ForeverMissed
Large image
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Stephen Frederick, 71 years old, born on April 22, 1942, and passed away on May 28, 2013. We will remember him forever.
May 28, 2022
May 28, 2022
I miss you Dad.
Thank you for the beautiful times.
Thank you for always taking time to listen.
Thank you for teaching me.
Thank you for loving me.
❤️
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021
It seems only yesterday since we studied together at Western Theological Seminary and Princeton Theological Seminary. You dazzled me with your proficiency in ancient Greek and your brilliant mind. Everyday I continue to benefit from our friendship and miss you. 
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021
Steve, every time I watch one of the 4 major golf tournaments like last weeks PGA, i miss the two of us talking on the phone about the event. I know you liked Phil! I still miss you, my best friend!
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019
Steve, hard to believe it has been 6 years. I miss you. Played golf last week on a course we played in NC. Fond memories my friend. You were my best friend ever!  Mark Scanlan
April 23, 2019
April 23, 2019
Steve and I met a few weeks into the semester at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan. We immediately bonded realizing that our choice of Western was a big mistake. We made the most of it, however, before transferring to Princeton Theological Seminary the following year. Since our classes were far from challenging, he and I engaged in independent study, learning from each other--what an incredibly valuable experience that was. We also became quite proficient in bridge! I will always miss him.
May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015
I search for photos of you tonight. I am looking for you flying Adi around my apartment. It was right after Grant was born. You and Lucie came. We spent time on the beach, dinner out. You and Lucie took Adi for little adventures, you helped me fold laundry. So many little things that meant so much. I have these memories like photos but I can't find the real pictures... I miss you. When you would visit you would love on my dogs. I miss them too. My inbox had reminders to send you a card on your birthday, I didn't know what to say. Now I have reminders to send Lucie a card. I have all these cards on my desk and I can't seem to send them.

I love reading the notes from friends and family written to you. Others who have a space they hold for you.

I hold space.

I can hear you laugh. I hear your voice reminding me of things. I feel the space you always had for me. Always time to hear the many things I had to say or wanted to share or needed to understand. You took time to explain. Thank you Dad.

I hold space. And I miss you.

You are my dad and I am learning about holding on and letting go and dying and living and I miss my conversations with you about all of these things.

I love you Dad. I hold your space.
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015
Steve,

Thought of you this morning upon waking up. It is hard to believe that it has been 2 years since you left us. Rose and I miss talking, laughing and sharing a good meal with you when you visited our home. Your cat Taka is doing well in our home. I will always cherish the friendship we shared and think of you often.
April 23, 2015
April 23, 2015
Hi Steve,
    Thought of you all day. Happy Birthday!
    Miss calling you. Know I love you,
                       goodnight,your little sis, jan xxoo's
April 22, 2015
April 22, 2015
Happy Birthday Steve! Thinking of you and Lucie!

Mark and Rose Scanlan
June 3, 2014
June 3, 2014
I cannot believe that it has been a whole year since my best friend passed away. I think of you often. Playing golf without you has been really tough. Just last weekend I played a course- Lonnie Poole-NC State Universities for the 1st time. What a wonderful course. I thought of you all day. You would have loved it!!!
April 23, 2014
April 23, 2014
Happy Birthday Daddy!!!
I miss you.
All day I have wanted to call you, to have my family sing "happy birthday" to you through the phone and to hear about your day and tell you how much I love you. I want to know what delicious meal you are choosing and make sure that you've had many, many laughs.
I want to pass the phone to my son, Grant, and hear him say, "hi Gwampah Steve." I want Adi, my sweet and curious girl, to tell you about her piano lessons and ask you about when you took lessons and what they were like.
I am recalling your laughter and cherishing the sound.
It is now after 9 pm in CA and it would have been too late to call you in FL.... so, I write to you my heart. Many hugs. XO
April 8, 2014
April 8, 2014
Tribute from Jim Muyskens

Ever since I learned of Steve's passing from Aimee, I have been stunned and haven't known how I could begin to say what my friendship with Steve has meant to me over the years. He and I became best of friends at Western Theological Seminary. We discovered that we were kindred spirits and had landed in a place that was not a good fit for us. We transferred to Princeton Theological Seminary. During our years there, each of us taught the other more than any professor did. To this day, I can still say that Steve was the smartest person I have known. We both had planned to get together in retirement and continue the high level and compelling dialogues that set us on our way as young men in our twenties. What a loss that this cannot be. Yet the fond memories of our friendship temper my profound sadness and allow me to be grateful for and to celebrate the life that Steve lived and shared with so many.
March 12, 2014
March 12, 2014
"From Steve’s sister Jan,                                                

I want to share with you something Aimee read, from our Aunt Fran, at my Mom’s Memorial:                                          

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads his white sails in the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. He is an object of strength and beauty. I stand and watch until at last he hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky meet. Then someone at my side says, ”There he goes." “Gone where?”

