In our family, we have always hoped that when someone passes - they will leave you a "sign" that "they are ok & in a good place." Tommy has blessed me several times during my most tearful of moments.

While sobbing uncontrollably I begged him to just let me know that he is ok - that I needed him to know that I have enough faith for him to know he would be in Heaven with our girls, Thomas, Gramma Betty and my Mom. 

I lay staring at the ceiling fan over his bed while I was in the midst of a drenching hot flash. Tommy would wake up - no matter what time- to turn the fan on for me. I wanted the fan to move...so I knew my big guy was there. After 5 minutes I rolled over and cried even harder because nothing happened. Then I heard a "zzzz zzshhh sound." It is the sound our fan makes when it is on high.


For the first 30 seconds I told Bam how mad I was that he was gone. How painful it was for the kids and I to try to live a life without him in it. How his children were left with Papa Dick to lean on. And then I just told him how much I loved him...how much I wished I were with him. As I was able to just let everything out....I felt his arms around me...I could feel his breath upon my neck, the warmth of his chest on my back. I told him I would never forget our promise that the one left behind would find the strength to push forward for the kids. 


As I whispered, "give me the strength to be strong enough to withstand the time until we are together again.," the fan light flickered... and the blades slowed down ever so slowly until they came to a complete stop.

Several times since, during high stress moments... things will fall off of shelves. A money clip not seen for a very long time that meant alot to Bam. A picture taken of us long ago. My wedding ring set - which has been lost for years. While cleaning out his shop, I completely broke down. I begged Tommy to come back. I begged him to take me with him. I heard something softly crinkle. When I glanced over? There was a picture of Tommy in his first piece of equipment. 

The strength of our love? Has allowed the one person who has always been my strength when I was weak, my optimism when I was pessimistic, my hope when I was hopeless - to still be here during the times that I need him the most. My love for Tommy is timeless - and he will always be: my heart, my soul, my one, my only.....my everything.

I love you Thomas Michael Charles.