ForeverMissed
Large image
Stories

Share a special moment from Tad's life.

Write a story

Uncle Tad

October 20, 2019
So many great memories of my Uncle Tad…he was the real deal...always present and in the moment, always in a good mood and fun to be around, always genuinely interested to know more.  He had a way of putting people at ease, while asking challenging questions.  I continue to reflect on his advice and often think about our conversations.  I try to be the same way with my son and nephew.

In July 2008, Uncle Tad, Aunt Linda, and Brittany visited me in Halifax...such a great visit on many levels.  One of the highlights was spending a few hours at Peggy’s Cove.  It was a perfect day to experience that place.  The sky, the fog, and ocean appeared to blend together.  For the first time that I remember, Brittany expressed concern about her dad’s health.  I never would have known…Uncle Tad seemed to be happy, and his demeanor matched the peacefulness of that day.

October 2011, I was in Atlanta for work, and Uncle Tad met me one morning.  He picked me up at the hotel and we headed to the High Museum.  He was excited to show me a Jackson Pollock that was recently on view as part of a special exhibit, ‘Picasso to Warhol.’  Uncle Tad led the way, quietly passing other master works to finally arrive at Pollock.  I remember that he didn’t say anything; we just observed and enjoyed for a while.  It was a special day for me.  He was a very special person.

Uncle Tad, we love you and we miss you.

My Little Brother

October 16, 2019
Tad was born on June 29 1947, the second of four children, to Merle and Betty Jo Patterson. He was special. His dark brown eyes and hair were a contrast to my blue eyes and blond to light brown. He was quiet and gentle from the first day I saw him to the last. 

There are far too many memories to choose one. But Brittany (Miss B as she was sometimes called) asked me to share one here and I can never say no to Miss B. 

I visit Tad in Marietta after he had been fighting his cancer for a long time and when his strength was sapped. I knew it might be the last time I’d have with him. Like every visit with Tad, there were things he wanted to show me. On this visit one such thing was a little group of South American immigrants he was teaching English in return for their teaching him Spanish. So, he asked if I’d like to go to a session with this group. I was delighted to go. It was one of the best experiences I had with Tad. We met the pastor and several members of the “church” in a small office in a run down strip mall several towns over from Marietta. The group included 8 or 10 adults and 4 or 5 children all of varying ages. Some could hardly speak English. The pastor and his wife were conversant. That day was memorable. The relationship Tad shared with the group of people was reciprocal and loving. There was a profound humility very much in line with what Christ, The Buddha, and Mohammed, taught. 

We ate lunch they had prepared and spent about two hours with them talking, or trying to, in both languages. There was this joy of sharing like I experienced at family gatherings when I was a child. 

I have seen many faces of Tad. But, I had never seen that one. The time we shared those two hours was precious. Nobody was in charge. No one was in “their”element. We were all in a kind of communion that had nothing to do with the rest of our lives, past or future. 

There are so many things I think of about Tad. But, one that always comes back to me is the time he shared his little group of South American immigrants with me. 

Caring Grandpa Tad

October 15, 2019
Tad Patterson was my great, great, great, great (maybe more greats) grandfather in Phi Delta Theta Fraternity. I knew of him before I would meet him eight months after I join the fraternity that he helped found with four other close friends back in 1966.

I say “great grandfather” because we had a mentor program in the fraternity where an older member is paired with new members. We all learned our lineage back then, to know who of the early guys we linked to. I had joined as an older grad student and was the live-in graduate advisor when I met Tad.

The October 1979 Emporia State homecoming was the 10th anniversary celebration of Tad’s local Beta Sigma Tau fraternity affiliating with Phi Delta Theta International Fraternity. Tad and other alumni attended.

The 1970s had not been kind to fraternities across America. There was a precipitous drop in young men joining across America. The Baby Boom had crested and the 70s was the do-your-own-thing decade. In the first few years of the 70s Emporia State saw five fraternity chapters fold. While Tad, Doug Lewis, Larry King, Jack Adams and David Rukes had established a strong foundation in Beta Sigma Tau based on principles and the vison for a quality brotherhood, by the end of the decade their beloved Phi Delt chapter was struggling and in a dire position.

Tad, like all our founders and early brothers, were rightfully concerned. Living in Georgia before the digital age, Tad and others found it difficult feel the pulse of chapter problem-solving. Being the older live-in chapter advisor, Tad wanted to talk fraternity with me. The party and dance music were loud making it difficult to converse. Tad suggested we go out to the parking lot and sit in the car.

In the car, we talked for over an hour. Tad had thoughtful questions and asked my assessment of all aspect of chapter operations. I valued the care and concern during this scary time in our chapter.

As it all turned out, our Phi Delt chapter had begun to turn the corner on managing the myriad of issues confronting it. In that academic year, new contributing members were signed who would lead the chapter back to top status among fraternities on the ESU campus.

That extended conversation with Tad gave me confidence. He made me feel proud that I linked back to him and gave me a deeper appreciation for my membership in a quality fraternal association.

I next saw Tad at the Silver Anniversary Reunion. His chapter had rebounded soon after the 10th anniversary and remained strong over the next 15 years and beyond. It was great to see Tad and his contemporary brothers reconnecting. I felt I had a close connection with Tad and knew he always would have our backs. It felt good.

We celebrated the 45th anniversary in 2014 after Tad’s death in 2012. He was with us that weekend, in our hearts and minds. We celebrated the Golden Anniversary in the summer of 2019. Tad was still with us all who knew him.

Tad was member number 2. Tad’s son was Mike Montee, #11. Mike’s son was Dennis Steadman, #36. His son was Wesley Marks, #88. His son was my pop, Steve Traylor, #139. My number is 160.

Share a story

 
Add a document, picture, song, or video
Add an attachment Add a media attachment to your story
You can illustrate your story with a photo, video, song, or PDF document attachment.