He is gone from my sight that’s all. He is just as large in mast and hull and spar as he was when he left my side and just as able to bear his load of living freight to the place of destination. His diminished size is in me, not in him
                                                                 
And just at that moment when someone says, “There he goes.” There are other eyes watching him coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here he comes!”

This parable of Immortality by Henry Van Dyke comforts me, because I can just see Mom and Dad waiting there to greet Steve ashore. 

To all my family, I love you forever. 
Jan   xxoo’s"
March 6, 2014
March 6, 2014
Knowing Steve is a true gift to my life. I have never known a person so varied in experiences and balanced in this world. He looked in places I would never think of to find new learnings and enjoyments that always seemed to add to his enlightenment. Just being around him pulled me into his unique view of life and for that I am forever grateful. Dining, sailing, golfing, baseball games, touring in Fenwick, Grand Cayman, Singapore, Malaysia - just visiting in each others' houses, I will always remember Steve telling compelling stories and eager to listen to my reactions and new stories. Take care, good buddy; I miss you.
February 26, 2014
February 26, 2014
Perhaps I knew Steve longer than anyone still alive except my older sister Janet, who also knew him from birth. I was born a year before Steve and his Dad was the brother of my Mother. Therefore, he was my first cousin. In reality, I knew him since he was born, but don't really have any remembrance until about age 6. We spent a lot of time each year in Port Jervis where my grandparents were and several uncles and aunts. As we grew up, I was always the one in trouble. Somehow, Steve managed to be the perfect boy, as my mother constantly reminded me. I didn't mind, since I knew Steve was not as perfect as my mother thought he was. All during our teen years, we stayed pretty close as our families gathered in Port Jervis quite a bit and also spent some summer weeks at the shore in Ocean City, N.J. Later, my wife and I traveled to Port Jervis quite a bit as well. Then I got all caught up in a career, as Steve did also, as well as raising our own children. We also lived great distances apart. Therefore, for a number of years, we had little interaction outside of the annual Christmas card, as well as at weddings and funerals. When Steve and Lucie moved to The Villages in Florida, we were able to reconnect since we moved to nearby Tampa many years prior. After that, we were able to see them 3 or 4 times a year. We were able to play some golf, but generally spent the time having a beer or two and reminiscing over our younger days in Port Jervis. When Steve told us he thought he had lung cancer early in 2013, it was devestating news. However, he attacked it in good spirits with a great attitude. It was early in April that we last shared a meal with them in the Villages. His appetite was great and you woudn't know anything was wrong with him. Unfortunately, not many weeks later, when we got home from a cruise, we learned he was in the hospital and then a nursing home when I got to visit him again. Shortly thereafter, things moved fast and he was in the Hospice home for only a short time. My wife and I will miss him and Lucie. We will always remember the wonderful times we had with them both. A BIG piece of my past died with him and I will cherish the times we had together for as long as I am aive.
February 25, 2014
February 25, 2014
The best friend I have ever had, or will have. 30 years of laughter, support, and mutual sharing of the things we both shared a passion for. My wife Rose and I miss his kindness and inspiration that he demonstrated- to live life to the fullest! I miss my golfing friend more than words can express. Steve, we are taking good care of Taka your cat.

Leave a Tribute

Light a Candle
Lay a Flower
Leave a Note
 
Recent Tributes
May 28, 2022
May 28, 2022
I miss you Dad.
Thank you for the beautiful times.
Thank you for always taking time to listen.
Thank you for teaching me.
Thank you for loving me.
❤️
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021
It seems only yesterday since we studied together at Western Theological Seminary and Princeton Theological Seminary. You dazzled me with your proficiency in ancient Greek and your brilliant mind. Everyday I continue to benefit from our friendship and miss you. 
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021
Steve, every time I watch one of the 4 major golf tournaments like last weeks PGA, i miss the two of us talking on the phone about the event. I know you liked Phil! I still miss you, my best friend!
Recent stories

