household, and in my capacity for political activism.

The cultural presumption is that the best natural death is to die in one’s home, surrounded by loved ones but that’s not the only choice. Nor is it even an option for people like me who are solo agers. Rather than face a long drawn out aging process of unrelenting loss of capability, loss of privacy and dignity, I am actively choosing assisted suicide. Because my German, half Jewish mother, had spent three formative years in Switzerland, she talked to me about suicide as an option for herself. This history with my mother, meant that suicide was not a forbidden topic, but was something that could be discussed.

But then actually doing the deed in a way that avoids legal issues or emotional imposition on others is difficult unless you have a terminal diagnosis (<6 months to live, no hope of recovery).

Proactive dying has become my cause, my project. It is yet another social value that I want to change, by example. This act is deeply appropriate for me as a person, and I believe for many others.

I had two wonderful Celebrations of Life before exiting early by choice by traveling to Switzerland to complete living as a manifested human on this planet, using the services of Dignitas. They allow “weary of life,” as an acceptable reason to choose to die on your own schedule. 21% of the people Dignitas assists have this, not terminal illnesses as their reason for ending their life.

The following is my list of 6 reasons for exiting early by choice:
  5%    1.)  Exchanging meals, food, and socializing with my peers is evaporating.
27%    2.)  To leave $ for people and causes I want to support. 50% people, 50% causes.
21%    3.)  To stop having to limit what I do, due to environmental sensitivities.
27%    4.)   Enough already of dealing with the limitations of a disabled body, exacerbated by the aging process.
15 %   5.) An increasing % of what I want to do electronically and on the web, is a burden or impossible.
 5%    6.)   I might run out of money.
100%

1.)  As a solo ager, with no partner or dependents, my stopping to live will be a loss, but not create a major problem for anyone.
2.)  The main source of my money is having sold the house I lived in. I had saved a little money in an IRA while working as a house remodeler, and I had inherited ½ a million $ from my parents 20 years ago, which we thought would be enough for me to live on for the rest of my life. But before I sold the house I was becoming house rich and cash poor.
3. & 4.)  I know what it takes to live elegantly with a disability, but how I spend my time has tipped downward, in terms of even being able to care for myself, much less contribute to this wonderful world.
5.) The newer methods of communicating are increasingly beyond my capacity.
6.) I feel good when I can contribute money despite having less and less time to support what I believe in. Acting now accomplishes this. Delaying does the opposite.

I dearly hope that you will join Robert, John and others who are planning on offering a workshop at the next Reimagine the end of life in San Francisco Oct. 24-Nov 3, 2019 for a workshop that features a 4 minute video about me titled "The Last Days of Spring".

Index

MY REASONS FOR SCHEDULING ASSISTED SUICIDE WITH DIGNITAS
Index
MY REASONS FOR SCHEDULING WHEN I END MY LIFE, AND MY OPTIONS @ HOW
OUR SHARED HOUSE, MY FAMILY, MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, WORK
MY CHOICES: HERSTORY, CREATING FAMILY/RELATIONSHIPS
Lifestyle Choices in the 1970's & 80's
Adult life Phase I
Adult life Phase II Construction, Business Owner and Teacher, 1980 – 2014
College and Graduate School: Madison and NYC. My First Jobs
Childhood: My Family Heritage
LOTS MORE DETAILS about my life - 1
LOTS MORE DETAILS about my life - 2
LOTS MORE DETAILS about my life - 3

MY REASONS FOR SCHEDULING WHEN I END MY LIFE, AND MY OPTIONS @ HOW

I have been surprised that ending my life while still somewhat functional has become one of my main political causes. I have been saying for decades that at some point in the aging process I will choose not to create another phase of my life, prior to when my body fully closes down. One reason is that my physical health keeps slowly spiraling downward with an ever expanding range of problems. An equally important reason is that my capacity to contribute is vastly diminished now that I have fully retired from being productive both professionally, in a shared household, and in my political activism, etc.I had two wonderful Celebrations of Life before Exiting Early by Choice by traveling to Switzerland to complete living as a manifested human on this planet.

At some point it becomes time to end it all. But then actually doing the deed is difficult.
Dying has become my cause, my project. It is yet another social value that I want to change, by example. This act is deeply appropriate for me as a person, and I believe for many others.

The cultural presumption is that the best natural death is to die in one’s home, surrounded by loved ones.  But at some point a few of us decide that it is time to actually choose death in advance of when physical and perhaps mental infirmities slowly remove my choices.

But then actually doing the deed is difficult.
I am sure that I want to end my life now.  It will not be in my home, partly due to the medical system, and partly out of consideration for others. More resources on this are available through the meetings of the meet-up Options in Dying.

