ForeverMissed
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His Life

It's a Boy! of course...

September 15, 2013

I can remember the day Stephen was "due" into this world. He was a scheduled C-Section since my previous two deliveries were over 10 pounders and unplanned C-sections.  The British doctor was not taking any chances. He scheduled the delivery two weeks before Stephen's due date hoping he would not be quite so BIG. I checked into the Private Hospital in Guildford, England and proceeded to nervously wait out the events to unfold. I made a stupid joke with the Anesthesiologist that was placing my epidural that 'a new British Brat would be born soon'. He failed to see the humor in my poor attempt to lighten the stress I was feeling. This hospital was older than old school. Everything was white tile and nuns ran the place. No air conditioning and the beds were manually adjusted. I wished I had come to check it out sooner but it was a "private" hospital and my only other option was the National Health hospital down the road.

Before the C-Section Michael was getting his camera ready when the Dr. asked "what are you going to do with that?" The question was so obvious that it didn't deserve an answer but he politely answered that "I plan to photograph the birth just like I've done the previous two." During the C-Sec Michael noticed I was squeezing his hand really hard. He said, "are you okay?" and I said, "well it kind a hurts!" (he says I came "off the table"). The OB Doctor jumped back about a foot and the anesthesiologist went quickly to work on upping my medication in the epidural. I was wondering if my "poor joke" was the reason my epidural wasn't working but decided to instead focus on our new baby soon to be born.

After a local injection and the "all clear" of no more pain, the Dr. proceeded with the C-Sec. After much tugging and pulling our little baby was out and the Dr. announced it's a boy and he's huge (which totally surprised him). Michael and I looked at each other and said "of course!"  Stephen ended up weighing in at 9 lbs 14 oz and was beautiful. The nuns all couldn't believe his size and I was just thankful he wasn't 12 lbs like my dad was.

I had to stay in the hospital 10-days with Stephen because I had significant tearing and developed an infection that they worried would get septic. I treasured those 10-days alone with him before going home to his two big brothers to take care of also. He was such an easy baby and loved when I sang to him. He was also an early smiler and never stopped smiling. He had a smile on his face most of the time as a toddler and young boy. Miss you baby.  

Remembering Stephen (from his church Memorial service)

September 7, 2013

Remembering Stephen

by Dr. Orin Smith - Klein United Methodist Church      

Spring, Texas, Wednesday, September 4, 2013

 

Friends, Stephen has brought us together today.  From work and play we come together to celebrate the good we have found in him. Surely we would give almost anything to hear his voice, to see his smile, to touch him, but that’s not going to happen. Death always comes as an intruder, and takes away those whom we love the most.

Kevin, you said it so beautifully and briefly in your post on Facebook:
“The world lost a beautiful soul yesterday. Stephen Griffith, I love you more than words can describe. You were an amazing brother and it hurts so bad to let you go. I will never forget your kind and loving heart. Rest in peace.”

There is no way to soothe the pain of saying “Goodbye.” 

Anne Lamott, a fine writer, put it this way:   “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

I have known Stephen since he was about eight years old.  I have seen him grow, been aware of him struggling, known of him making mistakes, I have also been charmed by his smile and I have been made aware of his compassion, his ability put his own interest aside for the sake of another.

Some of us have reflected on that over the past few days.  We have thought about his keen mind, the way he could focus intensely on something that he was interested in.  He might spend hours tinkering with something like a, like a guitar chord, a note until it felt just right. Once, when one of his brothers was having trouble with a math problem, Stephen looked at it for a few minutes, and then the answer came to him.  That keen mind was at work.

Some of us have said to ourselves and to each other, Stephen had such potential. Why couldn’t we have had him for many more years.  When we lose someone so young, we sense that it’s just not right.

A friend of mine some years ago experienced this first hand.  His son, 21 years old; a quick collision and his son was gone.  My broken-hearted friend said some time later:  “It was too soon for Bob to die. And then I began to think, Maybe God’s timetable is not the same as ours.  The most beautiful flowers last but a season, Even God’s son Jesus was with us for a little over 30 years. .I guess some lives are fulfilled in a shorter time than others.” 

Stephen’s brothers have shared some thought with me.  I offer them to you.

From Kevin:

“Stephen was a great younger brother.  I felt like he looked up to me throughout most of his life.  As a boy I took advantage of that by talking him into performing ridiculous stunts.  That might be the reason why my mom chose to pursue a nursing degree.  As we grew older, though, I really came to appreciate him for the good person he was.  I included him in activities with my friends and he fit right in.  He got along with everyone.  I loved to see him when he was happy.  He lived in the moment and made the most of the good times.  

Being in a family with four boys promotes a competitive atmosphere.  I typically had an advantage over my brothers because I was older, but it didn't take long to discover just how talented Stephen was.  We shared a lot of the same passions: art, gymnastics, soccer, music, video games, and motorcycles.  I think the only one I had him beat in was soccer, but I believe he could have surpassed me in that if he really wanted to.  I'm sure most people that met him saw that raw talent as well.  He was physically and mentally gifted.  He was truly special.

