Hi Hon,
 Wanted to say I love you & miss you so much, but I'm sure you know that. Sorry I haven't been on much. Someimes it's just to painful to write things down. Also with the girls having kids & trying to get out of house more it's rough.

You'll be happy to know that We will be getting a inground Pool within a few weeks. It's has been in the works for a few months now. Jamisson is 5 & Ellie will be 16 soon? Tomorrow Abby turn 3 & in Aug. Nate turns 2. You would love them all so much. Can't believe sometimes that we have 4 Beautiful & Amazing Grandkids. Oh I got the kids a new huge playset all wood. It will be put up on the 27th I will take pictures of it & the pool. For now here is what they should look like....

I'm sure you know by now that DJ has joined you. I feel so bad for your Sister & our Niece. 

I'm really trying hon to do more & stay out of our bedroom so much, but it's hard. So many days leave the room. I have to force myself to leave our room. I wish you were here.
We will write more when I can. Love & miss you. 
Your loving wife Karen 

Hi Hon,
It's 4:19 AM on 9-18-2015 I'm sitting here missing something awful. I can't sleep I know what else is new. If you were here I know that you would at least hold me for a little while & try & help me fall asleep like you did so many times. Of cause in a few minutes I would hear you snoring & that would be the end of me falling asleep until you got up for work. I miss that bathroom light shinning in my eyes.  Of cause I hate it when you were here. I never understood why you didn't shut the door. Guess you just wanted to annoy me in your own way. What I wouldn’t do to have that light keeping me awake or waking me up.

There’s so much I want to tell you. So much has happened damn Tom why did you have to go? I got to get off here I can’t see the screen through my tears. I love my sweetheart. 

The date 09/11 (September 11th) use to be a day of sadness & remembering the loses of people & the loss of feeling safe for me. The world became a different place & every anniversary I would think of that & pray for all &wish things were different.

Since September 11th, 2012 I think of this date 09/11/ every day I can't get it out of my head or get away from it. I hear it or see it every day. I truly hate to see or hear those numbers. 

On September 11th, 2012 at 6:15 AM on Highway I-10 Eastbound, Right Lane, 106 Feet East of Yellow Water Road in Jacksonville, FL my world ended when my Husband Tom (Red) Anderson was killed in a horrendous vehicle (so called) accident. It has been 3 years & yet it hurt as much if not more if that is possible. I miss Him more then words can say. The pain is unbearable at times. I never knew anything could be like this. I still go around in a light fog, which I don't know if I will ever get out of.  

Yes I function, but it's only a good acting job. Inside I feel empty, I can't go or do anything without thinking of Him & what He would think or be doing. Sometimes I think that He will be home in a little while, I must call Him or ask Him something and then I remember He's gone & I can't do that. I cry, scream, throw things & yet it only helps at the time. Life goes on, but to me I'm going through the motions. I have been trying to go out & do more with my family, but at times it takes all I can to do it, because I see my Grands & I know how much He would of loved them & the fun He would of had with them. I know our Girls miss Him so much & it hurts me not to be able to help get through this. I know it is most likely upsetting to them when I talk about Him. I can't help it I don't mean to add to their pain. I just want to talk about Him.

I'm sure He is watching us & has been around, but it's not the same. Let me tell Grief never ends you simply just become a very good actor & try to hide the truth of how you feel. Time Does Not Heal a Damn Thing! The only thing worse then losing a Spouse is losing a Child I have been told. Bless all of you who have lost a Child & those who have lost both. I don't think I could ever handle it.

OK I have said what I wanted. Tom I love & Miss you more then I could ever say or show. 

                                                            By Karen T Anderson
                                                                    09/11/2015