Thelma always came earlier to help with salads, potatoes,, desserts, making iced Tea , fold napkins, or whatever needed a hand at the moment. We were always laughing, telling jokes and stories from A to Z! During the dinners, Thelma would ask my sons Bryan and Alex to play old songs in the long vynil plays ( some of them were her Collection that she gave to Alex, along with her old wood radio and record player) . The Spanish Group " Los Panchos " playing their beautiful Boleros were Always the 1st to be played because they reminded her of the times spent with her sisters and Bob. We usually listened or sang along with her. She loved the Big Bands Music and played lots of those too. 

After the dinners, she loved to play the Longest Trains of Dominoes! Then we would have delicious desserts, some made by Thelma, like her spectacular Cream Coconut Torte, and many others. We still pray and talk stories involving our Dearest Friend Thelma in Every Holiday. As she got older and she could not travel to be with her family for special dates, we were happy that she joined and entertained our holidays with her  presence. I still like to think of Thelma visiting us, and spending those valuable times that left so many Sweet Memories in Our Hearts! WE LOVE YOU DEAR THELMA AND ALWAYS WILL! THANKS ASHLEY, MYLES, URSA , ASHA FOR SHARING THELMA WITH US! WE ALWAYS APPRECIATED HOW FORTUNATE WE WERE TO ENJOY HER AS WE DID! SO LONG KIND, WITTY, AND MOST GENEROUS " TELMITA" AS MY CHILEAN MOM USED TO CALL YOU...THANKS FOR THE GREAT TIMES AND MEMORIES...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN WITH YOU AND BOB! THE DOWLINGS LOVE YOU FOREVER...

We found this paper stashed in one of Thelie's drawers.  It shows notes from a younger Asha asking her Great-Grandmother aka "Nana" random questions about her imagined "Dream Life"...too cute!  (click pic to expand)

When I would stay with Gram the music sometimes played all day, usually she sang along...I rememeber her signing to this one often....

She was always there for me.  To share good news with or a shoulder to cry on.  Missing Gram.

Gram danced to "Brick House" by Rick James (with her walker!) at my wedding reception the night this photo was taken. 

After surviving breast cancer and other serious health challenges, Mom left her beloved little house on Bechaud Beach Drive to live at the Lutheran Home in Fond du Lac.  Her dear "Fondie" friends rallied around her and helped ease the transition. We will be forever grateful to them for their continued friendship.

In 2006, she left her friends and the familiarity of the Midwest and bravely moved to New Jersey.  Although the separation was difficult she was closer to Myles (in Maryland), Ursa and Asha (in Philadelphia), and me - just down the road.

What a transition!  From the Lutheran Home to the Regency Heritage Jewish Home, but Mom took it in stride and won over staff and residents alike with her optimism and out-going personality.  She mastered being a Christian lady living in a Kosher nursing home and enjoyed attending the Rabbi's discussion group where she demonstrated her knowledge of the Old Testament, while (I have no doubt) instructing the Rabbi about the New Testament as well! 

Mom lived at the Jewish Home for over nine years and always appreciated her cozy room, surrounded by her favorite furniture and keep-sakes.  She was a favorite of the staff who she considered her family - they even bent the rules and allowed her to have a pet bird in her room!  By the way, Mom's bird now resides in Asha’s cheery room in Philadelphia.   

It was a privilege having Mom 20 minutes from my home and helping her navigate the loss of her eyesight and other health adversities that she faced with her chin up. Throughout her years at the Jewish Home, Myles and his wife Laurie, and Ursa and Asha provided unfailing support and comfort with daily phone calls and regular treks from Maryland and Philadelphia.

Those of you who know my mom will also know that her warmth and loving nature was accompanied by her strong will!  Although we had our disagreements (usually when I thought I knew what was best for her and she asserted her independence), we never a doubted that we loved each other deeply. She never failed to thank me for caring for her and I in turn thanked her for being the Best Mom in the World.   When walking out the door after each visit I would tell her that I loved her the most - her response was always "but I love you more."     

Right now, it is hard to imagine how I will face the void left by Mom’s death, but the unconditional love that she gave me will sustain me for my lifetime.    

Thelma belived that food fed body and soul and she loved cooking for her family, neighbors, friends - even strangers.   Befriending people and then feeding them was a family tradition.  She tells the story of "hobos" coming to her mother's back door in Yuma in hopes of finding a meal during the Great Depression.  

Thelma in turn baked bread, desserts and meals for the guy who pumped her gas, people she met in parking lots, and others.  Warnings from her children not to befriend strangers were not headed and, thankfully, her food-centered gragariousness only had happy endings!  

Some of her favorite recipes are in the slideshow.