I was surprised that when I retired from my work and household responsibilities, for myself, I choose not to start a new life, but to put effort into communicating to other family members in the younger generations, the few items of family history that I knew uniquely, largely from end of life talks with the generation before me. I also was more comfortable with the topic of suicide than most Americans because my German, half Jewish mother, who had spent three formative years in Switzerland, which contributed to her talking about suicide as an option for herself. This ease of talking about suicide meant that once again as I have entered this last phase of my life, I have drawn a conclusion and a plan of action that I believe is ahead of what many others in our USA culture will come to believe and act on. I am an exception in being on old person who chooses to not reinvent myself in a new and diminished form.

The book “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End,” by Atul Gawande, has been providing me with inspiration for my choice.  It discusses end of life choices about assisted living and the effect of medical procedures on terminally ill people and challenges many traditionally held notions about the role of medicine. The graph on page p. 27 was especially informative for me. It shows how modern medicine provides a pattern of one's physical condition between one's birth and death of repeatedly recovering from physical crisis but with less health, and a lower trajectory, instead of what happened until 200 years ago. Before modern medicine, when one experienced a health crisis one would die quickly, and just a few people were able to live till old age. This article,How to Die Well, According to a Palliative Care Doctor” adds percentages to each path on  graphs similar to those in “Being Mortal”.

On Oct. 16, 2018 I, Spring Friedlander, gave a talk to ‘Death Talks,” on my experience in selecting how to die without a diagnosis of a terminal illness. The California End of Life Option Act (CELOA), physician-assisted dying, only applies in case of a terminal illness. If you are simply ready to die after a life of chronic illness, or in a similar situation, you need an alternative to the Act.

The CELOA went into effect in June 2016 in California,  and about ten other states now have adopted similar acts. Compassion and Choices / Death with Dignity are the organizations that are publicizing / defending this Act and supporting other states to get their version enacted.

At the talk, I discussed two alternatives on how to end one’s life when one does not have a terminal diagnosis:

One alternative is voluntarily refusing food and drink: Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking, (VSED), which is legal in many states. Refusing food and drink at home, VSED, takes time: at least five days for one’s liver and kidneys to fail, which means one is dying; and then another 4 - 5 days to die. Kaiser will provide palliative care at home for the initial period, and then hospice care in the final days. However the transition between palliative and hospice care can be messy. One of the challenges is that Kaiser may send different people at different times, you can't be sure who will show up. Apparently Kaiser has become more supportive of individual people, since I checked with them at the end of December, 2017.

It is good to prepare one's body for VSED by tapering off food and water for 2 - 3 weeks. Then drink only liquid soups (bone broth) and water (down to 8 oz of water / day) for 6-10 days, while taking the amino acid, l-threonine, 200 in the am & pm. In my case I also found two supplements that would keep my sugar levels balanced by taking 6 servings / day of each Collagen Protein- Vite K - 107 with GlycemoVitamin K - 85, both by Apex Energetics. Then one takes the next step, which is to completely stop eating and drinking.

There can be interruptions. People may disagree about your wishes, and you may not have control over your environment because you are dying. So refusing food and drink is simple in concept, but can be complex to execute, especially since you cannot expect to be in control the entire time.  It’s essential to complete Advance Directives before starting this process.

It seems true that the worst outcome to taking your life is failure to complete the process of dying. And without clear responsibility and control, failure is quite possible, even with the best of intentions among everyone present. The chances of success are significantly improved, if there is a team of people who are your advocates, (children, spouse, friends, etc.)

Once I found out about going to Switzerland I choose this path and went through all the steps to apply and be accepted by Dignitas, to end my life. It feels like the right choice for me.   
A second alternative is finding an organization to take responsibility for your death, like Dignitas, in Switzerland. The complexity here is in the initial arrangements and procedures. But once you have completed those, then the actual process is simple: you walk into an apartment in Zurich, Switzerland, you drink a sequence of liquids very similar to what is provided under the CELOA, and within a few minutes you lose consciousness and die. With the help of Dignitas you have complete control over your death, and it is as simple as possible.

Here are some points about Dignitas:

       21% of their clients do not have a terminal illness, but are "weary of life."  Most of their clients are old. The do not service younger people who are suffering from depression. They may service younger people with other types of disabilities.
       Their mailing address is not an actual street address, for privacy
       They require medical opinions from two MDs here in the US, not chiropractors or other health professionals, about your health challenges.
       They did not want me to mention my cancer,  even though I have had melanoma for 15 years, because my cancer was not stage 3 or stage 4 which would indicate one being close to  terminal.
       The web is helpful to learn about Dignitas and their process, but they require original hard-copies of all documents. They will not proceed at any step until they have the originals.
       They are very clear about the information they want submitted. Due to them needing more information on why I am making this choice, it took me submitting and resubmitting three times. Dignitas required signed and certified originals, which I sent by USPS for less the $5 each, and would follow-up by email. I got no evidence that they looked at the electronic version I sent each time.
       They far prefer that when you go to Switzerland you are accompanied by family or friends. (and some airlines offer round trips that are cheaper than one way).
       The complete Dignitas procedure costs money: 300 euros initial fee (about $340), then 3,000 euros ($3,500) for two doctors in Switzerland, and about $11,000 total, not including airfare. They recommended that I pay through TransferWise.  TransferWise requires a physical street address, not a PO Box. Dignitas did provide a street address with about a 10 day delay. If I do not complete the process with them, I get a refund of all but my annual membership in Dignitas, $300, and about $2,000 for their handling the administrative process of accepting my application
       The result is clear control, responsibility and legality of a defined process for your death, which seems only possible if an organization like Dignitas takes responsibility. They assert that Switzerland is the only country where foreigners are allowed to be helped to end their life.

