I waited my whole life to find you. Once I found out I had a little sister, I tried my best to locate you. Back then, BCW didn’t care about separating siblings. As I got older, my search efforts intensified. We didn’t have the internet back then. When I was in the group home, I gave the other girls an assignment: If you see a girl that looks like me on the train, bus, etc. question her ♀️! I know, sounds crazy, but I was determined to find you. For 21 years, the question remained, “Where is Tanzania Appiah?” God knew how desperate I was to find you. Finally, your mom, Evelyn, reached out to our egg donor , & then reached out to me. You were finally found. God finally gave you to me. Then we met in my apartment in Flatbush. The egg donor always remembered that you looked like me. I still have the vhs tape of when we first met. I can’t bring myself to watch it. We instantly connected. It was love ❤️ at first sight. Of course the egg donor completely ruined it. How can you expect a child, now 21 (in 2001) to embrace you when the last day you saw her, she was 9 DAYS old & you were dangling her outside of a Brooklyn apartment window 4 stories up? ♀️.....at least she had the decency to abandon me in the hospital with no name.♀️...I was so happy to see that you were adopted by the best family ever. I wish I had gotten that lucky. The way your mom treated you & kissed on you....No one would ever know that she wasn’t your biological mother. If I was able to see into the future & know God was only lending you to me for 9 years, I would have made it my business to see you EVERY DAY‼️ EVERY HOUR & EVERY MINUTE EVERY SECOND‼️ It seems so cruel that I looked for you all my life & had all these plans for us, only to lose you again 9 years later. Someone told me you’re not completely at Peace because I’m not at Peace. Well, since last year, I’ve been making strides. A friend I met, Loretta, convinced me to participate with the walks at AFSP.org. I still question myself. I don’t cry as much, but I still cry ‼️I miss you, & I’m so sorry I couldn’t have saved you. Although my heart still aches, I pray my progress gives your soul Peace. I Love You. Until we meet again baby girl - Tanzi Evelyn Gilmore fka Tanzania Appiah. 6/13/1980 - 7/4/2010 R.I.P. #suicideprevention #afsp #suicideawareness Grab someone today & tell them you love them.