I am Kevin Michael Omowale Welsh, the son of Peter Fesobi DaSilva, and I am leaving a tribute to my cousin, Chief Stella Olushola Alex-Duduyemi, who is recently departed, and who is a niece of my long departed father.
I am a 'long lost' DaSilva about whom nobody in Nigeria had heard until recently. This was due to my Catholic Yoruba father and Catholic Irish mother having a brief and secret affair which resulted in my birth in a Catholic convent in 1954.
The Roman Catholic Church in England and Ireland were appalled and outraged that a mixed race child resulted from an illicit mixed race relationship because, in the 1950s England, many Catholics believed that black Africans were sub-human, stupid, savages, no better than monkeys swinging through the jungle trees, fighting and eating people, and fit for nothing better than slavery and toil.
Therefore, I was confined to Catholic institutions for the whole of my childhood; out of the public gaze of society, so that I could be indoctrinated into the 'civilised ways' of the white people. And thus I grew up without knowing anything about my Nigerian family.
A few years ago, I made a huge effort to find my roots and I registered with AncestryDNA. I found a few 3rd and 4th cousins, but none with the name DaSilva. However, a few weeks ago, I was matched with Henrietta Bode DaSilva; Identified as a 2nd cousin. She contacted her cousin, Helen Lanre DaSilva, and, through her mother, she found a match with my father and Stella Shola, from a family tree created by Shola's daughter, Funmi. Indeed, Bode, Lanre and Funmi are daughters of three of my first cousins
It was absolutely wonderful for me, especially when I was sent an image of my cousin Shola. I was utterly blown away on seeing her picture. I have never in my life seen a picture of such regal grace and noble dignity, serenity and sophisticated style.
I think I am still dreaming. How lucky can anyone be to have Shola for a cousin?
Yet, there was something else I was to find out about my noble cousin. I told Bode and Lanre that
I regretted not having been given a Yoruba name, because i had wanted a one for a long time, having been denied one at birth. I had thought of using my father's name of Fesobi; which was just as well I didn't. I understand now that his name means 'Born with ease', which didn't seem appropriate to me, with my birth being six weeks premature and with the frail me being baptised the day after because I was expected to die within a few days.
A few days later, Funmi organised a Zoom meeting for me and my wife to be introduced to, and welcomed by the family. It was so joyful and rewarding for us to meet Shola across the airwaves, even if we could not meet face-to-face at that time.
Towards the end of the meeting my wife and I were surprised and delighted... No, we were totally shocked and exceedingly delighted when we were all informed that the great family matriarch, Shola, had endowed us with Yoruba names... mine being Omowale and my wife being Omoshalewa. We are so proud and honoured for what Shola did for us and for the compassion she showed towards us. She had kept that back until all the family could witness it on Zoom. Wow! What a woman! I suspect that she had a special sense of warming, welcoming, intellectual wit and fun, with, may I dare to say, a good degree of teasing mischief. Oh how I would have longed to have been with her much earlier in my life.
I cannot express adaquately enough in words my gratitude for what Shola has done for me. It is easier for me to count all the drops of water in all the oceans of the world than it is for me to express my gratitude to her. Within a few short weeks from first getting to meet her, she has made an enormous impact on my life and she has stamped an indelible mark on my soul... so much so, that my life is made complete and I want for nothing more.
Shola and I had looked forward to being able to meet in person when the pandemic had run it's course, but sadly we will have to wait a while longer now, until our spirits embrace in the Kingdom of Heaven.
I have prayed, and will continue to pray for her soul, and for her family, so that God will grace them with his blessing, his succour and his comfort, so that he will assuage them of their great loss and immense grief.
I offer Chief Kunle Alex-Duduyemi and his family my sincerest gratitude for granting me the highest honour to make my tribute to Shola at her Wake on 23rd March 2021, which I did so unreservedly.
Finally, I offer my prayer for Shola, my dear departed cousin.
SLEEP NOW NOBLE COUSIN
Sleep now noble cousin,
There is no need for tears.
Your mortal life is over,
Your new life holds no fears.
Angels come to bear you...
To take your soul away.
Sleep now noble cousin
In paradise today.
Sleep now noble cousin,
Take your well-earned rest.
You have lived a good life,
Dwell now with the best.
A bright new dawn awaits you
Within God's Divine light...
Sleep now noble cousin,
Farewell and... goodnight.
❤️
Your Wale