ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Tammy Calkins, 50 years old, born on December 8, 1970, and passed away on June 6, 2021. We will remember her forever.

The service will be a graveside funeral:
WHEN: Thursday June 10th, 2021
TIME: 1:00 pm 
 WHERE: West Ridge road cemetery also known as Falls cemetery
ADDRESS: 1941 W Ridge Rd, Greece, NY 14626.

Additional: After the funeral we will meet at Sawyer Park for a gathering. If you have any questions please reach out. Thank You!
Posted by Jessica Calkins on June 14, 2021
Mom, I've been trying to put the words together to say how I feel but I'm still so hurt to think I really had to let you go..
Thinking about all the time I got to spend with you and wishing I could have even more. Missing us singing in the kitchen to every single Usher song when I made dinner. Everytime you seemed to be getting better and you went back to your home again, I was happy but also sad because I just liked you being here with me. I keep thinking about when you couldn't walk anymore and I brought you and Matthew into my bed super early in the morning when Ely left for work and you said "I love this, I feel so close" and now everytime I lay in bed I think of you saying that because I'm wrapped in your robe just trying to hold on to you.. I'm trying to be strong because I know that's what you wanted but I don't know how you were that strong, strongest woman I know without a doubt.. last night we put up Matthews trampoline, the one you got him for his birthday, really wish you could've seen his face when it was done, he was so happy and jumped until it got dark.. I'm so grateful I got every moment I did with you but I really really want to keep making more with you...I feel like I just started getting my life together to be able to give back to you and vacation, relax...We were so excited about going to Virgina Beach in August and it doesn't feel right you won't be going with us. I know I'll find a way to get some peace from this but I wish there was a way I could scream loud enough to bring you back here. Love you forever mom..xoxo
Posted by Eli Melendez on June 10, 2021
Tammy , I just want to tell you, message received.... while at Sawyer Park, I stood afar and watched all these amazing people come together because of you. Because of your love & friendship. And just as I was taking it all in, a beautiful butterfly flew around (almost smacking Ely lol) but it made its way around everyone. I know in my heart it was you ❤️ Thank you for letting me know you’re ok. And that you’re still here ALWAYS AND FOREVER !! I love you ❤️❤️
Posted by Dawn Haines on June 10, 2021
Even with all the flowers and ppl who were there to say there goodbyes All the beautiful pictures to reflect on your life All seemed like a dream Like a nightmare that were all gonna wake up and everything is gonna be okay But Reality sets in And we're Still here but your not ☹️ They say Time heals all wounds but this one Is gonna be yet the hardest to get Over I'll love you forever Fly high Baby girl xoxo
Posted by Terri Gatti on June 10, 2021
My dearest Tammy today I am going to be around your grave this hurts so bad my heart is breaking I can't believe your not here. I won't say goodbye because I know I will see you again. I will always love and miss you everyday.keep smiling baby girl because now your with Jesus. You will always be remembered you had so much love to give your spirit will always be with me fly high rest in paradise and watch over all of us.
Posted by Melissa Calkins on June 9, 2021
I will never forget about all of the times we would talk. I thank you for teaching me to pay attention to close detail. It has taught me to be organized and to be able to keep calm so I am able to uphold your wishes. I know you will be always looking down on us with joy. I will always make sure Benjamin knows who you are and that you were a very important part of his life. I couldn't ask for a better mother. I am so sorry for not being the best daughter and that I should have been more. I wish I was able to sing more when you wanted me to and I promise to you that you will be singing everyday going forward for you. I know you would be proud of us and we will continue to make you proud. I love you mom.
Posted by Lisa Vary on June 8, 2021
I grew up with Tammy so I had the sister first.Watched her become a parent a friend and sister.We enjoyed good times sad times and plenty of love to go around.You are my sister friend and I will miss you a lot but now you’re on the next journey of your life .
Posted by Eli Melendez on June 8, 2021
I have rewritten my words a million times. So many things come rushing to my head & I don’t know how to filter through it all. The idea that I cannot speak these things to you directly still seems so unreal to me... but I’ll start with the one thing I didn’t have the chance to say. Thank you. Thank you for being the most caring , selfless , loving person I’ve ever met. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your world. Thank you for allowing me to make bonds with your children & making me feel like I was a Calkins myself. Thank you for all the laughter over coffee. Thank you for all the advice in a friendly/motherly way. Thank you for the invites over when I felt extremely lonely, just to watch a movie that you fall asleep to 5 seconds in lol. Thank you for the random catch ups at my old job. Thank you for the random texts that kept us in touch always. Thank you for everything else in between. But most of all, thank you for being there for me through one of the hardest decisions of my life. It’s truly rare to come across someone who can read and feel your sorrow without you having to speak. Someone who comes to your aid without even being asked. You sat by me while my entire world was altering. And even after, you continued to keep me above water. I didn’t have to say anything to you Tammy, you just saw my hand & held on so tight so I wouldn’t drown. And I never got the chance to tell you , thank you. You honestly and truly kept me from my own darkness. So thank you for being an amazing friend; I truly hope you know how grateful I am and ALWAYS will be for that. You will always be in my heart and embedded in my memories forever. Thank you Tammy . Thank you for being you ❤️ I miss you....