I miss Stephen dearly.  He was always up for a good time when I visited.  He knew that our time together was limited and I could always tell that he treasured the moments we shared.  In May, I traveled to Houston for the first time in over a year.  I took Stephen and my father to the brewery where I previously worked.  We spent half the day there and had an amazing time.  It didn't matter what else was going on in our lives, we just embraced the moment and enjoyed each other's company - so thankful to have the loving, caring family that we have.  We were two happy sons and a happy father that day, and nothing else.  It is a memory that I will never forget.

When I think of Stephen, I think of a beautiful soul.  Pure and innocent. Compassionate and caring.  He was one of the good guys. Love, Kevin”

 

From Alex:

“I had the unfortunate position of riding directly behind Stephen at his first major motorcycle accident in 2007. He misjudged his speed approaching a sharp corner, and I could do nothing but watch it happen. After he and the bike had come to rest, it didn't even occur to me that he could be severely hurt. He can't be hurt. It was just some major but fixable damage to his bike. That's all it could be. After pushing the bike off the road I then shamefully noticed Stephen wasn't moving. Much later, at the hospital, after some minor patching and a brief surgery to remove a small pebble from his taint (we loved that word), he started smiling and chuckled childishly. He then confidently said, "Guys, I had my first period."

That was Stephen. Just pure innocence and silly humor. He didn't want life to be more complicated than that. More importantly, he didn't want to inconvenience or disappoint anyone. He tried to help in his own way. Back in 2007, while lying on that empty road, he was obviously in a lot of pain. Covered in blood, he couldn't move. I moved him to safety off the empty road and managed to get his helmet off, all the while he repeated, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I began to realize the tears he had weren't from pain but from another place. Through my own adrenaline-filled tears I told him to shut up, but he wouldn't stop. He just kept repeating, "I'm so sorry."  

Stephen didn't worry about himself or anything material. He just wanted everyone else to be happy.”

 

From Daniel:

“My brother Stephen was truly a gift to this world. It was impossible to be next to Stephen without having a smile on your face. He had the biggest most caring heart you could imagine. If he could help someone even in the least amount, he would make sure he helped them. For many years throughout our lives, there were so many situations where we realized that all we have is each other. And that bond for the past ten years has grown so much. Stephen wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend who came everywhere I went and had me next to him wherever he went. Just last Thursday(27th), Stephen and I were so excited to be able to hang out for an hour before we went to bed, because we both have been so busy with our lives that we really thought about each other and missed each other daily. So Thursday really meant a lot to have his beautiful smile next to me. The legacy that he leaves behind will never be forgotten. I can feel his soul following our family and his daughter Savannah. Although it breaks me down to not have him physically with me; He is never without me.”
 

Just the other day, on Sunday morning, Miss Savannah Griffith, age three, was in her place at our church in a class with other 3-year-olds.  Michael, her grandfather, was walking out the church door with her when class was over.  As they stepped outside, Savannah looked at the sunlit sky, the gorgeous flowers on either side, and asked.  “Pawpaw, is today Easter?”

Maybe you know that when we gather in churches on Sundays, we regard every Sunday as a little Easter.  We gather to celebrate the coming into the world another young man.  He did his best to teach us that the whole world is alive and alight with the presence of God.  His Word often comes to us through the wisdom of a beautiful young child. 

Romans 6:9.  Paul, the mighty one, tells us “We know that Christ being raised from the dead,  will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.”

Or, as another has said, “Jesus, the Christ of God came to show us that death is not the end of the road, but a bend in the road.”  (Ernest Campbell)

“Pawpaw, is today Easter?”  It most certainly was, is for Stephen…… Griffith

Do you hear that?  It deserves to be heard.  In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Selfless life

September 6, 2013
01-02- Live Like That

There were many people in Stephen's life, besides his family, that saw that he put others first. No matter how screwed up his life might have been at the time he would think nothing of dropping everything to rescue someone. This song reminds me so much of that kind of love. I can only attribute it to his love for life and relationships that he learned from Jesus' teachings.

Gone too soon!

September 6, 2013

Our beloved Stephen was taken away from us on Saturday, August 31st. On his way to work that night, his motorcycle collided with an SUV. He sustained severe head trauma and internal injuries but the gallant efforts of the EMS/ER teams kept him going until his family could be with him. 

His Memorial Service was held at Klein United Methodist Church in Spring, TX on Sept. 4th and was attended by hundreds of people whose lives were touched by Stephen.

This Memorial site was created for those who knew Stephen and would like to share memories of him. It is a work in progress. Please post pictures, videos, and stories about Stephen so his daughter will get to know him better and we can share in Stephen's time here on earth.

God bless you and thank you for being a part of Stephen's life and legacy.