My dad was the best man I’ve ever known. I will always admire his honesty, bravery, faith, strength, and tenacity. But I think the trait that defines Srinivas, was his love. He loved Ananya, Amma, and me more than he cared about himself. He left everything he had behind so that he could go to India to take care of his elderly parents. He cared deeply, so deeply about the people around him. When he was young, he used to invite kids from school he knew may not have had much means to his home to share meals. My dad spoke to everyone, no matter how little he knew them. He genuinely wanted to get to know them and ask how they were doing. He was so personable and social that he made good friends everywhere he went. If I turn a hundred years old, I probably will not have made half the good friends that my dad did in his lifetime. My dad’s love and care extended to all living things. He’d never even harm a spider that came into our house - he would painstakingly catch it and try to release it outside. He always went out to water the plants in my mom’s garden, no matter how hot it was outside, because he was concerned how thirsty they might be.
Thinking and reflecting on his death has led me to a realization. The fundamental nature of life is loss. Everything that we have in life, we will lose. There is no possession, no relationship, that is immune to time. Everything will be altered, transformed, and destroyed eventually. We grieve because we believe that we have things. We believe that we own things, and have relationships, and grow so attached to objects and to people that the thought of losing them becomes unbearable. The more tightly we attach ourselves to these temporary aspects of life, the more we will suffer when they inevitably disappear.
Does this mean we should go through life fearing love? That we need to go through life by loving nothing? Of course not . Like I said before, my dad loved all things. He loved his parents, his children, his wife, his friends, and any living thing that he saw. But what drove this love was his complete love for God. My dad saw God in every person, plant, and animal. When he looked at me, he didn’t just see his son Anirudh. He saw the eternal, blissful, loving God that resides within me. He saw the same God when he looked at his wife, his daughter, his parents, his friends, and even the tiny ant that bit him. And he saw the same God when he looked within himself. My dad loved everyone because he saw the God that resided within them. The God that resides within us all is love. It’s peace. It is a limitless source of happiness and bliss that can never be taken away from us. Because it is who we truly are.
Srinivas Koka passed away on June 8th 2019. But that day only marks the passing of his body, mind, and intellect. We should not grieve for these things, because they are temporary, and were always meant to pass. His true identity is the eternal God that resides within him, and resides within us all. There is no difference between his soul, or my soul, any of your souls, or God, because we are all God. There was never a time when he did not exist, nor will there be a time that he does not exist. When I look within myself, and search for the infinite source of peace and love that is the God that resides within me, I will find him there.
The best way that we can honor my dad is to live life like he did. To realize that the true nature of God is love. To love people just as you would love God. To care for others so deeply because you see the God within them. I think that would make my Dad really happy.