Posted by Elizabeth Scott on June 8, 2021
I can’t believe that your gone Tammy! Growing up your family always made me feel like i had a real home, always with you guys, always staying the night. No matter what I’ve always felt the love and I’ll forever be grateful. Thank you for giving me those memories to carry on for the rest of my life. Love you Tammy.
Posted by Noah Calkins on June 8, 2021
I cannot believe that you are gone, it feels like just yesterday that me and Elijah were fighting on who got to sit on your lap in the dining room. I will always remember the small talks that you had with me, you cared so much about me and treated me like your own. I have so many regrets and things I wish I could change but I can't dwell on those. You will never be forgotten, the impact you had on everyone's lives, you always had so much love to give to everyone. You will be forever missed and I love you.
Posted by Terri Gatti on June 8, 2021
To a wonderful friend I still can't believe your gone. I want to thank u for being my friend all of these years. I will cherish the love laughter and stories. I will carry the last words that u spoke to me in the hosiptal forever in my heart. I will miss u forever. You were an amazing women mother and friend to everyone you touch. Including me.fly high baby girl until we meet again. I love so much.
Posted by Cindy Schlosser on June 8, 2021
Tammy you are gone but will never be forgotten ❤️     You were always beautiful inside and out and always had a love for people and that will never be forgotten and you meant alot to me for the love you showed to my daughter Beckie and she will always have you in her heart and my son Noah for being his protector and he loved you so much for that but most of all we love you like I told you and your memories will be with us forever in our hearts so fly high and we will see you again ❤️❤️❤️
Posted by lulu Giordano on June 8, 2021
I still can't believe your gone this is so heartbreaking you were and still are a beautiful and amazing woman and a great friend I will truly miss you I LOVE YOU TAMMY.
Posted by David Alvarado on June 8, 2021
Tammy ill cherish the years and time we spent together as family, I wish it could have been more time. The Alvarado house will carry you in our hearts for ever. Give God my regards and I can't wait to see your smile when we join you up there. Love you always.
Posted by Cameo Bassford on June 8, 2021
Tammy u will be forever miss l will miss the laughter all the good memories about you fly high until we meet again love you you was an great person great mother and your love was out standing. Your kids are awesome and I love all of them.
Posted by Crystal Latour on June 8, 2021
To a lovin mother friend an sister as it was you will always be in my heart an we will for ever love u this is hard for me but you were thier for every one an u watch my kids grown from babys to now my heart breaks everytime i think of u an the help u gave me an my kids you were like a mother an a sister to i will always love u xoxoxo ❤❤❤
Posted by Lorri Briscoe on June 8, 2021
I will cherish the many hours at work, the laughter, the tears. The talks we had about things going on in our lives. You were always the one with the smile every single day, even the hard days. Forever in my heart.❤❤
Posted by Teresa Wilson on June 8, 2021
Tammy you gave time with your kids as i didn't have any of my own.  You were a friend and a sister. We could go years without yalking and pick up where we left off. You will be missed, I'm so happy you are whole again with no more pain.
Posted by Caryn King on June 8, 2021
Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved.
Where there is deep grief, there was deep love.❤️
Posted by Dawn Haines on June 7, 2021
Tammy my Dear friend I've known you For a long time Maybe 25, 30 yrs Seems like a lifetime Lol Lots of Good memories that I'll always Cherish for many years to come.... You were my strength when I lost my husband and I'll forever love you for being there for me... I'm gonna miss all of our 2-3 hour phone calls If Heaven Had a Stairway I'd Walk right up and Hug you so tight. My Heart is so broken I love you and the kids So much Rest Easy Baby Girl I'll love you Till we Meet again xoxo ❤️
Posted by Mariah Calkins on June 7, 2021
My mommy, I don’t know how I will get through without you, but I will. You were taken from us far too soon! You will be forever missed by so many! You touched the lives of everyone that you met, whether it be your closest friends or the woman in the grocery store check-out counter. You will forever be my best friend and first love! Until I see you again, fly high momma!
Posted by Marcus Johnson on June 7, 2021
Tammy, I love you, sooo very much... you always gave me such real and sound advice... I live by it everyday, you raise BEAUTIFUL children and always understood how life goes and you always had such great life experience. You welcomed me in with open arms and treated me as your own, I love you I love you I LOVE YOU! I will miss you IMMENSELY ❤❤
Posted by Irene Lafferty on June 7, 2021
My dear friend, I met you 22 yrs ago in a God centered convention, which was one of the most fortunate days of my life.
I had always admired your strength, the love for your family and your ability to draw friends close. You were the real deal as friends go in this world and a piece of my heart is now missing.
But I will always remember our laughter, our children growing up and the kindness you abundantly shared. You are loved and you mattered Tammy
I'm honored to have called you my friend.
Posted by Dylan Utter on June 7, 2021
While not biological, Tammy will always be remembered as my mother. She was such a charismatic, compassionate, and driven soul. The world has lost a great person, while heaven has gained a great angel. Tammy will forever be missed. I love you mom

