I know you’re watching over me from up above, and that gives me comfort. I hope you’re proud of the person I’ve become. I’ll always love you, Dad. Rest in peace.
Tributes
Leave a tributeI know you’re watching over me from up above, and that gives me comfort. I hope you’re proud of the person I’ve become. I’ll always love you, Dad. Rest in peace.
There have been thousands of times when I've wished you were still here, to celebrate all of my joys, support me in the hard times and help me calm my fear.
Sad to say it but wish I had spent more time with you. I want you to know I love you and think about you every day.
RIP Dad
I will always miss and love you.
Last week I heard baby birds cheeping in the birdhouse you gave me from our kids last year for Mother's Day. It made me laugh cos you said you only got it cos it's cute but that nothing would probably use it. But it also made me sad - I sooo wished you were here so i could show them to you!
Most of our kids are with you now. Another reason this year hurts so badly. But I am grateful we had the years together with them all. And for the ones still here.
But mostly I am thankful you brought Adam into my life. You did give me a 2 legged kid - not my blood, but I love him just the same. He has your eyes, & every time I see them I'm reminded of all the qualities I loved in you. But I also love him for the young man he is in his own right.
And for that, & so much more, I will always love & miss you.
I got to spend so many birthdays with you, wondering & planning things to do to make your day special, baking your favorite scotch cake, your favorite dinners, or going to Sam's Boat for long lazy lunch, or getting together with friends. And best of all being home and cuddling. Times I would pretend to forget your birthday (and you would pout) just so I could see your smile when I surprised you. Hours i spent trying to find the perfect cards. All the times I asked what you wanted me to get you & I always got the perfect answer: "just you". How I miss all we shared. I miss You.
Once I believed you could read my mind &see into my very heart & soul. I hope that was true & still is. If not, I hope these words reach you somehow. And so Sweetie, forgive me if I expound one last time.....
You were my best friend, lover, partner & confidant; my champion & my critic; the smile on my face & a pain in my "arse". We said there was no you or me, only "us" & "we". My belief in your love & our future together was my strength & sustained me when we were apart. You were my greatest joy, & finally my deepest sorrow.
This is the 2nd time I have felt the horrible pain of losing you. Life threw us curves. The oilfield is a demanding mistress & kept us apart when we needed each other most. Time apart took its toll. When you told me you wanted a new life without me, my world imploded. "We" had died, & I grieved over the loss of"us", & of you. To stop the pain, I tried to stop loving you. I buried all of the good memories behind a wall of anger. We fought as fiercely as we had loved. You said you changed your mind & wanted to stay. But hurtful words spoken in anger could not be unheard by either of us. Soon a house full of animosity was all we shared & divorce became the only option. You moved on. I told myself I had too. I had convinced myself I was getting good at being just me again. Until I saw you Thanksgiving & you wanted to share a beer like old times. I realized I hadn't moved on as much as I thought. Being "just me" around you was too new & still painful, so I shut you out & sent you away. I remember thinking "later, there is plenty of time for this later, when my feelings aren't so raw".
But we weren't given time. You left this world for a better one too soon. So again I mourn your loss. But this grief is different: just as deep, but more gentle. You took my anger with you when you passed. A void was left. The good memories & feelings I had suppressed came rushing in to fill it. And with them came forgiveness & gratitude for having shared even a portion of your life & love. Even with all the absences during our 15 years, you gave me as many memories to cherish as many couples share during a lifetime. I am blessed to have the family & friends you brought into my life, & all our 4 legged "children". It helps to think of you with so many of them now. You will remain alive & loved in the minds of those still here until we join you again.
You asked me last summer if I would shed a tear when you died. You doubted I would. In my pain & anger, I honestly didn't know. I wish I didn't know now, because I cry each day . And then I remember you happy, walking on "our" beach in Ababa at sunset, leaving footprints in the sand like those you left on my heart. And I smile past the tears.
I will never forget the way your smile could light up your face, the twinkle in your eyes, the warmth of your embrace, the simple pleasure of holding your hand, or the sound of your voice when you called me "Strange".
I loved you then, now & always.
I am glad we didn't miss the dance.
SWAK
Leave a Tribute
I know you’re watching over me from up above, and that gives me comfort. I hope you’re proud of the person I’ve become. I’ll always love you, Dad. Rest in peace.
The beginning
My 2nd "date" with Tim we met at Woody's Icehouse, our mutual favorite beer dive. It was a gorgeous warm nite so we were out on the patio, me perched on top of a picnic table & him standing in front of me. We talked for hours but seemed like only minutes. I'd never felt so close to anyone so quickly. Last call so we had to go. Tim lifted me off the picnic table & set my feet on the ground (yes, I'm that short). Then he took my hands and wrapped them around his neck. I was expecting a kiss, but instead he told me to put my feet on his & trust him. I giggled but did as he said & he put his arms around me and "danced" me to my car. He had no idea at the time that my Dad had done this when I was a child or how special it was to me. Once at my car he leaned me against it, dropped his arms & removed mine from his neck. He told me to close my eyes & I did, thinking Now he's going to kiss me! He kissed my forehead & both eyelids, then he gently cupped my face and .... nothing! I opened my eyes to see him caressing my face with his puppy-dog eyes & tilting his head side to side like a puppy does when it is trying to understand something new. I started to speak but he shook his head no & started leaning toward me. I thought, Finally! And then I felt him slurp my face from chin to tip of my nose!!!. He dropped his hands and walked away, asking over his shoulder: tomorrow?
I was 43, but giggled like a schoolgirl & can still feel the way my cheeks hurt from smiling on my drive home.
I also remember thinking, when I parked my car... S**t, Houston, we have a problem.... I think I love this guy!
My grandson and I wanted to pull a little prank on Tim so we found those fake bullet holes you can stick on cars. We put them on his truck then called him out side and asked him who was shooting at him. He was so angry and was about to explode, Joey and I were laughting so hard it was hard to explain they were just paste ons. After he understood what we had done he found the humor in it but if you could have seen the look on his face when he first saw it you would have been rolling in laughter as well. I miss him more than words can say. Rest in peace my love.