Up early from a restless night ... I need this to be a bad dream but I know it's not.. it's all so unreal to me. All I have to go by is what they're telling me because I haven't seen you. Even though I'm feeling an emptiness, heart broken, depressed, lost, lonely and everything else. I know you are in a better place and resting. I wish I knew I was only going to have you for 22 years!!!! We would've did so much more.... If I knew you were on your way home we could of spent your last days together... FBA... If I knew I wasn't going to talk to you or hear your voice again... I would've gotten in touch with you one last time just to talk... If I knew I would of made all your favorite foods so you wouldn't be hungry on your way home. But unfortunately son I didn't know. I wasn't prepared for your departure... It's way too soon!!! Baby boy this is so hard for me... I can't stop thinking about you, hearing your voice in my head and seeing a visual of your face... I wish you could've told me goodbye and that you'll be alright. How do I go on without you when a part of me is gone?? You are missed by so many people. I had no idea that you had such an impact on so many people lives. Who would of thought. I told you in our last conversation to be careful out there and you said "I am" ...But now you're gone... I'll never be the same again because you left me.   

                     From a mother's broken heart 

                Forever in my heart son, I love you