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Recent Tributes
Posted by Jessica Calkins on June 14, 2021
Mom, I've been trying to put the words together to say how I feel but I'm still so hurt to think I really had to let you go..
Thinking about all the time I got to spend with you and wishing I could have even more. Missing us singing in the kitchen to every single Usher song when I made dinner. Everytime you seemed to be getting better and you went back to your home again, I was happy but also sad because I just liked you being here with me. I keep thinking about when you couldn't walk anymore and I brought you and Matthew into my bed super early in the morning when Ely left for work and you said "I love this, I feel so close" and now everytime I lay in bed I think of you saying that because I'm wrapped in your robe just trying to hold on to you.. I'm trying to be strong because I know that's what you wanted but I don't know how you were that strong, strongest woman I know without a doubt.. last night we put up Matthews trampoline, the one you got him for his birthday, really wish you could've seen his face when it was done, he was so happy and jumped until it got dark.. I'm so grateful I got every moment I did with you but I really really want to keep making more with you...I feel like I just started getting my life together to be able to give back to you and vacation, relax...We were so excited about going to Virgina Beach in August and it doesn't feel right you won't be going with us. I know I'll find a way to get some peace from this but I wish there was a way I could scream loud enough to bring you back here. Love you forever mom..xoxo
Posted by Eli Melendez on June 10, 2021
Tammy , I just want to tell you, message received.... while at Sawyer Park, I stood afar and watched all these amazing people come together because of you. Because of your love & friendship. And just as I was taking it all in, a beautiful butterfly flew around (almost smacking Ely lol) but it made its way around everyone. I know in my heart it was you ❤️ Thank you for letting me know you’re ok. And that you’re still here ALWAYS AND FOREVER !! I love you ❤️❤️
Posted by Dawn Haines on June 10, 2021
Even with all the flowers and ppl who were there to say there goodbyes All the beautiful pictures to reflect on your life All seemed like a dream Like a nightmare that were all gonna wake up and everything is gonna be okay But Reality sets in And we're Still here but your not ☹️ They say Time heals all wounds but this one Is gonna be yet the hardest to get Over I'll love you forever Fly high Baby girl xoxo
her Life

God Bless You Tammy

Bless you on your way.
Bless the life you have lived- each day, each hour, each minute.
Bless all of the people you have ever loved. 
Bless all of the people who have ever loved you.
Bless the work you did here- what you made with your hands, your heart, and your love. 
Bless the joy you felt- the moments of laughter and celebration.
Bless the moments of regret for things said and unsaid, done and undone.
Bless the forgiveness that releases those regrets and replaces them with love. 
Bless the piece that surrounds you as you fly free. 
Bless the curtain that rises to let you in. 
Bless the love that welcomes your soul. 
Bless the god that heals all wounds, takes all pain, and shows you the love you are, and always were, and always will be. 
Bless the moment when you become that love. Bless you on your way.

Written By: Mary Davis

Beloved Wife, Mother, & Friend

Tammy is survived by her husband James Calkins, her children Mariah Calkins (Age 30), Melissa Calkins (Age 26), Jessica Calkins (23), Dallas Calkins (21), Elijah Calkins (19), and Noah Calkins (19), her four grandchildren, and family and friends. 

Tammy Calkins was born and raised in Rochester, NY on December 8th 1970 to Geraldine Vary. Tammy has two living sisters Lisa and Wendy Vary and one brother Thomas Wood. 
Recent stories

To my mother, to my best friend

Shared by Jessica Calkins on June 7, 2021
My pride won't let me say she lost her battle last night because she didn't lose, she fought so hard and for a woman that had such a hard life she really didn't deserve this. I've never felt a pain like this but somehow I know things are going to be okay.. A mother who gave her life to raising all of her own children and many along the way who lived with us throughout the years. A mother who put everyone before herself every single time. I am so lucky to have had the pleasure of taking care of my mom the past 6 months. She always said she didn't want to be a burden but all I wanted was to take care of my mommy and feel like I was giving something back to her. There is so much I could say but in a way this still hasn't settled yet that it's really happened. I feel like I can still call you on my lunch breaks, on my drive home from work, stop and grab her a large hot dunkin coffee with extra cream and extra sugar, I will miss sitting together folding laundry and watching our shows, I'll miss telling you, "We need to get you a hobby" and you telling me "I don't want to paint, cook or freakin knit". Mom you were one extraordinary woman...I really want to say thank you to Ely and Matthew for being my rock throughout this. Everyone noticed me taking care of my mom but those 2 really took care of me when I needed it most. Another thank you to my amazing job who not only said family first but really meant it by letting me take long lunches every time I took her to treatment, take countless days off where ever I needed it and even let me cry it out the days I couldn't hold it together or work my tail off when I needed to keep my mind busy. I love you mommy... thank you for not only being an amazing mom but also my best friend ♥️