Stock car racing

February 28, 2014

Steve and I went to the stock car races in Middletown as often as possible.  I loved stock car racing and still do to this day.  It is also where I learned to love sausage and pepper sandwiches.  But I digress.  This particular night when we were both teenagers, I dropped Steve off at his house about 11 P.M. and asked him to quietly go in the house and not wake anybody.  I then proceeded to a local bar to have a few beers and a pizza.  I know, I know, I was not old enough to drink,  but that didn't seem to deter me in Port Jervis as I was a big guy.  Unbeknownst to me, my mother had called Steve's house to see if he was home yet.  Of course, his mother said Yes that he was asleep in bed and home since 11.  When I arrived home about 1 a.m., I tried to sneak up the creaky old stairs of my grandmother's house with little success.  Guess who was waiting for me at the top of the stairs ?  You guessed it.  My mother wanted to know where I had been and why I couldn't be a good boy like my cousin Steve ?  As I said in my tribute, Steve was always known as the "perfect" boy and I was the troublemaker !   I never let my mother know the truth !!   Rest in peace cousin, your secrets are safe with me and I will miss you.  

Remembrances of Cabin ventures

February 26, 2014

As I mentioned in my tribute, Steve and I spent a lot of time together while growing up.  Several stories stand out in my memory.  His Dad and his Dad's brother owned a small cabin located in the mountains near Port Jervis.  Steve and I liked to rough it by going there overnight.  Of course, we always managed to bring along a six pack or two of beer which I was able to get at Paul's market around the corner since I looked bigger and older.  We would go there summer or winter.  This one winter night we picked up our beer and headed to the cabin to spend the night.  Unfortunately, we could not get the fire to stay lit in the fireplace and the cabin was very draftly.  The winds howled and the snow blew, but we were tough guys and were not going to wimp out and head home admitting defeat.  Somehow, we managed to get through the night ( perhaps the beer fortified us ) despite being frozen.  Also, did I mention, that cold beer really doesn't taste so good when you are frozen !! 


On another occasion, again at the cabin, it was summer and we were shooting our 22's at targets we had set up.   I was smoking cigarettes, which I had done since I was 8 and got quite dizzy as I was shooting.  Therefore, I was not hitting very many targets.  As we pulled out of the camp later that day, I took a brand new pack of cigarettes which I had just opened, and threw them out of the car window into the woods.  Steve was a little irked at me, since he wanted them for himself, but I just decided on the spur of the moment to give them up for good.  Fortunately, I have never touched them since that summer day when I was 16.  Steve and I talked about that day many times over the years.   

Golf Story

February 25, 2014

Steve and I shared a passion for golfing. Neither one of us were "great golfers", but we had our good days and celebrated our sometimes spectacular shots together. There were many of them. We always tried to play like gentlemen-well most of the time! One time about 25 years ago we were playing a course in the Baltimore Md. area. I had just moved there due to a job transfer and promotion. Steve drove down from Delaware to spend the weekend, and I got us a tee-time at a signature course that I believe is hard to get on even to this day-Pinewood. We got paired up with 2 guys that were to put it bluntly-buffons! They walked across you, when you were preparing to hit your shot. They looked for lost shots in the woods for what seemed like an eternity, rather than take a penalty stroke. For some strange reason, they congratulated us both on shots that we hit that were by no means spectacular, but never said a word if we hit a truly good shot. Our foursome was now holding up play on the whole course. At one point after they both hit balls in the water on one hole, they proceeded to pull out telescoping 20 foot long ball retrievers. After finding their balls in the water, they continued to prospect for the next 10 minutes and pulled out another 30 or so golf balls from the drink. All of this while 2-3 groups behind us were waiting to play a round in hopefully under 6 hours!!! The one guy told Steve that he was a plumber and this was his day-off. I was getting upset with these guys, and in a way Steve reminded me that they were not bad guys, and not to say anything to them. Needless to say we got through it and shook hands just before dark with these characters. Steve nicknamed the lead guy-"Jerry the Plummer". From that day forward whenever Steve and I were a 2 some and had to be paired up with 2 strangers, one of us would always say-"I hope we are not playing with 2 Jerry the Plummers". I miss my friend Steve and think of him every day. When I play golf now, I always find myself talking to him as if he were there, in a way he always will be!

Invite others to Stephen's website:

Invite by email

Post to your timeline