September 5, 2021
September 5, 2021
Tommy was like another brother to me. When the Butlers moved down the block from us our parents became close friends and my brothers, Peter & Paul, became close friends with Tommy & Steven, so we all grew up as family. I have so many fun, crazy memories of Tommy. He was the funny one, loved to rank on us girls and always the life of the party. As kids we’d call him apple cheeks and boy did he hate that! But he’d get us back for that, always hiding somewhere in the house ready to scare the crap out of us. I remember there being a big ice storm some time in the ‘70’s and everyone lost power for days but our side of the street still had power. The Butlers came to live with us for a week and it was the best time for the DiDonato and Butler kids!!!! All we did was sleigh ride and play games every day. Our Moms had to cook all the food from both refrigerators/freezers and we ate like kings. He loved Spider-Man and would hang from anywhere, a tree, the railings by the front door steps, and yell “I’m Spider-Man!” pretending to be him, always cracking us up. We all grew up with pools and he loved the water, we’d be in our pool or his for hours. Our neighborhood never needed a reason for a party. There were about 9 families that were all best friends and there was always something fun going on at someone’s house, adults upstairs and kids in the basement. In the summertime we’d spend our days and nights playing in the court. Our surviving parents are currently all still friends.
When we got older we’d ride our bikes to Sunken Meadow everyday and hang out with all our friends from school. We all went camping on the beach as teenagers and would take trips upstate and he couldn’t wait to get in the water with his gear. When we were teenagers we all joined the folk choir at church and Tommy played his guitar up there. There were times we'd be scolded for having too much fun and forgetting we were in church, Tommy and a few others were always making us laugh at the wrong time in the wrong place. Then he, Eric, Jimmy & Elaine started their first band and played at the church functions and got us all dancing - so much fun! We’d meet at Sunken Meadow every Sunday after 10:15 mass and play softball. A bunch of us went to Suffolk Community College together and we’d carpool every day, always a blast with the crew we had in the car. I remember a few times getting all the way there and then somehow we’d decide to skip classes that day and spend the day in the mall. Somehow I think that was one of the guys’ ideas of course. Even as we got older and started working, we’d all go to Ichabods, the local hangout on the weekends, and have so much fun together. We’d end up in a diner plenty of nights for a bite. Tommy would order a burger and when they asked him how he’d like it he’d say “rare, I like it moo-ing”. Too funny!
I remember when Tommy started talking about meeting Martha. I had never seen him so excited and happy talking about someone and couldn’t wait until we got to meet her. When we did I completely got it - he was smitten and they were always so much fun to be with. Martha fit in with the crew from the beginning and we were so happy he found his girl - we had another fun one to add to our KP gang!
When I moved into the city I remember having Tommy & Martha over for dinner one night and I had to make spaghetti & meatballs for him. He may have been Irish but he loved his pasta. Every St. Paddy’s day he’d call me the night before to make sure what bar we’d be meeting at after the parade. He’d march with the fire dept and I worked on 2nd Ave and all the Irish bars were on 2nd Ave and we’d have a blast. Him with all his friends and me with all of mine and everyone always having a great time together.
When Tommy & Martha were buying my parents house he was so excited to live there. I said “why do you want to live here Tom?” He said “I need a bigger house and I loved growing up here”. So I said “oh you must be planning to have more kids!” and he gave me that cute little smirk he had. And my sister, Mary-Kay, yelled at me and goes “Lee, I can’t believe you just said that!” I said “why, he’s practically our brother” and Tommy started laughing. And of course Patrick was born not long after they moved in.
As adults we didn't get to see each other often with me living in NYC and Tom & Martha in LI with a family, but whenever we did get together we'd pick up right where we left off. All those years and all the memories!! I could go on & on. But I will say this; the best are Tommy & Martha’s wedding and seeing them become parents. Such happiness and they were always doing something fun as a family.
The last time I had seen Tommy was 2 weeks before 9/11. It was the Saturday of my 20 yr high school reunion and my close friend Tricia was up from NC and we were both spending the weekend in Long Island for the reunion. We decided to go to Short Beach for old time’s sake and we ran into Tommy, Martha and their 3 kids. Sean & Kelly were running around playing and Tommy was holding Patrick like a football, so cute! We hung out for a while and had a great time. I’ll always cherish that last memory I have of him; Tommy at one of his favorite places - the beach! With his favorite people - Martha and their 3 beautiful children!
He was always the life of the party - miss him tons.
xo Elissa (DiDonato) Giampaolo
When we got older we’d ride our bikes to Sunken Meadow everyday and hang out with all our friends from school. We all went camping on the beach as teenagers and would take trips upstate and he couldn’t wait to get in the water with his gear. When we were teenagers we all joined the folk choir at church and Tommy played his guitar up there. There were times we'd be scolded for having too much fun and forgetting we were in church, Tommy and a few others were always making us laugh at the wrong time in the wrong place. Then he, Eric, Jimmy & Elaine started their first band and played at the church functions and got us all dancing - so much fun! We’d meet at Sunken Meadow every Sunday after 10:15 mass and play softball. A bunch of us went to Suffolk Community College together and we’d carpool every day, always a blast with the crew we had in the car. I remember a few times getting all the way there and then somehow we’d decide to skip classes that day and spend the day in the mall. Somehow I think that was one of the guys’ ideas of course. Even as we got older and started working, we’d all go to Ichabods, the local hangout on the weekends, and have so much fun together. We’d end up in a diner plenty of nights for a bite. Tommy would order a burger and when they asked him how he’d like it he’d say “rare, I like it moo-ing”. Too funny!
I remember when Tommy started talking about meeting Martha. I had never seen him so excited and happy talking about someone and couldn’t wait until we got to meet her. When we did I completely got it - he was smitten and they were always so much fun to be with. Martha fit in with the crew from the beginning and we were so happy he found his girl - we had another fun one to add to our KP gang!
When I moved into the city I remember having Tommy & Martha over for dinner one night and I had to make spaghetti & meatballs for him. He may have been Irish but he loved his pasta. Every St. Paddy’s day he’d call me the night before to make sure what bar we’d be meeting at after the parade. He’d march with the fire dept and I worked on 2nd Ave and all the Irish bars were on 2nd Ave and we’d have a blast. Him with all his friends and me with all of mine and everyone always having a great time together.
When Tommy & Martha were buying my parents house he was so excited to live there. I said “why do you want to live here Tom?” He said “I need a bigger house and I loved growing up here”. So I said “oh you must be planning to have more kids!” and he gave me that cute little smirk he had. And my sister, Mary-Kay, yelled at me and goes “Lee, I can’t believe you just said that!” I said “why, he’s practically our brother” and Tommy started laughing. And of course Patrick was born not long after they moved in.
As adults we didn't get to see each other often with me living in NYC and Tom & Martha in LI with a family, but whenever we did get together we'd pick up right where we left off. All those years and all the memories!! I could go on & on. But I will say this; the best are Tommy & Martha’s wedding and seeing them become parents. Such happiness and they were always doing something fun as a family.
The last time I had seen Tommy was 2 weeks before 9/11. It was the Saturday of my 20 yr high school reunion and my close friend Tricia was up from NC and we were both spending the weekend in Long Island for the reunion. We decided to go to Short Beach for old time’s sake and we ran into Tommy, Martha and their 3 kids. Sean & Kelly were running around playing and Tommy was holding Patrick like a football, so cute! We hung out for a while and had a great time. I’ll always cherish that last memory I have of him; Tommy at one of his favorite places - the beach! With his favorite people - Martha and their 3 beautiful children!
He was always the life of the party - miss him tons.
xo Elissa (DiDonato) Giampaolo