Tabby, I woke up yesterday sadly aware of the significance of the day.  Though it has been a year since we were deprived of the joy and comfort of your presence the pain and emptiness are still sharp and vivid.

As I worked to get Emily up and off to school I found myself having random memories of our times with you.  I remembered when you would come over to play with Em and be intently focused on some game when you would suddenly stop, turn the TV on and sprawl on the floor.  It was time for Sponge Bob and Sponge Bob ruled.  Even when you watched an episode I knew you had seen more than once before, you laughed heartedly at every joke, even as you mouthed the dialogue and punch line.  You were greatly amused when I feigned exasperation at having another Sponge Bob rerun playing on the tube.  Okay, perhaps my exasperation wasn't really feigned, but I let you do it because you were so delightfully amused by the insanity that was Sponge Bob.  I know just about every souvenir Emily brought back to you from family trips had a connection to Sponge Bob and you loved getting them.  I remember you running around in your Sponge Bob t-shirt Emily brought you back frfom Nassau.

Another moment that popped into my memory was of a time when I had you, Emily and Helena in a restaurant for lunch.  You took one bite of your sandwich, put it down and said, "I'm done." One bite.  Then, when I removed the pickles from my own burger you asked if you could have them.  I said okay and you scarfed them down.  The waitress saw you gobbling down the pickles and asked if you would like a few to nibble on.  You said you would and she brought you a small plate piled with sliced dill pickles, probably half a jar's worth.  You beamed with happiness and started in.  I never saw anyone, before or since, get so much enjoyment from munching down a plate of dill pickles.  Now, everytime I forget to order "without pickles" and have to take them off a sandwich, I find myself longing for you to be there to eat them.

Tabby, we all miss you deeply, as I'm sure do those unknown to us who were also blessed to know you.  There is an emptiness in our lives that will never be filled but, perhaps, might be softened by the memories of you that pop up every now and then when something as innocuous as a Sponge Bob cartoon or an unwanted dill pickle pass through.  Remember you are loved by many who would have done anything to keep you in their lives had they but known they were about to lose you.

I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this  year

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,

With tiny lights like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,

For I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,

But, the sounds of music can’t compare with Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss m, I see the  pain inside your heart.

Rejoice, for I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I can’t tell you of the splendor, or the peace her in this place. Can you just imagine Christmas with our savior face to face?

I’ll ask him to light our spirit as I tell him of your love,

Then pray for one another as you lift you eyes above.

Tabitha

Tabitha’s wings made fluttering sounds as she moved silently among the wheat stalks of a field near Bethlehem. To be truthful, these little trips were authorized, but the gentle angel had grown accustomed to the brief layovers on her way to do God’s work, and since she was sure He would have made his displeasure known to herby now, she went about her personal mission as often as time would allow.

On this particular morning, Tabitha judged the stalks with the precision of an agricultural expert and her selections were meticulous. When she finished collecting a fair measure of stalks, even the field’s owner would have no idea that a kind angel has visited his crops and gathered just enough wheat to fill her arms.

As quietly as she had arrived, Tabitha slipped back into the sky and headed east. It wasn’t difficult to spot her destination from on high; the sad little house was covered by a roof that was so damaged, sleeping residents most likely has as good a view of the night sky as those resting outside! Tabitha often wished she could find a way to fix the gaping hole but her current mission was all she could do for now.

Gently stepping down to place her bounty on the home’s threshold, Tabitha turned to find the little girl sitting, as always, against the mud-covered wall.

“Shh….” The angel whispered, finger to her lips above a smile so wide the child couldn’t help but grin too. “Thank you,” the little girl’s lips responded. The angel nodded. Having completed her “extra job”, she leaned down, kissing the child’s forehead so gently, the girl’s eyes closed and sleep came instantly.

Opening her eyes to the warm winter sun, the child found exactly what she had discovered upon awakening on so many other mornings; a pile of wheat- easily enough to feed her family for several days- neatly stacked at the home’s entryway. “Tomorrow, I will stay awake long enough to see who has been leaving this gift,” the little girl promised aloud as she scooped it up and went inside with the bounty.

The time when I took her to church, on the way home, we discussed her new car. She told me she LOVED is, it was perfectly suited to her. Her father had just finished working on it. She had just learned to drive the stick shift.

I first met Tabby at a kindergarten open house.  My daughter Emily wanted me to meet her new friend and took me over to this pixie-like child.  She was the cutest, tiniest little thing!  I said hello and she looked up at the big, strange man who was talking to her then scurried away without a word to latch onto a small woman not much bigger than she.  I went over and introduced myself again and met Sherry, Tabby's mom.  On a day soon after, Emily decided to get off the bus at Tabby's stop and walk home with her, discovering she lived only a block south of our house on Faulk Drive.

From that point on Emily and Tabby began exchanging visits, eventually leading to sleepovers.  Typically, the first sleepover attempts were stressful, resulting in midnight trips to return Tabby to the familiarity of her own home.  Tabby ultimately relaxed and started to hang out more and more.  She met our neighbor, Helena, who was the same age as Emily, and the three of them became like sisters.  I described Helena as "my oldest unrelated daughter" and Tabby as the youngest.  It seemed like everywhere I went I had the three girls tagging along, but I didn't mind a bit.

