I miss you! So much has changed in 8 years. Matthew has a baby and she looks a lot like him, her name is Violetta(we call her V). Mallory has had 2 more children, both girls. Brooklyn and Ava. Megan is still Megan and Madison is going to have a boy this month. Stan and I are both in real estate and he has a place of his own now. Can you believe that?? The biggest news is mom got married in December to a guy named Randy. He is good to her and treats her with respect. I am happy for her, to finally find happiness after you. Today and always I miss you and can’t wait to see you again one day. You are never far from my thoughts and always in my heart ❤️ I love you daddy❤️❤️

Today is the day my world collapsed! I never knew what real pain was until the day you left us! You were an awesome dad, PaPa, friend and husband. You always knew how to make everyone laugh with your jokes and always knew how to push buttons(lol)! You had your ways but that’s ok with me, I still love you anyway. I hope you would be proud of me and how I’m living my life now. So much has changed since the day you left and oh how I wish you were here to see but I know what you’re seeing is far more beautiful than anything here on this earth. Mom is engaged and she’s really happy. I’m happy for her but a part of me is angry because I want it to be you still here with her! Stan is doing good, he has a girlfriend(finally). Candace has a new baby boy. He’s adorable. The girls well daddy, they are in bad shape. I don’t speak to them and I’m ok with that. They need help and there is nothing I can do. Matthew is awesome!! He’s going to be a daddy but hasn’t lost focus of what he wants in life. You would be so proud of the man he is becoming!  I miss you terribly and I love you! I will forever and always be your baby girl.

I didn't write a post on your birthday but I did eat at Parkers for you with mama and even Stan went. I know you were laughing and saying "meals on wheels"! Michael was there also and I know you're happy for me and him. I know the angels sung to you and your birthday was far more beautiful than it would of been here. One day soon I will be there with you and you can tell me all the korny jokes you use to tell. I can't wait to see you and hear your voice. Mama is doing good, I just wish she would slow down and stop worrying. The kids well lets just say you would be disappointed and in jail if you were here. I speak your name often and tell things about you. I hope you are watching over me and you are happy for me. I love you daddy and I will always be your baby girl!!!

Today 4 years ago you were at Wake Med and little did I know it would be the day I would hear you say your last words, see your smile for the last time and crack your last joke. I never thought I would be watching you slowly die, your were too strong for that! I stayed in your room with you for most of the night until we had to leave. The next few days I know you knew I was there because your heart rate would go up and the nurse would only let me go in to see you periodically but I never left that hospital. I know you wanted to tell me something, well that's what they told me anyway and I can only imagine what it was...take care of your mom, I love you, make them girls behave, the list goes on. There were so many things I wanted to say to you and now I wish I had of but my mind and heart wouldn't let me think anything other than "this is a setback" and he will be home soon! I saw you lay there with that metal rod in your forehead, those pipes in your mouth, your eyes shut and sometimes half way opened. Those visions I will never be able to unsee and the heartache I will never be able to unfeel. You were and still are my hero and I was and still am your baby girl. I love and miss you!!!

Happy birthday in Heaven daddy. I know you have had a celebration like no other here on earth. I have thought about you all day and missed you like crazy. I didn't get to go eat at Parker's in your honor as I have done every year since you've been gone but know you were in my thoughts. Mom had to work today,she's been working a lot and it's still hard without you being there by her side. Daddy, I miss you and I wish you were here to help us right now deal with all this chaos that is going on. I need you,you were my rock and I knew you would back me and would put your foot down with the girls. Megan needs you daddy so please send her a sign that you are near and ask God to get her clean. She has given you a little great granddaughter. Her name is Riley and she is beautiful. Matthew has been accepted to early college, I know you would be so proud of him. He is wonderful child. I am back with Michael, aka. Mikey. He asked me the other day if I thought you would approve. I told him all you wanted was for your baby girl to be happy and daddy I am finally truly happy. He makes my heart smile and has put that sparkle back in my eyes. He is just amazing to me and daddy he has changed! Megan and Madison are good and Stan would make you proud. He is doing great and is helping mom out a lot. Happy birthday daddy and I can't wait to see you again one day. I miss you and I love you....your baby girl!!!

There are times that the simplest things bring you to mind, a smell, a picture, a bird or a beam of sunlight from heaven. Usually I smile and my heart is filled with happiness for a moment but there are other times that I want to shut the world off and sleep only because there are no thoughts or reminders of you. As father's day approaches I feel myself seeping back into that sad state I was in the day you left us. When in a store and see the fathers day cards I immediately turn away but the first thought is...my daddy is dead! I wish you were here old man. I took so many things for granted and only to have you back for just one more day I would tell you just how much I appreciate and love you.....love you always daddy....your baby girl

I have you on my mind and wanted to write for a minute. Daddy, you were my hero and someone I looked up to. You were always there for me and you never turned your back on me even if you didn't agree with my choices. I wish you were here to help me right now and make things seem less difficult. Watch over me, Madison, Mallory, Matthew, Megan, Aiden, Colton and mom from above. Love you and miss you !!

Sitting here with you on my mind and wishing I had you to talk to, I know you would help me to make all this make sense.

You weren't here for your birthday but we celebrated by going out to eat in your honor. We cried off and on all day and we were sad, we missed you so. I went and talked to you. I use to think it was weird but now that I've been put in this position, its actually comforting. I miss you daddy and I know your birthday in heaven was better than any birthday here on earth!