whispering my name
i heard you say my name
as i drove towards the mountain that day
your hugs and love were so strong
i could and would never forget
i heard you say no matter where i g in the world you wud always be there
i heard you whisper... remember where your from for those that walked before me, will always be there beside me
i felt you in the wind today... i love you
i have being going thru some stuff dad about forgiveness ... that i have to forgive god for taking you away from me, i have found that hard as i have never been able to understand why he had to do that, why did he have to let so much harm come to me as a child it changed the path of my life and a life i haven't been very happy with but the joy i have had with my children.
i heard someone say that there are many religions and ones that dont have God in that religion, like dedication to things that matter the most to people, something they make a commitment to which has been hard for me as i haven't made a commitment to anything really only family and ive been rejected by family. they haven't cared that i was dedicated to them even with all my failings others become dedicated to things that make their lives better and more richer (financially) i know i didnt have to suffer all those years and i did make some great decisions but i also made some very bad ones that have helped for me to suffer ...she didnt have to spend all that money on others she could have helped me but chose not to, i have come to the realization God cant help us all he cant be there for us all and i certainly am one of those that fall far from being one of his favorites ( he reminds me of her and her treatment towards me) i have faith in Jesus but he also is limited yet never failing, but the holy spirit people talk about is always trying to hold me up an never let me down i dont feel
so now i dont want to dwell on all i have lost and need to move forward to make my life and in hopes others lives better as well
so i have tried to find a way to make my life more purposeful, so i am going to try and dedicate my life to something so that what remaining years i have left will mean something for me...
but i will always remember you, my Dad who loved me unconditionally a love that i have never been able to find again in this life and thats is something i have missed so very much
i love you dad and will never forget you