Tabby was more of an early riser than my family and sometimes showed up at sunrise.  Once after working nightshift I was unlocking my front door when I heard something behind me.  I turned and saw Tabby's bike lying in the front yard, wheel still spinning.  I looked down toward my feet and into those beautiful Tabby eyes.  "Is Emily up?" she asked.  Not hardly, but we fixed that soon enough and Emily discovered Saturdays didn't start at noon.  Another time I was awakened by the doorbell just after dawn and stumbled out to find Tabby with those big wide eyes and mischievous grin wanting to know if Em was up yet.  She wasn't, but I let Tabby in and she gleefully ran into Em's room and piled on top of the bed.  Emily was up now.

Emily and Tabby had the good fortune to be in the same class from kindergarten to third grade at Canopy Oaks Elementary, after which we moved east of Tallahassee and Tabby eventually moved to Crawfordville.  Our move fifteen miles away meant that visits were not so spontaneous, but they still happened.  I ran Dad's Shuttle Service then, and still do.  After the Nelsons moved to Wakulla, getting together became more of a problem; visits and trips tapered off. Eventually the contacts were mostly by social media.

While still in the same neighborhood, Tabby, Helena and Emily loved to play games in our house,  Dress-up fashion show was fun for them as they tried on my wife's older dresses, still many sizes too big for any of them, and strutted "down the runway" narrating their outfits.  Hide-and-seek was the most popular game, I guess because we had so much stuff piled everywhere that hiding places were bountiful. Tabby was easily the champion hider, forcing Em and Helena to acknowledge defeat then emerging from places like a laundry hamper.  Tabby once asked me to help her hide, asking me to put a chair throw over her.  That didn't seem creative to me, but Tabby first sat in an overstuffed chair then asked for the blanket.  Once the blanket was thrown loosely over her a casual observer would not have noticed her sitting in the chair.  Like I said, cute and tiny.  On another day I had a number of copy paper boxes stacked around the room, packing prior to moving.  Tabby, again a hider, looked at an empty box, then folded herself into it and asked me to put the top on.  I did, placing another empty box on top.  Em and Helena searched the house relentlessly, determined to find Tab and passing by her countless times, but still having to give up in the end!  Cute, tiny and ingenious!  Could you curl up in a xerox paper box?  Me neither.

I took or chaperoned Tabby on several school trips.  On one trip to Joe Budd Wildlife Management Area one of the activities was fishing.  Tabby didn't care much for the hook baiting process, but did manage to catch a small catfish.  Being told it would not live long enough to take home, she tossed it back, followed very soon by the rest of our bait, much to the chagrin of the ranger.  Tabby then undertook a less disquieting task: enticing one of the many small alligators in the area to come ashore so she could catch it!  She likely would have too, had I allowed it. On another trip, to Wakulla Springs, she was a regular energizer Tabby, wanting to swim (not included in the field trip), catch a fish swimming near the dock, and wanting so much to lure a gator close enough to the jungle boat that she could grab it.  Not pet it, grab it.  Tabby was the one I had to keep an eye on because she was fearless and willing to try any adventure.  A far cry from the timid little girl I had met in Mrs. Shook's kindergarten class years before.

Our last trip was a weekender, with Wild Adventure theme park sandwiched in between two (extending to three) sleepovers.  Helena couldn't go to the park due to a foot injury but Tabby and Emily, after roaring around the theme park for endless hours, almost wearing out the roller coasters and definitely wearing out their chauffeur, found time the next day to pick up Helena and hit Subway for subs and gossip before wrapping up our weekend and taking Tabby back to Crawfordville.  Life is full of missed opportunities; if only we had known then that this trip was to be our last with Tabby...

Sunrise doesn't always bring cute little pixies knocking at your door, it also brings newspapers and newspapers sometimes bring bad news.  When I read about Tabby's passing, I was in shock.  I read the notice repeatedly, hoping to find some element that meant the Tabitha in the paper was not our Tabby.  But the names, Buddy, Sherry, Robert, the age... everything indicated it was her.  I held myself together until I got Emily off to school then lost myself in sadness. I delayed telling Emily until school was out, meanwhile informing Helena's Mom so she could tell Helena.  We made plans, Emily, Helena, my wife Karen, and I, to attend Tabby's funeral and honor her life and memory.  Her life was a blessing for all those she touched and her memory will live forever in the hearts and minds of those who were so fortunate as to have shared in her existence.

Buddy, Sherry and Robert:  Emily, Helena and I were unable to talk to you at the funeral; the crowd was large and we were limited in time.  I would have liked to have told you how much we all loved Tabby and how much we will miss her, and console you all as best we could.  Know that Tabby was family to us and shall always have a loving place in our hearts.

Tabby, we love you and miss you, and will cherish always the short time we had together on this earth.  Rest in peace, smile down upon those of us you left behind, and know always that you are loved.

--Mr. Paul