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A beautiful strong woman taken too soon. Cancer is a killer and cancer is nothing to pretend you have, to gain sympathy and attention of others. For 4 years my Mother fought a hard battle in which only those close to her knew of. She was strong and did not want pity nor sympathy from anyone. You either liked/loved her...or you didn't, and it didn't bother her either way. It pains me every day to think of her struggles in life especially the last few years when she needed me the most....I failed her. I live with the guilt of knowing I could have done so much more to help her through this and I did the minimal because she wanted me to live my life, she said it was my turn. At the time, I thought work was #1 and when it's too late you realize how meaningless the great job was. You realize you only get 1 Mother and nothing else should have mattered. I have learned hard life lessons from this. I have made many changes and I help those that I can. I need my Mother and she is gone forever. We shared many secrets and the many times we talked on the phone, and her mental and physical pain that never subsided. I now live her life in so many ways. Every day I wish I could call her.I want to tell her how her beautiful animals are doing. I want to tell her how the stores have changed. I want to tell her how in her last week of life everything she said would happen did and just how right she was. She said she would be glad she would not be around to see the evil that was about to happen. The mistrust, the greed, the feeling of ritousness by those who never succeeded at anything in life. The devil came to feed on her in death as he did in life. Some of us make many mistakes in life that we cannot change, but most of us grow up and grow out of it...we learn. While others feel the world owes them and what they aren't given, they steal. I wish my mother was here to guide me trough this journey.....but instead she's Gone Too Soon!