It is unclear to me how long their process takes if everything goes smoothly for completion, but in my case I began in January 2018, and I got my final paperwork accepted in the middle of February 2019. I got delayed because;
they added the requirement that one of my Doctor’s letters needed to be from a psychologist,
and I had to go through extra steps to get my birth certificate to match the name I changed to in the 1970's.

Also after my third round of signed letters from doctors were not accepted, I realized I needed to have them review the letters prior to getting them signed. First they had wanted more details about my medical prognosis and then they wanted briefer letters. They required that I focus on objective physical limitations, not fears of my future deterioration. Then the letters were older then 4 months so I had to get current letters. I recommend that anyone going through their process have them review the letters prior to going to get one's doctor to sign it and put it on his letter head. My last round of 2 MD letters involved me sending them draft letters, getting their feedback on how to change the letters to meet their standard, and then talking with them on the phone to get permission to not include some of the language about assisted suicide they recommended. So on round 4, I was able to get them two current MD letters, one from a psychologist, that met their standards. My other communication with them was by email and USPS air mail.

21% of the people they service have this, not terminal illnesses as their reason for ending their life.
I plan to “exit early by choice,” earlier than when my body wears out more, because of not wanting to live/suffer through much more of being older/old. I choose to be in charge till the end of my life now that “enough is enough.” My feeling is that my life is complete as reflected by my conclusion that “My life has been a good run.” I am unusual because I have chosen to take responsibility for the timing of my death.

The following is my list of 6 reasons for exiting early by choice:
 5%    1.)  Exchanging meals, food, and socializing with my peers is evaporating.
27%    2.)  To leave $ for people and causes I want to support. 50% people, 50% causes.
21%    3.)  To stop having to limit what I do, due to environmental sensitivities.
27%    4.)   Enough already of dealing with the limitations of a disabled body, exacerbated by the aging process.
15 %   5.) An increasing % of what I want to do electronically and on the web, is a burden or impossible.
 5%    6.)   I might run out of money.
100%

1.)  As a solo ager, with no partner or dependents, my stopping to live will be a loss, but not create a major problem for anyone.
2.)  The main source of my money is having sold the house I lived in. I had saved a little money in an IRA while working as a house remodeler, and I had inherited ½ a million $ from my parents 20 years ago, which we thought would be enough for me to live on for the rest of my life. But before I sold the house I was becoming house rich and cash poor.
3. & 4.)  I know what it takes to live elegantly with a disability, but how I spend my time has tipped downward, in terms of even being able to care for myself, much less contribute to this wonderful world.
5.) The newer methods of communicating are increasingly beyond my capacity.
6.) I feel good when I can contribute money despite having less and less time to support what I believe in. Acting now accomplishes this. Delaying does the opposite.

I am putting some time and energy into documenting my end of life, as well as the earlier phases of my life when I was at the cutting edge of a series of cultural and political shifts. I plan to get this up on www.forevermissed.com refer to it on FaceBook and have a video made about it.

Twenty one percent of the people that Dignitas provides end of live services for are categorized as “Weary of life.” This is what I wrote as my own version of being “weary of life”. “My life is not working for me. I have put a lot of effort into making my life work, but the results are no longer enough to persuade me to go on. I just do not have it in me to keep retrying old strategies or trying additional new strategies. I am clear that my choice is to end my life at this time.“
I will check, but I believe that if this is one’s reason for getting their help then they require that one of your MD letters be from a Psychiatrist.

Recent stories
Shared by Deet Lewis on March 22, 2020
I first met Ruthy (long long before she was Spring) when she was 9 a nd I was 15.  Her parents .... Ben andEva brought her to the moadon (meeting place) where our youth group welcomed children starting at age 10.  But her parents said she was tall and very smart for her age.    That was true!  And we continued to know one another for the next few years within that group (HaShomer HaTZair).   And it was so nice to keep in touch over tthe years when we both were adults, and the age difference didn´t matter at all.
MAny years later, I moved to Esalen Institute, and it was easy for me to get to Berkeley and stay at that wonderful communal household.  
Since then, I´ve lived in Antigua Guatemala, and didn´t hear from her from until the note telling me of her plans to  go to Switzerland to end her life.   A difficult and noble decision!

I will ALWAYS remember her, lovingly!