T.J. we lost "Little Milton" look out for him....We love ya'll!

3.20.19

Mama

T.J.

I got a new job. I don't have to travel to Mississippi. I start on 3/11/19. Brandy loss custody of the 3 children. She will get the boys back T. J..

Bree is 13 years old now and decided to stay with her dad.

Girls like Mariyah, Tim'mesha are daddy girls. 

Change will come!

Hi Susan,  yes, I have too tell Judy, that her sister miss here.

Point..blank..period..no questions asked!

EVERY DAY 

Berna 

I found out last Sunday 2/3/2019 that your baby sister Tim'mesha is having another child. She asked me not to tell anyone, however, I had to talk via email to Susan and my friend Cathy. She does want to keep it due to it being unexpected and my opinion about "why" I guess. Here I am working and still paying the rent over at the 5185 for her and your three nephews. Now, another one. She asked if I would adopt the child. I told her Yes! T.J. Mariyah was up her with Mary the same Sunday with her 3rd son Jermeria Boone. I had rode down to Cathy house after I cut the grass and clean her house for her to replace the carpet. I need a break. I will update you a picture of Mariyah soon. It will be the one she is standing in the yard. Your dad said she asked about me. He told her that I had just pull off. I will see her soon. I will get full custody of her. Mary did not come this weekend to Tim'mesha's house to get her eyelashes done.

Mama

Some folks are here that don't have a clue where they are. My son suffered and fought to survive.  I am here and I have to witness my surroundings and environment continue to go on with so much pain in my mind I can not even talk sometimes. It is too much to relive my life T.J. in the form of words. I want to talk to everyday via this site,  but I don't want to read my own words. 

I agree something is wrong with me. But , I will never understand peace until I get answers about you.

I just want to retire and not go out and continue to have fake my feelings and smile anymore. 

I am tired T. J.

Your Mother 

Berna

T.J. if loving you is wrong,  I will NEVER BE RIGHT. 

it has been almost 5 years.  

I have had a hard life. But, I  thought I made it when you passed sea school.  

I apologize for dropping the ball.

T.J. I think you everyday. I don't want to teach anymore because I look at the children and think of how you were at that age.

Here I am helping others to read and preform math problems. Where is my only SON.

MY ANIXETY IS AT THE MAX.

IT IS ON FIRE.

I WILL TALK TO YOU IN ANOTHER ROOM.

MOMMA

Tears and fears have not been heard nor "wonder" as many often say daily "I wonder what happened".

My mother your grandmother always had the saying if I said...I wonder...she would say to me EVERY TIME...wonder will never answer. 

She had a great sense of humor and quick thinker/quick..wit on her feet.

And she is right!

Invictus 

T.J.

I didn't remember the entire quote, Invictus. 

After logging in, I not sure if I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul

But,  I will pretend to be as I have done since the 1st time I read it years ago.

I just thank Susan for helping me to put one foot in front of the the other.

Bludgeoning: word's do hurt.

 Wow!

Powerful reminder on this 2018 1st DAY of the year.

Mama

Soon!

Life is so hard!
Why did you leave me here? I love  you T.J. more than my life.
mama

T.J. I cry everyday! What do I  supposed to do?

I keep busy and I am still  not satified with you. 

T.J. you always spoke to me.

I hope they never have to walk in my shoes, my shoes hurt.

I will go pick some beans off the vine.

Why me T.J.?

Why take you T.J.?
            

Just here T.J.

JUST MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU T.j.

I HATE THIS LIVE TODAY
I AM HERE


I JUST HATE LIFE WITHOUT MY ONLY SON!     

Please call me T.J.
I promise I will not fuse. I just want to talk to you.
T.J. T.J. T.J. please call me my number is still the same 251.591.3104.

This memorial was created in memory of our loved one,

Judy
Ten years ago you were killed, trying trying to get to me ... all those years I said we live too far apart, something will happen ... well, it happened

Your sister love so much.

Susan please fill in. My friend from California 

I AM SO MAD T.J. AT JENNIFER

LATER, I TALKED TO HER AND GAVE HER FORGIVINESS @ OUR MOTHER 32 GUN.

BUT THIS IS DEEPER THAN I CAN FIX T.J.   

We are coming for you Charly Nicole Koft (Finch) and Jermey....Look out

T. J. love his daugther, Mariyah  Ann Milton.  My son name his daughter after his favorite lady in his world. His mother, Berna Ann. His mother use to love life. He was my heart. He was my rock. If T.J. mother was mad, T.J. was mad. T.J. love his sister's, Tim'mesha. He loved his first girlfriend. T. J. loved Mary Ann Boone. T.J. best friend was his daddy, Tim. He love his family too. T.J. mother is tired of living, but to afraid to Die.  T.J. has a son name Jayden. His birthday is March 13th. We are claiming it. Mary want T.J. to her son's daddy., We will perform a DNA later. Wow, my son was such a good daddy, she prefere my son to be her son's dad even though he has died...My son started working at 14 years old. Mariyah receives his social security.  If Jayden is his, Jayden will receive his benefits too.

Some mother's baby daddy don't work and had children young. They do not get benefits.
Some men work everyday and don't pay on time, or pay every now and than. My son was A MAN. HE IS TAKING CARE OF HIS CHILD LIVING AND DEAD. His Daddy (Tim & I are proud he worked). If Mariyah started to cry and Mary was sleepy, she call (Tim)-T.J. to come get Mariyah. The next thing I knew, he was driving out the yard telling me he had to go get Mariyah because Mary needs to rest.

Well guess who ended up babysitting with him. Me...lol...One day I told him no I was not going to baby sit. Guess what my crazy son did. He left her on the deck in her car seat and said "Mama, where you go Mariyah go". Remember mama you told me years ago. Where you go, I had to go. I open the door shaking my head. He came back in about 30 minutes. It was a good laugh and a good cursing his ass out. We still laughed.

T,J said:
   T.J. said, you kept Mariyah, that is all that matter.  
Think about it....T.J. was raised right. We still laughed, every time we thought about his prank.

There is enough room for my son. Why take my child? 

He enjoyed life. His mother enjoyed him. I miss T.J. My life will never be the same. T.J. mother just exist now without her only son T.J.