They say bad things happen for a reason, No wise words will stop the bleeding
This day etched in mind, the scene plays over and over
What could I have done? What could anyone have done?
My heart hurts, I can barely breathe, I feel your despair and your pain
I know you had a bad day, and I know many played a part in that
At first I thougt this cannot be real, reality sets in when I see you lying there
It is you, but it is not
I want to blame, I want to hurt someone they way you hurt
I cannot breathe, the screams trapped inside
Watching everyone cry with so much pain
This loss is unbearable to take
Why? Why...
Days that follow, I only celebrate your life
Telling stories, looking at beautiful pictures and listening to your songs
I go through your things and pack them away just knowing you wanted me to do that
I do not remember much but the feeling of your guidance
Playing detective and trying to find answers
I need answers...
Talking to everyone you know, trying to find out why?
What happened?
People ask me why it matters
because it does, because YOU mattered
At the end of my research, which took months to get
The conclusion and the evidence is that you chose to take your own life
There is someone that knows the final moments, minutes of your life
He chooses to say nothing...
Maybe one day, that will change
I pray...
Acceptance is a very hard thing, having to get with the fact that it was your life, to do with it what you chose
I just wish I could have helped you, could have saved you
I wish you knew how loved your were, you are
I wish you knew your passing would devastate so many
You made such an impact on so many...
I fight my demons just like you, I fight them with the gift of strength that YOU gave me
